I have a big problem, whom shall I talk with?
How would you think an introvert deal with their personal problems? That’s how I understand them more than ever. I am not an introvert for the record, I always wanted to be with some people. But there will always be a time that I feel like I adopted that characteristic in my mind, being so deep and drowning in the silence, being a person under the skin of loneliness. I understand how it feels knowing you don’t know whom you shall share with your personal problem.
Silence, that the first sign that someone is under the influence of problematic stage, a quiet and deep thinker that sitting in a place where he doesn’t care about the dogs that are barking, don’t care about the people who see him, never mind the things that happen for he knew that this was just a picture of disturbance, the huge cargo in the deep side stream was so huge that knowing others is just distractions.
Instead of dealing with self silence, I just stood up and open my laptop. Trying to comfort me in writing instead of being nothing in some galaxy of loneliness.
What would be like if we had no problem? We were dead if we didn't have any issue. But also the dead had the problem for sure, I don’t know but just like me, dead people can't tell what was inside their mind or what was the trouble.
I wanted to reverse the time where my problem was that I didn't review my quiz, where the teacher announced the supposed quiz. I had nothing in my mind so I am worried so much about failing. I can't concentrate and can't even think properly, so my grade was low. But after the sudden surprise, it's now gone and I moved on quickly.
I wanted to come back in the timelapse where I was just problematic. What would tell my parents why I am late going home after school, or why I am early? I am early because my friends chose to cut the class instead.
If there will always be an opportunity to dive into a sphere-like that I will. I also wished that I had a superpower like Dumbledore from the Harry Potter sequel where he could detach things in his head with his wands. So my mind will rest early in the evening.
But whom shall I talk about with all my problems? Personally, it's more comforting to talk to someone but I am not sure who was the fit. My mother? No, I don’t want to distract her, she wasn’t in a good condition. My Father? I never talked to him about any of my personal problems, My sisters? No, they are far away. Friends? I am sure they might be busy, Strangers? Yeah, I did sometimes but it’s a waste of time looking for it...
I talked to my dogs.
I had a lot of them that I know could feel something wrong with me. I grab one of them at night sitting under the dark skies. My favourite dog was sick, it's like she was also problematic like me. Hugged them and told them all of the things.
It Sounds magical when they kiss you, they might don’t understand what I repeatedly said but they are giving me the confidence that whatever happens they will stay with me.
Music is more comforting.
I put on the earphone connection and browse for the best music, not subbing for I wanted to be alive not drown.
God? I am not a Godly man but I fear him.
I don’t know whom or when and where I should ask the favour. The living or the dead? The humans or animals? They are both the same. Some people are more affected animals as if they don’t care, some animals are more confident like humans for they comfort us.
Nature? yeah, that’s also one, it's like the stars of the night gives comfort, the fresh air that was filled with fragrance near the piggery of my neighbours, the bugs that irritated my feet for they are distracted by the lights of my phone.
I see some people that use Social media for some validations, I don’t know but I choose to ‘unfollow’ them especially those people I don’t really know personally or those people whom I know. Social media wasn’t that fit for the problem. It’s a toxic thing for me to see some people doing so.
How about you? Whom do you tell your problems with? If there was someone you were lucky, and if you could share it with anyone you're brave.
THIS ARTICLE WAS DRAFTED A MONTH-LONG AGO, I JUST DON’T WANT TO LOSE IT LOL. A clickbait for sure, Thanks for reading…
...You need to express your grievances to someone that is capable of hearing your problem, not by judging 🧐 a friend or colleague that is easier to approach and most importantly able to help you