"I am an ordinary person who also struggles in life, and is not happy all the time." -MICHELLE
I can clearly see Michelle running on her way to our meeting place, her smile already visible even from a few meters far. She bowed lots of times and sincerely apologized for coming late.
"It's okay, really... We have been informed that you're gonna be busy today, so we did not expect you're coming tonight."
"No! I should! It's so late, and you guys must have been so tired of waiting. Let's get some midnight snacks later. It's on me!" Michelle says, with a small laughter im between.
Actually, we ate the snacks she bought while doing the interview. It was such a light-hearted mood, and even with the naturally shy and reserved personality of Mich (she asked us to just call her that), I felt that we've been friends for so long because of how comfortable the overall interview was.
Me: Hi, Michelle! I am Ellehcim, and it's such an honor meeting you. Thanks for giving us time for this interview.
Her: Mich! You forgot! Call me Mich! (laughs)
Me: Oh, sorry about that! Haha! Now, Mich, before I ask you these questions prepared, let me give you some time to tell us more about yourself. Go!
Her: Hi, I am Michelle. Mich, for short. I am 21 years young, 22 soon on the 2nd of September.. And.. Hmm.. What more? I can't find some interesting facts about myself! Wait.. Okay, so I am single, and happy about it, working as full-time writer recently, and I love blue!
Me: Wow! I love blue, too! Yeah, single is life.. We gotta enjoy it!
Her: Oh, single too?
Me: Yeah! Single girls! (High Five)
Me: Okay, so we all know here that writing is your passion, and that you've been doing it since your highschool days. What is your reason for loving writing? I mean, why, of all things out there, writing is the one for you?
Her: Writing. Hmm.. I am a person that is not really expressive of my emotions. Anger, happiness, excitement, even my affection to my loved ones, I always find it hard to like, expose my whole colors.
Writing helped me release all bottled up emotions inside. When I write on my diary, for instance, no one would judge me except myself. Maybe because I am also afraid of what people may say if I act a certain way, something like that. So I just prefer to exhale my feelings and everything through writing, and with that alone, I feel better.
Writing equals me, in short.
Me: I can see you can express yourself really well even we're conversing like this. I can't believe you prefer writing than speaking..
Her: Yeah, maybe I was just comfortable around you, I guess. (Smiles).
Me: That's flattering to know. Now, how about, where do you find inspiration from in writing?
Her: I guess, in pretty much everything. Whatever I am feeling at the moment, how my day went, a story that suddenly pops in my mind, or a song that affected me very much, andβit's crazy, everything just suddenly urges me to get that pen and start writing. It just comes naturally, not forced. It's because I write more about my personal life, so it does not need to have proper research not technicalities.
One more thing, it is from my core supporters, my readers. As long as there is always someone who looks forward to my works, I think I'll continue writing.
Me: Well, that's Mich for you.. Answering questions as if it has been given to her in advance. (We both laugh). You're sure you aren't a beauty queen back then, right?
Her: No, no! Haha! Pageants are not my thing. Please..
Me: Now, moving to our next question, let me ask you some questions we got from your fellow writers we have called before this interview!
Her: Oh.. I did not expect that!
Me: Yes, it's supposed to be full of surprises! Haha! Anyway, these people are so looking forward to your responses to their questions. Are you ready?
Her: Hmm, I think I am. Wait, I suddenly got more nervous..
Me: No, don't be! For the first one, we have this amazing and inspirational question from @Vibration101.
Her: Oh, you got him to ask me? Wow! Hello, friend! Make sure it's an easy one! Hahaha!
Me: Mich, how do you see yourself in five years?
Her: Five years?
Me: Yeah. Like, what are your dreams, goals, and aspirations, and how do you want to achieve them?
Her: Wow.. This friend really gave me like a one million worth question! Anyway, okay.. I see myself getting most of my wishlist done. This includes traveling to countries I'd love to go, like South Korea, Paris, and Japan.
I also may have been able to publish a book in my name.. It's like a dream come true to me, really. Five years from now, I'd love to see myself being more financially strong and independent than I am today. My goals, aside from getring better in writing, and publishing a book on my own, is to invest myself a nice house for me and our family. Maybe five years would pass and I'd still not accomplish that, but hopefully when that time comes, I may have made some steps to start making it come true, at the very least.
Me: Your family must be so lucky because you include them in your plans.
Her: Well, they have been suportive of me since day 1. They are my first fans. (Laughs). Anyway, about my other goals..
Me: Yes, please continue.
Her: You see, I have a platform where I publish blogs, as well. In five years, I'd still love to see myself writing here. Who knows, this platform may change so much in the future, but I hope I'd still stay as this blogging site gets stronger as people discover it.
Aspirations, I have lots. I will tell one that I'd love to really work on. It's to have my own giving project. Whether it's to help my fellow writers, or other people outside the field, I aspire to be a blessing to others with these humble achievements of mine.
My dream actually is to just have writing as a full-time job, which has been granted recently. I was blessed to have my blogs be noticed by lots of people online, and I am happy to know my works are finally gaining some attention. Writing has been a side hustle for me in the past. Recently, I made a tough decision to let go of my main job, which is about office stuff, you know, dealing with numbers and all.. Now, I am just writing. Thanks to the solid base of supporters I have gained throughout the years, I am getting by so well.
Me: Of course, they must have seen something in you that made them support you and to stay.
Her: Yes, you're right. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
Me: Here's some follow up for you. Where were you in the past five years, and how far do you think have you come?
Her: Five years ago, hmm.. We know my blogging started three years ago, so two years further, maybe I was just a normal college student back then. Having writing as just a past time. You know, in Facebook, there are groups where one could write and post fan fictions and other genres of stories, and of course, I could also read theirs. I was a patron of that time (laughs), and I am telling you, I am sometimes just shaking my head whenever I read my works from five years ago.
Me: Why? (Laughs). What made you do that?
Her: Five years ago, I am still not that good and trained in writing. My thoughts and ideas just don't go well together, and I myself have been confused about how I processed the story plot. (Laughs) I don't know, let me give myself a break, come on, that's five to six years ago.
Me: Yeah, right! It's part of the process!
Her: Yeah. I was still a young girl full of dreams. Well, until now. The past me did not expect that she'd be like this five years later. A full time writer who has lots of goals and inner hope.
Me: Thanks a lot for giving a comprehensive answer to that question. Now, let us move one to something a bit.. deeper.
Her: Harder than the last one?
Me: Uh.. hmm.. same difficulty, I think.
Her: Fine, just ask it! (Laughs)
Me: This one's from @Yzza0625 . Mich, what's your greatest regret in life?
Her: Wow, this one's hard and kinda unexpected. Well, I don't have that one life-changing moment where I regretted something very deeply. I guess there are some similar instances rather, that I regretted because of the same reason.
I regretted not being real to other people. I always did what would please the people around me. It's hard to say No, because I was afraid they'd judge me, and not like me anymore. Even I did not like what I was doing, I kept going because I have this thought that maybe what I want, is wrong, and they are right. I have a pretty low self-esteem and self-belief back then, and I regretted it.
Me: Do you think, you are still like that now?
Her: Well, honestly.. maybe. But I have seen great changes, and I even did some decisions that I based on choosing myself, and I am happy about it.
Me: Wow, Mich. That's a satisfying smile you have there.
Her: Thank you so much, and to the one who asked that. Tell Yzza thanks!
Me: She'll definitely know about this. Don't worry. Now, let's see @Eunoia 's question. Now, we are getting a bit unconventional.
Her: Wait, unconventional? That's strange, but I seem to like it..
Me: Definitely you would! Haha! Okay, this friend asked.. If you had a chance to disobey any rules in your life, what would it be? Anything could be given, politically, spiritually, or others.
Her: Okay.. Let me think about this one for a bit. You know, I am someone who prefers following rules because I can't see anything wrong from them. So, this one's hard. Okay.. Sorry, I can't think of any. Sorry, Eunoia! I will let you know when I get to think of something.. This is a thought-provoking question nonetheless. I like it.
Me: You might think of it even after this interview..
Her: I definitely would!
Me: Just let me have an update if you'd get a new answer, okay? Now, let's hear from @CoquiCoin because this fellow gave us another interesting question for you.
Her: Okay, bring it on, Elle!
Me: If you'd suddenly leave your home, knowing you'll never come back, and you can take only five things with you, what would be these things?
Her: Five things! Five things, okay. First, a phone, then a charger. I could have every resource in my phone, Bible app, online banking, my blogging sites, etc. Third, my money, all my money (laughs) whether cash or cards, Imma take 'em all! I gotta make more money and just get the rest of things I'd have to get. Fourth, clothes, of course, to get me by for the first few months of living alone, I don't wanna go around naked. And the last one, some food, maybe?
Me: Those five things, seemed a lot. You're smart. You got me there!
Her: Did I cheat? No? Haha! Next question, they may notice! (Laughs again).
Me: Okay, Mich.. We got a bit crazy question from @Meyzee here. Trigger warning in advance. Especially to whoever may read this one. (Whispered to her the nature of the question).
Her: Oh! Meyzee, you mean Meyzee the Plumber! Goodness, I look up to her a lot!
Me: I don't really get the Plumber part, but okay.. Here is her question. Brace yourself.. Supposedly, the world has gone mad. You can't hide. Choose between the two, k*ll or be k*lled. What would you choose to do?
Her: Whoa.. That's a bit disturbing. Meyzee's such an unpredictable one. Haha! Anyway, I am not sure if this may change if that time comes, knock on wood, of course it won't happen in Jesus' name. I would just be k*lled.
I can't dare do it to another person. I guess I am weak-hearted for that. It may haunt me for the rest of my life. I am good as dead when that happens. If someone would do it to me then, I know I'll do my best to resist. I believe we won't go in this situation. Let's keep praying for it.
Me: Oh, as much as I want to ask you more, our time is almost over.
Her: Oh, it's already over? I did not notice the time!
Me: You probably did not notice we have consumed all these snacks on our own.
Her: Oh, wow! We're good eaters! Let's do it some other time! I had fun in thus interview.
Me: Of course, I did too, Mich! Whenever I'd get the chance, I'd love to schedule another interview with you in the future.
Her: Sure! I am just a text away! And promise, I won't be late. Haha!
Me: Don't mention it.. Is there something you want to say to whoever sees this?
Her: Oh yes. Hello, everyone. Once again, I am Michelle, a writer. I am an ordinary person who also struggles in life, and is not happy all the time. This is so random and I don't wanna appear dramatic, but I just wanna let you know that you are precious, you are worth it, you are loved.
May God bless you always, and stay safe! Love yourself, number one! Thank you.
Me: Thank you so much, Mich for this one. Time to say goodbye.
Her: Awww.. Don't cry.. (jokingly).
An interview that seemed like a friendly conversation ended with a warm hug. This is a moment I'd never forget.
Especially those words she told me off cam.
"We are all humans, and feeling worthless may not sound good, but it's normal. I myself am also in this lifetime process called loving myself. It's hard because accepting my supposed 'insecurities' and eventually not labeling them as one is incredibly difficult, especially for a person with a low self-confidence like me.
What's nice to know is that I make an effort to love myself everyday, and that one small progress, even just 0.01% , is still worth celebrating. A big hug for myself, and a whisper, "You did well, Mich. You did well."
Thanks a lot for reading!
I don't want to write a long outro because this interview alone took me this long to write. Hope you did not get bored nor confused of Elle and Mich (which are both me, in the real sense LOL).
Thanks to everyone whose questions I used, and to to those who did not, I still appreciate you taking time to write them in my short post yesterday. I will still answer them in my future blogs so they won't go to waste.
Now, this is a challenge to everyone I mentioned in this interview article. I was tagged in this challenged by the mastermind, @Peter-Molnar, to write something like this one. Hello there, I hope you liked it.
You are free to do this everytime, you can make your own questions or ask for help like what I did yesterday. No pressure, but I will look forward to your entries. (Haha!)
Until Next Time!
Lead Image from unsplash.
First photo is yours truly. :)
Love,
Elle β‘
Ang dami na palang mga challenges hindi ako aware. Pero yung 5 years from now and 5 years ago, nasa list of topics to write ko yun. Kasi 2016 was one of those years na I feel I have everything both money, career and slight love. Hahaha. Pero di ko pa nagagawan article.