Amidst the millions (and even more) questions that we have asked in our lifetimes, we can be sure that at least one of those got an answer already.
This is my take on Miss Jonica’s latest Writing Prompt regarding questions. All of us had at least asked a question ever since we had gained awareness. We are also aware that there are questions that we can’t find the answers to. And I think, that is what makes life worth living. I mean, wouldn't life be too boring if the answers will just be spoon fed to us? Curiosity is an innate quality in every human; we never get tired of asking questions. Do you agree? Wait, I think I just asked a question. Did I?
How do I Write My Name?
M.I.C.H.E.L.L.E.
Yeah, Michelle is my name. It is obvious with how I just used the reversed version as my username here. At age four, I started learning to read and write. I was fascinated by how I saw the adults write their names with letters. On one Monday evening, mom just arrived from work; I asked her, “Mom, how do I write my name?” She taught me patiently on how to write those eight letters. I never realized that moment is the birth of my passion to scribble my thoughts; even I know I still was not making sense at the time.
Today, I do write as a side hustle, and I am happy I discovered this activity as something I would learn to love. Ah, so this is how “Michelle” is written. How about my surname? Mom, how do I express “I Love You” through a letter? Mom, how?
Why Can’t We Have What We Want?
I started asking this question on my adolescent years. Back then, mom has resigned from work. Dad was the only one working, and all three of us siblings are studying at highschool. We were poor. And I resented that. Why was I born into a poor family? Why can’t I have the same allowance as them? Why do I have to walk from school to home when others can commute? Why do I have to cry about lack of budget for school projects? Other kids of my age don’t. Why me? Why?
I did not dare ask these to my parents. I know they are having a harder time than we do. Though I can never deny there are certain times I grew jealous of others. I resented poverty, that is for sure.
Why is Everything So Hard?
I did not realize taking this course would affect me this much. My physical, emotional, and mental health were all in chaos back then in college. If I would be able to go back and foresee this event, would I have chosen a different path? It is not my passion anyway. Did I have a choice back then? All I just know is, that time, I was just so pressured to create a path, even though it was unknown to me yet the future I wanted to take. Well, until now. For real, where is my life headed? Until when will I stay as a leaf that goes wherever the wind blows?
I could not help but ask those questions for some certain times. What is the use of living in this world if we are only experiencing hardships? Is this how I am supposed to enjoy my age? Crying every night, worried of the future? Because if it were, I would rather not exist here. Why must fate always joke on me? Can’t I just live freely?
When am I Gonna be Free?
Many things have changed when I officially became an adult. Yes, I got job. I am now able to help provide for the family. Allowances and budget are not much of a problem now. Somehow, I can say I have achieved a bit of a financial freedom. How come I still feel so strained? What is this feeling of being unsatisfied, of wanting to be free from some kind of a chain? I always say now that I am okay, but am I really? Or am I just forcing myself to say it? When will that time come that I can do what I love most without worrying about important things? When will I be able to confidently say, I am okay?
I am growing impatient on how destiny plays on me. Am I really just a product of a pre-determined lifetime story? Or can I revise its script? When do I find the courage to do it? When will I be brave enough to make a change? When am I gonna be free of the societal norms and standards?
Questions can be Answers, too.
The more I age, the more I realize my questions are getting deeper, and quite impossible to answer. From a simple “How to write my name” to “When am I gonna be free”. I also realize that I gradually learn the answers too, as I grow older. They really mean this saying: “With old age comes great knowledge.” Every developmental stage is a chance to learn something new. The more the questions are answered though, the more questions arrive.
However, I noticed that answers can be a form of questions, too.
How do I write my name? Are you sure it is the real question you are asking? Or do you really just want to learn something? Is writing your hobby? Have this become a passion? Then, great. Keep learning. Develop what you have.
Why can’t I have what I want? Look at yourself. Are you making moves to make the impossible possible? Have you at least done something to get what you want? Or are you just sitting pretty, waiting for the apple to fall on your lap? If not, when are you going to start taking action? Perhaps, the answer is now.
Why is everything so hard? Let me ask you back, since when has everything become so easy, anyway? Do you realize that what’s easy for you can be hard on others, and vice-versa? Maybe, by now, you realize that those hardships made you stronger. Look at you now. Are you still that weak woman entering adulthood? Or did trials make you a stronger person you are now?
When am I gonna be free? To be honest, when really? I know you are aware that the only one who can aswer that question is you. You know what you want to do, are you taking steps to prioritize it? Must you wait for destiny to do all the work for you? Do you have an idea that you are very free to snatch that pen from Destiny and write your own plot? Yes, you are. You are a writer of your own destiny.
Though it is hard to believe, I personally think that every single question has an answer. It is just not known to us. Somewhere in this boundless universe, the answers to those open-ended questions are hidden, waiting for someone great to discover them. Although sometimes, we need to ask more questions to dig into the roots of the ultimate answer.
In the past, people used to question why there is a thing called day and night. There was no answer to this, until someone discovered the science of sunrise and sunset. People used to ask how something can be done easier, until geniuses came up with great inventions and discoveries.
What do you think about it? Do you agree with this? If not, can you comment down some unanswerable questions? I want to ask them to myself, too. Let's indulge ourselves into a rabbit's hole of mysteries. Are you up for this?
Hello! Did you have fun reading this? Personally, I admit I still have a lot of questions. My life is meant to find answers to these questions. Wish me luck.
This is my entry to Miss Jonica Bradley's 5th (I think? Question mark LOL) Writing prompt which is about "QUESTIONS". Feel free to join this, as this can help us improve our skills. Can't wait to read yours! Be informed with the following rules:
Write about motivation
Write 100% original content
Write at least 600 words
Tag me @JonicaBradleyn.
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I thought you're a man because of your username, so you are actually a she 😅