I Can't Thank Him Enough (Pt. 2)

Sending my warm greetings to anyone who's reading this. I hope you enjoy your stay here.

This is the second part of my testimony as a Born Again Christian. I had the courage to share a some of the toughest battles I have overcome in the last few years.

Here's the First part:

• Part I

Without further talks, let's get right into this.

• My Journal of Experiences

I have given an introduction about how my father was hospitalized in the beginning of 2019. I received the news through our church group chat, one evening.

It was a few days of torment before I really got to know what exactly happened to my father. It seemed like mom didn't want me to know because she was worried for me, too.

I kept a journal when I started living in the dorm. I figured it would be nice to document my experiences of being far from my family.

However, it ain't a typical journal. The contents are more like 'Letters to God'. I don't write "Dear Diary". I always wrote "Dear Father God" instead.

I put some of the entries just in case you want to see.

I looked back and I noticed I have also wrote how I felt while getting failing exams:

If I may translate some of the Filipino words in the picture above, here's what I said:

"Dear Father God,

Hello 2019!

Father God, I am sad. It's my fault. Is it? I know I did my best. Everything's exhausted in me. Body, brain, emotions. I studied, Father. I feel really hurt right now.

Did I become too confident? Did I slack off in certain parts? I know I did my best. But now, I failed 3 subjects.

Lord, I don't want to repeat evals anymore. I just want to graduate, and just end everything. Lord, I am struggling, I am getting tired. I don't wanna give up yet, but the enemy brings me down.

Lord, others passed, I didn't.."

And below is the excerpt from my particular entry about my father. It is the longest I've written. I remember myself crying while I wrote this. This is the first page:

It turned out my father has an infection to his liver and kidney. He has been smoking for years, and that has impacted his organs badly. Moreover, his job is something that gets himself dirty.

I am proud to say that my father worked as a junk/scrap seller and buyer. This job made him handle dirty stuff everyday (stuff that are considered 'Garbage' to others) despite little earnings.

But he managed to get us through everyday. And I am able to reach fourth year college, thanks to him and my older sister. I will never not be proud of them.

• New Burden

My mother let me know that they are finally accepted into a public hospital in Manila, which is, fortunately, a few rides from the dorm where I stay.

From that time on, I habitually visited my father whenever mother needed to go back home (to get new clothes and other necessities). I portioned my budget to hospital transportation expenses and further decreased my other expenses to get by.

I feel so proud that I managed to help take care of father even I am busy reviewing. There was one time I will never forget: When his doctor saw me reading a book beside him, he said, "Very good! Keep studying. You'll be successful," along with an encouraging smile. I swear I tried my best to hold back my tears, and I succeeded.

Those words are the only thing I needed to be motivated.

There is one time that I regretted for acting in a certain way. Once, mother called me to take charge of my father for she has to go home. I remember I sounded obviously annoyed; I have exams tomorrow—I should review today. Mom scolded me a bit to get me into my senses. After the call ended, I cried like a baby. I felt so bad for attempting to not take responsibility but I also felt unfair. I went nevertheless. I just brought with me the book I borrowed from my room mate to review in the hospital.

• We are getting there

Time flew so fast. I never noticed that it has been two months of that exhausting routine, but I was able to overcome.

My father underwent two operations and stayed a little bit longer because he had rashes. That day, we expected him to go home, but he suddenly had those and needed to be isolated. Our excitement turned to worries.

One more day of waiting and we finally came home. You can just imagine how I stayed awake from our late night trip because all I could think about was 'Finally, we are coming home.'

We arrived midnight and didn't even bother to organize all our belongings. It had been a long day and all we just wanted was to sleep.

• The Battle isn't over yet

Of course, I had to go back to Manila. Knowing my father has recovered lifted a really big burden off my chest. Now, all I just have to worry are my expenses, and my grades.

This too, shall end. I always kept this in my mind and kept fighting, even I know that I still fail in some areas. God's with me, I will overcome.

Finally, all our examinations had come to an end. I thought it would never. But yeah, I guess this is it.

We all stayed in the dorm so we could utilize the rent we paid for that month, even we don't go to PUP anymore. That time, we had only one thing bothering us: Are we going to graduate or not?

• The Awaited Rest

I am typing this with a smile on my face. After all sleepless nights, difficult exams that we had to take, our solo and group crying sessions (LOL), fighting with our own personal struggles, we had a good sleep.

No words can describe how heavenly that feeling was to us, knowing we'll just sleep tonight without worrying about exams tomorrow. We woke up as late as 11:30 in the morning, but we stayed on bed. Finally I was able to open my Twitter, watched anime and drama, and take a rest as much as I want.

Ah, so this is how it feels to be able to rest after a tiring journey. I appreciated sleep more, because of this.

• The Messages I received

March came and we finally went back home. My younger brother helped me bring all my stuff at home.

I always think about the outcome of my efforts in the lates semester. I heard some rumors about the results of the exams—of course, out of all branches and campuses of PUP, it is not 100% passing rate.

I woke up one morning and open my messenger, only to see a lot of chats. Only one word is common:

"Congratulations! You are graduating!"

I felt like everything just turned into rainbows. I declared the great news to our family without thinking twice and I saw how their faces brightened up.

So this is what success feels like. Seems like a vacation after a week of overtime work, a hot serving of fried chicken after days of fasting, a rain after years of drought.

Success is seeing the fruits of my labor finally bloom and it's a blissful feeling. All I could just say is "Thank you, Lord. Halellujah!"

Like a child that excitedly waits for her birthday, I anticipated my graduation day. Wearing that toga and marching into the stage, then finally touching my diploma.

And just like that, I have to cut this story again. Haha, I did not expect this would be really long. I can't believe I found courage to share some of my personal diary-like entries back then.

Here you go, the Part 2 for this testimony, everyone! Did I make you wait for too long? I hope not, and please, expect a Part three!

I guess Part 3 will be the last part, for I will focus more on how God helped us during those trying times. I hope you don't get too bored and anticipate that one, too! Because I just want to brag how amazing my God is.

Do you want to have a sharing time with me? Let's talk in the comment section!

For now, please enjoy it. Until next time, brothers and sisters!

• Lead Image Source: Thank You Lord

• The sources of the photos used in the articles (except from those that I own) are embedded in the pictures themselves. :)

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