I Don't Want to Cry the Most

We often cry when we are lonely, disappointed, angry, stressed, and worried, or even when we are just watching a heartbreaking movie or series. Sometimes, we also cry when we are extremely delighted and that is the kind of tears that we want to have that come out of our eyes- tears of joy.

But when do people cry the most? Is it when we cut our fingers when we're slicing an onion? Or is it when you are quarreling with your boyfriend or girlfriend and your misunderstanding leads you to break up? Perhaps, it is when you didn't get to pass on your Final exam in college or you didn't get the job that you applied for? Yes, we sometimes cry during these circumstances but I think we can all agree that people cry the most when they lost a loved one, especially if it's their parents that passed away.

In a Korean drama series that I have watched before titled "Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha", which is also one of my top favorite romantic comedy series, there was one scene that broke my heart the most. It was when halmeoni (할머니) Kim Gam-ri died in the series. She was the old woman who was the leader of the grandmothers in Gongjin village.

During her wake, her son and Hong Du Sik were having a serious heart-to-heart conversation. In this scene, the son expressed how he regretted those missed opportunities where he could have made her mother feel loved and special. He also mentioned that he regret not giving her mother a dental check-up so that he could enjoy eating dried squid again.

Then the son suddenly uttered words that made a huge impact on me as a person. He said,

"When parents pass away,"

"Children who regret the most cry the most."

I agree with what he said and so I couldn't do anything but cry when I heard these words from him. I think that we cry so much when we feel regretful towards the things we did and more especially about the things we did not get to do to and for our parents.

And it made me think about the time when I already lost my parents (*knock-on-wood*) and I wondered if I will be the person who will cry the most.

My parents are still both alive but they're also growing old. And sometimes, I would gaze at them and wonder about what if it comes the time when they would leave me behind already. Then I would think of those wrongful things that I did to them, like getting to raise my voice towards them when they're being too irritating or noisy, especially when they are fighting about nonsense things.

Then I would also regret those times when I didn't get to buy them the food they wanted me to buy for them or I didn't get to give them the money they asked me for because they have something to pay for. Most especially, I would then regret not treating them out to a restaurant or anywhere where we could eat together and make memories with them because I chose to go out with my friends and spend time with them.

I have always included my parents in all of the goals I want to achieve in life. I am working hard every single day because I want them to experience having a better and more comfortable life, and I want them to get to travel too.

But sometimes, I have to admit that when they would ask for a favor, I would even think twice if I should do it or not. And I know that if I didn't do it, it would be something I will regret when the time comes that they are no longer around.

I don't want to be the one crying and regretting the most when the time comes God decides to take away their life already that is why I'm trying and I will try and do my best to seize every opportunity where I could make my parents feel special and loved.

Because when our parents pass away, they will never come back no matter how hard we cry.