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Unsolicited advice

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Written by   31
2 months ago
Topics: Social, World, Books, Memories, My blog, ...

This article seems very important to me. In any case, I missed something like this in my time, and if I could find something similar, it was very supportive. And so.
My baby boy was born, then, as all babies should, lost weight in the normal range.
My colostrum came during pregnancy, milk - a couple of days after delivery. Everything like clockwork. But the baby was gaining weight slowly, or maybe, as I now analyze, slowly by the standards of the maternity hospital. I won't go into details, it's not that important. The point is that we were given formula feeding. After reading the writings of breastfeeding adepts, I started fighting desperately to keep breastfeeding and move away from formula. The books I read (plus outside advice) all said that formula was "evil" and I had to do everything I could to keep breastfeeding. I, in my usual way, fell for it. Then the struggle began. I did the best I could. I tried all the folk tips, from tea with milk to tie my chest with a warm scarf. It didn't help. Later I found a breastfeeding counsellor. I was corrected the attachment, I was told to squeeze as much time and effort as possible, to put the baby to the breast as often as possible (he was on my breast all the time, we are talking about the first month). I was like a madwoman getting up every two hours at night, counting the minutes during the day, constantly pumping the milk (it was almost not pumped) and so on. There was a little more milk but the weight gain was just as bad. I went to a second counsellor. There were tips like skin to skin contact, wearing a sling and, dammit, lactation too. Didn't help much either. The weight gain was a little better, but as I understand it, at the expense of supplementation with formula. It's worth noting that I was under tremendous stress, along with the fight for breastfeeding was also lack of sleep, almost complete. To say I was tired is nothing to say!!!! I was dreaming of switching to formula completely. I didn't care about the GF adepts and the best decision at the time was to call my doctor. She reassured me , we came to the conclusion that there was nothing wrong with formula and I was ready to switch completely. Oh yes, everyone, including doctors, were telling me that I wouldn't stay on formula for long, that there would be constipation and lots of problems. I never fully switched to formula. It all sorted itself out after talking to a mammologist. I just took it easy, that's all. There was a lot more milk, but not enough to fully feed the baby, so I finished feeding him. After I calmed down, the baby slept perfectly. The family was at peace.

As of this writing, my son is five years old. Until then, the first year of his life, we were on mixed, introducing complementary foods. Not once he was not constipated and no problems with food in general. Moreover, what they described to me as disadvantages, for me is a plus. For instance, I cannot always give him formula at night, because he gets full from the breast. I can leave him with my grandmother or husband, because he is used to the formula, and there is no problem with increasing its quantity. And so on.
Everyone chooses for himself and the baby. One thing I will say here is that the most important thing is calmness. Nothing makes breastfeeding work like a calm mum. 🤗
Friends, I'm writing this to underline that it's all about individuality! We are all different though we are all the same. What works for one, does not necessarily work for the other. Some people find artificial feeding suitable, while I prefer mixed feeding. The most important thing is that the baby and the mother feel comfortable.
I would also like to add to this article that when I had a baby all my relatives and people who cared about me believed (and many still do) that I would not survive without their advice😬 They were given on any occasion and not on demand, but out of the goodness of their hearts. The past in the Soviet Union was a strange time. It was ridiculous, even my friend, so to speak, advised me to breastfeed as long as possible!
In my own stupidity and inexperience, I listened to this advice for the first month. I listened and did not understand why I can't do it, I am not happy, I am just tired like an animal.

I was suffering for a month, and then one day my friend wrote to me to say how I was doing. I told her about my plight and she opened my eyes in response. She told me how with her first child, too, all tried to "help" and then like a copy of my story! And that got me thinking. I decided to act on the situation and my heart's desire.
At first we had a little problem with weight gain and, consequently, with the GF (breastfeeding). Then, as the chain, and then attracted and problems with sleep. And I was told to drink tea with milk, and drink special formula, and constantly squeeze. When I began to have problems with sleep, I was told to do different rituals, like washing with holy water and so on.
But when I decided to do as I saw fit!!!! everything changed. I have been watching my baby, reading experts who I consider to be authorities for myself (these are several blogs-pediatrician, osteopathic massage therapist,). I only listen to their recommendations through my own filtering. Suddenly, things started working out for me. Sleep got better, feeding lined up comfortably, weight started to be gained according to norms. And guess what!!! They started telling me that I was just lucky to have such a calm baby.
When I told them it was my credit and that my baby was ordinary, albeit my most favourite, the heavy artillery and bullying 😂 came into play. Here are my in-laws top three scares:
The colic will start, then we'll see. It didn't. Did tummy massages, put her over the sink, monitored her nutrition.

Soon we'll have sleepless nights and whistles. With a well-regulated routine or, at an earlier age, monitoring of sleep rhythms, they almost never start. The exceptions are sleep regression, learning new skills, illness and the like. That is, when all is well with the baby, he actually sleeps through the night.
But his teeth will come out...(substitute any frightening phrase). We haven't had any yet. Can't say anything.
Yes, I have faced problems sometimes, yes, it may be difficult for me when the teeth come out. But I don't want to insist in advance on some kind of thrashing. I want to deal with problems as they come. With love for my son. All problems are temporary. Even if it seems like there's no strength, they just appear out of nowhere, like in childbirth. Everything passes. And most problems are solved and you just wait them out, as it turned out, no need))
I spent sleepless nights watching smart TV shows and was enriched with knowledge. The point is that you can find something good in any situation))))
I want to somehow reassure those who are in a panic looking for solutions to the problems of sleeping a child or those who are just tired. Or the one who thinks she's a terrible mum and can't cope. Everything is solvable!!! And what can't be solved passes with time. You can find something positive in everything.
Harmony to all!

Photo:pixels.com.

I thank God for his help in writing this article, and you, dear readers, praise him if your reading has been helpful to you.
I want to know your opinion.
If you are interested in my content,then I invite you to read my other articles:

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Written by   31
2 months ago
Topics: Social, World, Books, Memories, My blog, ...
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Comments

Here we are told by Doctors to breastfeed for atleast two years, apart from giving other foods as well. This is to increase the immunity strength of the child.

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2 months ago

The plight of motherhood. I am actually a nurse and although we advise on breastfeeding we recognise there are some situations where it is just not possible. Some mommies have not got enough milk. And it is not their fault. People should not shame them for that. And yes respect individuality and a parent's effort in doing what's best for her child.

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2 months ago

I got 😲😲😲 when you mentioned holy water hahahhaa. That's true that it's the mother's choice on what and how to the child. Just like each person is unique, each mother has their own comfortability and of one opted to do breastfeed or formula feed it's okay. It's the dedication too. While reading this, I remembered my struggle in breastfeeding too.

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2 months ago