The fear of abandonment.

This morning, my cousin was about to go to work after taking his bath, he headed towards the gate while his youngest child scampered behind him, crying for his attention. He came back and took his son, patting him gently to stop the tears. He handed the little boy to the boy's mother who sat on a stool in the compound operating her mobile phone. She took him and sat him down on her laps while my cousin headed towards the gate again to go to work. He boy, on seeing this wriggled his way out of his mother's clutch, he headed towards the direction of his father again, crying as he scurried hastily to catch up with his father, unfortunately for this youngster his dad was long gone already and he was crying furiously, hitting his head with his palm at the betrayal.

At that point I wondered to myself "what if children aren't born with little bodies? What if they were born with strong arms and legs, with bulging biceps all over the place?" I imagined a scenario where my cousin was caught by his son and tied down on a wooden chair with strong ropes when he tried to leave him alone because I am quite sure that kid was crying because that's about the only thing he can do in that situation to get his father's attention, he might succeed or fail at this. I am also darn sure that if kids were born with Strong arms and legs, then that kid would do exactly what I had imagined earlier because although he would have had strong arms and legs, but he'd still be a kid at heart.

Then I realised that a lot of grown-ups are just like my cousin's son. They are still children at heart. They fear abandonment more than they fear their own death. They'd rather do anything within their power, even if it means going against their own beliefs, morals or values. They are so scared of being left alone that they would go as far as manipulate other people's feelings into keeping those people with them. I remember a story by @Theblackdoll titled "Best friend to my worst enemy" talking about how a friend fears abandonment or had become obsessed with her friend to the extent that she was ready to hurt her. This is due to a mentality of "if I can't have it, then no one else will". You can read the story here.

We all have a degree of fear regarding abandonment depending on how valuable the person is to us but when when this fear becomes so intense, it results in a form of unhealthy or toxic attachments that could result in the downfall of both parties involved. There's been a point most of our lives when we thought we couldn't live without a person. We loved them so much to the extent that they almost became like a twin to us but then they leave sometimes without warning either by death, or abandonment or for some other reason known to them. After going through all the stages of grief here we are, all fine and good for @Jane says, Let time heal all wounds . We have to learn how to be alone for our own good, to learn how to remain grounded in our own essence for in @Lucifer01 voice, if you're comfortable being alone, congratulations you understood the meaning of life!

You understand the meaning of life when you come to terms with the truth that whether or not your attached to a person healthily, you will get separated someday. Anyone who comes into your life isn't here to stay. Forever doesn't exist for people, only for memories. Cherish those who're with you now, don't let the fear of abandonment stop you from enjoying what you have now for they'll abandon you someday anyway!!

PS: My cousin's child is currently sucking away at his mother's breast and smiling at me as I type this, does it mean that he somehow got my message? 😂😂

Thanks for reading.

Yours Layly,

❤❤❤