For no reason.

Good day my friends!!

I woke up with a very deep sorrow yesterday, not because someone did me bad, not because I was insulted or beaten nor because something immediately went wrong. I woke up sad for a reason I don't know of! Yeah, you may ask "so how am I sure that it's not one of my thousand mood swings since I am that " female medico with a thousand moods swings "? First, the nature mood swings is well known to me else I wouldn't have been able classify them as mood swings. Second, when a feeling is real, you feel the realness of that feeling to a great depth, and you can't mistake it. It made me wonder," why are you sad this morning?" but I couldn't think of nothing. I then remembered that same goes for happiness at times. There are times when I wake up extremely happy for no reason but I don't care to question it because it's about happiness. We all want it making us get lost in it.

I strongly believe that there's a reason for everything making my curious mind currently work on this. I have asked friends and family of how frequently they experience sadness or happiness for no reason(I believe many of us experience such things) and a good number of them who reported to have had a higher occurrence over the months are people that one could say aren't really stable(psychologically or emotionally). They were people who have been through a lot and are coping through life. I then thought of something : what if it has to do with something from the past? I have read in some books that our past emotions, especially suppressed negative emotions have a way of expressing themselves in ways unexpected and inconvenient. When we keep things in our hearts for long especially negative emotions, it acts like a valve: it only let things in but doesn't let them out. When it gets filled with these negative emotions it makes it expand beyond it's ability and forces open the valve without warning, making us experience spurts of anger, sadness, sorrow or negative thoughts and other emotions we don't know the source of, but we do! That's the source! We keep things on our mind to the point when they overwhelm us. I am no psychologist but speaking from experiences, emotional instability is mostly caused by the inability to let go. The heart (mind) isn't naturally meant to store emotions making it involuntarily squeeze them out when it gets filled up.

Letting go means that you act like a filter. You filter your emotions, process them as they come, understand them and then let them go. Never you cling to them even if they are good emotions. Even the so called "positive emotions" can haunt us and may even general negative ones later on in life. Example is always wanting to be with a person because they make you feel good and experience positive emotions which you've somehow become addicted to, this can in turn lead to obsession which is a negative emotion, see? Or when we keep reliving the positive experiences we shared in our demised loved ones until we get sucked into them, making us escape our own reality and that of the world.

All these are things I think could lead to sudden outbursts of anger and sorrow or even happiness, unannounced without any warning. I am yet to know why I was sad yesterday and I don't think I can remember, but it thought me something : I will keep trying my best to let go and let God. It is really difficult but it is worth it. I am still trying to heal from the past, I am not backing out now, nor should you.

Thanks for reading,

Yours Layly,

❤❤❤❤