Breaks and relaxation are deeply essential to our goals if we truly want to achieve them. They reboot us for when we get back on the grind, are an opportunity to take a step back to introspect on things we have done so far and also a time to do other things we love apart from pursuing goals continuously. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy they say, but when is it recommended to rest? Personally I don't think there's any specific time a person can rest on because it's something relative. Some need tons of rest to function properly while others just do fine with little rest and their efficiency or level of productivity won't be affected. It's sometimes the case when little rest is achieved where there's suppose to be tons of rest and vice versa.

What prompted me to write this is that lately I haven't been very productive. Ever since the sallah break I find everything and anything difficult to do and that's because I really took it for a break which infact it isn't..... at least for me. I am a person who needs tons of rest to function properly :My body, my brain, my mind, they need rebooting on a regular basis. I decided to take a break off everything for Eid but then in fortunately I was really tired and needed the rest, the Eid break was so short that it wasn't enough for me to rest the way I should.. wait! Did I even rest during eid? The last time I checked I almost worked all night! So you see, my brain is full of fog and I am at a breaking point even as I type this and I for some unknown reason almost had an asthma attack and had to sleep with a pillow to my hip to prevent it from actually happening. My aunt said it was my restlessness and a bit of anxiety and I don't think she's far from the truth. My focus depth has decreased by a whooping 50% and I feel like my laid back self is slowly taken over.... not a very good feeling. It's like putting back on a dirty skin you've shed off a long time ago.

Hitting the reset button.

I don't know if anyone relates to what I wrote previously but I am seriously considering hitting the reset button, like getting everything back to ground zero and then build again. This means that everything will have to be entirely new if I am to keep up with my current state of mind. Sometimes all these things make me feel imprisoned or some kind of a robot who needs rules to function properly but I guess they are very important stuff since one can't just go living life haphazardly without knowing exactly what they are doing. It's an uncomfortable necessity that gets more comfortable as time goes by and more responsibilities are placed on your head.

I remember a time when something similar like this happened when I was on school. I felt like the whole world.... my whole world was crashing right before my eyes and I remember finding myself in a situation where I don't even know the next thing to do while getting distracted in the current task at hand. All I wanted to do was lie face down on my bed with a pillow placed over my head, the next thing I want to do after that is to lie face down on my bed with a pillow placed over my head.. Same with the next thing. Lack of purpose and motivation was the other of the day and useless unrealistic and senseless fantasies were the order of the mind. It took an extraordinary amount of mental strength and out of the world level of sheer willpower to be able to get out of that place, it wasn't very easy at all and even at that, I managed to escape with a failed CVS test because I couldn't study throughout that period. I wasn't depressed, it was just that I felt like a giant stone sat in the core of my being rendering me useless and ineffective, maybe that's another form or depression I done know.

Dear reader, are you able to relate with this anyway? Please if you do how did you get out of that place? If the method is a real fast one I'd be glad to hear it, because there are things that need to be done but I can't just bring myself to do them in my current state of mind.

I am sorry for my in inactivity, this is what I have been battling with in the last couple of days, honestly my phone had been the last thing on my mind.

Thanks for reading and understanding

Yours Layly,

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