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You have heard of Surrogacy; what is your take?

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Written by   114
1 week ago

I have stated it clearly before that I love to bring up real-life issues on this platform anytime I want to write. This is because I believe we are not just here to earn but also we are here to learn from ourselves and the experiences we have garnered individually. Don’t forget that this platform is an internationally known platform therefore I believe we must do our best to tap from our wealth of knowledge. Having said that, I would want to use this opportunity to welcome those of us who went on a holiday break due to the Eid celebration that was held two days ago, I want to say welcome and I hope you enjoyed your holiday. We are now back for business and I expect to see everyone striving to be better especially on this platform.

Surrogate

Hmmm… what comes to your mind whenever you hear the word surrogate? It may sound like an ordinary word that is seen in the dictionary or encyclopaedia but I tell you, it is more than just a word at least to some families. The word surrogate is of Latin origin (surrogare) which means “to put in another’s place or to substitute” (source).

Does this make any sense to you? If you have been an ardent follower of the happenings around the globe, you will understand why the word is now playing a major role in most families today. The truth is that I am not here to talk about the word rather I am here to give it a close look and to understand the rationale behind its usage in connection to childbearing.

 

Yes, it means to substitute right? But then, looking at it from the angle of childbearing and with our understanding as humans especially, those of us from within the shores of Africa, you will begin to wonder if one can truly substitute his birth mother. Don’t be confused about this because I would throw more light for you to understand better. While I was making researches on the word surrogate, I came across an article by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine which was titled;

 Third-party Reproduction: Sperm, Egg and Embryo Donation and Surrogacy.

I am not going to bore you with the entire article but I saw something that got my attention which is;

Surrogacy, also sometimes referred to as a traditional gestational carrier arrangement where the woman who carries the pregnancy also provides the egg (source). Read the full article here.

Read that again and try and make meaning out of it. Most times we neglect the smallest details because we feel it does not matter. Looking at the above excerpt, you will understand that there is a possibility that the gestational carrier can also provide the egg. Let me take us through a little lecture on reproduction. In biology, we were thought to understand that reproduction in humans takes place when a man meets a woman through sexual intercourse and the sperm of the man swims to fertilize the egg of the woman in the ovary. What does that mean? This means that the sperm of a man cannot form into a foetus without the egg of a woman.

 

Now, if a gestational carrier is contracted during surrogacy and she is allowed to donate her egg, what this means is that the baby will certainly have her genes. This is where I want us to look at very critically because I believe that no parents would want their biological child to have the genes of another person. Although the donation of the egg by the carrier is not a must, I believe that she will be the one to breastfeed the baby since the actual mother can, not breastfeed due to lack of breast milk which should have been formed if she was pregnant. If the gestational carrier will be the one breastfeeding the baby, won’t there be a part of her genes in the baby even though she did not donate her egg for fertilization?

I have tried to look at this from so many angles since I started researching about it. You can bear witness that there have been cases of DNA results showing that the supposed father of a child is not the biological father. Now, looking at this, can we say that surrogacy is the same as when a woman gets pregnant from sexual intercourse with another man? This should be a story for another because I believe there is more to it than meets the eye.

 

I guess you will be wondering what led me into writing about this. Well, I believe we learn every day both from our personal experiences and that of others. There was a discussion going on in our Alumni Whatsapp group last night and this discussion started from relationships, marriages and then to childbearing. 

When the discussion got to childbearing, one of the ladies asked a general question. She said; what do we think about Surrogacy as a means of childbearing? I must say that this question overturned the table because there were lots of opinions and counter opinions. At this time I decided not to say a word just to learn from others. So many thought that surrogacy is devilish or should I say not a Christian thing to do. Some others said it all depends on what the couple decides to do. This set of people cited Kim Kardashian West saying that she had to contract a gestational carrier to carry the pregnancy for her and that she paid the carrier for her services.

 

Some believed that instead of opting for surrogacy, it would be better to adopt a child outright since it is cheaper and less stressful. Some countered this opinion by saying that adoption is not better than surrogacy because, when you adopt, the child will not have any traces of both genes from the parents but for surrogacy, the child will certainly have the gen of the father if not both.

As this was going on, I noticed that the lady who asked the question was also silent but she broke her silence by saying that she thinks that surrogacy is not a wonderful idea because she cannot imagine allowing someone else to breastfeed her baby. In response, I told her that her opinion is personal and may not be strong enough to stand as a point in an argument either in favour or against surrogacy.

This is the reason I have decided to bring this to us for me to hear the opinions of others especially those who are from other world cultures. The question is simple and I will be grateful to read your response in the comment section.

What do you think about Surrogacy? Thank you…

 

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Written by   114
1 week ago
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Comments

I have read stories about surrogacy. It will be hard for the woman who bear the child for nine months. I'm sure she already love the child because we all know that there is a connection between the child and the mother even the child is still in the womb.

$ 0.05
1 week ago

That is why I don't think I would do such, instead, I will adopt a baby...

$ 0.00
1 week ago

It can work out well for many, but look how it turned out for Abraham, Sarah and Hagar!

$ 0.05
1 week ago

That is another angle to it... It may turn out to be one's greatest mistake in life.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

You know this made me remember the movie I watched in which this said topic was done. I can't say for sure if it is possible that the child doesn't possess some traits of the carrier, I really doubt. My own is that as far as both parties agree to it then there isn't anything wrong with doing that but another problem is, what if the child and the carrier suddenly become emotionally attached to each other? Wouldn't that be a problem for the parents?.

Well, it's funny but maybe I am being too dramatic here. Movies effect sha😹🤣😂

$ 0.10
1 week ago

We can't rule out such possibilities in this case since the child will certainly be fed with the carriers breast milk. Thank you for your response.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I have nothing against it. As long as all parties involved agree on what its role is. I don't see the harm in this. But I don't know if I would do it myself. It's hard to think of someone carrying your child for 9 months, or breastfeeding him. I have a son and it's difficult for me to think about myself in that situation.

$ 0.05
1 week ago

That is the part that most people can't reconcile with but the truth is, where there is a will, there will be a way... I wish WHO will try to look into surrogacy as a means of childbearing in other to dot every I's and cross every T's.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Of course, for me, it's perhaps difficult to imagine because I'm already a mother. But if I was in the position of not being able to have a child with my genes in any other way, I would probably consider it.

Now the other question is if I would be willing to be the surrogate mother. And in that case, I'm clear that my answer is No, I wouldn't do it. I can't imagine carrying a baby for nine months that won't be mine.

$ 0.05
1 week ago

You just brought in another dimension to this article... I will ask the lady who brought the question to our Alumni group, let me see what her answer will be.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I would love to know the response from her to this. I hope you'll share it here.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

It was very funny when I asked her the question... She said a big no, that she can't just imagine herself doing it... This made me ask her why she brought up the issue of surrogacy. She told me that she was just being inquisitive.

$ 0.02
1 week ago

Good for her being inquisitive. I think that the hardest position in the deal is the one of the surrogate mother. I guess the money could be the main driver in many cases. But it's a really hard thing having a life growing in you and giving up on it. Is a planned pregnancy ending in "adoption". Tough issue! Thank you for letting me know the answer of the woman in your group! :)

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I've heard about surrogacy before and I also tried to think about what that is. In my opinion, it's a critical decision to perform surrogacy since other woman is involved in the creation of your baby. However, if we look on the brighter side, this will help the couple to have their own child - with their genes, of course. As you say, it's not mandatory that the carrier must provide also her egg. It's the decision between two parties. Nonetheless, I don't have any negative reactions about that as long as every step of the way, the couple are supporting the carrier. :) and they are in good terms :)

$ 0.05
1 week ago

Thanks for pointing this part out... It is not just about contracting a carrier, it is about supporting her during and after the entire process. It is something that must be carefully looked at.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I see no harm if anyone wants this and open for this option. Whatever makes people happy and as long as all the people involve are okay with it then be it.

$ 0.05
1 week ago

Ok... This is actually what I wanted, just to hear the opinions If Others especially those outside the shores of Africa. Thank you for your response.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I must admit I have thought about this some time ago but brushed it off as I believed the hubby won't buy the idea as he also was hesitant about adoption. Also, thinking about having my own baby in another's bodyq and the chances of him/her inheriting traits of another woman gave me a deep sigh...

$ 0.05
1 week ago

That is the very part I truly would want WHO to look into, in a way to see if the baby can be protected from getting the carriers traits... That is what gives a lot of people concern. Thanks for your response.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

One of mine too, and yes, I think it's a given that a baby can get some traits from the carrier. Always a pleasure reading from your page😉

$ 0.00
1 week ago

You just have a very beautiful way of showing kindness with your words... I enjoy seeing you all the time.👏👏🌷

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Aw! you're sweet❣ Thank you

$ 0.00
1 week ago

We need to appreciate all women first. And in particular the waiting mothers. Surrogacy is always a hard decision for the expecting mothers. For someone else to carry their seed for 9months and someone else breastfeeding their child, it's so serious.

But to me, if this is the only option that will make a woman who is expecting happy. I see no harm in it.

$ 0.05
1 week ago

It's truly a very hard choice to make and it is not just about another woman carrying your baby in her womb, there is also the possibility of the baby getting some of her traits...

$ 0.00
1 week ago