October 9, 2021
💚 Dear Diary 🌿,
Today, my mind is pretty occupied and I can only write a Journal for my thoughts and stuff that's been bugging me lately. I owe myself an apology. I've been really hard on myself lately, pushing myself to the edge. Recently, I've started sharing things on my feed that might help others, treat their mental health, and spread positive vibes. I know what it's like to be completely depleted of motivation. I've been preoccupied with school, and I don't have much time to devote to a platform that I like anymore. But I suppose it's OK because I value my future.
These are the positive things I share in order to aid those who are dealing with mental health issues, as I am. I can't help but wonder whether someone out there would try to save me too, but I don't expect anyone to. I'm simply pleased I can help them deal with it by sharing encouraging words.
To be honest, it bothers me because I thought I was just making up pathetic excuses to avoid doing stuff but the fact was that I was just weary of everything. Basically, there's nothing in my system. I felt like I did it because I had to and it needed to be done even though I wasn't learning and enjoying things like I used to. This emotion sucks, but I had to cope with it again and over again, and I found myself getting out of my own, saving myself from the depths.
Even if I couldn't apply the things I conveyed to everyone, sharing my views to encourage others helps me feel better. Despite the tornadoes and storms, I was able to stand on my own. I keep reminding myself that I am important to someone and that I am beloved by someone.
I Owe Myself an Apology 🌿💚
I owe myself an apology for continuing to claim everything is great while the boat fills with water and slowly sinks. I owe myself an apology for believing those who told me I couldn't accomplish things when I knew I could. I owe myself an apology for not resting when I needed to. For failing to sleep on time, failing to have a nutritious meal, and failing to eat on time. I owe myself an apology for pushing myself to my limits and then becoming totally exhausted as a result. I owe myself an apology for constantly being negative on myself because I believed I wasn't worth it. I've been feeling overly emotional ever since; I've been battling with depression for a long time and haven't fully healed; I'm simply accustomed to it. I ruined the finest thing that ever happened to me because I was selfish and thought I didn't deserve it. I'm worried I'll never genuinely connect with anyone, and that everyone around me is simply acting. It's difficult for me to express affection since I don't trust anyone.
I owe myself an apology; I pretend not to care, yet I have a smooth heart that cries when watching a movie. I owe myself an apology for not having enough faith in myself.
Date: October 9, 2021
Author: Corpsekkuno
Title: Apology for Myself
Article No.: 63
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Author’s Note
Hello, this is Corpsekkuno! How are you all doing, my dear readers? I hope everything is good with you. Remember that you do matter, even if you don't think you do. What your brain tells you isn't always true, and you're overthinking things. Always take care of yourself and know that I love you.♥️
Thank you so much for taking your time to read this; I appreciate your effort and I hope you enjoy.
If you're interested in reading more, here's a list of suggestions:
Sometimes we have to do what we are uncomfortable with just to get what we really desire. I know "yourself" will understand you.