Mood swings and Scared of being alone,Is this a sign of ANXIETY?

Are you one of the person scared of being alone? Not scared of scary thing but something that you're mind will be overthinking. You are like having a nightmare on a daytime. And when you're alone you're kinda talking to your mind while other people seeing you like a paranoid. Are you easily git angry or mood swings. Is this a sign of ANXIETY?

People saw me a happy person a very hardworking person, very comfortable to others . A very naughty one, they sometimes told me " Alam mo naiinggit ako sa'yo kasi Ikaw lagi ka lang Masaya parang walang problema sa buhay. Sana ganyan rin ako gaya mo".

I will just simply replied to them by saying" Huwag kang magpalunod sa problema mo dapat Happy lang may problema man o wala just SMILE. Alam mo Ang problema minsan Blessings in disguise yan. Kaya Itawa mo lang." And they'll laughed and call me "Loko-Loko ka talaga Claire".

When people saw you being happy they always think you're stressed free, no problem. They always adore you for being like that . They made fun of yours, make you as a clown of the group. You are there source of happiness but never they know I am Struggling when I am ALONE.

I am one the person who is very master on hiding my pain, agony, problems and anything that's matter on my personal life hence,when I am Infront of other people I am so alive and a happy one. I never let them know that I'm in pain, I'm struggling because if I'll do it who will be their source of Happiness?

My story of Scared of being alone and mood swings just happen in this year 2022. I don't how it started but the moment when I am alone even when I shower my mind keep on like hallucinating that's why I always asked one of my collegues to stay outside of the shower and I keep talking to her so that I will not be afraid. And if that will happen my focus will be gone and my hands, my body will start shaking. Sometimes I cried without any reason. And when I lay down I feel like I'm asleep though my eyes are open but my mind are bringing me to the other side of our world that I always face on danger.

It always happens no matter it's daytime nor night time. There's one time I am writing an article on my note together with my alaga. All was well when they're with me but when they enter to there mom and dad's room I started trembling and my focus are gone. I feel like I am not on my own self because I was overthinking about something that will happen to me. My tears starting to fall down , my mind are talking to itself . I felt like being alone will kill/ makes me crazy .

And if ever I feel like no one's beside or with me . I will start playing music just to let my sorroundings noisy.

Sometimes I can't control myself towards to my co-yayas if I am angry I yell at them (if di agad sila makarinig) then sometimes I will not talked to them very nicely. They will asked me"Hoy! Anyare sa'yo lagi ka nalang naninigaw huh? Anong problema mo ? Ang saya natun kanina tapos bigla kang ganyan ?" And my answer is"SORRY, di ko Rin alam e. Okay ako pero minsan di naman pati ako di ko na maintindihan sarili ko".

Honestly I am afraid if what will happen to me since I do have a situation like this. Afraid of having an Anxiety or whatever. That's why I decided to lay low to all my part time jobs and focus on being a nanny. Maybe I am just tired that's why my mind is kinda overthinking. Being restless and having sleep difficulties that's all I always think .My best way to let go and not being alone is "PRAYER" and after saying "Amen " my senses will be back to normal.

Only prayer always save through this situation I have right now. No matter how I struggle on myself but facing towards my alagas I am very happy. I am very normal with them. I can't let them know on what happened to me. I don't want everyone around me to be worries about me. It's my problems and I will be the one to solve it, with God's help.

AM I EXPERIENCING ANXIETY NOW? OR I AM I ONLY TIRED?

Author's Note

Sorry for being so inactive yesterday. And sorry if this article is kinda shaky . I don't know how to start . Hope you'll like it guys. And let me know you're opinion regarding to this. Thank for the love and support. I LOVE YOU ALL