It has been in my mind to write an article on this topic and as God will have it, it comes to pass.
First of all, 'What is forgiveness'? Forgiveness means different things to different people. In my own point of view, it involves a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. ... Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm.
More time at home may be an opportunity to connect with loved ones—or it could bring up emotional wounds that have yet to be healed. Here are some questions that arise.
Questions Arises
Where can I take personal responsibility?
Is there an opportunity to invite repair?
How can I be more vulnerable?
Where can I forgive myself and others right now?
How do I want to show up to create more connection and trust with this person?
How to Foster More Harmony, Connections, and Forgiveness During Shelter in Place?
Step 1: Awareness
The first step is to notice where there is resentment. It may be a narrative that is keeping me disconnected from a family member, friend, roommate, colleague, or partner.
Ask yourself, “What story is keeping me stuck in ‘being right’ or in conflict with this person right now?”
Step 2: Cultivating Compassion
Our mindset and our willingness to practice compassion and forgiveness will make all the difference in our ability to create greater connection and trust during this important time at work and home.
Compassion is our willingness to face difficulty with presence and kindness. For example, “Wow, my daughter jumping into my bedroom during my Zoom office calls is really challenging.” How can you meet this challenge with kindness and presence? What kind of compassionate boundaries might be appropriate for working remotely? When we bring love and attention to anything difficult, the tension diminishes and we can be compassionate toward ourselves and others.
Step 3: Opening to Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the decision to free ourselves from the personal offense and blame that keep us mired in a cycle of suffering. Below are three mindful practices for self-forgiveness and forgiveness of others.
Three Mindful Practices for Self-Forgiveness
1. Guided Meditation
An 11-Minute Practice for Forgiveness
2. Write a Forgiveness Letter
For this practice, I invite you to write a forgiveness letter to yourself. Begin by writing on a piece of paper: Dear Self, I forgive you… Forgive yourself for all the times that you didn’t speak up, that you didn’t take good care of yourself, that you didn’t give yourself permission to name and claim what you want, that you didn’t hold healthy boundaries, that you didn’t say No.
3. Create a Loving Phrase
I find that if I am struggling to forgive myself or another, I bring in a loving phrase. You can try the one below, or create one that feels true to you. I am a loving person and deeply want the best for others. I forgive myself.
Forgiveness Has Layers
With these three practices we can discover that forgiveness has layers.
The first layer of forgiveness is internal:
letting in emotions and thoughts to the surface to be seen, felt, and acknowledged with kindness. We must feel, before we can heal and release the narrative we’ve held onto.
The second layer of forgiveness is external:
focusing on our experience of gratitude for the lessons we learn along the way.
The third layer of forgiveness is internal and external:
beginning to cultivate compassion toward ourselves and those we are having difficult relationships with.
Forgiveness is a Choice
Forgiveness is making peace with the word no. When someone has crossed a boundary, the first emotion we will feel is anger, which is appropriate. The wisdom of anger is to protect, but if we hold onto the story of hurt and never allow ourselves to fully feel anger and other feelings associated with pain, we won’t be able to open to forgiveness. The practice of forgiveness can feel totally counterintuitive sometimes. We think we find strength in our anger. But holding onto anger or resentment actually limits how we show up in the present because we are still feuding over the story.
In conclusion, forgiveness is a choice, it has a decisional quality to it. We can begin the practice of forgiveness by starting with ourselves and seeing how the motivation to forgive or not forgive can create increased or diminished resilience in our relationships.
Bible references
Remember, God loves you. See you in my next article in good health and sound mind
Forgiveness means different things to different people. Generally, however, to me it involves a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. ... Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm.