What Should She Do?

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Avatar for Bisolammy
2 years ago

A friend is in a dilemma right now and I want you to please say something about this. It is a very serious issue that is making me furious. If it were to be me, I won't be in any form of dilemma because I know how to let go of things very fast. It may not be easy but I will make sure that I derive joy from somewhere else so that I will be able to do what I'm supposed to do. No matter what happens and no matter how much I love you, I can say goodbye to you at any time. I respect myself a lot. Once someone tells me that he doesn't want me again, I'll shift. Also, there are times when they won't tell you that they don't want you again. You can tell from their reactions. Action speaks louder than words. The moment when a man or a woman starts to act like you're not wanted around him or her, just shift. It means that you are not wanted. I've learned this since I was very little and it has helped me a lot.

So what happened in my friend's relationship? She has a boyfriend and they have been dating for over three years. The guy has a female best friend. You know how close best friends could be. I once had a male best friend too but I had to move away from him the moment he had a serious relationship. Inviting friends into your relationship is just like you trying to invite the whole world to know what is happening in your relationship. Now, the guy and his best friend are still close to the point that they have no regard for my friend who is the girlfriend. There's nothing that happens in the relationship that the guy won't tell the best friend. It's so annoying. There was a time that the guy had an accommodation issue. Instead of living with his girlfriend, he chose to live with his best friend.

Does that make sense? How do they want the girlfriend to feel? I've stopped complaining about the guy because whenever I ask my friend to leave the guy, she will feel reluctant to do so. What happened two days ago baffled me and that's why I'm writing the article. The female best friend came to the girlfriend's house. She came to make her hair around that area. Since I was less busy, I had to follow her because the girlfriend had already gone to her guy's place. She already planned to sleep at the guy's place so that the other lady will feel convenient if she wants to sleep over at our place. Suddenly, the friend said she already called the guy and that she was sleeping over at his place. I expected my friend to do something crazy but she didn't. It's normal but because I was very angry.

My friend didn't say a word and she let her go to her boyfriend's place. My friend had to help her with a money transfer at the salon. Yesterday, we called the lady to send back the money and she said that the guy will help her send it. My friend had to call her boyfriend to confirm if it is true. The guy admitted that he will send the money. That's about $10 and my friend previously asked the guy for money to make her hair and he said he will help her with $5. It means that the guy is choosing the other lady which he called his friend over my friend. I expected her to get angry for the whole day. After a few hours, the guy came to our place, and they continued their sweet love life. Does that make sense? She even had to cook for him. God knows that I was very angry.

How can one be so gullible? This lady is 25 years old and she's letting someone treat her less. Who does that? Her mother and other family members have advised her to leave this so-called guy but she's adamant. At times, you may not get beaten in a relationship but a lot of things there will make you depressed and it will affect your mental health. Whenever I advise her to leave, she will say all the Pastors and Imams she knows said that their future is bright together. Do those people even know what she's going through in the relationship?

I'm sad because she's stubborn. I had to call her cousin yesterday and explained to him. He said I should leave her because if you advise someone in a relationship, they wouldn't listen.

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Avatar for Bisolammy
2 years ago

Comments

Most relationships suffer because of friends, treating the opposite gender same like your girlfriend/boyfriend, sometimes if you want to complain they see you like an insecure person, I once pass through this, I have to tell the boy to choose between me or her..if not we end

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2 years ago

I feel they are taking the lady for a fool and she's not doing herself any justice because they are probably laughing at her when she's not there. I don't want to speculate but we know how these things can be but it's playing in my head that maybe...just maybe this guy and the bestie are sleeping together because he can't have a girlfriend and he would be more comfortable accommodating his bestie than his girlfriend.

The bestie has no issue but the boyfriend is the one to put the bestie in her place and as long as he's not doing that, the bestie would always grow wings. Your friend should go to where she's celebrated rather than where she is tolerated. He doesn't have money for his girlfriend but magically finds money for the bestie? This is not rocket science... The signs are clear and even if they are not doing anything together, the guy is not making it easier to think they are not.

She should walk...and only then will she know whether this guy really rates her or not because easily he would find comfort with the bestie and he won't even bother with her anymore. She needs to tell you her major reason why she doesn't want to leave. Maybe the bambam is so good and intense she doesn't want to miss it or she's getting a lot of financial support or any kind of support or maybe she's just helplessly in love. This is why I tell people to go into a relationship with their head and their heart. Na only heart your friend take enter...her head is not correct at all...sorry to say.

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2 years ago

You don't have to be sorry I know her head is not correct ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…

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2 years ago

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ good. She has been served.

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2 years ago

Tell her the demerits of open relationship because that's how her relationship looks like even though she thinks it isn't. after being officially a boyfriend and girlfriend. How can other person sleep at other place and the other one let it being in a relationship. It seems to me the girl is too much into that guy. Also when one doesn't accept your help, don't give them. And don't think much about her life.

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2 years ago

Ooh thanks for your advice I will limit the way I advice her

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2 years ago

That's the hardest part when your boyfriend has a bestfriend who acts more than a girlfriend. I hope your bestfriend will realize her worth someday and she should not listen to anyone, like other people telling him that they would have a brighter future and yet what she feel is otherwise, cause no one can guess that unless she, unless she can really see the bright future with her bf, so base on what the boyfriend treat her, can she really have a brighter future with him? When he can't even give up that friendship for his girlfriend who has been patient and faithful to him? Is that even love at all? Prioritizing his bestfriend than his girlfriend? Not now, but someday those questions would struck in the head of your friend, she deserves authenticity and a love that is willing to sacrifice everything for her.

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2 years ago

I hope she learns from this Thank you so much

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2 years ago

you did your part and you cannot do anything more it's now up to them now. If she comes huurt to you, remind her that you warned her before

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2 years ago

Exactly Thanks so much

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2 years ago

Soon your friend will realize the red flags in her relationship. I hope it's not too late for her to realize it.

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2 years ago

I hope so too

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2 years ago

Sometimes people need experience to learn. You friend is evidently stubborn but I pray make he no serve her breakfast Sha. Bestie stuff doesn't make sense to me at all, especially when you're in a relationship

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2 years ago

Same here oh My man no fit get one useless bestie๐Ÿ˜…

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2 years ago

Every person has different experience about friendship and boyfriend plus girlfriend relationships , but yes I agree that best friends are more close most of the time

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2 years ago

Theres a similar issues who get viral in our country. A girl married to an a man who had a girl best friend and it was happened that the man is too closed to fis best friend and it seems that they are more sweeter that the wife then they went to a point that the wife broke up her husband. It wa sad๐Ÿ˜ข

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2 years ago

That's a pathetic story

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2 years ago

Unfortunately people are stubborn with matters of the heart. I don't know how your friend can do this without making a fuss because I would. I think his boyfriend is being too disrespectful.

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2 years ago

The guy is too disrespectful and it annoys me

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2 years ago

I could understand. Even I am annoyed.

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2 years ago

She won't let go of her boyfriend who is clearly not interested in her; I hope she listens to your advice cause you seem to be right about her case.

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2 years ago

She's just too stubborn

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2 years ago

Your friend Is deeply in love and there is nothing one could say or do that will make her snap out of her fantasy. It is just annoying when I see young people allow themselves messed up all in the name of being in a relationship. You should never allow a guy abuse or disrespect you for crying out loud. There is something fishy going on between her guy and the best friend. I won't be surprise if he ends up marrying his best friend.

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2 years ago

I won't be surprised too but my friend does not want to listen

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2 years ago

You really need to talk her out of that kind of slow toxic annoying relationship

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2 years ago

Looks like your friend has never been serves breakfast before. All the signs are there but she is still sticking to him. Well, no amount of advice you give her will be enough. She needs to sit down and have a conversation with herself, otherwise any advice you give her will make her think you don't want her advice.

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2 years ago

Toor Make I no advice am again๐Ÿ˜…

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2 years ago