Interfering in a couple's dispute

Hello my dear friends. I trust you all had an amazing weekend. Just as we all know, weekends are for weddings and you had the opportunity of attending one today. It was quite obvious that the 👰 was already pregnant and I observed that the baby bump made her look quite awkward in the gown....Lol, I'm sorry for sounding silly.

Well, It really proved to be worth it as it helped me came up with an idea of today's article.

I strongly believe that issues regarding married folks are very sensitive and personal. Couples should always sort out their differences between themselves with little or no involvement of an outsider especially one who is not a member of the extended family.

Personally, I don't think I would ever interfere in a couple's row . It's not as if I wouldn't love to help a married sis in distress who needs my advice neither would I love to see a friend suffer in her matrimonial home. I just believe she understands her husband better than any other person including his parents and friends. In the absence of domestic violence or a deadly situation, she alone have the power to salvage her marriage, not her friend, parent or even pastor.

I won't deny that I always feel sorry when I see her in distress as she talks about her challenges even though I'd tactfully try to change topics because it makes me quite uncomfortable. I'd be very grateful if she never brought up her marital issues into our conversation.

But when she becomes adamant and would want to hear my opinion or seek my advice, I try to pick my words carefully and be as unbiased and unintentional as possible when discussing her partner's ills. I'd tell her that she will be included in my prayers after advicing her to talk to her parents or his parents about the matter. But I'd never impose my opinion on her marriage.

It's dangerous to favour one partner over the other in a marital disagreement you know. There isn't any marital problem that is entirely the fault of the man or woman. Apart from the words you have been told, you definitely don't know what had actually transpired between both since you are not living under thesame roof with them. Except you are called upon by both parties for a counseling session

I don't mean that it is totally wrong to help save a struggling marriage. Sometimes your assistance would help turn things around and be you will be greatly appreciated. But on the other hand, it might boomerang on you and you d be tag a bad advicer.

This is because I don't think any man or woman would be happy when their marital secrets are revealed to a third party . Especially when that outsider is not a member of the extended family. At the end, when she finally begins to see the light, your friend's partner might accuse you of giving his wife wrong ideas about him. You'd also be termed as the girl who is trying to tear the couples apart.

If he is the manipulative type, he might not find it difficult to convince his wife or girlfriend that you are "jealous "of their relationship especially when you are still single. Ofcourse the woman would finally agree after all the smooth talks and a quality time together.

You'd be used as an alibi to cover the partner's fault. You will be used to solve their marriage dispute and discarded ASAP. Your relationship between you and your friend could become strained since her partner had made her believe that you don't mean well for her.

In my parts of the world, whenever a woman returns to her parents house after a misunderstanding with her husband without him sending her packing, a mother might want to take side with her daughter. But a wiser father would immediately send her back to her husband's house the next day to go fix her marriage.

Afterall, she wasn't forced to marry him. She chose him herself and it was expected that she had known him so well and how to handle him before deciding to spend the rest of her life with him. The best a parent can do is to offer useful martial advise to their married children and correct them when they are wrong. But never should they interfere in their marriage. Ultimately, the success of a marriage lies in the hands of the couples and not with a third party.

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Thank you for staying with me ♥️