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Come Out Of Your Shell

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Written by   109
1 month ago
Topics: Reflections, Random

"YOU ARE LIKE A TURTLE THAT ALWAYS HIDING IN ITS SHELL EVERY TIME A PERSON PASSES BY. "

Image from Unsplash

That's what we often say to our eldest brother. But why compare him to a turtle? It's because he has those turtle-like traits except for the trait from a parable that the turtle in the story is slowly moving forward but never giving up. That's what lacking from him.

Well everybody is telling him that until now. I don't know what's going on in his mind that he wouldn't look for a job or build a business to sustain himself. Until now at the age of 24, he is still acting like a kid. Not particularly a kid that plays with toys and speaks like a toddler but that personality of a kid who is afraid to explore the world.

He does have friends when we are high school but when he graduated he didn't look for a job or proceed to college. He is just staying at home until now. Not literary, but well he tried for some simple jobs like printing, bookbinding, and photocopying in our relative's printing business but after a month or two, he resigned. He came back home and do nothing but play mobile games on his smartphone most of his time in the day, every day.

I can't understand his level of shyness. He is shy to buy in a store. He is shy to ask someone for directions. He is shy to speak for himself. He is shy to interact and chat with strangers. I came from that state when I'm in middle school but since that moment when I realized how hard life is, I tried so hard to come out of my shell and improve myself.

But in his case...

I don't want to say that he is hopeless but HE REALLY IS. We don't lack in reminding, suggesting, counseling, and encouraging him. He is totally deaf to whatever we say to him about improving himself. He turns a blind eye to every opportunity. He closed his mind for suggestions. No time for improvements, no space for opportunities, and no determination, no motivation for trying new adventures. He just keeps on playing mobile games that he can't even earn from those. Instead, he is just spending endlessly on it. Then when he doesn't have money anymore, he will turn to my mother and me. It's not that I'm criticizing him, I'm just worried for his future.

It's not all the time that he will just play games. What will he do when he reached his 40s or his retirement? Even if he is good to his niece and nephews, it's not a guarantee that they will take care of and support him in the future, right? In my opinion, whether your children will support you when you retire or not, you should have a secured retirement plan. Many opportunities have passed, others have even knocked on his door but he chooses to refuse to let it in.

Image from Unsplash

I have introduced him in so many ways online since he is always on his phone. I suggested that he could do live streaming since he is good at playing mobile games. I suggested that he can try e-loading. I suggested that he can do online selling and I can be his business partner. I even said that he can raise pigs and ducks if he doesn't want to online. Lastly, I tried pursuing him to join read.cash, and noise.cash because since I have earned a lot here without spending any cents. All replies that I have heard is a NO with a frown followed by silence, then he will ignore me. Sometimes when we do video calls I will remind him about it. He will just keep silent, look away, and frown.

I don't know what to do about him anymore. I have done what I can. Now it is up to him if he would come out of his shell and take a risk to try different things.


Do you also have a sibling that is like this? If you have any suggestions of what to do about him, please share them with me. His state is so pitiful to just let it be. He needed to change but I'm already out of ideas and ways to persuade him.

Sorry for that I have to speak about my frustrations here. Quarantine has limited my freedom to meet up with my real-life friends and loved ones.

Thanks for still reading this, anyway.

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Written by   109
1 month ago
Topics: Reflections, Random
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Comments

Oh..I have a brother also like that but when he came to the city he was able to improve his self because no one ever he got to depend with since our parents is in the province. I think it depends on the man himself if he is willing to change.. The environmental factors also can affect him, his way of thinking and his vision in life .

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1 month ago

I also believe that those factors can make us change. I have been also telling him that but he wouldn't listen and he is unwilling to change, so it's not my fault anymore if he can't have a good future.

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1 month ago

At first we are dependent on others but after a while we have to take the responsibility of others on our own shoulders. It is eternally true. After a certain time the family has to take responsibility. So we should build ourselves well.

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1 month ago

The problem is he can't conquer his fear so he can improve himself.

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1 month ago

I think the best we can do for such is individuals is to teach them in the way of mastery that they will understand and be able to overcome their mobid fear.

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1 month ago

The problem is he isn't willing, whatever I do and I say. Haha 😄

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1 month ago

I remember my classmate in Elem. He is afraid of riding tricycle, he was our valedictorian but because of fear he chooses to not going to school. Now he was the one who was riding it. Because of fear they loss opportunities. Tsk,

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1 month ago

Yeah, they wasted a lot of it. I'm getting tired of telling him suggestions and advice. It's up to him if he changed.

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1 month ago