STORY ONE:-- A working class friend of mine with 3 children advised me few years back not to help my husband with a peny in running the family. I asked her why? She replied me that, if u help men in running the family responsibilities, they will gain STRENGTH to marry another woman. But to my surprise, few months after that conversation, she called me that her husband wants to marry second wife tomorrow. And I asked her the following questions:
Question:- Have u started helping in the family responsibilities?
Answer::-- For where..!!!. God forbid.
Question::-- Has he gotten another better job?
Answer::-- For where..!!!. He was even demoted in his place of work last 3 months ago.
Question::-- Did u people quarrell?
Answer::-- Not even once for the past 4 months.
Question::-- Then why?
Answer::-- leave the idiot.
My fellow women... If ur husband wants to marry another wife, no matter his financial constraints, he will do it... And no matter ur security tactics or ur close marking,, if he mean to do it. He will.
STORY TWO::-- This happened to me (my self). Few years back my first husband {may his soul rest in peace} whom I got my first 3 kids with, once told me that,, "" he wants to help a poor widow with 2 kids by marrying her as a second wife. I changed completely since that day with him. When he noticed that he could not longer see my face again. He called me and told that he has dropped//cancelled the second wife issue. And since that day, I changed back to who I was.
As Allah SWA will show me small lesson in life, Exactly 2 weeks after,, he came back in the evening complaining of slight headache. I told him to lay down. It could be a stress. B4 two hours, I went to c how he was fairing. He was already dead. Leaving me (26years old) with 3 kids.
Few months after, our landlord ejected us from his house just bcos we could not afford to pay. We moved into my brother's house. The trouble of my brother's wife became so unbearable that, I decided to re-marry again. Apart from that, am still 26. I need a man in my life. But who will marry me??? A man who is not yet married? This is not 90% possible.
Every men who came to seek for my hand in marriage used to be prevented by their wife at home.
To cut the long story Short, another married man came again. I fell in love with him. But his wife at home became another obstacle. I cried day and night. I fasted during the day and pray at mid-night crying to Allah to change the mind of that woman.
Few weeks later, the man came and told me that, his wife asked him to bring me. I asked him. Has she agreed? He said No. I started crying again. But finally i summoned my courage to go and c her. Reaching there. The wife came out and huged me crying telling me that she has agreed. Not bcos she like it but bcos, she don't know what will happen to her tomorrow if she deny me.
I cried again regreting how I denied someone this golden opportunity.
WOMEN's FEAR ABOUT SECOND WIFE OF A THING
-- My husband will not be able to love me again as he used to. Or he will not love us equally 50-50.. The verse u read above should remove this worry from your mind.
-- I am going to loose my husband to another woman. Did u still remember the story of SAUDAT and prophet Muhammad SAW??? Even if u noticed he is going to cheat on you or he is cheating on u. Leave him to Allah. He will be resurrected paralysed in the day of judgment. And this means that he is not entering jannah.
The woman coming in will throw me out of the house with charms. If u sincerely asked Allah to give ur husband a good woman anytime he is ready to marry again. Allah SWA will not turn ur DU'A down. And if u are strong in faith,, Not only charms,, Wallahi not even JUJU will have a positive impact on u.
We are going to be sharing monthly resources with the woman coming in. Did u still remember the hadith i quoted in the beginning of this message??? Love for others what u love for Urself. Don't be too selfish... U, ur daughters, sisters could be a victim tomorrow.*
I can not share inheritance with any woman after the death of my husband. Who told u who will die last? Or who told u that inheritance last?
WHAT HAPPEN TO OUR CONSCIENCE AS WOMEN???*1.. Did we not feel for widows who lost their husbands at younger ages?
2.. Did we think about number of girls to boys given birth to everyday.
3.. Did we think about death rate between male and female? Men die more.
4.. Did we sometimes feel for women//ladies outside not yet married? And how they manage their sexual urge?
5.. Feeding and drinking is compulsory in life. The same thing sexual intercourse. Islamically,, Interms of sexual urge,, women take 95% while men take only 5%. Fear of Allah can never stop the feelings when it strikes. Just like fear of Allah can never stop one from feeling hungry.
Two lessons from the life of Prophet SAW and his wives
Your husband is not as Pius as prophet Muhammad SAW. We have read that, Nana Aisha (RA) narrated that "" there used to be months where they don't cook food in prophet Muhammad's house. They only survive on water and dates. Allah made this to prophet Muhammad so that we learn lesson from it. If Allah so wish,, HE can make the prophet Muhammad the most richest on earth.
So, my fellow women... Because your husband have wake up without money and food for the family, should not be seen as a problem.*
Whatever little challenges u may face OR facing in ur marriage,,, that should not push u to seek for divorce. Pick lessons from the story of SAUDAT and prophet Muhammad SAW
My fellow women... If ur husband wants to marry another wife, no matter his financial constraints, he will do it... And no matter ur security tactics or ur close marking,, if he mean to do it. He will.