Marriage is Not Do or Die
This is literally the third article I am starting this night, I had stopped the first halfway to start the second which I also stopped half way to start this now. I seem to be having an overload of what to write about today which wasn't the case yesterday. I had said in my previous article that I was feeling lazy physically and mentally. But today, I seem to be firing on all engines. LoL.
I believe one of the trending topics in the mouth of many people in my country is a recent news about a woman dying because of domestic violence. I am not really sure what happened there, but I have heard bits and pieces of the story over the last couple of days. What I do know is that a woman had died because of domestic violence. Also, this is not the first time said woman has been a victim of domestic violence in the same marriage.
Earlier today, as I was passing by a market I overheard two market traders talking about marriage, I heard one of them saying in our pidgin English;
"Once a man raises his hand on you in marriage, you shouldn't continue with that marriage"
Although I didn't stop to hear a good part of the conversation, I had suspected the news about the dead woman was the reason behind the conversation. I have always been an avid antagonist of domestic violence.
I wonder why a man who is supposed to be the protector of his family will be the one his family needs protection from. Why would a man raise his hands against a woman he supposedly 'loves' enough to go into marriage with? What is even more surprising is women who still stay in such abusive marriage.
I have seen people say that no matter the trials and challenges in a marriage, you should endure and try to overcome. I say to you that some 'challenges' are huge red flags and if ever a man you're married to ever raises his hands to physically abuse you, I say RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIFE! As it is those who had advised you to endure will be the first to reprimand you for staying.
I am not saying you abandon your marriage should any little problem arise. Truth is that a lot of people go into marriage for different reasons, one of which is for procreation. Procreation alone is not good enough reason to go into a marriage. There are other ways to have a progeny of your own.
Unfortunately, we live in a society where the responsibility of keeping a marriage whole falls to the wife. Shouldn't it be a collective effort of both the husband and the wife? It is common for a woman to be condemned if she leaves a man for whatever reason. The society doesn't care if your life was in danger, or about your happiness, you should stay "for better or worse".
I will always tell males and females alike that marriage is not compulsory, neither is it necessary to live a fulfilled life. It is just that society has over time painted marriage to be what it really isn't. Happiness is not guaranteed in marriage, unless of there is LOVE between the two people who are willing to fight for their love against all odds, while respecting each other too.
In conclusion, I am no marriage counselor, neither am I an expert. In fact, I have never been married neither does it seem likely that I will be marrying anytime soon. But what I can say is that I have been around long enough to learn a thing or two from other people's experience with marriage and the society at large. All these together with my personal perspective have created this article.
Times are changing and we are past the time where women have no choice but to endure the misery that comes with an abusive marriage. There is nothing more important than peace and happiness and a marriage should embody these things.
Thank You For Reading 🖤🖤