What do we gain from actually painting other people black?
When most of the time we do know that those people aren't what or who we claim or rumor them to be.
How do we take delight in ruining other people's life by simply not minding our businesses?
I have been a victim of avoiding someone simply because other people painted the person in question black.
It took me weeks and months to forgive the person who was directly involved and come to think of it that she wasn't even aware of the bitterness I was nurturing towards her because of her deceptiveness.
I was angry, I was hurt and I felt betrayed.

It must have been one of the reasons why I no more give a dim about what people say about a particular person and neither about what they say about me because the truth is that no matter how nice and good we are, we will always be the bad guy in someone's story.
They will always have their way of presenting us to society as the bad egg by deliberately painting us black.

Now back to my story, what happened and how it happened.
This is it!
Let's make this a little confidential, shall we? Okay pardon me but I don't want to reveal some information in this article for personal reasons.

My Story

Some years ago, My family and I relocated to a different place. And during our first two to three months there, some new families also relocated to that same area.
Among these families was a young girl of about my age who grew fond of me immediately she saw me.
I never noticed the advances she made to talk to me or even be friends with me and like my normal self, I didn't give a damn, which I believe is why most people think I have an attitude issue (well, that depends on what they wanna call it, it's not my problem anyway)

So I believe this girl tried all she could to communicate with me but I didn't give her that chance. Somehow, we ended up meeting ourselves on social media. I can't remember how but we just started talking there.
She started messaging and I started responding to her and then realized she was the new girl.

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We kept talking on social media for a while but still didn't talk to each other physically. I practically didn't still talk to her as I kept ignoring her (yes, I know that was bad but don't blame me😂 and don't even know why you shouldn't blame me lol)
After many attempts, she stopped me one day and said she wanted to speak with me.
Prior to this day, she had been telling me on social media that she wanted to become my friend and I asked her why? She told me she doesn't know that she just wanted to be my friend.
I didn't give her a response since then so I guess that's why she stopped me that day and I wasn't surprised when she asked me why I don't like talking to her and she also asked why I didn't want to be her friend.
I told her I never said that which is true. I only asked her why she wanted to be friends with me and she couldn't give me a valid reason so that was it.

I guess after that day, I thought everything would be just fine and we could at least start communicating slowly before we could say we are friends but little did I know that it was gonna be the end of us, no actually the end of her trying so hard to be friends with me.

Yes, some people came along, some which were my trusted friends especially one among many others.
Suddenly they started talking about the new girl and how she was snubby and all.
The made her look like a bad person with egos and attitude which wasn't really the case. The poor girl was only shy and reserved but how she got the courage to talk to me and want to be friends is what I can't comprehend. I was even made to understand after some years that initially when we started speaking on phone, she was not the one chatting with me but the sister (her sister told me this after some years) according to the sister, she wasn't ready to talk to me just yet so she asked her sister do the work of chatting me up (it was that serious😂 I even laughed over it when I found out)

So while still painting the young girl black and making her look like what she wasn't, I slowly drifted away from her.
I stopped talking to her and giving her long faces each time we came across each other.
Basically because of the things I was fed about her (not that she was a bad girl, they only had a problem with her attitude because she was reserved so they thought she was being proud)
Not too long after giving her attitudes, I noticed one of my friends, the closest one I mentioned started getting unnecessarily close to the new girl.
I didn't understand what was going on but I just kept watching without saying anything.
Perhaps the new girl decided to make friends with someone else since I didn't accept her hand of friendship and guess what? My close friend didn't decline.
She talked with the new girl, laugh, and play with her while I only watched from the sideline because I had already started hating what I was seeing.

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I was angry and hurt but I never said anything to my friend. I just let everything go the way it was and try to heal from all the hurt.
It took the grace of God to forgive my friend because I felt so betrayed.
This was the same girl she was bad-mouthing and ill-talking about.
The same girl she was now laughing with, playing with, and even taking pictures with.
Could things get any worst? Lol.
I felt like strangling the life out of her for making a fool out of me but I realize it didn't worth my anger and everything.

My issue wasn't with them becoming friends but rather it was about my close friend betraying me because I see it as a betrayal. It was about her making a fool out of me.

I was able to forgive her somehow without still telling her about it.
I moved on and before I knew it, I was already talking to the new girl again and we became friends again even if it may not be as close as she had initially wanted it. But I was glad to have been able to forgive my friend and also make friends again with the new girl.

Don't Paint Them Black

It's okay if you don't like a person because of either their character, attitude, or even appearance but it's really isn't okay to paint those people black simply because of how you feel about them.
You end up ruining another person's life for it.

If you want to be angry, jealous, and envious of someone, why not quietly do that alone and stop dragging others into your own mess?
If you think and feel it's so decent to hate people and speak ill of them, then please do it within your closest and stopping dragging others into it.
Stop creating unnecessary hatred in the heart of others only to satisfy yourself and your pathetic interest.
Stop painting people black as if you are any better than them.

Moral Lessons

• From my story, yes I agree I was a coward for backing out because of the circumstances around me and the rumors I was feeding my ears with.

Do not become a victim of this. If someone is telling you something bad about a person, don't just believe and jump to a conclusion, make your research.

• I was wrong for not speaking out my mind, but I still believe it wasn't really necessary and that it was okay.

Well you don't always have to keep everything all in because the more you try to suppress it the more whatever you are feeling inside keeps bubbling up (either hatred, anger, disgust, and more) and if care isn't taken, you explore one day 😂 and the result will be bad, trust me lol.

• What happened wouldn't have happened if I wasn't so keen on knowing why someone genuinely extended a hand of friendship

If someone harmlessly wants something from you, you can offer it if you want or if you have it and not make them feel bad about even trying or coming to you in the first place.

I could go on with more moral lessons from this experience but I would rather let my bleeding pen have it rest now
Thank you for stopping by to read from your girl.
I await and appreciate your contribution and feedback on this.

I wanna say thank you to all my wonderful sponsors and my faithful readers for always supporting my work. God bless you all real good.

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6 July 2021