Reconciliation

I was never my parent's favorite. No! I wasn't a child my dad was proud of, neither one my mom would like to tell people about.
I felt like an illegitimate child in my home, something more like an outcast.
I watched my parents shower all the love and care on my younger brother and my immediate sister.
I didn't understand why they did that or why I felt the way I was feeling but all I knew is that something wasn't right and their actions and body language weren't settling well with me either.

I knew I wasn't adopted, at least that is what I was told and this is what I grew up to know.
That my mom and dad are my real parents even when at some point I doubted and wanted to question that fact but what can I do? I was just another child treated like a stranger in her very home.
I wasn't denied anything whatsoever. My parents were rich, filthy rich and I lacked nothing in terms of material things or upkeep allowances.

I was given everything I ever asked for and if I was a spoilt brat, maybe I would have gotten wild and who knows what a mess I would have made of myself.
Yes, I had all these things so why was I still feeling that way and thinking I was incomplete.
They may have showered me with all these things but the love wasn't there, I didn't feel it, I didn't see it simply because it really wasn't there, to say the least.

My mom acted more like she was doing me some kind of favor taking care of me. It was as if she was repaying a debt by forcing everything on me without any iota of love and motherly attention and care.
Did I do anything wrong? Perhaps I might have caused my mom some kind of pain when I was younger or still a baby. I kept asking questions to which I never got answers.
Living in my house felt like a hard pill to swallow, I endured everything. I endured the pains and bitterness each time my parents focused all their attention on my siblings.
I was more like a maid dressed in fancy clothing than I was a daughter.

I cried myself each night to bed and still woke up with swollen eyes, but did my mom care? I am sure she didn't even notice them. All she did every time was to come check up if I needed anything for school when I am leaving and when I am coming back she did the same. The only time she really even gives me slight attention is when we have family outings and still with that, she was more concerned about my brother and sister than she was about me.

18 years old already but my parent's attitude towards me was still the same. I can't believe my thoughts failed me. I was hoping as I grew up and became older, that they would for once show me the same love and care they had for my siblings but it seemed that as I grew up, it became even worse.
18 years and my parents were already thinking of me living on my own, getting a job, or perhaps bringing someone to seek for their blessings.
It was as if they couldn't wait to sell me off.

I still didn't understand why my parents could be so hard on me or why they acted and behaved the way they did.
I was tired of questioning myself.
I was tired of the dramas.
I was tired of my own home.
I told my parents one day that I wanted to move out and live my life. I knew they wouldn't stop me, and that they had all it takes to support me at that time while I was away

This was my thought, I never knew or could imagine that it was the beginning of hardship for me.
After my first few months of moving out of my parent's house, things became terrible. I literally did myself worse and it was one of the hardest decisions I have ever taken in my life. I never meant for it to turn sour but I also didn't think it would or can get so bad, at least not to the point it did. Well, I didn't envision it, and though I regretted it, I think it also became the reason I am who I see myself to be today.

Six months passed without any news from my parents, no calls, no visits, and they also stopped sending me money for upkeep and welfare. They literally cut all ties with me and I was left all alone like a lost orphan. I had nowhere to go, I only had the apartment they gave me somewhere outside the states.

2 years more and there was still nothing from them but by then I had already moved on with my life.
It became harder along the way but I thank God for Benedict, a friend I believe God sent to me when my parents decided to cut all ties with me and abandoned me. She was there for me in all those toughest times.
She became the shoulder I longed for to cry on and lay on whenever life threw shits at my face.
Benedict had been a good friend to me and I just couldn't repay her kindness in any way.

After 5 years of being away from my parents, news got to me that I was needed at home because my dad had just gotten into a fatal accident.
I couldn't believe my ears, five good years I heard nothing from them and only for me to finally receive news from them yet a bad one.
I did all I could to settle the discussion with my boss since I had started working already. I needed to travel back home to see my parents and know what was going on.
When I got home, I learned they had relocated, so I investigated and found their new location.
I met my two siblings at home, they told me mom was in the hospital with dad and they were worried about his life. I asked for the hospital name and location and I headed there right away.

When I arrive at the hospital, my mom sighted me from afar and ran to hug me, I don't know how she could still recognize me but I shove her off and refused the hug.
I walked to where my dad laid fighting to live. When he managed to open his eyes and speak, all he could say was "I am sorry".
I didn't understand why he was apologizing but I guessed it had something to do with how they treated me.

I didn't hate my parents even when I wanted to at some point. I couldn't say anything when my dad said those words and confirmed his ill-treatment towards me and asked for my forgiveness.
The only thing I could do at that time was to let the tears flow. I held his hands and told him I had forgiven him that it was all in the past.

I told him he wasn't going to lay in the hospital bed for long because he will be fine in no time.
And that is exactly what happened, after a few weeks, my dad was already released from the hospital.
When we got home, everyone celebrated and thanked God for my father's life and then they fully welcomed me back home.

The End!

Still your baby girl ;)

To my faithful readers and wonderful sponsors, my heart goes out to you guys. Thank you for making my journey here a fun-filled and exciting one. Thanks for trusting and supporting my work too. I pray that God bless you all real good :)

22 July 2021

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