She pulled the blanket and covered herself up. She rolled from side to side trying to get back to sleep but sleep was never her friend. She would just keep watching her kids asleep, one rolled and remove his blanket.The next thing was her daughter spreads her arm to feel for her father beside her but finds none. She seems to pull her blanket so her mother would do it for her. Following was the babe at the bed beside her cries and she would feed her with her breast.. Ahh, mix emotions flooding everytime she got to feed her baby. The feeling she missed with her two older kids for they were formula fed.
Does her body had an alarm clock, waking same hour of the night? No matter how she wanted to get back to sleep, it never will come near her. Grab her mobile phone and check the time, it's almost an hour past midnight which indicates she had been awake for 2hours.
Those heavy footsteps and mumbling sounds coming closer seems to pound her heart in anxiety...Her heartbeat trying to catch each other. Her body gone cold and tremble,yet she manages to carry her kids from their sleeping matress and laid them on the bed beside her..
Yes,they are poor. Their humble abode of wood and galvanized iron. A bedroom and a kitchen. No living room to welcome a visitor and no bedroom for the children.They sleep with foldable mattress (which her eldest folds during the day) at bedroom floor with their father. While she with the baby at the bed.
Their poverty would not matter as she only longed a happy,healthy and good family.. She asked herself how could they be not enough.Regrets have no room for her, she only wants what is good for them. Does her husband, her partner does't feel that way,too?
She covered her ears,pretend to be asleep and not hear the noisy creature lying on the bedroom floor. Worst scenario happen when that creature who just got home at dawn and would bring out words untolerable. But man, she got tired.No words longer seem to matter to her. Yet pins and needles are hitting her heart, but it makes a big punch to her chest it makes her forget to breathe. She only keeps quiet as to not awaken her angels, they are growing old and she doesn't want them to witness a quarell.
The hours passed and its another day. Though she lack sleep, still needs to get up.To prepare a meal for the family and do her house chores. Sometimes her mind with so much questions,she keeps on thinking why it had to be this way.And, there are times she seems afloat in the air and not a single thought would cross her mind.
She got no time to look in the mirror. Too preoccupied, perhaps.One time she did, she did know what to feel. Rough and unpleasant facial tone, the bags just below her eyes added some pound with dark circles around. She brushed her hair with her hand and notice a golden strand that would soon turn white. She looked 10 years older.
Is it worth it for her to stay? She was all left in despair.
ps. all photos from pixabay
@z_graeden hit like, comment and subscribe
This sad reality is one of the reasons why I'm afraid to get into relationship. I'd rather stay single for a veeeeery long time than to settle for less and ends up getting married to some nobody without any dreams of getting out of poverty, taking care of the children and looking too old for my age and having an inconsiderate husband 😑 But I still admire momshies out there who can stay with a toxic person for the sake of their children.