Plights of an Eccentric

A person could be idealistic. But it doesn’t mean that that idealistic person is given to be diligent. Good if he or she is diligent but think about an idealistic someone who is lazy. It’s like having a voice without a sound. Pure of ideals but lack the will to act them out.

I know of someone who is very idealistic but lacks execution, is lazy, and always fudgeling. She pretends to work when in actuality she isn’t. I’m just not sure how she manages to finish everything when nearing a deadline. How lucky could she be… enjoying the many days then finishing up just before the deadline is in. So pure adrenaline work, is that it?

Actually, that person above seems to be me. But I won’t be talking about that tonight.

I was very bold to peek into the window of a small store. I looked into the inside of the small store but I wasn’t able to copy what was currently inside. I kept talking and insisting on buying something. Then a guy, maybe in his early twenties, came outside to inform me that that room is no longer a store but a boarding house. And yes, a boarding house for males. My gosh! What if someone was changing clothes during that time when I peeked? Geez…

The guy redirected me to the new store and it dawned on me that the store owners moved to their permanent residence. They were using now their renovated house as their sari-sari store. I apologized to the barakos then went on to the right place to buy. To save face a little, and to inject a little humor, I bellowed to the guys, “Sorry, sinisilipan ko na pala kayo. Muntik na yun ah. Pasensiya na po talaga!” And they were laughing.

Then I told Manang, the old lady storeowner, “You should put karatula in there that the store was moved here.” Manang was just smiling at me but said no more. Then I realized, Tanga ka ba? Kitang-kita naman na may bagong tindahan. Ikaw lang ata ang walang eyes. Don’t you have eyes that see or look or gaze? Then I went on for my monologue. Hindi nga kasi nakasanayan na ng mga tao doon kaya kailangan din nila mainform ahead of time that the store has been moved! Then I retorted, napahiya ka lang eh! Okay, fine. Haha.

Well, all these perfections that I wanted are so hard to realize. I wanted to look cool and a perfect teacher but I have all these awkward moments and laughable actions.

At the onset of many terms in school, I always wanted to be serious and just pleasant when entering the classroom, but I break my own resolutions at the very start. “Hey yow!!!” I would say immediately. Or if not, I would smile a lot and be too kind. I can’t set it right! I wanted them to take my every word so I should be serious and I shouldn’t be joking at all. At least for the first few days. Just so I could show my authority. But then… that’s how my class days have been so far.

We would even play around the classroom especially if I am handling non-Math subjects. I will tell them sometimes, let’s just make kuwentuhan. Never mind the lesson. It will catch-up to us. Seriously?!!! I would scold myself and promise to act better the next day. But I fail every new day. There were days when students would comment that I was very boring, but most of the time, they say my class is fun. Oh yeah! I always knew! Math is fun! Nope, not! Not ever… They just say that the class is fun because of the extra things I do but not really about Math. They hate Math most of the time. So I was always challenged to make it engaging. But then again, the best I can do is to help them be responsible for their own learning. There is no use insisting what I want if they won’t follow it in the end. So I think that it’s better to let them appreciate the subject for themselves. Math is very useful in everyday life. If you fail to see its essence, then you’re doomed. Period. If you’re interested, then learn from me. if not, just give the word and I will pass you. No more chenes chenes. I don’t care. You’ll cheat your way out anyway and let me just pass you. But of course, they’re left ashamed of themselves so they have no choice but to study math hahahaha. But sorry, I’m not the best teacher in Math. I could make bawi with one on one but the flow of lesson when I discuss in front is sometimes very bad. So I just make it up by attending to them one by one. If at all possible. If the time is up, then the time is up. You continue on your own when you go home. You can always ask it again next time if we have time to spare. However trivial the question is, I will still accommodate it.

Ha…! Don’t expect too much from me. I give this mental note to every student I am about to meet. Unfortunately, things have changed ever since this pandemic. I am still finding my way on how to do my kemerlu with this students. They’re definitely fun to interact with. The problem is, I can’t get their full attention during synchronous classes because there will always be that someone who will make an excuse. I also can’t message them one by one because I have other things to do. So I am hoping that one silly idea would pop out that would solve my problem.

I don’t get along with prim and proper teachers because they’ll just get offended and irritated by my style but some teachers find me a good companion and I do appreciate those teachers who see the good in an eccentric teacher like me. But then again, eccentric or prim and proper, students must come first in mind always. Even though I hate my job sometimes but the idea of touching lives while trying to live life is the best thing that a teacher can do.

Again, don’t expect too much. I just do what I do and when I don’t, I’m sorry.