My dad is home but he said nothing. He never asks how I am doing. He hits me on command. I think blue spots and bruises are fine with him. I don't know if his father did hit him but I don't think so. I never met my grandfather although he saw me. He saw me as a baby and wondered if I am treated well. I know because my grandmother told me. He came to her into the kitchen worried. Perhaps he is the only one who ever worried. It's not of much help since he is dead for years.
As I stayed with my granny we visited him. He is at the graveyard and my granny scrubs the big marble stone on the grave. He lies there underneath. The stone is his blanket. My granny takes care of him and new flowers. There's a tap nearby. There isn't much to do for me. I just watched her and waited till she was ready and we drove back home in her car.
I never talk to my grandfather. I don't know why. I think it is because he needs his peace. He was in the army and fought. He was captured too by the Japanese and in a camp. It was not one where people go camping. They say Japanese people are cruel and you cannot trust them. They love to torture people. My mother loves to torture too. She smiles, always smiles if she sees someone in pain. Perhaps my grandfather saw the same in her? I don't know if he kept an eye on her or me. He didn't live long, didn't get old. He was young and the war started that's it. He rarely was home because of the army, the Japanese camp, and the army again. My grandmother was alone with the children and alone in the camp.
Perhaps it is a good thing my grandfather died and didn't see me, doesn't see me now. It wouldn't have made him happy and who knows he would cry and crying hurts especially if you are wounded. That's why I don't cry. It causes me more pain. I do not laugh either because that causes pain too. One day it will be all over, I hope soon because I do not like my life. Perhaps when it is over I can talk to my grandfather or we can just lay in peace and sleep forever.
The man at the foot end of my bed... can he be my granddad?
Saturday
September 19, 2020
422 words
A kid's diary
Angry mom
Gymnastic rings
Shopping
Nice one