@wakeupkitty
more from that month
Be creative
*Is parenting difficult? I always say with creativity you can solve each issue. Do we need to pass an exam to be a good parent? In some countries, you say people do. I doubt it will help. If it comes to parenting all you need is some common sense, a dose of humor, self-esteem, and creativity.* **We can discuss what makes one a good parent.** As a parent, I can say I did a great job or I sucked at it. In the end, my children are the ones who can label me as a lousy, bad, average, or great parent. They can hate me for being a single mom, look down on me for being poor, be mad at me because I threw their stuff away when they didn't clean up their room or because they had to mow the lawn but that's their decision. You can do a child well but they can not see it, you can do them bad but it can still be loyal and defend you even if your deeds and intentions weren't good and it suffers for its entire life. **I know myself**. I know I cannot be a fulltime mother and I need more, way more as just being someone's mom. It does *not* feel good, enough for me to do a child's laundry, wipe tears, bottoms, noses, help with homework, and show up at school to talk to mean teachers. I need a life for me and if I am unhappy I can not make my children happy. I know myself and did and do plenty of things I don't like. I visited attraction parks, made homework, drove my children up and down, and showed up here, there and where ever it's needed but it's not for me. To me, it's a waste of time, a time I spend mainly waiting till it's my turn. **I never felt insecure about being a parent.** I was a teenager and not willing to give my child away for adoption. I sacrificed a lot. Family, friends, and happiness, and more. It was my own choice and I took responsibility for it (command 14). I didn't give in to the "mistake" idea (command 17) the family and society tried to talk me into. I did not ask help (command 12) or the advice of the parents I was surrounded by. People who claimed to know better but not cared about their own children or preferred to be blind to their sadness, feelings, and worries. My own parents to start with. People who never cared. **I am creative although my folks hated creativity.** They looked down on nearly every profession while I believe we all, each person and profession, are a part of the system, the circle of life. I raised my children to be true to themselves (command 10) and invest in their skills (command 4) and to crave what is best for them (command 20). I do not want them to be like me. Forget about their own needs, to be punished for being "selfish". I know they are not and being more selfish is something they need in this world where they are easily abused and manipulated. I taught them to think out of the box (command 13) which means creative thinking. A way of thinking which benefitted me during my years of parenting and the hard days. Although plenty of parents had a great childhood and great parents I had not. It didn't stop me from being a parent, it didn't make me feel insecure because a bad example is an example too. If you know what you do *not* want to be like, do not want or like, what makes you feel miserable, it's enough knowledge to not fall into the same behavior and do the opposite.
@Morningstar wrote a post good enough to provide you with 21 topics. This article is based on these topics. https://read.cash/@Morningstar/21-things-that-manifest-growth-eb6c3c62#comment-a75bda26 **Be creative**, my title = command 5 on his list. **I wrote about:** Ponder! https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/ponder-48c88f3e Command 18 - Community freewriting https://read.cash/c/freewriting-c99e and Allow yourself mistakes https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/allow-yourself-mistakes-f2ab80b9 Command 17 - Community self-motivation https://read.cash/c/self-motivation-freewriting-ca66
#kittywu #parenting #beyourself
20 comments
If I myself is not happy from inside, I cannot make others happy. So, it is ok to make you happy first. Then your children. They will also be happy seeing your smiling face.
It is and we all should be aware of that. Make yourself happy, do not expect others to do so. Once you feel good it will reflect on your environment. 💕
Yep!! 🥰🥰
I actually think highly of Bad Examples; Everyone teaches you how to act, but you only learn how not to yourself. It can sometimes get hard, but I admire your resolve to shoulder responsibility.
I guess I do what I need to do. Why should I blame or punish my children for what they didn't ask for? My aunt once said it was my own choice to be molested by my parents because I choose to be born with them. Who says something like that to a child? I guess only teachers who do not like to take any responsibility if it comes to child abuse do. Bad examples, bad memories are the warnings we should cherish and pay attention to. If you ignore them your life will not improve and the same misery will happen to you over and over again. "A soft healer creates stinking wounds" is an expression here. 💕
The expression encapsulates it all. Your aunt's statement was crude and harsh.
That's what I think and thought at that the but I doubt she is capable to understand why you do not say things like that to a young child. It was some kind of belief she had but it's not very comforting.
I keep on saying this: Only recently did parents actually find out that what you say to your children matters!
There's still a huge difference between finding out and caring about it. 🤔
True on all counts.
No one can compare to the true love given by a mother to her children. She will give up everything just for her children. She shoulder a huge responsibility to support the future of the children. I'm proud of you ❤️
I find it hard to say if it's true love or responsibility. To be honest I think it's a responsibility. I am not the kind of mother who says "my child will never do such a thing", I know them, know when they lie, cheat, and I will not support them if they turn out to be a rapist or serial killer. I would kick their arse and take my hands off them. My love and support don't go that far and they know it.
It is not easy to train children as a single parent. It requires a lot of sacrifice, it requires a lot of energy and it requires a lot of strength
I do not train my children. Training is what you do with animals in the circus. I try to raise them. They have responsibilities and with it freedoms and the right to have a voice if it comes to decisions. We talk and discuss all subjects and this works best for all of us.
A child can't be the one and only judge in every situation. Some think to owe the world and get easily offended when they don't get that one birthday present, aren't allowed to have ice cream for breakfast, or to go out party with a dubious group of friends. Your efforts as a mother won't be considered by these types. Small children are selfish and many teenagers even moreso. When I was a preteen, I remember feeling hot with rage whenever I had to do a chore; behaviour I can't relate to now that I'm an adult. But some adults keep those "teenage hormones" and are unable to look back to their past and tell themselves "my parent(s) weren't in the wrong there".
" Although plenty of parents had a great childhood and great parents I had not. It didn't stop me from being a parent, it didn't make me feel insecure because a bad example is an example too. If you know what you do not want to be like, do not want or like, what makes you feel miserable, it's enough knowledge to not fall into the same behavior and do the opposite. " I salute you, even tho you have not Experienced a good memory of childhood you still to be opposite of what you Experienced.
Wow. Indeed, we have our own creativity that know one can possess. Only us. I am still single thats why I cant relate to parenting and such but as I understand the article, you dont have to mind what others think of you, you just have to do your job properly and let the one you serve tell you if youre doing good or great. The greatness is within you already.dont be drag by some criticism that wont define you😊 Good morning dear😊 im a new subscriber by the way. Hope you subscribe me also❤
> @Morningstar wrote a post good enough to provide you with 21 topics. This article is based on these topics. Oh so that's where the 'commands' come from. I was confused at first.
Yes, that is where those - what I call - commands come from. You can use them for articles too if you like. For sure all 21 fit into each community. You can write endlessly.
sure is! :)