One cookie

Grandpa died. Now I have no grandfather left. Both died. One did long ago. He was black just like me. His heart stopped and that was it. I don't know why his heart stopped. I think it was broke in some way. My other grandfather his heart stopped too but I don't know who did it. Perhaps it was because of what lived in his bones? It gave him pain. If pain is everywhere you die. I have pain too but it hurts more to know grandpa was in pain.

I go to school and my parents leave. I can walk to school alone. It's not far and I can do it, I always go alone. My parents don't take me to school neither do the other parents take their children. We all go by ourselves.
I am happy the bully is not outside and I can pass by his house. I see his mother behind the window. I am not sure what she is looking at. The teacher asked me if I want to tell you something. All children looked at me but there's nothing to tell. I shook my head and she asked someone else. There's always someone who likes to share something but not me. My life is different from theirs, it is not as nice and I don't think I should talk about it. It's never a good idea to talk about home, our family. My parents always say what happens in our house is private and we are not allowed to talk about it. I am not sure what that means. They talk about many people if we have breakfast, dinner, or the evening meal but I am not allowed to speak. I am not sure if they can talk about my mother's clients or the family. What they talk about is not kind and if it is about the teachers it family my parents are always mad.

Louis played with me during the break. He was wearing his rollerskates again. He has blond curly hair and looks like an angle. I wonder why he has hair like that. His mom's hair is long and black. I think she is very pretty just like Francoise's mom. I wish mine looked like theirs or at least behaved like theirs. The school was over at 12:15 and I didn't know what to do. My parents are gone and there's no new housekeeper yet. They said they are looking for one and it's in the newspaper. I don't know if people like to work for them. Many left only Elly stayed longer but she left too.

I waited in the garden for longer with the dogs and looked in the shed. It has a roof again and I can't tell the difference. The car is gone but my dad's scooter is there.
Finally, I decided to go inside and wait in the kitchen for my parents to come home. I didn't dare to watch tv or play outside because they might get angry if they see I am not home. I took one cookie and ate it outside. I don't think my mother counts the cookies but if she sees one crumb she'll be angry with me and says the house is one big mess.

It's late if they come back home. I am in my bed and hear the car, the front door, and their voices. My mother is angry again and I wait. I wait if she will come to my room, shout at me and pull me at my hair out of bed. I wait and hope my dad will say something that will calm her down.
The phone rings and she leaves. I hear the front door, the car start, and the sound of the engine moving away. Now I can sleep, I hope I can sleep for at least a few hours till she is back home.



Wednesday
September 23, 2020

A kid's diary

Grandpa died
https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/grandpa-died-e1b9ed68

Breathlessness
https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/breathlessness-66ebb3f0

Torture (422 words)
https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/torture-cb6a664b

#kittywu #diary #childhood