It's easier to feel you are hurt as to notice you hurt someone.
Is it possible to avoid hurting someone else, "stepping on toes"? It is questionable but if you love to tiptoe, watch every step you take, weight each word you say, and are able to show the right expression at the right moment to the right person you might succeed.
In reality, this is an impossible task. In the long term, not one single person can succeed without harming himself (mentally) or... being disliked.
It will eat you if you are forced to fake feelings, besides no one likes a faker.
Tiptoeing, agreeing, compromising might sound like the easiest way out but it's not good for your wellbeing. The day will come you can no longer do it.
It's hard to deal with the truth, with criticism but liars are not liked either and annoying are those nulls who always agree.
For a bully it is fun trying out the boundaries, see how far he can push his victim but even a sick person loses interest. It's simple without action, there's no reaction.
Compromising can be good at times. It's not if this means you have to give up on yourself. No job, friendship, or love is worth this sacrifice. Be aware of who you are. Your likes and dislikes. The expression birds of a feather flock together say enough. Find your own kind, those who feel you, those who you can understand. It will safe you from unexpected, complicated situations.
There is no way to avoid hurting someone.
Our world expanded thanks to books, television, traveling, the internet, and media. We meet different cultures and contacts are easily made on the internet but if it comes to it we will never know somebody for real. Not our partner, our child, or that new friend living far away. Although, a good observer, a sensitive person feels, sees, hears, and knows more than those who pass by like a butterfly.
Culture, norms, values, life experiences, the way we are raised, personal circumstances in combination with character, age, own expectations and view made us the individual who we are at this very moment. It can be easy-going, adopting, respectful, or easily hurt and offended, at times aggressive.
Rarely people speak the same language.
Even in our native language, it's hard to understand each other. Men and women speak a different language just like adults and children, academics, and farmers. They all express themselves in a different way.
The main reason why we feel hurt is always personal. We can not communicate with everyone in the same way, our brain is not capable to understand what is not familiar to us. It's because it's us who give meaning to a word and associated it with something personal (a lesson learned or bad experience for example).
Can we avoid to feel hurt?
No, we can not. Feelings are normal and without feelings, life will not be the same. This we feel close with will hurt us most. The only thing to be done is questioning your feelings. Take them seriously and ask yourself "Why do I feel what I feel? Is it true what I believe, heard, read? Should I ask what is meant or isn't it worth my time and energy?"
A wise thing to do is practicing in not seeing everything as a personal attack.
It's not always about you, your gender, sexual preferences, the color of your skin, the country where you are born or raised, your terrible childhood, the fact you are abused. A healthy dose of self-esteem and self-knowledge are needed to be aware there's no reason to start a fight out of nothing and see and hear things that do not exist. The world is not as black and white as the mind believes and being aware of tunnelvision will make life way easier.
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Thing is when we are being too careful, we will step on a lot of toes. The advice however is that we shouldn’t Barbour the intentions of