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Hurt

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Avatar for wakeupkitty
Written by   828
1 year ago


It's easier to feel you are hurt as to notice you hurt someone.
Is it possible to avoid hurting someone else, "stepping on toes"? It is questionable but if you love to tiptoe, watch every step you take, weight each word you say, and are able to show the right expression at the right moment to the right person you might succeed.
In reality, this is an impossible task. In the long term, not one single person can succeed without harming himself (mentally) or... being disliked.


It will eat you if you are forced to fake feelings, besides no one likes a faker.
Tiptoeing, agreeing, compromising might sound like the easiest way out but it's not good for your wellbeing. The day will come you can no longer do it.

It's hard to deal with the truth, with criticism but liars are not liked either and annoying are those nulls who always agree.

For a bully it is fun trying out the boundaries, see how far he can push his victim but even a sick person loses interest. It's simple without action, there's no reaction.

Compromising can be good at times. It's not if this means you have to give up on yourself. No job, friendship, or love is worth this sacrifice. Be aware of who you are. Your likes and dislikes. The expression birds of a feather flock together say enough. Find your own kind, those who feel you, those who you can understand. It will safe you from unexpected, complicated situations.


There is no way to avoid hurting someone.
Our world expanded thanks to books, television, traveling, the internet, and media. We meet different cultures and contacts are easily made on the internet but if it comes to it we will never know somebody for real. Not our partner, our child, or that new friend living far away. Although, a good observer, a sensitive person feels, sees, hears, and knows more than those who pass by like a butterfly.
Culture, norms, values, life experiences, the way we are raised, personal circumstances in combination with character, age, own expectations and view made us the individual who we are at this very moment. It can be easy-going, adopting, respectful, or easily hurt and offended, at times aggressive.

Rarely people speak the same language.
Even in our native language, it's hard to understand each other. Men and women speak a different language just like adults and children, academics, and farmers. They all express themselves in a different way.
The main reason why we feel hurt is always personal. We can not communicate with everyone in the same way, our brain is not capable to understand what is not familiar to us. It's because it's us who give meaning to a word and associated it with something personal (a lesson learned or bad experience for example).


Can we avoid to feel hurt?
No, we can not. Feelings are normal and without feelings, life will not be the same. This we feel close with will hurt us most. The only thing to be done is questioning your feelings. Take them seriously and ask yourself "Why do I feel what I feel? Is it true what I believe, heard, read? Should I ask what is meant or isn't it worth my time and energy?"

A wise thing to do is practicing in not seeing everything as a personal attack.

It's not always about you, your gender, sexual preferences, the color of your skin, the country where you are born or raised, your terrible childhood, the fact you are abused. A healthy dose of self-esteem and self-knowledge are needed to be aware there's no reason to start a fight out of nothing and see and hear things that do not exist. The world is not as black and white as the mind believes and being aware of tunnelvision will make life way easier.



Psychology is the study of the soul. If you know why we act the way we do your article is welcome in the community Psychology
https://read.cash/c/psychology-c98b. Please, read the rules.

#kittywu #psychology #hurt




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Avatar for wakeupkitty
Written by   828
1 year ago
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Comments

Thing is when we are being too careful, we will step on a lot of toes. The advice however is that we shouldn’t Barbour the intentions of

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1 year ago

This is the major reason I do general apologies. I may not know if I hurt someone mistakenly through my words it actions so since they don't want to tell me or approach me regarding that issues I apologize generally on my whatsapp status. I know it's not much but it's a step closer to inner peace.

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1 year ago

If you suffer from not having inner peace it might help you. My question is: if you always apologize what is the value of you, your words, your opinion? Is you apology worth anything if you always apologize? Isn't it more done out of a habit or fear?

Thanks for reading and adding a good comment to this topic. 👍💕

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1 year ago

Well I won't call it always but whenever someone is angry at me I know. I'm a very sensitive person so I tend to pay attention to all part of my life. If I know fully that this person is angry at me, I'll approach the person and ask what's up but when he/she behaves anyhow or rudely I ignore and then I know it's not on me because I tried my best and the other person can do whatsoever pleases him cause I would even flinch (I no longer care). If I can't pinpoint the person or it'll be hard to approach I simply post that general stuff on my status. I believe that if I try to make peace and the person at the other end ignores or something of that sort, I'm no longer at fault cause I tried 🤷🏽‍♀️. So no, it's not out of habit or fear, it's out of personal feelings and character.

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1 year ago

Very nice article . I have read every word of it. You describe the whole thing in a straight and clear way. I like your writing a lot . Keep writing. 🥰

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1 year ago

Thank you for reading and commenting. I am not sure if everything written is easy to understand but I am happy to hear it is for you. 💕

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1 year ago

I have been forcing my whole life to avoid hurting others and I believe you. It is impossible and it does give me a stressful daily life by doing so.

No matter how hard I tried, it will somehow turns out differently than I expected. I stop doing that and started expressing my feelings the way it should be. It felt much nicer.

Those who can understand are little but they are the one that made my day. It is enough because I do not need the whole world. More is better but a few are treasures.

Compromising is only good when it is done both ways.

Some people choose to jump into conclusion, and some choose not to explain. I bet if they choose differently, the gs might be a little bit better.

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1 year ago

In today's age, I think avoiding hurting people's feelings and meeting with the consequences of that has become impossible.

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1 year ago

Its really hard to deal with reality!

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1 year ago

Pain💔.... It causing bleeding that only you the individual can feel

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1 year ago

It does but you can also overreact, hear things that have never been said. It's good to verify with yourself and the one spoken.

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1 year ago

You're right

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1 year ago

This article conveys some quite important thoughts. One thing you write here appears to me as especially important, namely not to take everything as a personal attack. You also stress the importance of analysing one's own reactions and what caused them. Unfortunately most people don't spend even a moment on self-reflection and they will remain ignorant about things like these - which, in turn, makes life quite much more difficult to handle.

$ 0.00
1 year ago