When I Grow Up, Can I Do Whatever I Want?
Have you once wished to get older quickly when you were young? Do you have your hopes and dreams that life will be better for you when you're older?
Then Poof! You're old!
And poof! Surprised!
We all have our own stories and life experiences. And there are some that stick to our minds. Like when I was little, I always question God why my Mama and Papa keep fighting all the time. Why does my Papa keep drinking? And why my mother never shuts up, day and night. Like why they don't just go separate ways?
And so I say to myself, I hope I grow up quickly and so I can get out of our house, make money and spend it. And as time pass by so quick I realized that life isn't easy as I thought.
I realized that waiting for my father to bring us food to eat is easier than me going to work and buying my own food.
That is easier to live in my parent's house for free than me getting a room to rent because that's all I can afford.
That getting old is being responsible for your own self.
And being old enough is to be independent.
That growing up means my parents will no longer hold my hands while walking and pick me up if I fall.
That I have to walk alone sometimes. That I have to walk the path I chose. And whether I fall or get bruised I have to get up and help myself heal. It's now all about me surviving alone.
I used to cry for the things that my parents are not able to give me. I used to get jealous of other kids having things I wish I have. Then there's me now, still envying people and crying over things I don't get or can't have. But this time not because of my parents but because of me.
But okay, there's no regret now. Though I still regret wishing on the genie that I grow up fast. I wish I was prepared. I wish I knew that life isn't just sweet and that making money means working from your sweat.
And there, I got my own family. And yes I know now why couples fight. And yes I know now how hard life is. And I know now that it's not easy. For some days I also want to drink. And many days I can't shut up my mouth. And yes the reason why you have to stick with each other despite all the misunderstood and fights.
And yes I am in my parents' shoes now. And now I understand why they are always tired and why money is important. Money doesn't grow in trees, now I understand.
Now I know that I can grow up but I will not be able to do whatever I want. Not all. That things isn't free. And some things are illegal. That you can't just dream and do nothing. And that even when you're old you still have to do as you are told.
So if you're still young, let me give you a piece of advice. Enjoy the moment, don't rush growing up. Enjoy the sweets and the band-aids. If you have young kids make the most of their time. As time goes by so quick, next time the little baby in your arms will start walking and next time it will be at the altar.
Tia ask me yesterday,
"Mommy, can I do whatever I want when I grow up?"
Of course, my love is all I said. I let life surprise her and I want her to chase her dreams and fly high.
But for now, I must prepare my kid's wings. I shall give them all the love, kisses and hugs. And let them know that Mommy is forever by their side.
Don't grow up too fast.
❤❤❤
Beautifully written. I do remember wishing to grow up. Now I am wishing to grow young if that were ever possible. Adulting can be so exhausting. But it does make us appreciate the hardships our parents have endured for us.