Recently, there has been a sharp increase in behavioral disorders called "narcissism" in children and youth, although it is gaining momentum, so it is also seen in the older generations of mature people. The next question is, where, how and when did this trend start? Children are understandably nervous when they are not in the center of attention of their environment and imagine a situation where everyone in one family has a desire to be the main one and only his wishes are fulfilled, etc.… Chaos in short.
Only half a century ago, families had several generations. So the children had an example in front of them that they had to wait in line until their time came. Now, families consist of parents and children, the elderly are separate households and are far from their heirs in order to have an impact on the way of upbringing and everything that one life does. And so in an indirect way we came to a phenomenon called "narcissus".
Average "daffodils", although they do not have some socially recognized quality, treat themselves as the "center of the world", and they have acquired and confirmed such a belief in the families from which they come. As new generations mature, the number of people with narcissistic personality traits increases. It is important to understand how these people function in interpersonal relationships, because knowledge about it contributes to others not becoming victims of narcissists.
It is a common belief that a narcissistic person is in love with himself. This is often the case, but does not explain the true nature of narcissism.
The emergence of insensitivity
If we start from the name of the mythical hero Narcissus, it should be pronounced Narcissus, because it has the same root as the word "narcosis". In translation, his name is Insensitive. In the ancient myth, the Insensitive is a young man of extraordinary beauty because of which many fall in love with him. Although many suffer because he does not return their love, their sufferings are funny to him and they simply entertain him. Due to the lack of compassion for those who suffer because of him, the lack of empathy, playing with their feelings, which led to several suicides, the gods decided to punish the Insensitive. The punishment was for him to fall in love with someone with whom he would not be able to reunite. It referred to his own reflection on the surface of the pond, because if the Insensitive tried to hug that beautiful young man he saw on the surface of the water, the character would disappear. Then the Insensitive felt the great pain of impossible or unrequited love, because of which he pierced his heart with a dagger.
This ancient story of the Insensitive is very important in order to see what his sin is and what his punishment is. Sin is his arrogance towards others, his lack of elementary love for another person: his lack of compassion, pity and empathy for others, and the punishment is self-love as impossible love.
Modern daffodils in everyday life are reminiscent of the ancient Insensitive. Egocentric, selfish, convinced that they are worth more than other people towards whom they take the position that others are worth only as long as they are useful to them and as long as they fulfill their desires. They are sometimes highly socially intelligent, manipulative, hidden behind a mask of caring for others. Despite that, there is always a moment when they show that they don't really care about others they "love". In an emotional sense, a narcissistic person lives in a monodrama in which other people are just scenes that testify to her greatness.
Narcissism has always been associated with people who have a trait that other people value highly or that causes admiration. Just as the Insensitive was extraordinarily beautiful, narcissists can be people of exceptional talent, creativity, intelligence, achievement. To them, some of these qualities were "proof" of exceptional value in relation to ordinary mortals.
Lately, we occasionally meet a new type of narcissistic person, and that is people who do not have a pronounced quality that would make others admire or adore them. Despite that, they have all the characteristics of a narcissist: a very high opinion of themselves; belief that they are worth more than others; selfishness; reduced ability to emotionally attach to others and the like. They are dominant in relationships, they expect others to please them, while they themselves are not ready to do something for others that would impair their comfort.
How did these "average daffodils" come into being, who, although they do not have some socially recognized quality, treat themselves as the "center of the world"?
The answer to this question is that they keep the image of themselves and others that they have adopted and confirmed in the families they come from. If someone was the center of his parents' world until he was 14, and if he received such treatment in the family even later, it is likely that he will keep that attitude later in life.
Many children and young people who were "princes" and "princesses" of their parents, in a collision with a group of peers during puberty and adolescence, change their image of themselves. But there are also those to whom parents continue to interpret that conflicts with peers or professors are actually just a reaction of someone else's envy and jealousy to the "exceptionality" of their child. Terrible. So, with too much parental protection, a pure surrogate of the "narcissistic" future parent is created, as well as everything else that concerns the profile of a mature man. This is a very interesting period for psychology because some phenomena such as "narcissism" have been popularized and imposed as a template in developmental pedagogy. A wide range of disorders used to be now accepted as a normal format.
Love without discipline An
educational style that includes worshiping the child, giving love, without discipline, creates adult "princes" and "princesses" who cannot create functional marriages and who, in the end, are often left alone. The problem that was not solved in early childhood by gaining independence and self-confidence is transmitted later and is reflected in the business environment. Such persons are a problem in themselves because they have an ambitious attitude towards themselves and create a very bad working atmosphere where destruction is reflected in all fields. Just to make them stand out and meet only their needs. Teamwork is almost impossible with such people precisely because of the loss of empathy and lack of respect for the environment. They are the same towards their parents, grandparents, relatives - unfortunately also towards their children.
Although constantly "flooded" with parental love, narcissists do not understand it as a parental sacrifice, but as a standard that naturally belongs to them. That is why they have neither gratitude nor love for their parents, which overwhelms elderly parents with disappointment.
Much can be learned about the treatment and principles of how to treat such people from the work of Erich Fromm, where the scientist claims that the core of aggression lies in a harmless narcissist. Today, we even notice that many politicians, public figures, actors, singers, in one word, the stage is colored with all colors and forms of behavior according to the rules set by an average narcissist. There is no end to that variety. Here is an example. we have selfies as a narcissus product… mirrors are already outdated: D
The photos used in this article are taken from the site www.google.com
Sources> Erich Fromm- The Art of Loving, Lectures by Professor Žarko Trebješanin, FASPER, Belgrade, 2000. g.
Since this mobile technology has advanced and daffodil painting is more and more :)