That Feeling

I have a friend who always seems happy, smiling to all people she knows. She always makes people laugh with her jokes and can give sympathy to anyone who were having a hard time. She was so genuine, I must say. But one day when I’m on my way home, walking at the hallway inside the university, I saw her walking alone and she seems sad and lonely. I did not call her, I was just following her. She sits on a bench and I stopped walking midways, and that time, I saw her cry for the first time. She was crying endlessly. I walked towards her and patted her shoulder, she was surprised when she saw me, and maybe she did not expect me to be there. I sit next to her and did not talk, I just feel like she just needs someone who will comfort her, to make her feel that she is not alone. Honestly, I really wonder back then why she was always smiling and seems like did not have a problem but I noticed that she is everyone’s friend but do not have a close friend who walks with her on her way home or a close friend who she always together with. So, maybe she did not have that someone who can listen to her problems and rants in life.

When she stops crying, she started to share her problems with me. She told me that she had a boyfriend for five years. Her boyfriend cheated on her and had a lot of flirts but she does not want to let him go as they already did “that” thing. She said that she was afraid and that she loves him that much. I told her that she deserves someone better and although I know that Filipino culture is known to be conservative and men wants their partner to be virgin, I still told her that she deserves better and she must know her worth. It does not define her as a person, if someone would not accept that fact then it was not love but lust. I know that marriage is sacred but the matter already occurs, we cannot change that. I am also against to premarital sex but she is my friend and I must help her not judge her. It was five years, she defended. I know that you were together for so long but you know he cheated on you and besides do not regret for that five years because you might regret more if you will be together for more years, I explained to her.

I know that it was hard to let go to the person who were so attached with us… I knew that feeling but if it is already toxic and not healthy to our mental health and to our whole well-being, we must let go that person. We must love ourselves first, right? Do not let someone destroy you. Do not let someone make you feel worthless. After I said that, I hugged her tight and said that it will be fine.

It was a difficult feeling for me to give comfort to someone. I am not the type of person who gives advices and sympathy to someone or even to my friends, I was always get misinterpreted so I am usually quiet in that kind of situation. But at that moment, I really felt that she needed someone who can listen and give advice to her. And I was grateful that I helped my friend.

I have three reasons or motivations why I helped that person. First, because of the fact that she is my friend and second because she needed my help. I give sympathy to someone who is important to me; I want to take care of them as long as I can. I want to listen to their rants; I want to give my advices, I want to make them feel that I am just here for them when they needed me. It was a great feeling to help someone even in smallest things that I can offer. But I think the real motivation that I am helping a person is because I love them as a human being, just the way they are, even they are fragile or strong, who can handle themselves. Because doing good things makes us as a person isn’t?