That Feeling
I have a friend who always seems happy, smiling to all people she knows. She always makes people laugh with her jokes and can give sympathy to anyone who were having a hard time. She was so genuine, I must say. But one day when I’m on my way home, walking at the hallway inside the university, I saw her walking alone and she seems sad and lonely. I did not call her, I was just following her. She sits on a bench and I stopped walking midways, and that time, I saw her cry for the first time. She was crying endlessly. I walked towards her and patted her shoulder, she was surprised when she saw me, and maybe she did not expect me to be there. I sit next to her and did not talk, I just feel like she just needs someone who will comfort her, to make her feel that she is not alone. Honestly, I really wonder back then why she was always smiling and seems like did not have a problem but I noticed that she is everyone’s friend but do not have a close friend who walks with her on her way home or a close friend who she always together with. So, maybe she did not have that someone who can listen to her problems and rants in life.
When she stops crying, she started to share her problems with me. She told me that she had a boyfriend for five years. Her boyfriend cheated on her and had a lot of flirts but she does not want to let him go as they already did “that” thing. She said that she was afraid and that she loves him that much. I told her that she deserves someone better and although I know that Filipino culture is known to be conservative and men wants their partner to be virgin, I still told her that she deserves better and she must know her worth. It does not define her as a person, if someone would not accept that fact then it was not love but lust. I know that marriage is sacred but the matter already occurs, we cannot change that. I am also against to premarital sex but she is my friend and I must help her not judge her. It was five years, she defended. I know that you were together for so long but you know he cheated on you and besides do not regret for that five years because you might regret more if you will be together for more years, I explained to her.
I know that it was hard to let go to the person who were so attached with us… I knew that feeling but if it is already toxic and not healthy to our mental health and to our whole well-being, we must let go that person. We must love ourselves first, right? Do not let someone destroy you. Do not let someone make you feel worthless. After I said that, I hugged her tight and said that it will be fine.
It was a difficult feeling for me to give comfort to someone. I am not the type of person who gives advices and sympathy to someone or even to my friends, I was always get misinterpreted so I am usually quiet in that kind of situation. But at that moment, I really felt that she needed someone who can listen and give advice to her. And I was grateful that I helped my friend.
I have three reasons or motivations why I helped that person. First, because of the fact that she is my friend and second because she needed my help. I give sympathy to someone who is important to me; I want to take care of them as long as I can. I want to listen to their rants; I want to give my advices, I want to make them feel that I am just here for them when they needed me. It was a great feeling to help someone even in smallest things that I can offer. But I think the real motivation that I am helping a person is because I love them as a human being, just the way they are, even they are fragile or strong, who can handle themselves. Because doing good things makes us as a person isn’t?
My simple success
Last school year, I achieved my goal which was to be a part of “Dean’s List”. Honestly, I’ve been studying hard and put a lot of effort to achieve this goal. I experienced not to sleep for 24 hours and sometimes not eating the right amount of calories that I needed. It drained me out but I must say that it was all worth it because I learned many things and I made my whole family happy. It was my way to give back my parents’ hard work as they let me study to a high-quality school.
Next, I earned for at least two thousand a month because of writing articles and blogs. My friend offered me this kind of job and at first, I was just enjoying writing any articles that I want and my random blogs of what happened to my life or giving tips to my readers how to overcome with their stress. I also used ‘that application’ to give health education so that I can help people/client in any ways. So now, I already have my own savings.
And then, my third success was I learned how to manage my time with my studies and doing our household chores. My siblings and I have our own schedules of who will cook for the breakfast, lunch, or dinner and we are doing our own laundries just like we are inside a boarding house, kidding. And we help each other out to clean our house and if one of us are not free because of some errands or most of the time because of our studies that will be an exception. But our real purpose why we are doing this is because we do not want our parents to do all those stuffs as they are not young anymore. We want to take care of them as a daughter/son should, right?
My fourth success that I can consider is I finished my chemistry class through online learning in YouTube last year. I was not in the field of Science before so I need to adjust and what I did was studying a subject that I think will benefit me in my course and absolutely, in the future. Chemistry had a wide scope including General, Inorganic and Organic Chemistry, just like on my goal to become included in the “Dean’s List”, I need to put a lot of effort, focus and study hard to just not learn these subjects but to understand the whole concepts of Chemistry. It was fun though, learning and converting system units, naming chemical compounds and enhancing your critical skills thinking when the chemicals mixed what will be the result.
Lastly, my fifth success is during this pandemic, I realized that having a quality time with my family is important. It is great to have random talks with them and to feel that someone was there for me, ready to listen and so I feel the comfort. Before the pandemic, our family was not that real close because we barely see each other for a day as we spend most of our day in schools. And having lot of stressors outside our home was too much to handle but of course, I always pray to God to give me strength and guide me all the time. And now, beside the love of God, I can also feel the love and care of my family towards me and this is the most important success that I can consider a family with communication and understanding towards each other.
Best and Worst Stage of my Life
Among the life stages, I must say that late adolescence is my best stage. Our family was in the middle class and I have five siblings which tell that we are a big family. As they say, more people, more demands which means more expenses because of the needs and wants. I considered our financial status for the course that I will take and so I took a course that have less expense to my family besides at that time I do not have a dream job yet. At the middle of pandemic, I heard a lot of siren of ambulance, and I wonder how many people got hospitalized in a day, it makes me sad that it urge me to do something but of course, I am just an ordinary student with no degree nor license. One night, I cannot sleep because of the thought that wants me to take a step forward, I watched news in our television and families were crying because their loved ones died and cannot see even a single part of a limb. “Okay, I want to help them” I said to myself but how? That night I prayed to God to guide me through my way and tells me which is the best and not for me. And there is this day when my father told us that he got a ******* pesos in his bank account because he obtained a commission for being a land agent. To make the story short, he said to me that I should take a nursing course if that is what I want which made me surprised because I only said it to my second sister and obviously, you-know-who said my covert right? At this journey, I got afraid and feared to approached my professors and block mates but one of my professor said this, “If you want to be a nurse someday, you should learn how to communicate because nurses do always communicate with many kinds of patients and co-health workers every day” and because of that, it suddenly washed all those afraid noises inside my head and started to raise hand virtually and recite actively to the class. I gained group of friends although we did not see each other yet but because of the groupings, we video call a lot. And now, I felt alive, my dopamine levels is at its peak when I do a task about nursing. However, I still got a long way to go but I know to myself that I will enjoy every ups and downs of it.
On the other hand, Early Adolescence is my worst stage. I got bullied when I was twelve; there were these people whom approached me at my first week of class of freshman year in Junior High, they are all females and daughters of some wealthy family. Actually, at first, I got cultured shocked because of the new environment where people at my age that time was so vulgar of their words. Those people thought that I am also rich like them though they are the ones who made a story right in their cerebrum. These girls always asked me to hangout with them and so I thought that they just want to be my friends. We hangout numerous times in a café (don’t get me wrong I have enough allowance to spend, they just have three times more money than I have), at the computer shop, or eat at a fast-food chain. I was happy with them not until there was this one girl who lived near at my house and tells my fake friends that I lived in such a small house and that I am not rich like them. It was a typical scenario where I can read in my novels on my shelves. But never thought that it actually happens in real life. Right after the girl told them that my family is not as rich as them, they got me out on their group, such a lame, isn’t? They started to make my teenage days miserable; I experienced verbal abuse and even made a story to my teacher that I even did not do. The result? I had been called to the guidance office but fortunately the Guidance Counselor did not call my parents nor suspend me but rather helped to arranged pile of papers.
On my eighth-grade, they were still my classmates which I hope not, and guess what? They evolved like a Pokemon, kidding aside, but their bullying tactics got improved. They used physical abuse, pulled my hair or pushed my shoulders when they were passing by. My old me was sensitive and can easily cry by that. In my ninth, I met my best friend, and finally felt that someone protects me, she was from another section and transferred by our section because she got high grades. The bully actions was lessened because of that but on tenth grade my best friend was transferred again to the section two and my trauma came back again. It was this year when someone wants to court me and I refused just because it was not in my mind yet, to have an attached relationship with someone. Never did I know that those fake humans have a crush on that guy, I never cared though. On the next day, the leader of their group slapped me on my right cheek, not to mention, that I just start to step my right foot on the door of our room. All of my classmates were laughing at me and I did not even flinched although my cheek actually hurts. I am not giving them the satisfaction that they want, I said. I walked to my chair and in my luck, our teacher enters the room.
I was a victim of bullying. I experienced to be bullied with different worst actions but it did not stop me to achieve what I want in life. I decided to transfer on different school at my Senior High and found a bunch of good people; I started to fix myself again. I got good grades there and was the ranked 2 of all the strands. I learned that not all of the people that I will meet and encounter in the future are like them. Not all the people were as low as them. They said their “sorry” to me this past two months, and I just smiled and told them that I already forgive them. One thing that I learned in nursing was, every people have their different coping stages in their life and maybe they just experienced a problem inside their home or they had an inside battle for themselves. I get that, I understand that. We are just humans after all, making mistakes otherwise can make wise decisions in life.
Being at the best and worst stage of my life shaped me as a better person I am right now. There are instances where I still feel the pressure but there are also instances where I know how to overcome it because of the past experiences such as failure, mistakes and disappointments. Nonetheless, I will not stop to grow and make my own path. The stressors from my worst stage and the motivations from my best stage did both help me and will continue to help me to move forward and start a new journey in my life.
Family's Role: sexuality, sexual identity, sexual orientation
Our family is committed to God, me and my siblings are raise to become religious persons. My mother is a daughter of a Minister in Iglesia Ni Cristo while my father is a convert member from Roman Catholic. We believed that **marriage is sacred** and engaging in sexual activities should be only done when you are married. It is a sin for us to have a live-in partner or get involve in premarital sex. In addition, our family is knowledgeable about sexuality. My siblings and I are educated about reproductive health in our different schools but it did not stop our curiosities about these things especially me, as I am taking Nursing course, we are open minded when it comes to this topic. We love to read and research about our health and most of the time I am sharing my knowledge to provide my family a health education so they will know what they will do in such circumstances. Although, our parents did not have a family planning, they discipline and lecture us that studying is important to have a good job for our future and so all of us became studious. When I was in my adolescent age (18 yrs. old), I asked my parents if I could have a boyfriend since our culture consider this as the “legal age”, and they told me that I should have a stable job first and find an employed and stable man to marry. They do not forbid us to have a relationship with someone but they just want us to have a good life. In fact, my parents were allowing us to have a relationship when we reach the age of 23. But I think that time, I do not have a stable job yet and still studying so maybe that is still not my right time.
In our religion, gender/sexual identity have only two kinds: female and male and having other genders considered as a sin. In our family, we do not have other genders other than male and female but we are aware with other genders/sexual identities and respect them. I once asked this to my parents and siblings if they had an instance where they ask themselves if they are a male or female and then they said that they did not had that kind of idea because they are sensibly aware of their own gender. I had that kind of question when I was at my 13 years of age because I was curious about myself if I am a female or not. I loved wearing men clothes that time because it feels comfortable for me. I also loved doing a man’s job rather than helping with the household chores. I was following my dad with his work like when my dad goes to the farm and will use the hand tractor then I will put my feet in the mud to think that I was helping him but actually not and the next thing I knew, my dad yells at me and tells me to wash my feet so I ended up watching him inside the “kubo” until he finishes his work. Or helping my dad with fixing our electric fan. And sometimes, lifting a pail with water or digging the soil using shovel for the manure of our domestic animals. Lastly, when I was a kid I loved playing toy cars than holding a Barbie doll the whole time. Then, at the age of 13, I asked myself why do I love doing man’s stuff than female’s stuff? But when I experienced to have a crush at a guy, the distracting thoughts started to fade away and started to act and dress myself as a girl.
Furthermore, sexual orientation has become a trending topic in our country. And as a Gen Z, me and my siblings are aware and understand the different types of sexual orientation. But I must say, that my parents were not that knowledgeable about sexual orientation although they did watched it on the television, MMK, they do not know what are different types of sexual orientation or they do not know how to name it. As I said, our family culture does not have other genders other than male and female. So, we are not tolerating the idea of having sexual intercourse with the same sex (Homosexual), as well as for bisexual, and with those people who had sex change operations (Transgender).
Apparently, our family’s understanding about sexuality, sexual identity and sexual orientation were influenced by our religion and beliefs in God, education, and parenting style/guidance. And because of these factors, our family is well-disciplined and aware about sexuality, sexual identity and sexual orientation.
**NOTE: this is based on my family's perception about sexuality, sexual identity and sexual orientation, I'm not discriminating anyone as we respect any genders.**
Adolescent Sexuality
Adolescent’s sexuality occurs when an individual starts experiencing the “puberty stage” where female and male begins to notice their changes on their body, as well as their psychological thoughts. They started to fantasized intimate image, ideas or thoughts and have the urge to experience it to their opposite or same sex. But what really influences the adolescent sexuality?
Today’s generation is said to be the “peak of uncontrollable adolescents”, maybe because of the new culture that society set standards of. There are instances where in one’s family have serious conflict for the reason that the parent and child have different perceptions. In my own perception, child’s learning starts inside their home and as the child grows they will be exposing outside their comfort zone, meet new peers and learn new things. When they become an adolescent, they will start to build a barrier between them and their parents, they may feel more conscious about themselves and not open to talk about what happened to their day unlike when they were kids, eager to seek for attention. Sometimes, in one’s family, it is not normal to verbalize the word “sex”, they are avoiding the topic because it sounds awkward for them therefore there are not enough knowledge regarding this matter. Other adolescents who are actively engaged to sexual activities will say the excuse, “My parents made it at an early age so do I”, but truthfully it is because she/he just simply wanted to do it.
There are some instances where an adolescent needs attention and support from their parents but their parents could not give it to them because they work abroad or they are broken family. Even though that adolescent lives with his/her grandparents or to other relatives, it can be a distress for that adolescent because he/she wants the care and love of her parents. The adolescent have no guide from his/her parents about adolescent sexuality then, there is a possibility that the adolescent will become interested with sex and look for sex partner/s as he/she is in the stage of curiosity.
As we encounter new people in our lives, they may influence us of what we do. For example, a teenage boy who was in the age of thirteen that time learned to watch “porn” because of the influenced of his friends. And so, that drives him to have premarital sex with someone then right after that, at an early age, he became a father, without knowing the responsibility of becoming a parent. Can he provide the needs of his child and partner? Where can he get money for their needs? From his parents? The child will suffer if that happens.
The culture has a big role to influence adolescent sexuality. The rural areas have more cases of early pregnancy because of the culture and the people in the community. Adolescent in these areas stop studying because of poverty. Their parents believed that education is not really important and force their child to help them in the farm. Resulting to have a negative mindset that because they are poor, they will stop studying and just be contented on what they have. People who have no ambitions in life chose to be stuck on their journey. For instance, my female friend/classmate did not continue to go to college and told me that it is because her parents cannot provide her an allowance anymore for her education and later on she got pregnant to her boyfriend for about two years. Instead of saving money for her education, she decided to live in with her boyfriend. Because of insufficient knowledge about adolescent sexuality and family planning, they tend to be more active in sexual activities. Unlike in the urban areas, who are more knowledgeable about adolescent sexuality. They are more aware of the diseases that they can get if they will have unprotected sex or multiple sexual partners and the consequences that they will face if they will engage to it at the wrong time. Education and career is essential to them and their attention with studying or having a job may prevent them to have sex with someone although not all the time.
A big factor that can influence adolescent sexuality is because an adolescent is unknowledgeable about the reproductive health education. Lack of knowledge about this matter can be a disadvantage to everyone. Many adolescents are suffering with STDs and AIDS because of unprotected sex and having multiple sexual partners.
Adolescent sexuality is a normal stage that an individual may experience but engaging with this at an early age is not a good idea. We need to consider first our financial status, if we are already stable or capable to raise a child. We need to promote family planning to help our economy and reduce poverty. Especially, to practice using contraceptives to prevent diseases but as we are a conservative country and marriage is sacred for us, it is better if we will just have an abstinence or not to engage in sexual activity or premarital sex.
The confidence we once had
What if I told you that school can make us fool? The toxic culture saying, "Go to school, get a high grades, graduate, then have a professional job". When I was a kid, the teachers were asking "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Then I will say, "I want to be a lawyer" because that's what my parents wanted me to be and as a 5 year-old kid, everything that my mom or dad tells me I will obey. But at that time, what I actually want is to just be a kid. Playing, talking, experience weird things, and just want love and attention.
Then I'm now at my 20 years of age thinking what I really wanted to do and what I really wanted to be. We live in the world where people believe becoming an engineer, doctor, teacher, lawyer, businessman and other professional jobs can earn you lots of dollars, which is true... but how 'bout what we really want? What about our talents and other skills? Can those talents and skills cannot lead us to wealth? What about those kids who are not academically intelligent? What if they excel at different stuffs? Like dancing, singing, writing, sketching, protography or even creating things with those what you called "useless crafts?"
This afternoon, my sister suddenly asked me, "What do you want to do in the future? Are you just going, ya' know, to be in a hospital all your life? Saving people and stuffs? Studying different diseases all night?" Then I answered, "Yeah, I guess? I don't know I'm not sure either".
I said that because I cannot vision what future aheads me. There's a lot of possibilities. Thinking that I'm just a mere 2nd year college student and I might not pass the board exam or I might not graduate. Hopes I will tho' hahah. But what I'm actually saying is, there are numerous expectations we have in ourselves but when we did not achieve those expectations, we'll just end up hurting ourselves with failures and some of us might be stuck and do not know how to start over again. We are afraid to set expectations to ourselves because we doubt ourselves that we can do it.
Our brain changes over time. It changes whenever we see some incredible stuffs or whenever we heard different opinions from others or maybe now, that you're reading this, I might change your mind...
So, let's go back to our topic. What if I told you that school can make us fool? Educating children to get a high-paid salary professional jobs. Waking up in the morning, go to the office and type to computer all day, then sign bunch of papers. You did not even have a proper lunch. I am not saying that you should not pursue those kind of jobs if you really want it. What I want to say is explore life, write an article like what I'm doing right now, audition to a show if you want to sing or dance or act, paint your art in canvas or maybe sketch your mom, or take pictures while you travel. Do what you love, do what you really want. Pursue your life. And as what they always say, "Live your life to the fullest".
I asked my 4 year-old cousin the same question my teacher asked me when I was a kid, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Then he said, "I want to be an astronaut", he said that with glee in his eyes like he was already imagining that he is an astronaut. My cousin is not going to school yet due to pandemic. And I asked his mom and dad if they already ask the same question or did they told him to become like this or to become like that. And they replied, "No".
You see, when that kid grow up and graduated with the state of innocence, he will probably change his mind immediately to another dream or job he wants because he might say that "Nah, that's too impossible for me to become an astronaut. They are too genius and I have a straight C's in my grades". School with bunch of bully kids around, some teachers who will mocked you and pull you down with your dreams, neighbors who do the talks or worse even your family thinks that you cannot do it. That sucks.
They can limit our capabilities because we already surrender that confidence we once had... They forbid a bird who wants to swim.
And to answer my sister question, I just don't want to be a nurse, honestly. I mean, I want to be a registered nurse in the future but I have lot of things that I want to do... Like now, when I entered read.cash, it opens my mind of how cryptocurrency works although I do not have that enough knowledge but I'm in the process of still learning, I want to invest in the world of crypto but I'm still saving and giving my best to earn. I also want to publish a book someday maybe about medical stuffs or how life works, something like that. I also want to be a doctor or invent a cure for cancer. I also want to travel the world while riding a helicopter. I want to go to Nepal and climb the Mt. Everest. I want to be someone that no one expects me that I will become. It's always a matter of choice. And maybe tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, I'll discover things again and have a new dream.
***"Do not be afraid if you set an impossible goal to yourself, be afraid if you limit yourself to set that impossible goal"*** - **sweetnurse**
What parents can learn from their child
"Papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako", or in English, "You're just on your way there, while I'm already on my way back", the old Filipino saying which the older Filipino people tells the younger ones that they still have a lot to experience in life that they already had experienced. Or which simply means, "Been there, done that".
May I ask, when was the last time someone told you that you're being childish? Was it the time you cried because there's no food left on the table? Was it the time you spoil yourself buying what you want instead of what you need? Or was it the time you blurted out what you really felt to your parents but they ended up telling you that you are being disrespectful to them?
They say maturity means doing good decisions or judgement with wisdom. Is age associated with maturity? Like how Bill and Melinda Gates have given $45.5 billion to charitable causes,
Or when the Filipino Actress Angel Locsin raises Php 10.9 Million cash donations to provide tents for isolation of those who got infected by Covid-19 for hundred hospitals in Luzon?
Or when Dominic Mercado, a 12-year old kid, who lives in New Jersey decided to collect pasta and sauce to give out for the local food kitchen in his hometown?
You see, **maturity is not determined by one's age.**
Adults are somehow dominating the new generations and not giving them a chance to prove their worth. There are always there to shut your mouth, telling you what is wrong and right but how 'bout our rights? We have our own decisions because it is **OUR** own life not theirs.
This morning, my mother and I had fought over about the dirty dishes. She just came home yesterday night from my Grandparents' house because she is taking care of them when it is weekends and I heard her say that she's really tired so I told her to sleep early and take a rest. And this early morning, I decided to do the chores for her to rest but she got mad at me when she saw that I washed the spoon and fork first rather than the glassware. I was surprised when she suddenly shouts at me and of course, it hurts my feelings, it was not my intention to get her stress... I considered her feelings and tell to myself that maybe she's just tired and not in the mood. But you know I am too sensitive and can easily cried over simple matters. I asked myself, was I wrong? What did I do wrong? Was it necessary for her to shout at me like that over simple things? She can just tell me calmly the instructions and I will do that...
But you know the feeling when someone shouts at you, you will shout at them too? Yeah, that was what I did. I shouted at her and told her that when me and my siblings were only in the house we were peaceful and everything were organized and balance. No one shouts at you and no one will get mad at simple things. I told her that. My emotions were raging, and I think everyone does experienced this.
I did not shout at her just because I washed the spoon first rather than the glassware, I shouted at her because it is too much. She gets mad when I wear shorts even just inside the house, she gets mad when I want to try to cook, she gets mad at everything I do and that makes me sick. I want to try to help her but she is pushing me away. She is not like this before... she used to be my best friend whom I can always count on, whom I can tell my funny stories, or who is my crush every week or who listens to my rants about school stuffs. She seems far away and I didn't like that...
***I want someone who can tell me that I'm going somewhere... that I can be successful too like them, not someone who will tell me that I'm going nowhere if I will be disrespecful to them***.
**For the parents out there**, who are reading this article. Try to understand what your child wants to say. Try to understand what their intentions are first, before you get mad and tell hurtful words. Try to tell them nicely what their wrongs are, for us to understand what you meant.
I know that you, parents, wants the good for us but do not limit your child to grow, just guide them. Instead of telling them "Oh my gosh! Don't drive anymore! I will never let you until you get your driver's license!", try to tell them, "Don't drive until you do not know how to drive. Because you might killed someone, hurt yourself, or get into an accident. You can drive when you get your driver's license but still be careful". The reason why parents and child cannot understand each other is the child tells them what they want to say while their parents are not explaining calmly why do they not allow their child to do that. And the result? You just made a gap. And that gap will be bigger and bigger if you will not change your act.
So I think, I'll end this article now. 'Coz I need to hug my mom and tell her that I'm sorry. Goodbye...
***Credits to google for all the photos except the lead image which is mine.***
Let's talk about how lazy you are
Do you also feel tired lately? Just slouching in your sit or don't want to get up in your bed? Playing mobile games, watching anime or kdrama with a snack in your hand and partnered with soda sits on top of your bed side table... Yeah, I know that feels great... BUT while days were passing by and you're still doing the same thing you might just feel lazier and don't know how to be productive again.
And I know that you already knew that not doing anything everyday will just weakens your immune system which may cause stress levels to increase. As a matter of fact, we need to strengthen our immunity to fight for the Covid-19 which happens worldwide or considered as pandemic. So here are my tips to avoid stress and learn to be productive ><
**NOTE: I actually am doing all the tips that you will read next and it all works on me. Don't worry, I wrote this in general and studied first before I wrote this article.**
**Drink at least 1.5 Liters of water everyday.**
Right after you woke up in bed drink a glass of water. Though it is better to drink ***hot water in the morning*** for the stomach to adjust or ***hot water with lemon*** to boost our body resistance as the lemon is rich in vitamin C. Try to drink 1.5 Liters a day but if you are doing strenous exercises and sweating a lot you should drink more Liters of water but ***drink moderately*** as drinking a lot of water can also be harmful with our body.
**Trivia: If you're stress lessen your caffeine like drinking coffee because caffeine increases the cortisol or the stress hormone.**
Cook a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Find healthy foods in your pantry which contains nutrients such as protein, carbohydrates, good fats, vitamins and minerals . Having a good diet will make your lifestyle healthy. And besides it is really fun to cook your own breakfast, lunch and dinner, in this way you can avoid being lazy all day ^-^
**Note: If you want to ask for a healthy meal plan comment down below 👇👇👇 Just tell me what is your gender, body type, weight, height, age, what activities you usually does and how many hours you sleep so that I will know what meal plan will best works for you 😊**
Workout
This is one of the most important thing on the list, trust me. Working out those muscles really helps to decrease our stress hormones and will release happy hormones such as **endorphins.** Exercise can also help us to get a **good sleep** which allow our body to rest. And especially, it builds our **confidence**. As we workout our body, we will see a good result in our posture and body which makes us feel confident and that promotes **mental wellbeing**.
**Note: Do not forget to warm up first before you workout and cool down after you workout because the muscles may swell if you will not warm up and cool down.**
**Yoga**
Aside from working out, try to find other exercise routine such as walking, dancing, do some pilates or yoga. Yoga helps to stretch our muscles and relieve our stress as our blood will have a good flow doing this. By doing different yoga poses for almost one year, I learned that you should combine it with breathing exercises to get the whole process of relaxing your mind and have a balance through your body. And I did not imagined that I can be flexible by doing this. Learning yoga really improves my mental health , I gained more concentration than usual and helps me out with my studies like memorizing faster and understand easily the topics my professors discussed.
**Note: If you're a beginner in yoga just do the basic yoga poses because some other yoga poses is hard to do if you do not have a yoga instructor beside you and may result to injury which we don't want to happen at all.**
Write a journal or activities you want to do in a day.
I do usually write the things I want to do in a day and sometimes also writing what happened in my day. In that way, I can manage my time and be productive all day but of course I do not forgot to rest or just staring nowhere outside my window.
Do household chores
Clean your house or just your bedroom, organize your things will help you get distracted at the same time being productive. Washing dishes can make you help think what's bothering you and make a good solution, I do this and experienced it a lot. As the dishwasher of the family, just kidding hahahha, as a dishwasher in the morning and when I have some things that bothers me, while dishwashing our dirty plates, spoon, fork and glasses, I'm thinking of it and did not noticed that I'm making solutions or finding answers with my problems. Try it, it really works. And the best part by doing household chores is you're also helping your mother which makes a stronger bond between you and your mother. So, you will not have a hard time to get a permission if you want to hang out outside hahahhaha
Gardening
This is one of my favorite things to do. Shoveling soil, planting a seed or tress, water them and watch them grow day by day makes me happy and stress-free and plus the sunlight in the morning is good for plants as well as for us. Feel the fresh air and love our nature.
Listen to soothing music
This one is so effective. When you're having a really bad day and something or someone makes you angry, just listen to music that you like to distract and refresh your mind. Or even if you do not had a bad day, you can listen to music just to feel alive and happy to avoid such stress.
Spoil yourself sometimes
It is not bad to do the things that makes us happy especially when we have our free time and a bad day but of course, do it limitedly. When I think that I already finished the things that I need to do then I'll let myself to watch anime or watch a Chinese Drama but I'll not let myself to have a lack of sleep so I'll just watch at least 3 episodes of Chinese Drama but when it comes to anime huhu I'll just end up binge watching it, you can't blame me that's anime for Pete's sake.
**Note: I just finished watching Jujutsu Kaisen last week and wanted to watch Attack on Titans but I'm torn between watching AOT or continue watching One Piece because I cannot keep up anymore with its latest episodes as I need to study huhu T T**
**Talk and laugh with family**
I put this last because this is the most important and helpful thing here on the list. My family is not perfect, my siblings and I fought sometimes as well as my parents does. But even though we fight, they are the ones who only knows me well. They knew my character, what I like and do not like. When I have a problem, I'll tell them right away, no hesitations, whatever my problem is whether about my studies, friends, teachers, or even about them. I feel comfortable telling them all my secrets which I'm thankful for as I have known a lot of people such as my friends who are having a hard time bonding with their family. I tell them a lot of things, how my day went and just some random stuffs then they will laugh to my funny and epic stories, I'm clumsy ya' know hahahha so I tend to have laughable stories to tell but of course I exaggerate it sometimes to make it more hilarious hahahha perks of being a joker in the fam.
**Author's Note**: So I guess, this is where I'll end this article. I hope that you'll try these things also to lessen your stress and be productive all day. So, let me know what you think of this article. How do you relieve your stress? How do you make your life productive? Or you can tell me how your day went today, or if you decided to be lazy all day, c'mon we can talk about it ^^
***"And do not forget to pray to God to ease your pain, give you everyday strength and guide you all the way."***
**Credits to google for all the photos including the lead image and also credits to Channahlubutier for the quotes used in lead image.**
***Check out my other articles also if you have time*** 👇👇👇
**Health Education Article**:
***Philippines became a stressor country*** - https://read.cash/@sweetnurse/philippines-became-a-stressor-country-275d3bed
***How to take care of newborn babies*** - https://read.cash/@sweetnurse/how-to-take-care-of-newborn-babies-d09c2af7
**Tragic Love Story**:
***Fragile Hearts (Chapter 1) -*** https://read.cash/@sweetnurse/fragile-hearts-chapter-1-2275a2ee
***Fragile Hearts (Chapter 2/ Ending) -*** https://read.cash/@sweetnurse/fragile-hearts-chapter-2ending-d26df12a
**Other Article:**
***Why you shouldn't leave read.cash -*** https://read.cash/@sweetnurse/reasons-why-you-shouldnt-leave-readcash-19149ea2
Thank you for the sponsorship @meitanteikudo. You don't know how grateful I am right now🥺 You're so generous and all. Godbless you😘😇
Philippines became a stressor country
Filipinos are known to be hospitable, hardworking, generous, loving and caring people. And because of these traits other nationalities wants to have a Filipino to be their "***kasambahay***", who helps them to their errands including taking care of their child/children and doing the household chores and many stuffs.
Most of the Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW) works in other countries because there are no jobs to offer from the Philippines. At the present time, the Philippines is said to be still a developing country because many Filipinos are suffering from **poverty** and the country itself cannot cope up with the other countries. The result, Filipinos have no other choice but to take the risk and go to the other country, hoping that they could earn more money to support their families.
There are two types of OFW, fortunate and unfortunate. They are fortunate if they could work in a rich country with a wealthy and kind employer who respects Filipino cultures and them as a person. Adversely, they are unfortunate if they could find a bad employer who can do all kinds of abuse. In some news, here in the Philippines, the headline could possibly be, ***"OFW was sexually assaulted by his employer"*** **or** ***"Chained and Starved : OFW cries".*** That is why we, Filipinos, considered our OFWs as heroes.
Other OFWs do not tell their families how hard their job can be because they do not want their families to get worried and so, OFWs were restraining what they feel for themselves therefore **stress do arise**. They do not have someone to talk to and just suppressing it to themselves.
Moreover, stress do increase when the OFW's families would request a lot of things t9hey need and want. And worse, even their **extended family** including their grandparents, aunts, uncles and other relatives who all live nearby or in one household would ask their needs and wants such as *sneakers, shirts, dress, or even a brand new phone.* Because all of them have this thinking that ***when you are working abroad you are rich***.
**Next, Filipinos have a tradition that men should be the one who needs to earn money**, a responsibility that he should make a living for his family to eat three times a day, for his child/children to study and to give them shelter. It could be tiresome for the father as he is the one who is working, imagine paying electricity and water bills, their food expense, vehicle expense and many more fees to pay.
Men might be more stress than women because they are more likely to hide their feelings. **Men do not like to cry because it is a means of being weak for them.** And other people may discriminate them if they saw a man cries. They will not tell their problems and just go straight to the bar and drink alcohol, that is why we have this mindset that "***if you have problem drink alcohol then you would forget everything on the next day"***, which is not true. Because alcohol can just make you dehydrated and have head aches afterwards and your problem will not be solved you just wasted your money which can be added to your problems more.
On the other hand, women gets their stressors mostly by doing household chores and taking care of their child/children and as well as taking care of her husband. It is a woman's responsibility to make their home balance. Women are more likely to be organized, responsible and cleaned. They make their house to be called a home. Without them no one will cook, clean, wash the dishes and dirty clothes and no one will give a calm voice to appease the fight between their children.
But in this new generation, the Filipinos mindset changed for greater good as a husband and wife do help each other even in household chores or in seeking for job to earn salary and they both pays for bills and expenses for their family.
Thereafter, **Filipinos loves to be dependent** to their families as we are family-oriented. At the age of eighteen, we are still in our family's care compared to Western countries who lives by themselves independently. We, Filipinos, did not noticed that we are being dependent by our parents because they used to take care of everything for us. We got spoiled and when we finally think that we need to be independent we are already an adults. It is not too late, I know, but the time that we waste watching kdrama, spending our allowance in computer shops instead of saving and partying with people whom will leave us eventually, that all sucks. We could do better than that.
Stress is self-limiting which means you can manage it by yourself. Whether you distract yourself to read books, write stories, get some fresh air outside, talk random stuffs with your friends, clean your house, gardening, or wash the dishes and many other things to release your stress.
**Next article: We will talk about why Filipinos could not get rid of these stressors and on how to deal with these.**
**Health Education article**:
***How to take care of newborn babies-***https://read.cash/@sweetnurse/how-to-take-care-of-newborn-babies-d09c2af7
**Tragic Love Story**:
***Fragile Hearts (Chapter 1) -***https://read.cash/@sweetnurse/fragile-hearts-chapter-1-2275a2ee
***Fragile Hearts (Chapter 2/Ending) -***https://read.cash/@sweetnurse/fragile-hearts-chapter-2ending-d26df12a
**Other article:**
***Why you shouldn't leave read.cash*** -https://read.cash/@sweetnurse/reasons-why-you-shouldnt-leave-readcash-19149ea2
Reasons why you shouldn't leave read.cash
I stopped writing here in read.cash a month ago because of some reasons. First, I need to study hard to not fail my exams. Second, I lost my motivation to write here in read.cash. And lastly, I got tired in every happenings of my life.
However for the past month, I decided to be committed here in read.cash as I learned to manage my time now. And @TheRandomRewarder made me realized something and that is, ***never leave what you have started,*** that I should move forward and not be a coward to face my own struggles. Somehow, The Random Rewarder taught me how to be contented not only here in read.cash but as well as on my own world, my reality in life.
Fairly, my stress level increased for the past month because of my studies and how ironic that I'm studying how to manage stress yet I did not apply it to myself very well and let my emotions control my whole system. Fortunately, I feel better now and reenergized myself to walk with a small step.
I'm writing this right now to get me motivated and to remind me that I have goals here in read.cash. And I'm also writing this to send a message for those writers who are like me and who were once like me. We should not stop to write here in read.cash and serve this as our own daily diaries.
**Read.cash can serve as our stress reliever** by writing our rants and tell our stories or our opinions with different occurences.
There are numerous people who are suffering with stress or anxiety right now because of the pandemic and they do not know how to deal with it. And read.cash may be a way for them to get distracted. In the world of social media, where netizens can destroy someone's life by posting memes using the faces of someone else without their permission, commenting harsh or offending words that could be harmful to someone's feelings or worse edit a video and posting/sending it in different sites or any other social media platforms. This kind of world is obviously not good for the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health of a stressed person.
Comparison to read.cash rules and regulations that writers are not allowed to comment such harmful words or sentences to other writers. And as I said read.cash could help them because it can serve as their coping method. I read few articles here in read.cash regarding on how they coped up with their anxiety and according to most of them read.cash helped them to released the tension that they are feeling. I observed on how they wrote what's bothering them and the problems they fought to managed their stress. The commentors were also helping them and comment their good advices, they also share their stories to the writer perhaps to let the writer feels that he/she is not lonely.
Factually, **read.cash makes us smarter** as our brain works while writing. It makes us wonder and think "what to write next", "what are the topics that could be interesting for the readers", and "what do we really want to say".
We have our own ways to improve our writings. We may be researching for facts to support our claim. We may read lots of articles from the other readers here in read.cash. Or we may write based on our experiences that we encountered.
On my own accord, I want to use read.cash to give some articles about our health that may be informative to anyone and entertain the readers with my tragic love stories. However, I admit that I'm not that good at writing but still I want to write, there's always a room for improvement right?
**Read.cash also encourage us to communicate** with others. It helps us to have a connection and bond with other people through commenting with their articles. **Read.cash builds friendship** and guide us to see the different perspective of people with their different roles in society including a housewife or a working mother, an unemployed or an employed father, a student who loves to write/read or a student with too much opinions, and a person who seek for his/her purpose and wants to tell the world his/her worth.
As read.cash is a worldwide platform and the writers here are from different countries and we all know that we have our own culture and traditions which served as a barrier. But read.cash removed that barrier as every one of us could write the way we want to write and we learned how to respect each other, of what races we belong in.
**Read.cash may lift us to poverty** which is the major problem in every countries. It may taught us how to invest in cryptocurrencies as many writers here introduced to us the world of crypto. It might be a risk but remember that we should invest to grow independently. However, we should be wise when entering this kind of platform, go search for it in google, study, and boost your confidence then take the opportunity. ***Note that we should be patient in everything and do not be afraid to take the risk***.
With so much gratitude, I thank everyone here in read.cash and the read.cash itself because I found a partner to write my thoughts, as it educated me with knowledge and developed my interests in life.
I learned lot of new things here in read.cash but I want to learn and explore more to just not be a better writer but a better person in the future.
***"To be content doesn't mean you don't desire more, it means you're thankful for what you have and patient for what's to come." - Tony Gaskins***
How to take care of newborn babies
Newborn baby is a gift from God. There are mothers who gave births at such a young age and do not have a single clue how to take care of their baby. And there are also mothers who adopts a baby because she or her husband may suffer from infertilization. Lastly, there are mothers who acts as the baby's mother.
Here are some guides on how to take care of the newborn babies and to understand their behaviors:
***Responding to your baby's cries -*** Babies cries so frequent and their mothers may started to panick because they do not know how to make their babies stop crying. The baby cries bacause of several reasons. It is their way to get their mother's attention to tell that they are hungry, uncomfortable with their surroundings or tired and sleepy. The baby wants to release the tension he/she may feel. Yet occasionally, the baby will cry like nothing can console him/her even you tried to feed her or making funny faces. Afterwards, the baby will stare from nowhere like she/he looks alert than before then the baby will feel sleepy and sleep deeply more than usual. It is because the babies wants to get rid of the excess energy to allow to get a soothing and comfortable state.
**DIFFERENT TYPES OF CRIES**
Newborns likely to wake up hungry and crying for food and the mother should **respond quickly** for the baby to stop crying because baby's hunger cry may turn to a **wail or rage.** The more quickly the mother respond the lesser the baby cries. The mother should know what makes her baby cry such as look or touch the baby's diaper if it was already full of urine or may have stool. Immediately remove the baby's diaper because he/she may be cold then feed the baby right after.
If you heard a **shriek or panicked quality in the baby's cry** then you should see if his/her clothes are making him/her uncomfortable so the mother should change the baby's clothes in a comfortable quality of clothes. But it could also mean that perhaps there are strand of hair in the baby's finger or toe.
But if the mother already changed the baby's clothes in a comfortable one, well fed, warm and dry but the crying would not stop then try these **consoling techniques**:
● Play soft music or lullaby
● Talk like a baby or sing him/her a soothing song/humming
● Sway your baby in your arms
● Burping her to relieve any trapped gas bubbles
● Safe swaddling (wrapping her snugly in a receiving blanket)
● Gently stroke baby's head
● Gently pat baby's chest or back
● Give the baby a warm baths (most babies like this but not all)
**NOTE**: Find the most soothing techniques for your babies.
**BUT WHEN ANY OF THESE FAILS** just find a comfortable position and location for your baby such as a crib because there are some babies who cannot sleep when they did not cry however **IF THE BABY CRIES DOES NOT STILL STOP THEN CALL YOUR PEDIATRICIAN** because the baby may have a ***Colic*** or prolonged and intense crying of an infant.
***Do not shake/hit the baby*** no matter how irritated and impatient you feel. According to ***healthline.com*** shaking a baby or young child can cause their brain to repeatedly hit the inside of the skull. This impact can trigger bruising in the brain, bleeding in the brain, and brain swelling. Other injuries may include broken bone as well as damage to the baby's eyes, spine, and neck.
**NOTE**: Always remind this to those who takes care of the baby such as your grandparents, spouse, partner or babysitter.
***3. Always look what your baby does or have someone to look after the baby -*** Do not leave alone your baby on the bed because the baby may fell off of the bed causing the baby to have an injury and worse you may spent all night at the ER.
**WHAT TO DO:** Put pillows on every corners of the bed for supporters to make sure that the baby would not fall or better put the baby on the crib. But the best that you can do is ask someone who can look after your baby.
***4. Check the temperature of your baby -*** Sometimes baby cries because he/she has an infection. If the temperature falls of in 38°C or 100.4°F then call a doctor to check for your baby. The mother should be alert to respond but remember that you should not panick because the baby may feel it and the tension he/she may feel will only increase which can result to more serious condition.
***5. The mother should take care of herself for the sake of her baby -*** If the mother is breastfeeding she should avoid drinking coffee as it contains caffeine which can increase the stress hormone levels called **cortisol** and that could affect her baby.
**WHAT TO DO**: Eat a healthy diet, drink plenty of water and get some fresh air. The mother should workout too to get a more healthy body. And sleeps when the baby sleeps. Healthy lifestyle will help you to get energy to take care of your baby.
***6. Let someone visit your baby such as Grandparents, Friends or any loved ones -*** newborn babies sometimes love to see someone new in their eyes. **BUT** make sure that you will tell a schedule to the visitors when can they visit and cannot and how much time you have for a visit. Let some trusted visitors to care for the baby for you to have your needed rest.
**WHAT TO DO**: Urge the visitors to wash their hands first before holding the baby to avoid any bacteria that could be pass by the baby or infection.
**NOTE**: I do not recommend this one because of the pandemic because newborn babies have weak immune system so they could easily get an infection. But when the pandemic's gone and everything get back to normal, you should allow them to visit your baby.
***7. Expect the changes/mixed emotions that you may get -*** It is normal that the parents/parent may have been tired waking late at night because of the baby cries or change the baby's diaper while having a phone call regarding to your job or think what should you feed for your baby. It is an endless cycle and you may feel impatient and restless.
Sometimes you might go from admiring your baby and marveling at those tiny fingers and toes and on the next second you might ask yourself worrying about your ability to care for a newborn, "Can I do this? Will I be a good parent if I can't even properly change his/her diapers? Can I provide all his/her needs?".
**WHAT TO DO:** Call your parents to get some advice because they are the experts of all the experts, trust me. Additionally, the bond between you and your parents will be stronger than before as you now have more understanding to each other. Tell them what bothers you such as financial problems or difficulty caring for the baby. Remember that "***Pride cannot help when someone is asking for help***", that is my motto in every circumstances.
***8. Take a morning walk*** - take the baby for a morning walk it is good for the baby's nutrition and growth as well as for you.
***9. Accept a helping hand*** - if your loved ones or friends lend their hand on you then accept it. If you are tired ask them for a favor but do not abuse it. If you need them to run for your errands suggest it---whatever would help you most.
***10. Know when to seek for additional help*** - if you notice that your stress level imcreased too much then call for a doctor for you to know what to do and what not to do. And for the doctor to guide you on taking care of your baby. Or if your condition gets serious they will diagnosed and offer you some medicine to help you ease the pain.
***11. Lastly, the newborn babies should feel love*** - give your baby the attention that they need and tenderness to make them feel that you love them. According to philosophy, babies recognized their mother easily if they always see them. If a mother always gives her breastfeed the baby will feel comfortable to his/her mother which will be easier for the mother to take care of her newborn baby.
Babies are so fragile that anyone can be afraid to hold them, they are like glass who needs concentration when being touch to not be broken.
I hope that you learn something from this article whether you're a mother or not. Honestly, I got inspired with the vlog of a young mother on how she handles everything while taking care of his daughter that's why I want to share my thoughts to help those who are struggling right now to take care of their babies.
I did some research for this article and some of those advice were from my Nurse Professors and just wrote it on my own way for you to easily understand what the Healthcare Professionals wants to educate for any one of us.
With God's luck, have some faith that everything will be back to normal. I wish everyone to be safe on their own homes. Godbless. Thank you for your time reading this article.
Fragile hearts (Chapter 2/Ending )
"Yeah, friends", and I genuinely smiled at him
With that words we really became friends...
Trina welcomed him like nothing has happened way back then and she seems happier.
"Sis, omg, I can now see Ronald everyday and always coming to our table in cafeteria. Oh Romeo, I can be your Juliet", she said like imagining Ronald is Romeo and she is his Juliet. Haayyss, my friend became more insane tsk tsk what a pity
Honestly, I did not expect that we will be friends with Ronald but that's how it is right? As we age we realized that we should move on from the past to move forward.
When Trina was not there, Ronald was there for me to listen. He offers his shoulder to lean on, he became my pillow to cry on, he became my comfort zone... and that's what I'm afraid of.
"It hurts that whenever I came home they are shouting with each other. It hurts that my father were hitting my mother in front of me. It hurts that I cannot see their love for each other... What happened? What is happening with my family Ronald? I don't know what to do", I'm crying endlessly with Ronald's chest and he'll just tap my back to comfort me
***4 months had passed...***
Ronald and I were on our way back home and Trina came home first because her house is near in school rather than us. Ronald's house is on the other street but since we became friends it became his habit that he will walk me home and he said that he just want me to be safe.
For the past four months my parents became busy with their own matter and I wonder if when will they got a divorce paper...
My parents got older given the fact that they do age but I think it stress is one of the factors. I noticed how my Mother had wrinkles on each side on her eyes and how my Father got lines in his forehead. I cannot understand why people do get marry when they do not understand each other in the first place... or if they had a misunderstanding can't they just talk about it? Like an adult? Maybe my parents got age but their thinking did not.
Ronald stopped walking so I gave him a confused look then he look at my house telling me that we are already in front of our house.
"Ooppss my bad hehe", I said
"Aish, what were you thinking again?"
"Sorry..."
"Anyway, I'll go now?"
"Yeah, thank you for walking me home.", I smiled
"See you tomorrow, Julie", then he smiled at me too while waving his hand as he walks his way home
I entered our house then got surprised that my mom was in front of our door. Well, I'll just ignore her and will walk in my bedroom. Yeah, that's right, Julie, you can do this. When I get the chance to walk pass her she stopped me with grabbing my right arm.
"What?", I asked not looking in her eyes
"Is that Ronald Torres?", she asked with a hint of madness in her voice
"Uh... yes mom, that's him. Can you let go of me now? I'm tired and I want to rest in my bedroom"
"No! Why did he walked you home? Is he courting you? What did I say? Don't let him near you. He's a bad guy like his father!!!"
"What? Do you know him? Do you know Ronald? Why are you judging him based on what his Father did to you? Whatever it is... Mom, Ronald and I are good friends. So please, just this one... don't ruin it... Don't ruin my life", I said tearing up and just go to my bedroom
The set up continues... Ronald always walks me home even my mother do not allow it.
***Then the Ball came...***
He asked me to be his partner, he even brought a rose for me which I find sweet. And of course, I said yes...
We dance in the middle of the crowd but all I can see was him... his bright eyes, his smile and how gentle this man became. I never thought that I will feel this way for him and I hope he feels the same way for me...
He offered his hand and I held it and just let him wherever he wants us to go...
We stopped at the garden of our school and sit on the swing in the playground. When he started to talk...
"Julie, I know that I was a jerk back then. And I'm happy that you let me in, in your life. I'm happy that we became friends. But I want to let you know that I want us to be more than that. I'm not contented with what we have. I'm willing to be the man that you dreamt. I'm willing to change whatever attitude you don't like. I'm willing to be an honest guy with you all the time. I will love you forever even though you became tired of me. I will never leave you behind. So please, be my girlfriend?"... he said that with full of love in his eyes, I was shocked and don't know what to say at first but... I don't care with the world anymore. All I knew was I love this guy...
"Yes, Ronald. Yes!", and then he hugged me and saying 'thank you' repeatedly hahhaha this guy I'm much grateful than him. He just didn't know.
For the past 5 months, Ronald were treating me like his princess. And for the past 5 months, my mother and father are still like that... fighting and arguing all the time.
Ronald wants us to be official and gets permission to my dad and mom but I refused even though I want us to be official too. It's just that... it's not the right time and my mother doesn't like him and for my father, I think he doesn't care 'coz he doesn't much about me too.
Ronald were the only one who keeps me alive and who can made me smile every day. He is giving me the love and attention that I seek for my parents.
And then one day... I became tired of keeping our relationship so I said to Ronald that we should make it official. He smiled and said that "Okay, alright... Let's go after our class? Together? I'm kinda nervous but I'm really happy. I hope they will accept me tho"
"I hope so too" and held his hand to support him and our realtionship
Whatever happens, I'll never stop loving him...
We're now in front of our house and I let him inside our house then called my mom and dad but my mom were the only one who showed up. And she seems... in a bad mood... but she's always in a bad mood tho' so what's new right?
"Hey, mom. This is Ronald, you knew him already. He's my boyfriend", I said politely
My mom looked so surprised and held her chest
"Good afternoon ma'am. I'm Ronald and I'm here to tell you that I really love your daughter. And we want to ask you for your blessing", then he offered his hand but my mom just looked at his right hand
"How... how could you! I told you to stay away from this guy! He's just like his father, Julie. And you're still young! You're not allowed to have a boyfriend at this young age!", she started to angrily shout at me
And so I can't suppress my feelings then just started to tear up...
"No mom! You know what I'm leaving! I'm leaving this house and will never come back again! I'm tired with you and I'm tired with everything!"...
I grabbed Ronald's hand and my emotions filled me up and did not even think to get my stuffs or just some clothes in my house
"Hey, calm down Julie. Tell me that you didn't mean it? Go home and make it up to your mom...", he carefully said to me
"No... I want, I want to get away from that house... Please, Ronald... You love me right? Live with me. Let's make our own family...", I cried to him
"I love you Julie but this is not the right thing to do... we're still young, we should not make impulsive actions" he said which made me mad at him
"Okay, then let's break up right now and I'll just live on my own!"
"No, Julie. Oo--okay I'll live with you. I have savings on my bank account..."
We rented a small apartment even though it is not big as our houses that's fine with us as long as we are together. I know that my decision is wrong but I want to live my life free and I'm sure that Ronald and I will survive.
For the past one week that we lived in, we decided to stop studying because allowance will just be an expense for us. It did make me sad but I still don't want to go home and my pride doesn't let it.
***One month had passed***
Ronald and I started to look for a job and found one but we faked our age 'coz we're still underage and will not be qualified if tell the truth. I'm an assistant in a small company just printing and typing in computer and Ronald became a driver of our boss. The salary was fine for us to save money. But after one month, I resigned because Ronald got jealous by our boss as Sir Gutierrez hold my hand while I'm typing data in his computer and Ronald saw it but he did not say a thing inside the office but when we're on our way home he got mad at me that I'm flirting with our boss while I really did not. I got shocked also when that incident happened. And out of his jealousy, he said that I should resigned so I did.
When I resigned, I felt alone in our apartment and tired doing all the household chores which I don't know how to do properly and worse is I can't cook even a fried egg, argh... I was not cooking all our meals when we started to lived in because we were just buying outside but now, we're short of money so I am obliged to do all this.
Ronald came home late at night, and I kissed him on his cheeks while helping him to pull out his polo. By looking at his eyes, I noticed that he is tired.
"Love, uuhh did you ate already? Uuhhmm, the egg got burned out... you know I don't know how to cook. Sorry..."
Then he slammed the table
"What?! I'm so tired and starving! Why can't you fried a simple egg?!", he massaged his temples meaning that he was mad...
I cried with his sudden reaction...
"I tried to cook. I tried to wash the dishes. I tried to wash our clothes. I tried everything that I shouldn't do", then I just endlessly cry and go to our bedroom.
Early in the morning, I woke up in bed but Ronald was not beside me anymore maybe he goes to work. I felt a heavy feelimg inside my chest because we still did not make it up until now...
I put all our laundry in the pail and go to our neighbor because we're out of water as we dis not pay the bill yet. Fortunately, our neighbor treats me as her daughter.
Aunt Linda, our neighbor, is washing her family's clothes beside me and I'm washing Ronald and I's dirty clothes.
"Julie, did you not regret to lived in together? I mean you two are still young. Does your parents does not looking for you two? They may be worried for the both of you... This is just a piece of advice because I treat you like my own daugther. Go home... and do not live like me. I did not study and just like you I run away from our home, from my parents and until now that I have my own family, my parents do not consider me as their daughter anymore... So look at me now, washing all these dirty clothes with my bare hands because we cannot afford to get a maid nor buy a washing machine..."
I was walking my way home holding our washed clothes. And I'm still thinking with what Aunt Linda said to me... Should I go home? But I'm afraid after all that I have done... Will my parents accept me again?
Then I suddenly felt my head aches and everything went black...
I woke up with my blurry vision and saw a light. Then, when my vision was cleared I looked around and saw lot of patients and nurses who were busy monitoring. I'm at a small hospital and when I noticed that someone was hding my hand I looked at my side, it was Ronald. He was sleeping beside me and opened his eyes when he felt that I'm now awake.
"Oh, thank god, you're awake now", then he kissed my forehead.
Then two persons came in sight. My mom and dad were talking with the doctor about my situation and I got a Gastroenteritis. I looked at Ronald...
"I need to call them, Julie. I'm so sorry... it's just that I love you but we're still young and I've got dreams too and you have your own dreams to fulfill too... I hope, I hope that you understand my decision. We need to break up and set things right. We don't need to rush things for us, we should not rush things. I care for you and I love you... but it's not just the right time. Don't forget about me okay?", then for the one last time he kissed my forehead and turned his back on me... I just silently cried because I know that he was right.
"I'm so sorry sweetheart. We're so sorry", my mom said while crying and she hugged me then my dad kissed me in my head.
People can do a lot of mistakes but we just need to face those mistakes and don't do the same mistakes again. We need to change... and we need to continue our lives no matter what.
**THE END**
Hello beautiful people😊 I'm back here in read.cash and will be active starting today. I'm back with another new story. Check it out 👇👇👇
https://read.cash/@sweetnurse/wrong-love-wrong-time-and-wrong-place-chapter-1-2275a2ee
Fragile hearts (Chapter 1)
It was like Romeo and Juliet. His Father and my Mother had a past conflict. But we love each other so we fought our love together until it begun wrong...
***FLASHBACK***
It was in our Elementary days when we first met. I saw Trina, my adorable bestfriend, who were surrounded by group of boys and getting bullied... her pigtail were all ruined and have a bruise on her chubby cheeks and because of the sight I automatically ran and punched the boy whom I think punched my bestfriend. Nobody can do that to her!!!
I pushed him away from my bestfriend...
"Hey!!! What are you doing you moronssss!!!", I pointed a finger to all of them
"Obviously, bullying her hahahha", said by the boy who I punched a while ago and I think it's their leader, this dumb guy ggrrr
"I'm going to tell this immediately at the guidance office!!! You'll see..." and then I glared at them
"Oohhh, I'm so scared... don't forget that the dean is my UNCLE" he replied teasingly
"And so? We have the right to complain because we're all students here, duh" I said bravely just to show him that I'm not afraid even though I really am afraid, well you can't blame me the principal is his uncle for Pete's sake but I hope there'll be no favoritism tho'
I turn my back on him and grab Trina's arm and started to ran towards the Dean's Office.
We're now here at the entrance door of the Dean's Office and so I knocked on the door for a few seconds and Mrs. Vasquez, the dean's assistant, opened the door and let us in.
We're just standing in front of the dean's desk and not even flinching, I hope we're still alive 'coz I think we also forgot to breathe...
"Trina c'mon you spill"... I whispered in Trina's ear
"What? I thought you're the one who will complain? Huh, you snitch"
"Ehem, so, good morning young girls. What can I do for you?", the Dean already interrupted our little argument
"Well, hhmm, you see sir... my friend Trina was a mess. I mean she got all this mess because of Ronald Torres, you're uuhh nephew?" I started to explain with my filtered words, yes FILTERED words
"Ronald? What did he do this time? Argh, that kid is really a troublemaker. What did he do? Did he punched you Trina?", the Dean's asked noticing the bruise on Trina's left cheek but got interrupted by a slam of the door
"No, uncle, this girl, SHE punched me... looked at my handsome face now I had a bruised argh", Ronald pointed his finger on me and exaggeratedly put all the blame on me
I just rolled my eyes on him when he looked at me angrily. Psh he deserved that, what a brat!
"Well, watch your manners Ronron", the Dean's said and have a warning glance at Ronald and what did just the Dean's called him? Ronron? Ppfftt what a lame nickname hahahaah and so I did not noticed that I'm suppressing my laughter so their eyes were on me and I shut up... whatever
"Let's settle this, alright? So first why did you punched Trina's face?", the dean's asked Ronald
"Well, hhmm... because... just because... I want to do so?", and that made me angrier ggrr this guy
"You see sir, that was physical abuse!" I blurted out
"Ronald, you cannot just punched someone because you just wanted to and especially a girl? I need to call your parents for this... and please tell this to your parents huh? Trina and Julie, alright girls?" the Dean's asked us
"What? Even my parents sir?" I asked politely
"Yes, Julie, because you're the witness and make you and Ronron behave on your own", the Dean explained
Then Ronald looked at me like he won, psh...
On the next day, we brought our parents. I brought my mom, Ronald brought his father who is the brother of the Dean and Trina brought his mother who is my Mother's bestfriend that's why Trina and I are bestfriends. But I did not expect that they also knew Ronald's father and I think they had more conflict than us?.. or is it just my imagination that my mother were looking so mad at Ronald's father? Anyways...
"So ehem Good morning Mr. Torres, Mrs. Cruz and Mrs. Perez. I'm the Dean of this school and I just want to settle the issue between your children. Mr. Torres, your child punched Mrs. Perez child and Mrs. Cruz your child, Julie, punched Ronald's face."
"Why did you do that Julie?", my mother asked me bending on her knees to level with my height
"Uuhh sorry mom... I was just defending Trina because Ronald were bullying her", I glanced away
My mother stand up and said, "Oh, just like his father" she remarked
"Oh c'mon Jane don't start right here and in front with the children? Seriously?"... Ronald's father replied
"What? I'm not starting anything... am I not right, Trish, Robert were also a bully back then right?" She asked Trina's mom to support her
"Guys, please calm down... we're settling our children's argument not yours alright?", Aunt Trish said
After 30mins in the Dean's office, we settled the issue...
When my mom and I make our way home she said that I should keep away from Ronald because he's a bad influence... and so I did...
***After 3 years***...
Trina and I were now in our Sophomore year in High School. And happily, we're still on the same school, well, can't live without her ahahhaha. It's Monday today and I think I left my pen on my way home so I whispers Trina's name to call her. Luckily, her seat were just in front of me and I hope we will not be caught by our strict teacher especially because it is our exam today... hhoo what a life aish
"Trina, you have an extra pen?"
She make a hand gesture that she doesn't have and turned her head in front immediately... afraid that our teacher will caught us
"Here", on my right side there was a hand lending a pen... I just took it and said 'thank you' without glancing whoever it is
Then I started to take the exam quietly
After 3 hours we finished our exams on four subjects... that really drains me y'all
I'm currently fixing my school materials and will give the pen back with my seat mate but Trina grabbed my hand and led me to the cafeteria... aish this girl! How will I find the guy who lend me the pen now?
Ggrr, I just gave Trina's a glare but vanished it immediately because she gave a peace sign with her right hand argh why can't I resist this crazy girl
"Let's go, find us a seat then I'll order" then with that she left me
I started to look around to find us a seat then I found a two-sitter table beside the window.
I'm sitting here for at least 5 minutes already and Trina's not yet back maybe because many students are ordering... I'm just looking at the window when someone pulled the chair in front of me and seat...
I stared at him for a while wondering who is he...
"Uh... that seat is reserved already?", I said to him carefully
He kinda look like a quiet guy because of his blunt face. He suddenly offer his right hand at the table like he's asking for something. I just looked at his hand...
"Huh? I don't have money", I said as a matter of fact haaha kidding then he rolled his eyes on me...
"My pen," he shortly replied
Then that just made me realized that he was the one who lend me the pen
"Oh, wait", I started to find his pen on my bag and then when I found it I gave it to him immediately
"Thank you for lending me your pen" I said and then he stand up and walked away
"What was that?", Trina said surprisingly as in she looked like she had seen a ghost
"Uh... he lend me his pen? So I just gave it back to him", I explained and get the tray on her hand because she was still shocked and I'm starving already
"Hey, why do you looked so shocked? The guy just lend me a pen, no big deal haahah" I said laughing with her reaction
"Seriously, Julie? That guy?!", she said exaggeratingly
"Yeah?", I confusely asked
"Duh, 'that guy' was Ronald!",she squeeked
"Ronald? Ronald who? One of your exes huh?" I said teasingly then she hit my arm
"Ouch, what's with you?"
"Ronald, the guy who bullied me three years ago then you punched him on the face to defend me and then he became a hottie" she said dreamingly
Then now I'm the one who looked like who had seen a ghost... what?! That guy was Ronald? Ggrrr that just makes my blood boils
"What did you just said? A hottie? Duh, more like a weirdo for me", I said then rolled my eyes
"You know what let's just eat before I lose my appetite", I said to shut her of whatever she will say about that guy again
I'm here outside of our house gate for 1 hour already I think... I don't want to go inside because my mother and father are fighting again so... goodluck to my effin' skin with this effin' mosquitoes
They fight most of the time... maybe because of misunderstnding and connection? I dunno and I felt sad whenever they are like that. I hope that I had a sister or brother to talk too but I'm grateful too because I'm their only child 'coz I don't want my sibling to suffer like I do...
I woke up late in the morning and for the consequence I'm also late in my class so my teacher scolded me for a while but also let me in... in her class
While walking to my seat, I noticed that Trina was out of sight... Sheesh, why now? Now that I need someone who'll listen to me... Trina was my only bestfriend and my only friend I don't have any friends beside her... maybe because she's already enough and I'm quite an introvert. She's not just like a bestfriend, she's more like a sister for me, my younger sister... she's like a baby but becoming mature when it comes to a situation like this. Hhaaayysss *sigh*
I took my seat and just decided to listen on the lecture for me to get distracted
After my morning class, I received a text from Trina and it says that she wrote an excuse letter because she was sick and can't make it to class. I just texted that I'll visit her later after class dismissal on the afternoon.
I brought some snacks on the cafeteria and go to the open field in our school. I sat under an old tree to block me from the sunlight. I just stared at the athletes doing their warm ups. And then suddenly, I caught his stare... He was looking at me blankly. I glanced away then started to eat my cinnamon bread and sip on my fresh milk.
Ronald was one of the basketball players huh? But seriously, I didn't know that we're schoolmates and I also watched sports competition in our school because Trina is a member in cheerleading and she always wanted me to support her but even though she'll not ask me to come, I'll gladly cheer for her though she's the cheerleader ahhahahha besides it has plus points in our grades.
While eating my snacks, I notice that Ronald were glancing in my way with my peripheral vision. Seriously? What's with this dude? He's starting to creep me out.
And then he ran towards my direction which I did not expect. Duh, I think we're not in good terms? And I already gave back his pen so what's his deal?
"Hey,"... he started to approached me then waved his hand at me
"Oh, hi" I awkwardly said
He sat beside me
"You okay?", he asked
"Uh yeah? Why? Don't you still have a training?", I said making him feel that I don't want his presence
"Nah, our coach gave us a fifteen minute rest... you look sad so... hhmm I know that we fought way back in our elementary days and I'm sincerely apologizing to you right now and to Trina. Wait, where is she?"
"She's sick so she did not go to class", I explained slightly easing the atmosphere
"Well... hhmm I really want to be friends with you and Trina. I just transferred here two months ago and did not expect that I will see you and Trina here. So, friends?", he kindly asked
I don't know if I'll accept the friendship or not... not because I'm still mad at him but because my mother told me to get away from him... but that was years ago maybe mom forgot about it?
"Yeah, friends", and I genuinely smiled at him
Hi beautiful people😊 thank you for reading my story... Here is the link of the chapter 2 and also the last chapter of this story😻 Hope you enjoy😊
https://read.cash/@sweetnurse/fragile-hearts-chapter-2ending-d26df12a
Friends for keeps
Friends. Do you have a friend? A friend who you can always rely on? A friend who always celebrates your success? Or... a friend who came into your life and then go? 'That' friend who pulls you down? Nah, that's not a true friend... if you feel like someone manipulates or control you keep your distance with them because you cannot move forward to your life if they are into your life. They will just keep making you feel bad even though you're not doing anything. Even if it's sad... let go of them.
I once had 'that' kind of friend who had been so manipulative to the point that my family got involved and that's where I burst out. That's the time that I realized how 'bad influence' she was to me. Otherwise, I gave her one last chance but she threw it away. So, I let her go. And then, I feel free, I can now breathe... finally.
We have different definition of the word, 'friend'. We have a friend who were always there for us even if we did not talk for the long time, months, years or even a decade but when you see each other again you can say that nothing changed with your relationship except that you have different perception and principles in your present life.
In my journey, I encountered different attitides of people. There are person who is shy, hot-tempered, kind, adorable, and who don't care about the world. But you know what? We can be friends with everyone if we just want to. It is how we communicate with them and makes them feel that we are their friend.
Yesterday morning, my friends way back in junior high school and I decided to hang out to have late celebration for my birthday. **Four years**, four years that we did not have communication but nothing changed. We understand each other having different lives, different courses and track, we even have different people came in our lives, different circle of friends but we're now adults, we became matured and we have different worlds yet we're still friends and the bond will always be there.
We have this meeting place and we set time which is 9 AM. But as usual, I came first and guess what? Of course, they did the *'Filipino Time'* again haha, they made it at 10 AM. But I am used to it, they were just like that when we have a group study back then. I'll chat endlessly until they show up. Argh, that was exhausting though but I need to wait for us to finish the requirement in school. I miss that... I miss this...
And so, we rode a *jeep* to go to our destination. While riding the *jeep*, the stories and '*chikas*' never ended that's just how we miss each other I guess. We came to the mall, we ate first and continued the talk again, talking about our college lives, how hard it is to pass the major subjects, and my other friend is a working student because she wants to have savings which I'm proud of. We bursted our rants in studies, crushes, and our responsibility and then laugh afterwards.
We bought some snacks at the grocery store and make a lot of '*kahihiyan*' there.
And then we took some photos at the park of the mall.
And our last location was at the famous 'ukay-ukay' which well, a '***FILIPINO-thing***'. *Ukay-ukay* is pre-loved clothes or used clothes which sells by its low price that's why many people were buying. They have lot of beautiful clothes there and sometimes there are more stylish clothes there rather than the brand new ones. Just wash it properly to disinfect. And always remember that it's the person who makes the clothes beautiful not the other way around.
Our parents we're already calling us by 4PM so we decided to go home. The day was awesome even though the time was so short but we continued our '*kulitan*' via DM's and had a video call afterwards and ended with playing mobile games.
At first, I was afraid that our bond will be gone but it did not and I'm so happy to know that. Sometimes, the people you expected who will leave are actually the people who will not forget and will stay with you for the longest time of your life.
Dear writers, I need your opinions
4 months here in @Read.Cash and I still feel like I'm a newbie here. I don't know if there was a problem of how I wrote or my stories was not good as everyone here.
I do not have any talent that I knew, all I know is just writing what comes in my head... I just love to write stories so I came here in @Read.Cash and I'm very thankful to those writers who did upvote and commenting to my stories, you make me happy whenever you comment your own perception. And especially, I'm so grateful to @TheRandomRewarder because he did not fail to gave me upvotes on every article I wrote and posted here. I really appreciated that. But for the less upvote that I was receiving I'm starting to doubt my skills in writing an article. Are my articles that bad?
I'm not writing this to make a complain but I'm writing this to get some advices to my co-writers here in @Read.Cash to improve my skills in writing. I need to get my *motivation* back.
I often lose my inspiration when I decided to start writing an article. I will open my laptop and want to write an article but in the middle of typing an article I will stop midways. Why is that?
When I was young, I started to find what my talent is... because all the kids at my school have different talents. I tried to sing but they were just laughing at me. I tried to dance but my body was not that flexible. I tried to draw but all I knew is a 'stick man'. I tried to be good in sports but my body was weak. I tried a lot of talents that anybody could say that it was a talent but I failed. Maybe because I gave up already? Maybe because I'm not determined to improve it? But I found the talent that I never knew could be a talent which is writing stories. I wrote what my imagination led me. It is my comfort zone. It is my stress reliever. And I don't want to give up on this.
So before, I lose my passion... I'm asking you guys if could you give me some advice of what should I do? Any tips for writing an article? Or if you have time could you read one of my articles then comment down what you think about it?
Honestly, I sometimes get insecured by the writers who get noticed by Sir @MarcDeMesel ... but they deserved it, they were really great writers. And there are numerous great writers here, I want to be like them, someday.
I have two friends here in @Read.Cash . They are @carisdaneym2 and @immaryandmerry , they introduced @Read.Cash to me. They helped me how to post and wrote here in read.cash. They were my blockmates in college at my former university and for the one year that we had, we build a bond. They are really good and kind people in person and even not in person. They were easy to be friends with because they like telling jokes that could really lift you up. We became friends, thanks to our *tambayan*, the Library and the food stall selling our famous street foods such as kwek-kwek, fishball and etc. I'm really proud of these two amazing woman@carisdaneym2 and @immaryandmerry . I learned a lot from them when we still have face to face classes. They were both striving to achieve their dreams and I admire them for that. If you two are reading this, I love you both and thank you for everything.
I know that I got busy in my studies for the last month. But the truth is, I just don't have the motivation to write an article. I kept asking myself what could be a good topic? How can I get the readers' attention?
It is easy to write/type but it takes time to find a motivation to write... And so, I really am amazed with the writers who kept posting here in read.cash, you're awesome!
So yeah, what do you think about my writing skills? Care to tell me?
Advanced thank you for those who will notice and comment here their advices. I love you guys and thank you @Read.Cash that you let us,writers, to freely wrote what's in our mind. Thank you for always sponsoring me@TheRandomRewarder and for sponsoring other writers to keep writing such beautiful articles. And still thank you sir @MarcDeMesel , even though you're not noticing me, you're such a blessing to everyone because of you we are striving for more and we want to become a great writer someday. Thank you for challenging us, I hope one day, you will notice my articles. I'll pray and work hard for it to come.
Stay safe and God bless everyone.
His success without me (short story)
I am looking at him, I can see his eyes filled with happiness… he’s smiling genuinely to everyone. He seems complete, complete without me. I’m hiding with the crowd and I’m sure that he will not notice me because he’s too far…
**FLASHBACK**
It was the first snow when we first met, I’m wearing thick clothes to make me feel warm and have an umbrella with me coz’ I’m on my way to my grandparents’ house to make some visit. While walking at the street, I heard a strumming from the guitar not too far from my location. I followed the sound of the guitar and started to hear an angelic deep voice. He was singing while sitting at the corner of the street, his guitar case is at his feet, it was open so people can put money in there.
I walked towards his direction as he gained a small crowd surrounding him. I closed my eyes feeling his warm voice conversing the winter at night. With his last lyrics, I opened my eyes and see that he’s looking at me. I got shocked by the sudden nonverbal act so I walked away but someone called me from behind
“Hey!”, I looked at my arm when someone hold it
And move my eyes to see his face; it was the man who has an angelic voice.
“Oh, uh… Hi?”, I awkwardly replied
“Hhmm… so, how was my voice? I saw you earlier, you know, at the corner of the street…”, he said, smoothly
“Ah, yeah, there… It was, it was fine”, I said lying because his voice was too good
“So, I guess, I need more practice, eh?”, he said while scratching his head
“Yep”,
“So… nice to meet you, Miss???”, he asked offering his hand
“Mira”, and I shook his hand
I hesitated if I will give my name to a stranger but I gave it anyways, hope he’s nice tho’
“What a lovely name, I’m Tristan by the way”, he said smiling before he politely bid his goodbye
What a random day it was, isn’t?
One week had passed when our unexpected encounter happened.
Saturday night, I asked permission to my mom if I could go outside just to ease some stress due to endless home works and activities in my different subjects. Luckily, she let me.
I get the umbrella on its rack beside the door and walked through the lively night. The cold breeze was brushing through my face. A lot of people were walking at the street; some of them were family, spending their time maybe because its weekend, but certainly, most of them were lovebirds because of the snow. It was a good sight…
I walked to the night market and saw some pastry at the corner. I bought a butter tart and eat it slowly as I walk again. I walked towards the swing and sit there; I close my eyes and feel the ambiance of the winter night.
“You like closing your eyes too often, aren’t ya’?”, I got startled with the stranger’s voice or maybe not a stranger? I immediately opened my eyes to see a man with a black hoodie and cap wearing his guitar at the back. So… here’s the man last week, I guess
“Oh, hi… well just feeling the winter breeze” and he sat on the swing beside me
“So, were you always hanging out here?”
“Nah, just need some stress reliever”
“Do you mind?”, he was pertaining to strum his guitar
“Nope, not at all… just do your thing”, I replied
He started to strum his guitar while humming… it’s so soothing to my ears. I closed my eyes again and started to sing because I know the lyrics; it was “Places We Won’t Walk” by Bruno Major.
“We will smile to end each day
In places we won’t walk…”, he sang the last lyrics of the song with me and our eyes just met…
There was a moment of silence for a minute until he started to smile and so I did too.
“You have a great voice, didn’t expect that”, he said complimenting my voice
“Uh, not so great?”, I joked and so he laugh
“Mira, would you mind?.. To walk with me at this winter night?”, he asked smiling while offering his right hand
I just gave my hand answering his question indirectly.
We walked through the crowd,
“Oh my goshhhh, there’s a claw machine there!!! Let’s go, let’s go!!!”, I grabbed his arm and run towards the claw machine. I love claw machines even though I cannot get any most of the time haahhaha… I wish that if I will have my own house in the future I’ll buy one and put it in my stress reliever room hahahha, great idea isn’t?
He was just laughing at me all the time because the claw keeps failing… argh… One last try and I will be out of coins but I took the risk… and guess what? Yeah, you’re right it failed again, psh…
And you know what makes me angrier? His laugh!!! His sarcastic and teasing laugh so I glared at him…
“What?”, he asked innocently while suppressing his laughter
“Alright, alright”, he put his arms upwards as if surrendering
“Lemme’ mademoiselle”, and then he winked
He put coins on the machine to start and then he focused, hahahah his face was epic so I’m suppressing my laughter. The claw starts and thennnn…
“HAHAHAAH, I told ya’ it was hard bleh”, I said teasing him because he did not get any of the stuff toys either
“NO!!! Let me try againnn,,, gggrrr…”, he tried for about ten times until he gave up
“Argh, who invented this crap?, I hate it”, he said not accepting his defeat hahahah but anways that was fun even though we did not get any
“Hahahah come on now, let’s just try some other stuff”, I told him to ease his anger hahahah
“You know what, let’s just eat”, he said and grab my left arm
We walked towards the different food stalls and eat some Poutine and Bannock. We sat in a bench while munching our foods then he started to tell such random stuffs.
“I hope one day… I can be like those successful artists”, he’s watching the concert video of a famous band on the screen and so I stared at it too…
“Well, you can if you want too”, I said as a matter of fact and then he stared at me
“Ehem, so what about you?”, he alter the awkwardness
“Hhhmm, what about me?”, I asked
“What do you want in the future? What you want to become? Any plans?”
“Well,,, hhmm what I want to become? I don’t know, I don’t have any plans either”
“You don’t have any plans??? Why??? Didn’t expect that, with a girl like you”, he exaggeratedly asked
“Like me? Why? What do you think ‘bout me huh?”
“You look like a girl with so many dreams ya’ know like by looking at your eyes it’s filled with passion on everything”
“Oh boy, what a bluffer you are hahaah”
“Nah, I’m serious”, he said looking seriously at me
“Oh okay then, but still, I do not have a plan, I just want to live a simple life… you know get a degree and have a decent job for whatever course I’ll take and when I got savings I want to settle down and be a good wife and mother to my kids. I don’t aim to be rich, just in the middle”, and I winked at him
“Err, there you go again”… he said while avoiding my gaze
“What? What did I do?”
“Nothing”, he said
“So, it’s late now, ‘til we meet again mister”, I stand up and wave at him and started to walk. He just smiled and wave back.
It’s Monday which means I need to wake up early because I have a class at 7 A.M. and I woke up at 6 A.M. to get ready.
*~Ring ring~*
My phone rings, it’s Alex, my best friend and I answered it.
“Hello, sis, why did ya’ call?”, I asked
“Duh, as I have thought, of course you didn’t knew, argh luckily you have a best friend like me”
“So, what is it?”
“There’s a program at school and we should come early today. You need to be here at school at 6:30 A.M. alright?”
“What? So, you mean, you’re in school already? Is this really true? Hahaha”, I said because she’s not an early bird, thought she was lying tho’ hahahah
“Yep, believe it or not ahahah anyways, my crush is going to perform that’s why I came early hahaha”
“Thought so, you have a hidden agenda hahahh alright so I’ll take a bath now, ciao”, I ended the call and go to the bathroom
Our school is a ten minute drive from our house. I just grab a taxi and said the school address to the driver.
I came in our school at 6:40 A.M. and I’m sure that my bff will be mad at me for that ten-minute late. I started to walk to the gymnasium.
“Sisss,,, it’s already 6:50 in the morning why are you so late? The program will start soon”
“Alex, stop, alright? Don’t be so exaggerated hahahha”
“Whatever, come on let’s sit”, she grabbed me excitedly
“Good morning Fatimanians!!! I’m your emcee for today! This program must be held for the upcoming intrams and we must support all our players in different sports…”, the emcee just greet the important persons in our school and the program continues.
“And for the most awaited of all, the Knights!!!”, the emcee called the famous band in our school
My eyes were wide opened during the whole performance… why??? Why is he wearing our uniform?
The performance was finished and I’m still shocked, did I just saw him? The guy on the night market? Is he a student here? Gosh… I hope he did not see me
But I guess… he saw me as he is now walking towards my direction and guess what? My best friend were struggling my arm all the time and I think its dense now
“Hey, Mira!”, he called and waved at me
And I don’t know what to do, if I’ll smile or what
“Uhm, hi, Tristan, so… I did not know that you are… well, a student here?”
“I did not expect that too… so should we hang out often now?”, he smiled and Alex have this ‘*what-did-I-missed-look*’
“Uh… probably? Oh, this is Alex, my best friend and Alex, this is Tristan, my uh friend?”, I awkwardly introduced them to each other
“Oh, hi, nice meeting you Alex”, Tristan offered his hand which was immediately accepted by Alex, of course hahahah
Our class got dismissed immediately and Alex asked me a never unending question about Tristan and she said that Tristan was her crush but she will gave him to me, as if I had a crush on him hahhaha.
**END OF FLASHBACK**
Tristan was an awesome guy we became best friends for the past five years but after college we now had different lives, a different job and a different perception. He was now a famous main vocalist of the Knights, worldwide. He became successful and me… as I said before I just want a simple life so when he asked me to come with his management to become a trainee artist, I rejected him. I am now well… just living my life, happy and contented with my two beautiful angels and a loving husband.
I’m now in his concert, I bought tickets and I’m just happy seeing him like this, genuinely happy. The concert ends and we’re now walking towards the exit but someone called my name, no let me rephrase that, not someone, he, HE called my name.
“Mira!!!”, he ran towards me but his fans we’re not letting him to pass. And so, he said ‘please’ to them so he makes his way. He hugged me, he suddenly hugged me with that lot of audience. Oh, man, he must protect his image, ggrr… this guy.
“Mira, it was you… I’m right! Hahaha how are you? I missed you”, he was just smiling at me the whole time but when he noticed that his fans were capturing us through their cam, he grabbed me at the backstage
“You’re insane!” I smacked his arms
“Hahahah, for the past five years, that’s how you’ll greet me, you did not fail to amaze me, woman”, he unbelievably said
“So, how was it? My performance?”, he asked
“Well, it was fine”, I said lying again
“Hhmm, this scene was so déjà vu isn’t? Remember when we first met? I asked you about my performance and you also said that it was fine? You never changed, Mira. You still hurt my feelings, huh. Mira, I know that this is not the right time but ya’ know if I’ll not tell you this I might not have the chance anymore. So… may I ask if I can court you?”, he said… no… why did he said that? Why now?
“Tristan, I… I can’t”, I said teary-eyed
He looks confused.
“Hey, love, come on. Oh hello, man”, my husband hold my waist and our two kids hold my thighs
Tristan got shocked and became quiet, just looking at my husband’s hand and to our two kids.
“Goodbye, Tristan. We need to go”
It's J
I… am turning 20 for the next 2 hours and 43 minutes… and I can’t sleep. Maybe because there are some things that were running in my head. It hits me, you know, the fact that I am not belong to teenage years anymore. I feel pressured. I am asking myself of what I achieved at the age of 20. I did not think of saving money for the past nineteen years that I’m alive. I do not have savings in the bank or in my wallet. And the only thing that I did was to study… because I think that’s what I’m best at.
But sometimes, I’m pressured with the peers around me. Having new clothes, new shoes and new Iphone. They can buy what they want because they have a wealthy life. I’m not sayin’ that my family is poor; in fact, we’re in the middle class. But we did not raised by our parents to buy all the things that we want and that we should know the value of money to spend wisely. My family or relatives buys me new clothes, shoes and phone which I am thankful for but you know what I’m complaining? It’s because it did not came from my own money…
My dad spends hundred thousand for my tuition fee in nursing course and I do feel shy every time I am asking him to pay for my tuition fee. But of course, my parents felt that and they always say that it’s their responsibility to pay for it and what I just need to do is to study hard, pass the board exam and have a good job in the future.
So, I do study hard as in hard to the point that my focus is only for studies. I’m not active on my social media accounts anymore because I’m busy studying for our every day exam, it’s just like a battle every single day. I can’t do video calls to my best friend and my other circle of friends anymore because I always do activities even in the weekends but I’m pretty sure that they were busy too with their studies.
I get stress a lot of times. I procrastinated because of the endless task. I did have a mental breakdown. I cried at my bedroom every single night. It’s not healthy. There were no workouts anymore and even stretching my muscles because I think it’s a waste of time. I forgot having a “me time”, I forgot to care for myself. Yeah, it was exhausting… it was really exhausting.
Fortunately, we have a two-week vacation, yeah just TWO WEEKS, torture isn’t? But can’t do anything about it as it is required for freshies to have a summer class for the last week of this month.
But I’m grateful that we have a two-week vacation. Two weeks to compose myself again. Two weeks to know my worth. Two weeks to let myself motivated again. And two weeks to move forward again.
For the first day of my vacation, I woke up and just stared at the ceiling for how many minutes and then I decided to get up. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and comb my hair. I look myself at the mirror, I gained weight and my face looks puffy. I have eye bags too, I looked haggard and… dehydrated. I showered HYGIENICALLY, emphasized with that because for the last month that I’m readying myself for our final exams, I can’t even get a nice shower. I did my skincare for my face and my whole body. I tried to eat healthily but I think I cannot workout yet as my body is not feeling ready.
For the second day, I looked at the mirror again and see myself that I’m more okay than the first day which is good. I tried to get back my mojo. I tried to do my usual routine. I eat my pre-workout meal and afterwards I just did cardio workout. My sister invited me to watch a movie with the fam, of course, I gladly agreed instead of sleeping.
For the third day, I woke up late in the morning because of the movie marathon series haha. I looked in the mirror again and I do look happy. As usual, I eat my breakfast meal first before working out but this time I did some core workout gaining back my shape. In afternoon, I just read the novel of David Levithan and John Green entitled “Will Grayson, Will Grayson”. And at evening, I started to watch the series of Grey’s Anatomy.
For the fourth day, I woke up feeling light, with no school works to think and other stuffs. The first that I did is to stretch, yoga stretch. I feel relieved afterwards. I eat breakfast and do some core workout again. In the afternoon, I just played some mobile games and do some laundry, it was good for the arms, I’m telling you. In the evening, I video called my different circle of friends first and then I lastly video called my best friend because I know that we a lot to tell hahaha.
For the fifth day which is today, I just did some cardio again, showered, and visit my mother’s plants outside. We watched movies again and some vlogs. We cooked ‘adobong baboy’ and eat while telling random stuffs. It was a good moment for me because I missed telling my family such random stuffs without thinking anything.
And now, at this present time, it hits me that I’m turning twenty. I’m thankful to God that He gave me another year again to live.
Life is tough, isn’t?
But you know what, I just realized now, typing what’s in my head, that I just need to move forward and not to feel pressure. Because I know that in the next years that will come, I will earn what I invested. That I can return the care and love of my family to me in no time and that I need to be contented of what I just have now. That I should be thankful that my parents were supporting me for my studies. That I need to accept the fact that I’m still a student, with no job or any sidelines. I know that I can do things about it but I’m considering my mental health. I’m afraid that having work might distract my studies and worse have fail grades. I can’t take the risk…
But for now… I don’t want to think anymore such circumstances. I am now more looking forward for my birthday to come and for the remaining rest days that I have. Well… I guess, I’ll just live my life…
And what I need to do is just to ask myself of what is the reason why I started to take this path.
At her funeral
She was crying. Her child’s picture was above the coffin. She was smiling genuinely in that picture. I never thought that I will see that smile here, in her funeral. I smiled at her one last time before I left.
*Flashback*
It was five in the morning, after preparing for school; I decided to go to the near convenience store at my apartment. My parents abandoned me when I was a baby, they left me at the entrance door of some stranger, but that stranger is a loving woman, her name is Aunt Tina. She was at her thirties that time and was a widow, she had a child but she said that she lost her child. According to her story, at first she brought me to the police station and report that someone left a little baby boy in front of her door. The police took an action to find where my parents are but they failed to their mission. To make the story short, Aunt Tina adopted me. But we live separately for now as our house is far to the University that I’m studying at.
I pushed the door of the store. While I was looking for an instant breakfast meal, my attention was caught with a teenage girl whom I supposed was the same as my age, she was wearing a black hoodie and black hat. She seems uneasy with her surroundings, she was looking side to side but what I did not expect was when she swiftly grabs chocolates and some chips. I did not hesitate; I immediately walked towards her direction. Surprised and anxious was evident on her facial expression. I did not talked instead I hold her right arm and walked in front of the counter.
“Take out all of it”, I said referring to the foods she hides inside her shirt. Her eyes were wide-opened but she got what I was saying, so she followed what I said.
I get my wallet in my pocket and paid for her foods, I also brought a breakfast meal for the two of us. She was just following me while I walked at the table outside the store. I opened her breakfast meal and gave it to her. I know that she was uncomfortable as she was just looking at the table, bowing her head.
“Eat”, I told her.
Minute had passed when she decided to take my offer, maybe she was that hungry.
“Where are your parents?”, I asked her. I know that it was rude to ask such personal question but I got curious and it comes to my mind that I was probably like her if Aunt Tina did not adopted me.
She just looked at me, and then started to eat again. Of course, she will not talk to just some random guy. I was just observing her when she suddenly stand up and just walked away from me, yeah just like that she just walked away but anyway, I’m not mad at her maybe… she’s just shy? I don’t know.
I started to walk to my school too before I will be late for my first class.
Two weeks had passed, I saw her again…
I was walking on my way home at my apartment and I noticed a bunch of bad guys who was scorning her. I hated the view so I intruded on their little game. I kicked the first guy and then I punched the other and grab her arms to run.
We were chasing our breath when we finally lost the bad guys.
“Who are they?”, I asked her
“Why are you always interfering with my life? Don’t you have yours?”, she answered which I didn’t expect
“Wait, what?! I saved you to those guys and you’re not just going to say even a single ‘thank you’ huh?”, I yelled
“Who said that I need your help?! Psh”, and then she walked away again like she did last time…
I don’t get that girl but in some ways… In some ways, I’m curious about her life…
*Saturday*…
I usually jog every morning when it is weekend because these days were my only free time as I do not have a class. I locked my apartment’s door and start to jog outside through the stairs. The sun shines brightly, after I jog for almost an hour I ran back way to my apartment but I noticed the same girl that I saw here in the same convenience store near at my apartment. She was eating an instant noodle and after she finished eating, she just randomly stares at nowhere. She seems bothered every time I see her, she looks… she looks neglected or maybe she ran away from their home.
But why? Why my heart aches whenever I see her looking like that? Do I pity her? Do I?
“Hey”, I greeted her
She instantly stood up when she saw me, showing that she doesn’t like to interact with me.
“Hey, wait up”, I ran towards her
“That was rude”, I said to her when I easily pace up with her rapid walks
“Well, I am rude”, she said looking fiercely at me
“So… did you eat already?”, I asked her just to make the conversation long and obviously, I saw her ate earlier
“Hhmm, I’m sure that you saw me ate my breakfast already, so why are you asking, JERK?”, she said like I was stupid
“That’s not a breakfast, you moron! Come with me”, and just like that I grab her arms and make way to my apartment
She struggled on our way but stop when we are inside of my apartment. She observed her surroundings like an innocent child and I did not notice that I’m smiling while looking at her. This girl, I don’t know why I care for this girl…
“Hey, just feel at home alright? Sit there and wait for me”, I said calmly pertaining to the sofa at the living room
She just nod and that was a progress, isn’t?
I prepared two bowls of yogurt with granola, strawberries and blueberries. I walked to the living room and saw her looking at the picture on the side table; it was me and Aunt Tina.
“That was me and my Aunt Tina”, I said making her jump a little out of surprise
I gave her the bowl and said to eat.
“Aunt?”, she asked
“Yep, I considered her as my mom but prefer calling her ‘Aunt’, she adopted me”, I told her
“I hope I was an adopted child too…”, she said looking hurt
“Why? Are you an orphan?”, I carefully asked
“Well, I guess… I am homeless”, she said that changing her expression into a blunt face
“How did you survive then?”
“I have numerous job you know…”, she said and that made me shut my mouth, don’t want to ask about her “numerous job”. I am not judging her alright? I saw her twice in the street doing that kind of “job”. I can’t blame her though, life was too tough, isn’t?
“Uh… you know what, if you want okay? This is a clean offer, huh? I have two bedrooms here in my apartment, you can sleep here.”,
“No, thanks, I can handle myself”, she said
That was our last conversation and one month had passed but I never saw her again…
Until one rainy night, someone ring the doorbell of my apartment… I opened the door and saw the girl again, she was soaking wet with bruises in her arms and legs and the blood in her eyebrows made me panicked. I made her sit to the sofa and ran to my bedroom to get a clean towel for her. I soaked the towel with warm water in the bowl and wiped her carefully. I disinfect all her wounds with cotton and alcohol and put an ointment. I changed her clothes with my big shirt and boxer short; I closed my eyes while changing her. She was just asleep and looks fragile… what happened to her? Who made this to her? I carried her upstairs, in the guestroom, for her to sleep comfortably.
On the next day, I’m in the kitchen, cooking porridge for her. When the porridge was cooked, I put it on the tray and I put a glass of water too. I walked upstairs but she’s still asleep, so I just put the tray on the side table. I sit on side of the bed, intently looking at her angelic face. She looks innocent when asleep despite the bruise on her face. And then, I realized that I still do not know her name, haist what an amateur.
She slowly opened her eyes, looking in pain. She looks at me…
But I did not expect what happened next…
She hugged me and then she cried endlessly, she is breaking down…
I hate seeing her like this, I want to ask her but I chose not and let her cry on my shoulders…
When she stopped crying, I said that she needed to eat to gain her strength again but she refuses to eat. She just stares at the door of this guestroom, maybe something or someone was bothering her. I put the back of my hand to her forehead, checking her temperature; she’s still hot maybe because of the bruises and pain of her body.
“Hey, you need to eat…”, I insisted again and get the bowl of porridge. I hold the spoon and put it in front of her mouth. She just looked at it and then she looks at me.
“C’mon, young woman”, I said and then she eat after so many years, just kidding.
*~phone rings~*
I get my phone inside my pocket and saw Aunt Tina’s name on the screen. I answered the call.
“Hey, aunt, zup? Any problem there?”, I greeted
“Nothing, I just miss my baby boy hahahah”, she joked again, aish
“Aunt, I told you that I’m an adult now”, I complained
“Okay, old man, so what’re you up to this day huh?”
“Well, uhm…”, I looked at the girl while she eats
“Nothing, of course, just doing some… stuffs”, I said
“Oh, so do you mind if I bother you for a while?”, she asked
“What is it, Aunt?”
“Can you open the door for me?”, she asked that made me confused
“Huh? Pardon, please?”
“I asked if you could open the door of your apartment for me. I’m at your apartment, obviously”, she explained that made my eye balls out of its socket
“What?!”, I immediately ran downstairs and opened the door, and I’m telling you that she’s not jokingggg
“Hello, my babyyyy”, she pinched both my cheeks right away, hhaayy even though we lived for years, I’m still not used to her teasing side
“Aunt, stop it”, I said in a calm manner
“Why? Did you not miss your Aunt? Anyways, since I miss you I will sleep here for days alright?”
Oh crap, I suddenly remember the girl in the guestroom
“Uh, Aunt, I miss you too but is it necessary that you’ll sleep here for days? Can’t you just you know, uh visit me? I guess…”, I carefully said to not sound suspicious
“Why? Are you hiding something? Or maybe… you’re hiding someone? Who is it huh?”, then she looked at the guestroom and move her feet at the stairs as fast as she can so I cannot stop her. I ran towards at the door before her and blocked the door… but she pushed me aside which I did not expect that my Aunt is still strong, argh, I’m going crazy right now. I’m doomed.
She opened the door and saw the girl who sleeps peacefully again at the bed. And then, I looked at my Aunt who stopped talking and just looking at the girl.
Aunt Tina looked at me and asked, “Who is she?”
“Well, uh, she got bruises all over her body so I uuhh I took care of her?”,
On the next day, the girl recovered than yesterday and my Aunt slept at my bedroom while I slept on the sofa. And I saw my Aunt cooking breakfast for us in the kitchen. I just sit at the chair and watching her while she just smiles and when she finished cooking she asked me to call the girl and eat and so I did.
We ate together, I felt complete…
“Are you alright now?”, my Aunt asked the girl and she just nod
“Hhmm, thank you for taking care of me”, she politely said to me and I just smiled
And then, she looked at my Aunt and said, “Thank you”, with teary-eyed… I don’t know why she get emotional maybe because of her body pain?
“What’s your name, hija?”, my Aunt asked again
“Bella”, she said
*~Present Day~*
My Aunt and I were at Bella’s funeral…
The police called the telephone in our apartment the day after Bella left and told us if we know ‘Bella Anderson’ which made my Aunt grab the phone
“Anderson? Her surname is Anderson? What is her birthday? Did she have a family?”, she asked continuously and then I realized that my Aunt’s surname is ‘Anderson’, the surname of her late husband.
“Bella Anderson got shot by the head, ma’am”, that was the police’s last words when my Aunt cried on her knees…
When it rains
Rainy season. It was raining when I first saw him. I was at the shed, waiting for my brother to pick me up. I sat on the bench when someone with the yellow umbrella took shelter on the shed like I did. I simply glanced at him on my peripheral vision. He was wearing a school uniform from my school as I saw the logo of our university. He glanced at my side probably noticed that I was looking at him, so I immediately stare in front. He sat on the bench with a meter-space in our between.
I’m in ninth grade and I think this is the first time that I saw him. I mean, I am the representative of our batch so many students knew me and I knew a lot of students too because I attended numerous activities, meetings and seminars. Maybe he was in senior year or sophomore or in freshman year.
I glanced at him again and I got surprised when he was already glancing at my side too. I hold my chest because of the sudden act. And then he talked, “Um. Here”, he said not looking at me and giving a maroon hoodie he brought from his bag. I gave a confused expression because I’m literally confused of why is he giving me his hoodie.
“Uh? Do you have a crush on me?”, I asked with the hint of confusion and slight arrogance in my voice.
“What?! No, no,”, he suddenly blushed, swaying his both hands telling that it is not his intention.
“So why are you giving me this?”, I questioned holding the hoodie that he got for me.
“Your… uh…”
*“ how can I say this to a girl?”*, he whispers
“What?”, I still asked because he seems having some discomfort
“Your… your uniform is… is wet”,
Awkward silence filled the atmosphere…
Oh my goshhh!!! I immediately wore his hoodie. It was embarrassing argh, did he saw my uuhh my bra?! And what makes it worst was I’m wearing my spongebob pink bra. Huhuhu, it was my sister’s gift for me in my birthday, she had it customized and I love spongebob but I did not expect that she will give me a spongebob bra, my gashhh. I know that she was just teasing me and I did not wear this until today because I had no choice, my entire bra was on laundry and this was what left. Oh man, just kill me now. I’m doomed…
*beep beep*
“Hey, Chels! Sorry I’m late, got stranded on my way. Who’s hoodie are you wearing, anyways?”
Yes! Saved by my brother…
I did not answer him and just hop on the car and did not even look at the yellow-umbrella guy. Well, did not catch his name but probably not to coz’ it would be so embarrassing. Hope we could not bumped each other on school.
But do you know the saying, “What you wish not to happen will happen with ninety-nine percent accuracy”? Well, probably not, because I just made it haha…
I was making my way at the teacher’s office to pass the activities that they left us. I was hugging the papers with my both arms. While walking, some male students in the hallway were teasing each other like what boys usually do. When I was near in their location, I bow my head and said, “Excuse me. Please, excuse me”. But I think they did not heard me or they were just dumb and don’t care with their surroundings. One of them accidentally bumped my shoulder and so, expectedly the papers threw in the air. Aish, my blood boiled up but I composed myself because I’m the ninth grade representative, alright.
I just get the papers on the floor but someone talked and I knew that voice even though I just heard it in a short period of time.
“Hey, are you not going to help and say sorry to her?”
“Oh, Brandon did it dude. Hey Brandon, go help the junior girl”, the boy told that ‘Brandon guy’ whom I supposed the one who bumped on me.
When I get up, that ‘Brandon’ apologized and help me to get all the papers, they left me and the yellow-umbrella guy.
“Hi, you alright?”, he asked
“Yeah”, I just said and I was going to walk again but he grabbed my arm.
“Uh?”, he scratch his head like he was shy to talk but decided to ask, “Do you mind”, he was referring to the papers that I was holding.
“Yeah, sure”, I don’t know but I did not rejected his offer.
On our way to the teacher’s office he started a conversation, “So, you are in ninth-grade?”
“Yeah, and you?”
“I’m at senior year”
“Oh, I do always walked passed here in your hall and I think the first time that I saw you was on the shed”, I said getting comfortable
“Maybe because I usually skipped class”, he smirked
And then, my eyes got wide when I suddenly remember his hoodie and my bra, argh, erased that Chelsea, I was talking to myself
“I suddenly remember your hoodie, it’s not with me, and it’s still in the laundry sorry”
“That’s fine”, he gave me all the papers because we’re now in front of the teacher’s office entrance
“How ‘bout give it to me at the same place tomorrow? At the shed? After class?”, he asked smiling at me
“alright, that’s fine with me. Thank you for this”
“No problem, see you tomorrow”, he was waving like a little kid while making his way going back in their classroom.
I’m now here at the shed, waiting for him…
While waiting, rain started to drop…
And I saw his yellow umbrella again…
“Hey, sorry that I made you wait”, that’s what he said first when he came to the place
“That’s alright, here”, I gave him the hoodie back but he did not took it from my hands and said,
“No, you could take it”
“Huh? So what’s the purpose of meeting up here, mister?”, I said sarcastically but smiling
“Well, I also don’t know”, he said while looking at me
We gave our names to each other. And I learned that his name is “Claude”, what a unique name he got there
And then we talked as the rain pours by…
It was not the last time because every time it rains, we’re at our usual spot. It was like the rain was our signal to meet up…
Then, summer comes…
I still came in that shed whenever I missed him but he was not there… I walked several times in the senior’s hallway, but I cannot see him…
And I got tired… of missing him
I stopped searching for him at their classroom
I stopped waiting for him at the shed
I hope that it will rain right now, that’s what I always think but it did not…
I am now in tenth-grade, senior year. My life comes so slowly but has progress step by step.
I still think of him but maybe we cannot see each other again because probably he graduated last year and now in his college.
The rainy season comes and it made me smile. I don’t know but my feet led me in our usual spot, hoping that he was there waiting for me…
But… he did not…
Maybe, he forgot about me…
I decided just to go home. I did not eat dinner as I’m not feeling well, I just… I just wanted to sleep…
**Claude’s POV**
We migrated in America after my graduation. I did not attend the graduation ceremony as the fact that I did not have an award and it was also the day of our flight, so my father just contacted my Uncle Ben who’s the dean of our university to just get my certificate and diploma.
I missed her… Yes, I was talking to Chelsea. Every single day I’m praying to rain but I knew that it was impossible, I wanted to see her but I knew that he was not there. I came at our usual spot before our flight, waiting for her until midnight but she did not come, I wanted to bid my goodbye, I wanted to say how awesome she was and that… I like her… I just left a note in the part of the bench where she usually sits; I hope she can read this.
My life was a messed, my parents decided to have an annulment and I’m going with my father on States as my mother have a new family. I do not want to leave the country, I do not want to leave her but I need to… because I need to grow, we need to grow.
**Chelsea’s POV**
The sun is in its peak today which tells how good to start the day but it’s the opposite for me, it always was. I wonder how he is, I wonder where he was.
It is my graduation day as a college student. As I received my awards, certificate and diploma, I said to my family that I need some time to do something and that I’ll go home after to celebrate my graduation as they threw a party for me.
I walked to the shed… feeling nervous… I hope he was here with me even if it’s not raining…
I sat at the bench, in my usual spot… and I noticed a small paper stuck in the side of the bench. I get the paper and started to open it… I was curious
When I opened the paper, my tears suddenly flow as I read the words… “I love you”
Hugging the small paper, I prayed, I prayed to rain…
I stopped crying when I heard the drops of the rain… I lifted my head and I saw the yellow umbrella again…
Put yourself in someone else's shoes
Coronavirus or COVID-19 affects different people in different ways. People were scared, afraid to go outside of their house thinking that they might get infected. Healthcare professionals have invented numerous vaccines but none of it were fully-effective as some of it have side effects and worst, it can kill an infected and non-infected individual when injected. But what can people do about the situation right now? How can anyone help all the front liners sacrificing their lives?
Strong immunity. Strong immunity cannot completely kill the virus as it mutates and get resistant with the environment but having strong immunity can prevent and fight the virus. Here are some tips to get a healthy body to boost the immune system:
**First: Proper Hygiene**
Always wash your hands and disinfect with alcohol. Disinfectants can kill such microbes with the non-living objects that we are using. This is one way to prevent spreading the bacteria.
Whenever you get exposed outside remember to shower with warm water after a ten-minute rest to kill the bacteria that get stick into your body.
**Second: Drink at least 1.5 liters of water**
The human adult contains sixty percent of water. Water contains oxygen and nutrients in our cells. It helps to improve our metabolism, it moisturize our body that can help to produce enzymes that our body needs, it helps to maintain our blood pressure and temperature, it also forms saliva and mucus and etc. But water can also help to prevent the Coronavirus that most people were suffering right now. Covid-19 can be respiratory droplet transmission in air which means it can be transmitted if a person is in close contact with respiratory symptoms such as coughing or sneezing. Moreover, the transmission can also occur through fomites in the environment of the infected person. This can be direct or indirect contact. According to WebMD, water can help to prevent the virus as drinking water can wash the entire virus down our throat and ultimately into our stomach.
**Third: Eat healthy foods**
**CARBOHYDRATES:** Reduce your sugar intake. Most of the foods around us have sugar content. But you need to know the healthy sugar that you can take like the ‘natural sugar’ that the fruits have. Most of the Filipinos are eating ‘white rice’ for their carbohydrates intake but if you could possibly buy one of these including; oatmeal, potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, whole-wheat bread or brown rice for substitute that’s way better. For the reason, that white rice loss its nutrients because it’s been highly processed by the machine where it removed the germ or its nutrient-rich core. Conversely, the brown rice is just missing the hull or its protective coating which means it has the nutrients that we need. All these substitutes were high in fiber but you should eat it MODERATELY, high intake of these foods have its disadvantages too like diarrhea, bloating, and other illnesses.
**PROTEIN and LIPIDS:** Eat more protein than carbohydrates. Proteins like egg, meat, fish and milk. There is this what they call ‘Egg diet’ which people were eating eggs for their three meals and how many days they want to diet. This is an unhealthy diet because the content of egg cannot provide for all the nutrients and calories that our body needs, if you may notice they are all feeling dizzy, it may be due to the decrease of their blood. I recommend fish rather than meats because meat contains saturated and trans-fat which is not good for our body as it may increase our cholesterol levels and heart risk. Especially for the adults ranging from 40-year-old and up, maybe your parents or grandparents, we need to monitor their diet and let them eat healthy foods. However, you need to choose the fish that you are going to eat. Tuna, salmon, mackerel and sardines are included in the healthy fish as it contains protein, omega-3 fats and minerals which our body needs. But in the Philippines, this may be hard to find in the market when you are not living near in the ocean so I suggest the milkfish or our *‘Pambansang Isda’* as this is also rich in omega-3, minerals and protein. And according to the study, eating fish 2-3 times a week is healthy. You can eat meat too but not constantly.
**FRUITS AND VEGETABLES:** Eat a lot of fruits and vegetables as they are rich in minerals and vitamins. Fruits and veggies can be your snack if you are craving for something. This may help you feel satiated for at least four hours. Fruits that contain Vitamin C are what we need the most amidst this pandemic such as lemon, orange, apple and other citrus fruits. As Vitamin C can kill virus and boost our immune system but just like what I have said, eat it MODERATELY, as Vitamin C can cause digestive distress; diarrhea and nausea.
**Fourth: Exercise regularly**
Exercising our body can help to regulate our blood flow which is helpful for our different organ systems. It promotes a better sleep which helps our cells, tissues and muscles to rest. Exercise also control our weight, it burns the excess calories in our body which prevents us to different diseases such as diabetes and it helps to improve our metabolism. Furthermore, exercise boosts our energy, balance our mood and hormones.
It is better to have a Yoga stretch in your workout routine. This cannot help you to got a sexy body but remember that I am telling you this to get healthy. Yoga can help us to reduce our stress and anxiety. Many of us gets bored and sluggish as we are studying at our home or doing our job at home but it is good to stretch those muscles after spending hours in your chair and just typing with your computer or laptop.
Do some cardio workouts such as jogging, jumping jacks, using jumping rope, or dance at home. These can help you to have better blood flow in your body and burn the glucose or sugar that you ingested. These strengthen our heart and can reduce risk of several diseases.
Strengthen your muscle. Strengthening our muscle helps us to have a strong body. You will stay alert and active with your everyday routine.
**Fifth: Keep a clean environment**
Clean environment is essential for everyone such as cleaning the toilet, washing the dishes, and do the laundry immediately. This prevents illness as germs can spread far more quickly in an unclean environment and this ensures our safety.
**Lastly: Wear a Personal Protective Equipment or PPE when going outside and maintain Social Distancing**
Healthcare professionals regulates everyone to wear face mask and face shield and maintain social distancing when going outside or in public as PPE and maintaining such distance can help not to spread the virus.
In contrast, there are still people who cannot help themselves but to go outside because they need to work for their family, they need to earn money for their family. When I am watching the news there is this old man who got interviewed and he said that, “we are not afraid to the virus, we are more afraid if we die because of starvation”. At some point, I do not know what I will feel. I let myself to put my shoes on his position, he has family that he needs to feed and as a father it is his responsibility to work for his home but on the other side what if he get infected and his family will suffer worse?
We really have this tough situation. The frontliners have families too and some of them die with no help of the government. They will just get burned into ashes and their family cannot even take a look for one last time. It is hard to live with this toxic system. It is hard to prevent the virus because people do not follow the protocols.
If you are just going to go outside because you need to shop clothes, please just order online. If you are just going to swim and have a picnic with your family or friends, please do it at your home or do not do it at all. Think to those people who are sacrificing themselves just to save lives. We need to care for everyone. Help each other. And what we can do is **STAY AT HOME** and trust God to this crisis. Trust Him and pray to Him, because no vaccine can cure this virus and He is our only protection to this pandemic.
As what they always say, “Prevention is better than cure”.
Insecurities are beautiful
Beauty is beyond everything. It all started, when God gave us life, when we first opened our eyes into this world. As a young child we believed to those stories in fairy tale books, that it might actually happened in real life. But now, as we grew older, what is our perspective when we hear ‘that’ word. How can you define the word ‘beautiful’? Is it pertaining to the physical features that we have? Is it pertaining to our personalities, our characteristics? Or is it pertaining to the life that we have?
Every morning I will look at the mirror and ask myself if I am beautiful. Honestly, I am so conscious about my appearance, how do I look today? Is my outfit alright? Did my face get puffy again? Or did I gain weight? These are the questions that keeps my insecurities so high.
We are living in a society where appearance always matters. When you wear a jacket at a hot weather, you will catch their attention and asks you, no, let me rephrase that, they will tell you such offensive words like ‘hey, such a cold weather we got here eh?’ then they will laugh at their own joke that is not really funny for me.
Countless people will get to the gym just to workout because someone said that they are huge and the buttons of their clothes can pop out in no time. Countless people cannot eat nor sleep because they think what others may think of them. Countless people get affected by those insulting words and chose to hide in the corner or worst, they decided to just end their life because they cannot feel their worth.
Some of them changed but they changed not knowing who they truly are. They forgot their real self. They changed to impress those toxic people around them, they changed not for the better as they cannot feel the true meaning of happiness.
But you know what, all those insecurities that we have got is the definition of beautiful. Why? Because of those insecurities we are curious about something. We are learning a lot of things. And even Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty got insecure by Psyche. What if you change the negative mindset you have right now? What if instead of thinking their opinions as offensive words, you will take those words as the opposite way? We will go to gym or eat healthy foods not just to get skinny but we go to the gym and eating a balanced diet for our healthy body and mind. We are investing in skin care not because we want to get a pretty face but because we want to be hygienic. We are happy to dress ourselves not because we want to impress people but we are just simply happy about it. We can wear anything we want and try to ignore those bashers, just kidding.
But insecurity is not all about appearance, we can also get insecure at the things that we do not have, I mean those ‘material things’ that we do not have. Some of us will get motivated because of these but some of us picked the other way around. It is beauty that we want to achieve something in our life. It is beauty that we have dreams and we are working hard to fulfill it. It is beauty that we got passion and aspiration because of those insecurities. Everything that we do is beautiful depending on the intentions that we have.
Beauty is the confidence that we have. It is in our mindset. Loving those imperfections means loving yourself. Always remember that we are making our own beauty. Because the real definition of beautiful is us.
My mother has flaws, well, all of us have flaws. Every time that we are fighting on such petty things like normal siblings does, she will be doubted herself if she was a good mother, if the manners and knowledge that she taught us was not enough for us to behave, afterwards her eyes will get tear up.
She would not ask for help on doing household chores although she was already tired. She can easily adapt on what is trend because she wants to understand what are the things that we like. She will give us advice whenever she observed that we have problems in school, friends or in our love life and suddenly show her bright smile just to assure us that it will be fine, that everything will be fine.
She can get mad when she has to. She is not spoiling us when she thinks we do not need the things that we ask. We got curfew until six at night but we can get overnight at our friend’s house if it is about study and if she thinks that our friend can be trusted and the last rule is ‘no boys and alcohols allowed’. Maybe some of you think that our mother is quite strict but for us, it is alright. Of course, we are making silly things too. We sometimes break those rules. We will ask a permission to come over at our friend’s house to study but the truth is it was a slumber party. We sometimes go home past six at night. We are exploring our teenage life but our mother did not get mad at us instead she let us to explore, she let us to explore the dangerous world outside. But after all that happens, we will go back to her and ending up crying telling that she was right.
It is beautiful that we got a mother like her. Because if not, then we might not grow like the way we are now. We might not achieve the knowledge that cannot steal by anyone. We might not get motivated to study hard. We might not look for the dreams and goals that we want to reach. And it is beautiful that she raised us to be a religious person. She is beautiful because she let us see the world outside despite of how dangerous it is. She was beautiful when she told us that, “Life can be dramatic at times, life is full of challenges and problems but that what makes it beautiful. We can never see the true beauty of it if we will not look further but closely.”
We can keep a certain standard of beauty if all of us are contented on what we have. People are so obsessed of their looks. They want to always look young which cannot really happen because all of us have limited time in this world so why not make the most of it? It is not always about the looks that matters. If you get stuck just thinking about your looks all the time, what about the other things? You can travel at different country, at the different part of the world, met some random people, shop at different stores, eat a unique food or try new things that you never tried to do.
What is the matter if you have acne on your face? What is the matter if you are fat? What is the matter if your color is not white? What is the matter if you are too skinny? What is the matter if you are happy on who you are?
If you are one of those people who love to say an abusive word to a person or shall we say the person that you call as a ‘friend’, note the sarcasm please, then you are not destroying them but you are destroying yourself. Do not get affected by them because those people are the one who has numerous insecurities inside them.
It is quite outrageous when you attain that standard of beauty that society believes, perfect body, white and flawless skin, small skinny face and the white perfect-lined teeth. But the question is, are you happy? Are you happy that because you have ‘that’ standard of beauty you got a lot of friends or should I say two-faced friends? Are you happy because you have those branded things, everyone’s attention was on you? Are you happy that because you are a ‘chic’, all girls or boys wants you to be theirs, well, just to get popular at school? That was all an immature act, seriously, what is wrong with you people?
Beauty standards has been set by society. Most of us will compare ourselves on what society shows us. The society proclaim that women must wear makeup, women and men must do workout to get the right curves in right places, and stay young like we do not age. For these reasons, people end up to lose their self-esteem and the real perception of beauty because they did not attain the expectations that society wants which can lead to mental health issues and other illnesses.
However, positive people have different perspective of beauty. They are expressing themselves just the way they are. They are taking it as aspiration and passion to achieve their dreams in life. They believe that they are unique and authentic. They get affected by the toxic society but they can alter the situation, they will look at it as a challenge, a challenge that they want to succeed.
The standards of beauty have its own advantages and disadvantages depending on how you perceived it. We are setting our own standards of beauty. Beauty can be emotional, creative, and deeply spiritual force. There are people who thinks beauty is circularly about the physical appearance but there are also people who thinks that beauty comes from within, our personalities, attitudes and characters. But beauty is just simply being happy, healthy, and taking care and loving ourselves.
When I was fourteen, I thought being beautiful means having a great body like those celebrities in the television or having a smooth skin or a beautiful face with no pimples or wearing trendy clothes and shoes. But when I started to learn new things, to understand the people around me and when I realized what I want to be in the future, my perception got changed.
My grandmother whose skin was all sagged, her hair turned white, she now got a blurry vision, cannot hear properly and in her old age she cannot walk like the way she used to, she is using a wheelchair now as she got sick. One afternoon, when we are preparing to go to church, she is wearing a dress that is comfortable in her situation and she jokingly said to us, “Now, I cannot wear heels because I already have these wheels” then we laugh but we noticed her sudden changed of expression. My grandfather, her husband, whispered in her ears, “You are still beautiful in my eyes, Jo”, calling her at their endearment and hug her, my grandmother smiled and have that glow where you can say how they truly love each other. It was beautiful. They are beautiful.
In my middle school, I was in ranked number two. I thought my parents would get mad at me because I did not top as number one that time but when I saw them at the designated chairs for the parents of the honor students, I cannot believe that they are smiling at me while I am on the stage delivering my speech and my mom was even taking a video which made me a little bit embarrassed, well, just a little bit. Then after my parents worn me the medals while receiving my award at the stage, they said that they are so proud of me. Again, it was beautiful.
My siblings and I have a joyful relationship towards each other. We may sometimes fight but we have this strong bond that no one can break us apart. They are also my companion during the times that I am having a hard time adjusting to my new school. They will call me at my phone and said ‘Hey, do you still have class? Let’s go to our fave café?’. We are five children in the family, I have three sisters and one brother. My brother is cool, he may be the only son in the family and we have different likes and dislikes but we all have a common thing that we really like to do which are watching movie or anime and playing mobile legends. Once more, it was beautiful.
I also have friends who helps me to cope up. They are like my brothers and sisters. When I want to go out at my comfort zone, they are beside me. Of course, we have different lives too but we understand each other and giving space but whenever you are ready to tell your problems, problems that sometimes you cannot say to your family, they are there to listen even if it is just some of your random rants. Let me say it again, it was beautiful.
I am beautiful as I am contented on what I have, I am not talking about the material things that I can buy but I am talking about those people who made my life beautiful. God is beautiful. Every day and every night, I am thanking God for what I have right now and promised to Him that I will cherish all this moment and that I will take care of myself just like how He takes care of me. I am thanking Him because He gave me this life that even though it was full of challenges, He always gave me strength to help me surpass all the hurdles. And now, I realized that the word beauty is not about the pleasing appearance that everyone wants to see on us, it is about how we appreciate and see the beauty of life. I want you to remember that we are all beautiful.
High Hopes (Part 3)
“Hello, everyone! I’m Bentley Williams, hope we could all be friends”, and then he winked at the class or should I say to the girls? Psh…
He walked towards my side and slightly push my arm and then he sits with the vacant seat at my back. I turned to his side when our teacher is writing our lesson in the white board.
“What are you doing here?!”, I said that hinting the surprised tone on my voice while trying to low down my voice
“What? Isn’t it obvious? I transferred in your school”, Bentley replied like he doesn’t care of what I blurted
“Of course, it is obvious! But why are you here? I mean, how about your promotion being the captain ball next year?”
“Well, you know that basketball is important for me… but what is the essence of me playing with it when I can’t see my number one fan cheering for me?”, then he looked at me with his sad eyes
I turned around immediately because of that. I can’t look with that eyes… I think my face were burning red right now, ugh, my heart is beating so fast… I tried to calm myself down by inhaling and exhaling…
I am not talking and looking at Bentley during the whole class…
**Bell rings**
“Okay class dismiss”, our teacher said that casually
I walked to the cafeteria knowing that Bent is following me behind but I pretend that he’s not there. I ordered a slice of blueberry cheesecake and lemon juice afterwards I looked around to find a vacant seat while Bentley is ordering his food.
Honestly, I don’t know what to feel right now because he transferred here. It’s just that my plan to start finding some friends haven’t done yet and now that he’s here I feel like what I started had been destroyed already…
I sit beside the window and put my tray on the table. I started to eat when expectedly Bentley pulled the chair in front of me. I rolled my eyes at him.
“Hey, can’t you please don’t get mad at me?”, he calmly said
Still, I did not talk
“Oh, c’mon Jam, don’t you want me to be here?”
I just continue to eat my cake
“Hey, Bentley”… there are two girls wearing crop top or should I say bra whom approached him.
“Uh, hello”, Bent replied not to want sound so rude and immediately turned in my side again
“Oh, is she your girlfriend?”, the blonde asked
“Uuuhh”, I looked at him waiting for what he’s going to say
“Uuhhh, no, she’s---she’s just my best friend”, ouch that literally hurts even if it’s true
“Oh, that’s good then, hi I’m Brianna and she’s Trina”, the blonde offered her hand to me and I shook it as well as Trina
“Jamaica, just call me ‘Aica’”, I slightly smiled, then she turned to Bent offering her hand he shook her hand too like Trina’s while saying his name.
“So, you guys wanna come over tonight? We’re going to celebrate for the first week start of class, you know, to make some acquaintance?”, then Bent looked at me like asking me to join
“Yeah, yeah, we’re going, right Jam?”
“Yeah, sss---sure”, but my answer is not so sure, maybe because of their appearance? Sorry if I am so judgmental
“Alright, great! 10PM at **** ** **”, she gave her address and they left
“Jam, this is your chance, make sure you will some friends there alright?”, Bent said
“Well, I don’t know, you knew that it’s hard for me to approach someone right?”
“But it’s worth to try besides I’m always by your side remember that”, then he gave me a reassuring smile. And I just rolled my eyes…
It’s 10:30 in the evening when I heard Bent’s horn outside so I locked my apartment and hop to his car
“So, are you ready?”, he asked me while smiling
“Yeah, let’s go”, I said nervously
He started the engine and we made it for at least thirty minutes.
I am just wearing a red body fit dress and 3 inches pointed heels. And Bent is just wearing a shirt and jeans with white sneakers.
We entered to the place and everyone is so hype. There are some doing body shots, playing to the pool, dancing in the middle and some were just drinking while smoking. I think I’m not going to last in here for an hour. Ugh, I’m not used to the smell of cigarette and alcohol. And Bent was just looking at my reaction and he laughed.
“What?”, I aside
“Nothing, c’mon let’s get a drink”, Bent said while pushing me towards the bar counter
While Bent is getting a drink for us, Brianna suddenly came out to the crowd.
“Hey, Aica, I thought you’re not going to make it guys”, Brianna said, she is wearing a V-neck line dress that made her cleavage and boobs to pop out like a watermelon, just kidding, I’m just bitter because I don’t have those lol hahaha.
“Oh, hi Brianna” I greeted her
“Jam, here’s your drink, don’t worry it’s low content of alcohol”, then he winked at me. “Oh, hi there, Brianna”, he greeted Brianna
“Hey, Bent”, she said that made me angry like a childish woman, I’m just the one who calls ‘that’ nickname, argh
I think Bentley is aware that my temper goes up because he looks at my side
“Uh, Brianna just call me Bentley? I did not prefer to be called Bent other than Jam, sorry, hope you understand”, Bent explained
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know that, I thought that was everyone was calling you so…”
“Oh, it’s fine”
“So, let’s go, I’ll tour you around”, Brianna said to ease the atmosphere
“Hey, it’s alright, she seems nice, don’t take it seriously, alright”, Bent whispers on my ear while we’re following Brianna in front of us
I just smiled at him. I am not like that immature actually, maybe I just feel threatened towards her? I feel like she will take Bent away from me. I mean I’m not that beautiful, I really feel insecure.
**Author's note:** Please read the part 1 and 2 of this story for better understanding. Thank you😁
I hope you're doing fine...
High Hopes (Part 2)
I am now at my bedroom, changing clothes and I left Bentley at the living room. I called my dad awhile ago to tell that he has a visitor downstairs but I don’t know if dad was already there so I quickly changed into loose shirt and shorts. I ran downstairs and saw dad and Bentley laughing with each other like Bentley is his son.
“Yeah, I remember when you pulled my shirt that day hahahaha”, I am hearing their conversation as I walked towards them.
“hahahah that’s just because I thought you’re just gong to leave me like that”, Bentley replied to dad like they are reminiscing such memory.
“Oh, hi sweety, I see that you and Bentley are friends”, Dad said while smiling widely at me
“What? No, we’re just classmates dad, he’s not my friend”, I immediately denied
“I told you Tito Hex, she loves to hurt my feelings”, Bentley acted and so I gave him a deathly glare
*Two years had passed*
And I never thought that the day will come that he will become my best friend…
“Hey, why are you crying?”, I am hugging both of my knees while sobbing, I’m in my room, I locked myself here when Bentley called over the phone
“I am adjusting at my new school…”, my tears were continuously flowing under my eyes. We’re now on Senior High School and I requested to my parents to let me be independent so I got my new apartment but I came home because I got home sick for five days and it is Saturday so it’s alright for me to go home.
“Do you want me to come over?”, Bentley’s voice was so calm
“No, no, I’m fine just do what you need to do alright? I’ll end the call now, bye”, I ended the call and just sleep
*Knock knock*
“Honey! Honey! Bentley is here!”
I woke up because of what my mom said, what is he doing here? I opened the door and told mom that I’ll come downstairs in a minute. I came back into my room again and looked at the mirror if I have saliva on the side of my lips but I saw nothing so I just brush my hair quickly and ran downstairs.
“Hey, I told you that you should do what you need to do right?”, I sit on the couch across where he is sitting
“Yes, yes, I heard”, he said and come next to me so he’s now on my side
“So, why are you here?”, I asked
“Because this is what I should do?”, he said like he’s asking himself and turn his head to my side
And what he said made my mouth to shut. And then he raised a plastic with a gallon of ice cream inside. I immediately took it from him hahaha, he really knows how to make me smile.
“Come on, let’s go to your room and watch SpongeBob”, I laughed by what he said
We go into my bedroom after I get a permission to my mom because dad was gone as he is working until late at night.
We watched SpongeBob but our focus is not on the laptop because he was telling jokes and how bored he was that I was not in our old school. He also told me that he was going to be the Captain Ball next year and so I congratulated him.
“Can’t you just go back to our old school?”, he suddenly said while looking at my comforter
“Bent, we already talked about this right? I want to be independent now, we’re now sixteen”, I held his hand comforting him
“So, are you saying that I am not independent?”, he pointed at himself slightly laughing
I jokingly slapped his head and said, “Of course not, you know that I want to make friends with other people”, I continuously defend
“So, you’re not considering me as your friend? Am I not enough?”, he is teasing me repeatedly, oh this man tsk tsk.
“Duh, you’re my best friend and I want to go out in my comfort zone”, I rolled my eyes
“Ah, so, I am your comfort zone?”, he raised his eyebrows up and down while smirking at me
“Jerk, psh”
He was always like that to me. He’ll go to our house and visit me whenever he doesn’t have training or whenever he wants to. My dad and mom were used to him. And sometimes, when I’ll go at our breakfast table to eat, he’s already there eating like a pig hahaahaha just kidding. He always came to our house for us to go to our school at the same time but now that we got separated and I got my new apartment, I don’t know our new set up. But I’ll just cherish this moment that I’m with him.
Sunday comes and I am now at the mall with Bentley, he slept at our house last night after we catch up. I wonder sometimes where he lives. I know we are best friends but he was not telling me where he lives and who’s his parents are so I’m clueless. There’s a time that I was ignoring him for about one week because I kept asking him about that but I noticed that he will became uncomfortable when that is the topic so I chose just to give him the privacy and I think I’ll just wait for him when he’s willing to open that up to me.
We hang out on Sunday, he accompanied me to the mall coz’ I want to have a thread on my eyebrows and we go to his favorite store of sneakers, he bought one again and he treat me into our fave café. We also shopped, I bought some sweat shirts and he bought a bucket hat and belt bag. After that, we played at the arcade to release some stress. And it was so effective for me, I even forgot that I need to go to school tomorrow after that day.
It is now 10PM and we’re now at our home and Bentley was still here because he said that he will drive for me at my new apartment which is fine with my parents. I already packed my things which is not that much as my needed clothes were already there at my apartment. It is a four-hour drive and it’s 3AM when we got there. I told him that he can sleep at my apartment’s guest room because it is already early in the morning and he did not sleep yet but he refused so we just bid our goodbyes and I thanked him for comforting me.
I slept for another two hours and it was enough for me because I got some sleep at Bentley’s car. I showered for thirty-minutes, brushed my teeth, combed my hair and wear our uniform and oh I forgot, my glasses. I begin to invest on my skin and my pimples were slowly healing. I just ate oatmeal with blueberries for my breakfast. When the clock turns to six, I left my apartment and locked it. I started to walked and after five-minute walk I am now at my classroom. When I came inside, all of them have their own world. Some of them are talking about the new k-drama, some of them were playing MLBB, some of them were sleeping on the desk and some of them doesn’t care what’s going on.
I walked towards my seat and our teacher came for about fifteen minutes. He is discussing about Earth Science which I am so fond of, so I am so focused on every word that our teacher was saying when there’s a knock on the door which disturbed the whole class.
“Excuse me, sir”, Ms. Hernandez said getting the attention of our teacher
“Yes, Ma’am? What can I do for you?”, our teacher replied
“Well, you have a new student in your section as the dean instructed. Come here, Mister? What’s your last name again, hijo?”
“Williams ma’am, Bentley Williams”, my eyes widened when I heard his voice
Oh My Gosh what is he doing here?
**Author's note:** I recommend you to read the Part 1 of this short story, just visit my account and you'll see it there. Thank you for reading this😁
How can you see me?
Who am I inside and outside of our house? That question keeps bothering me until now. Honestly, I don’t know how to answer that question. I am now thinking if I do have different personality whenever I am at home and whenever I am with my friends. Do I act differently? Maybe… How do they see me? How do I see myself?
It was a sunny afternoon when one of my closest friends told me that I am so serious when it comes to study. What makes them think like that? Maybe because they can see me holding a thick book whenever I go to school and reading it so early in the morning. But the real reason behind it is I did not review our lesson and we have an upcoming quiz that time. I finished all the episodes of the season one of Umaru that night. I did not regret my decision that time though because that’s my way to release my stress and of course, I knew the consequence after I chose that.
Then I asked my sister on how she sees me. She said that I am so focus at everything. I did not know that. She told me that whenever I opened my laptop to do my assignments, I can’t hear what they are telling to me. For instance, there’s this one time that she goes to our bedroom and ranting about something that did happened to her that day and all I just say is “Yeah, yeah” and I will just nod, that’s how I act according to her. Then I remember my close friend who told me that I am serious when it comes to study, maybe she was right? (sorry, I’m not so sure).
My sister also said that I do like to interfere with things but it is just because I do care about what they are doing. Like when my mother will eat a lot of rice. I would stop her because I know that it can be bad for her health as she can get diabetic with that. I did explain it to her but I think she get emotional because she thinks that I don’t want her to eat what she wants. It is hard though, it is hard for me to express myself to them.
I can see myself as a hot-tempered woman. I like to rant when I am mad on such stuffs. And I can easily get mad when I dislike some things or someone. But my best friend told me that she can see the good in me. And that really meant a lot for me. She said that I do bad things at times but she can see my reason why I did that.
I am so sensitive at times too, I can easily be hurt if you would tell such offending words but I am not going to burst in tears or go to the corner and suddenly got depressed. I will just shut my mouth and will think that maybe she/he did not mean what she/he said. Well, that’s how the world works, you can meet a person by chance that would make you feel upset but it just depends on us if we will resent that person or just forget about what that person said.
Back then, I can see myself as a rebel child because I always got in trouble when I am in my middle school. It was fun though, just kidding. And then, when I get home, my father will scold me although I did not start the fight. Well, trouble was always following me around. Whenever that happens, I will go to my Grandma’s house. And then, I will cry out loud to her.
“Lola, do you think I am now a rebel child? Am I bad because I usually get into fight?”, I asked her while still sobbing.
“Of course not, honey, who said that you are a rebel child? Who said that?! Lola will scold that person”, she jokingly said and I finally laughed, drying all the tears I had.
“Apo, you are so lovely into my eyes. Remember this, just avoid those bullies. Don’t come near them, alright?”, her voice was like a lullaby into my ears so I am always remembering those sentences in my mind. My relatives said that they can see me as a jolly and lovely person. Whenever I am at vacation in Lola’s house which is now, we considered as the “Family’s house” of all the relatives since my Lola died, I love pestering my Aunts, Uncles and my cousins out there, telling such silly jokes to make them laugh and playing outdoor games or board games with my cousins. I chose to be jolly and lovely for them though, I want them to see me in that character because I know all of them are still sad since my Lola’s death. I am hurting inside too, she was my favorite Lola after all. We’re so close and I really miss her.
When I am at my senior year, I begun to get conscious with my appearance. Thinking that I get bullied back then because of my big glasses and pimples. My dad gets me a dermatologist to heal my pimples. And so, it got healed. But that scenario led me to another level. I started to get obsessed with how I look. I was crying when I get even one pimple in my face. I am ‘that’ conscious which was so unhealthy. I was also a body conscious. I was going to gym four times a week. I was desperate to have that perfect body which I dreamed of. There’s this time that I was not eating at all, thinking that I will get fat if I will eat but the fact is, I was born skinny. My mother got mad at that moment, who wouldn’t right? I was killing myself. As expected, after that incident I got sick. And the first thing that I did is to pray to God. I said to him that give me one last chance and I will properly take care of my body like how he takes care of me. Fortunately, the findings were alright and my doctor just prescribed me some antibiotics and medicines for my stomach. Because of that happenings, I learned how to love myself. I do have a meal plan now and doing sufficient workouts. I am now living healthily, I owe my life to Him.
I am a religious person as my parents taught us to be one. They guide me and my siblings to know God which I am so thankful for because whenever I am at my lowest, He is my strength, whenever I have achievements, He let me achieve those. I will never get tired of asking for His forgiveness when I am at fault. I will never get tired of thanking Him that He gave me and my family, lives. I will never get tired to worship Him and I am proud of it.
Frankly, I am so eager to have a job but I am still studying. I am so eager to have a salary on my own. My friends are wondering why am I saving money if I can get it with my parents’ pockets. No, I hate that idea. I want to save money because I want to experience to give money to my parents. That is one of my dreams though, I want to see their smiles when I will give my first salary for them. I know it was a long way to go but I want to save for our future.
I really can’t figure out how I act with my friends and family because I think my personalities were just the same. I love to tell jokes, do some silly things, tell such stories, play games or watch movies and anime. I can do all those stuffs together with my friends or together with my family. Maybe, it is because I am so open with my family? Or maybe because I am considering my friends as my family too? Actually, my family knew all my friends and I do always get permission if we hang out but most of the time, I am just staying at our home because simply I love to stay at home although I have a lot of different circles of friends and they love to invite me to come over and hang out, I sometimes come with them but it is just that I prefer to stay at home because my friends and I can see each other again at school so I chose to just spend my time with my family at weekends or go to our Family’s house.
So, I guess this is me, I love to do such crazy things, hot-tempered and sensitive woman, loves to study to achieve my goals, conscious with my appearance but now in moderate, a religious person and I love to be with my family and friends.
Credits for the lead image:
https://unsplash.com/photos/Z-5i0RVukdU
High Hopes (Part 1)
It all started in middle school. We’re both 14 in our junior year. But the thing is we’re so different, he’s way too different from me. He’s popular, talented, sporty and he had too many friends. Well, I don’t have all those stuffs and the only thing that I have is my brain. I mean, of course he has brain too but not to mention my 149 IQ. I am a nerd with so many pimples to the both sides of my cheeks, wearing a nerdy glass and my hair was so always messy (duh it’s just because I am not so obsessed with my looks that time, oh alright I’m just being defensive of how ugly I was).
And then, one day my teacher in our Music class called him and make him sing in front of us. My jaw literally dropped when I heard him sing. His voice was so romantic that can make my heart beats so fast. I don’t know why I felt that way maybe I am just too mesmerized.
He looked at me confusedly, maybe because my expression was too exaggerated for him (haha). Imagine that I am intertwining my hands in front of my chest just like when you want something and saying the word “Please”, with a teary-eyed, uuhh hilarious. Even now, I can imagine myself what I looked like back then.
On my P.E. class my teacher was checking attendance and we’re just patiently waiting to say the word “Present, Sir”. Among them, I am the one who has the most patience because I am the last to call as my surname starts with the letter “V” and he finally mentioned my surname, I do say the magic words “Present, Sir”. As I said it, he actually looked at me once again. I wonder why.
The bell rings which means our “Break Time”. I am at the cafeteria, all alone with my seat, when he grabs a chair beside me. It was an unexpected act though. And so, I stayed silent coz’ in the first place I don’t even know how to interact with him or to other people.
He fake-coughed beside me to get my attention so I turned my side to him. “Uh, hi”, that’s his first approached to me.
“Hey”, I replied.
“So, uh I heard that your surname is Vedas, do you know Hexter Vedas? Oh sorry, I’m Bentley”.
“Uhh”… Mygosh I’m stuttering, what am I supposed to reply! Forget it! I’ll just go with the flow, I guess. “Oh, what a weird name!”, what?! Did I just tell him that his name was weird? Oh gracious, I must be insane! And so, he laughed with my remark…
“What’s your name by the way?”, he asked.
“It’s—it’s Jamaica” (hhooo I feel my sweat all over my face).
“Okay, Jam, so do you know Uncle Hex?”, he asked again.
“Yeah?.. I guess,,, my father’s name is Hexter Vedas, why? do you know him?”
“Yup, he’s my savior”, he said while smiling at me
“What? Savior? You mean my dad is your savior? How come?”, I asked with a furrowed forehead
“Well, that’s a llloonnggg story to tell”, he really said it that lonnnggg, ahahahah he was funny and cool but I was so awkward with the throwing looks of the students around us or should I say they’re throwing deathly glare on me?,, So assuming isn’t? But I already stood up.
“Hmm, nice to meet you Mr. Bentley, I’ll go ahead now”, I’m pointing at the exit, making him understand that it is so uncomfortable with me and that I am just no one so why is he talking with someone like me?! Seriously?! What is he up to?!
He looked around and caught the students who were looking at us questioningly but he just shrugged his shoulders like he doesn’t care at all. I rolled my eyes because of that. Is he not aware of how famous he was at school and even our teachers are so favorable with him? So unfair, tho. I did not wait with what he was going to say and I just turned my back at him and started to walked outside the cafeteria.
“Hey, Jam, wait up!”, he shouted and wow he already made a nickname for me?! He thinks that we’re already close? He must be insane sheez…
It was our History class and I wonder why my seatmate, Claire, is now at the back of the class but anyways, it’s not that I can ask her about that, it is not my concern anymore because even once we did not try to communicate so I just let her go, maybe she got tired of my face or so.
I sit on my designated chair beside the window. And then, I saw his face again but this time he looks happy because I can see his white teeth forming a wide smile but it became wider when he glanced at my side. What a weird man. Why almost of the students here were so in love with this man again? Now, I am asking myself that question. He looks creepy in my eyes though.
“Mornin’, Jam”, psh he said that nickname again, I hate that nickname, I prefer to be called ‘Aica’ or something he wants to call me but not that nickname, oh please.
“Hey”, duh I have no choice I don’t want to sound so rude you know. He sits beside me and so I looked at Claire again and she was looking at her seat who is now occupied by Bentley and as expected she stand up and walked towards her former seat.
“Hello, Bentley. Wanna come over at my house?”, yes, you read that just right. She did not ask Bentley to leave her seat but she asked Bentley to come over at her house. Well, it’s just normal in our age tho, and I am just the one who is not normal here coz’ I’m quite conservative ya’ know.
“Uh, thank you for your offer but Jam and I already have plans today so… “, I immediately looked at him, surprised by what he said. What? What is he talking about? Fortunately, Claire just walked back to her new seat.
“Hey, what was that?”, I said slightly mad because it feels like he is using me
“What? I’m just stating the truth”, he said smiling
“And who said that we already have plans?”, I said with gritted teeth
“Me, I decided that I’m going to your house this afternoon after our class”, he said raising both his eyebrows, teasing me
“And who are you to go to our house? We’re not even friends”
“Ouch, that literally hurts huh,” he said while touching his chest where his heart is, faking like he really got hurt
“hahaha don’t worry, my real agenda is, I’m going to visit Uncle Hex, because I never got a chance to ask where his house is and so I met you which I am thankful for”, he is smiling from ear to ear. He looks crazy. I did not reply because I think that was the longest conversation that I ever had with other people. Of course, I’m not like this at home. I laughed and talked with my parents. But it’s kinda sad as I am the only daughter that they had, so I don’t have someone else to talk to. Honestly, I envy those who had sister or brother, I wish I had one but yeah, my parents were enough tho’. That home is my comfort zone, my family is my comfort zone.
Our teacher came in before I composed my reply so I just turned my head in front and decided to listen with the lesson. But Bentley is distracting me because I can see in my peripheral vision that he is sleeping. What if Mr. Hawkins, our History teacher, will get mad at him? How wise of him that he has the book in front of his sleeping head covering him, ugh note the sarcasm please, come on that was very old trick! So, I slightly move my chair beside him and shake his chair a little, trying to wake him up. He turned his head to my side but still leaning on his desk. And then he suddenly winked at me and put his pointing finger in front of his lips, trying to shush me.
What a jerk! I just rolled my eyes at him, I hope that Mr. Hawkins will scold him, that would be fun!
Afternoon had come and our class finally got dismissed which I hope did not because Bentley were following me behind! Ugh, and he kept saying things that would annoy me like ‘why are you always alone at our class?’, ‘Do you want to be friend with me?’, ‘Hey I’m nice’, or ‘why your hair is so messy and what’s with this big glass? Can you remove it?’ and such stuff. He’s so talkativeeee!!!
So, I just walked so fast but of course he can cope up with my pace because of his large steps. We took a cab and he just kept talking and talking like there’s no tomorrow. He even told me what his hobbies are, that he likes to stream, playing games in his phone,watch anime or read manga and his favorite is One Piece, he likes to sing and listen to music, he loves basketball which is I already knew because he is a basketball player in our school and he likes to cook which I did not expect. Actually, I think that we could get along because what he likes is the same as mine. Especially, when I heard that his favorite character is Zoro hahaha I want to talk about One Piece with him that time but it’s just that we barely knew each other so I just let him talk and talk until we finally get to our destination which is our home.
Credits for the lead image:
https://unsplash.com/photos/ZShQeCoFHp0
He was that little boy
Today is my brother's birthday. And this afternoon, our family are going to my Grandparent's house to celebrate his birthday. They are currently preparing and cooking outside our house before going to *Lola and Lolo*.
I can't believe until now that my brother reached his seventeenth birthday. I noticed that he changed, he changed in a good way. He became matured now when handling things. And maybe, he got a girlfriend for himself hahahha.
I remember yesterday, when we're (it's just me and my sisters coz' our parents were out and the birthday celebrant is still asleep) eating at our breakfast table, when our youngest sister told us a story. She said that she acidentally heard our brother having a late night video call with someone.
I realized that he became secretive with us now, he is not anymore our little boy who used to pee in his bed. He is not anymore my little brother who used to crashed all my dolls' heads when we were young. He is not anymore my little brother whom I love to annoy. He grew.
At times, even if I am her older sister we still fight but I am always the one who is at fault and I knew that. Well, I can't hold my emotions especially when the red flag is rising. Even the littlest things can change my mood. And honestly, the reason behind it is I missed our fights when we were just a little kid. The thing is he will just stay quiet if I get mad and he will give me a peace offering afterwards.
Our brother became sweet with us. I can't imagine how he feel that he is the only son and have four sisters around him. Is he getting awkward when we're with him? Is he embarrased when we are still messing up with his hair even we're in public (not to mention that he is now taller than us) ? Is he annoyed whenever we called him in his old nickname? Those questions were running in my mind right now. And maybe we should adjust too? And respect his privacy right?
I am the type of sister who loves to interfere with my brother's lovelife. Hahahha it was fun though. Because of our two years gap we were going to the same middle school but I left him and my youngest sister in that school four years ago as I got new school in my senior high and I am now in college.
Way back then, when I am still at middle school my younger brother introduced me with his new circle of friends and they were cool. I am treating all of them as my younger brothers too. Maybe it was the beginning of him going out in his comfort zone. And as a childish sister ever, I told his secret with his friends and they were all laughing with my story. That time, I am wondering why they were laughing. He got mad at me and we did not talk for atleast one week. And then when I get older, I realized that I embrassed his ego with his friends. Well, you can't blame me because when we girls talk about such stuffs we're just going to get sensitive and we will forget it easily then we're going to hug hahahhaha. Perhaps, that's the difference between boys and girls. There are things that we does and boys doesn't and there are things that boys does and we doesn't.
I started to noticed how my brother became now concious, as in concious, concious in everything. Like when he go outside and hang out with his friends, he were showering with his manly perfume, he got his sneakers on and his outfit is so millenial. And the funny things is he is way more fashoinable than us.
But I love how he changed because he became understandable and got principles in life.
It is fun to have a brother. He would tell such jokes or do some weird dance that would make us laugh if one of us were stress with different reasons. He will invite us to play Mobile Legends or have a movie marathon at night or watch the latest episode of one piece (which I don't have a time to🥺). He would tell advices if we have problems. He would help us in our assignments if we have no words to answer in English, or he would calculate a difficult problems in mathematics and he is my science buddy. He will offer his help that he can do for us.
And if my brother will get a chance to read this right now, I just want you to know that we will still mess your hair even if you get older than seventeen hahahahha.
I think I will end my story now because my mom are calling me now outside hahahha. Thank you for reading this and wish me luck with my endless examinations, just kidding. Byeeee.
Credits for lead image:
https://unsplash.com/photos/_xU_My3kVVg
I saw her again
“I just want to vanish in this world”. “Sorry if I am stressing you out, I can’t help it”. “Sorry if I am repeating my wrongdoings”. “Sorry for my existence”. “Sorry if I cannot live the way you wanted”. “Sorry if I am like this”.
Those sentences came from her mouth. It breaks me. Every time she said those sorry, it made me to tear up. I never knew how she became like that or where is she coming from. I talked to her once, I asked her why she always says sorry. She never opened it up until in that hours of darkness.
“She locked me up into that room. I can hear different voices inside my head. Fear, that is what all I can feel. I want to go out. I tried many times. But she kept checking on me. And the only thing that I can do is pretend to be asleep. Every morning she never get tired to tell me those harsh words. She slapped my face many times whenever she goes home. She looked at me like I was her sin. She was not satisfied so she casted me away into that house. I have nowhere to go. I have no one by my side. I do not know when to start and how to start my life again. She is my everything”.
She was suicidal. She said that she cannot love herself because she was her mother's sin. She never met her father. She is the only child because her mother got pregnant by her at an early age.
My heart really hurts when she told me that. I met her in middle school. I considered her as my friend but I am not sure if she considered me as her friend too. She never interacts with our classmate. She never goes to cafeteria because obviously she does not like people around. She never participates in class. She does all the things just by herself.
Five years had passed when I saw her again. I am at the entrance of the mall.
I saw her laughing with her friends, she seems happy. I think she noticed that someone is looking at her so she glanced at my side. I smiled. I smiled because I saw her having someone by her side. I smiled because she seems beautiful wearing that genuine smile. I smiled because I am happy that she is happy. And then I realized that she survived. She survived regardless of the things she had been through. She lived.
She never had parents to look after her, to care for her and to love her. She gets the attention that she needs by meeting her friends. She learned by those people. She learned how to smile. She learned how to talk even though it is just random things. She learned to enjoy her life despite her conflict. She learned to build herself again. And maybe they motivated her to go on.
When I walked towards the National Book Store, someone grabbed my arm. So, I looked back. It was her, automatically I smiled.
“Hey, long time no see”, I said, slightly awkward.
“Hello, it’s been a long time. How are you?”, she asked lighting up the mood.
“Well, just fine. You? How about you? How have you been?”, I questioned her with my concerning eyes
“I am doing fine now. Thank you anyways, I did not even have the chance to thanked you back then”, she said
“There is no need to thank me. I did not even do anything”, I honestly said
“No, you are a big help for me. I am so devastated that time and you listened to me. I have no one to talked to”, sadness was evident to her voice. "So, thank you”, she sincerely said and hugged me.
It was overwhelming.
We have different conflicts. And we are so blessed that we still have our parents, family or friends to support us. They are the ones who shaped us. We learned something from them that they never knew. They somehow influenced us the way we act, the way we response or the way we communicate. They can also persuade us to try new things. As…
“No man can live just by himself”.
Credits for the lead image:
https://unsplash.com/photos/yNz1S-Ua-Mc
@sweetnurse
