Prioritize loving yourself

We all have our own unique techniques or strategies in showing our love to someone else. Because of that, we have different experiences when it comes to love, we have different traumas, and way of moving on. But in this article, I will share with my experience with my latest past relationship. I hope you'll not get bored on reading this. This is also the reason why I became inactive in this platform as well as noise.cash.

In the beginning of my past relationship, it was full of joy, that time I was thinking that we are the best couple. Actually, we are classmates, so before the pandemic we are always together, since we attend the same courses. We are always there for each other when someone needs help in understanding the lessons, or doing problem sets and homework. We always cherish the moment that we are together even though the day was a tough one for us.

But of course, misunderstanding is an integral part of being in a relationship. The only solution for that is to talk about it and help each other to understand the reason of misunderstanding, accept it and forget about it. Yeah, it is hard to accept some of the reasons, but if you love them, you'll accept it. At first, we're okay, we can handle things out, and brought us back into making a happy moments, again.

But when pandemic started, the pressure she puts on me starts to rise. I don't know if she intended it or she doesn't know that she's putting pressure on me. I didn't tell anything about this pressure, I keep this to myself. The pressure that I mean is that she was comparing me to his cousin, she will tell me that "tingnan mo yung pinsan ko, pinuntahan yung girlfriend nya," so as a man what should I feel? That happened severely, without thinking that I am still a student and her cousin was already an employee. But, I still keep it and act like nothing was wrong on us, because all I want is for our relationship to work and be happy.

So when the restriction of our province became GCQ, I went to her and bought some food, para naman makabawi kahit papaano, kasi matagal na kaming hindi nagkita. I thought she will not repeat asking me to go to her, because that time, going to her town is not easy, there were checkpoints I need to face, so if I always go out, I will run out of alibi, and also gas was so expensive for me because I am still a student then we attend class online so I don't have allowance to save some money.

Then time came that we always argue. Before I always accept all of her anger, her words. I remain silent until she calm. But she didn't know how many times I cried at night because I can't fight for myself. I do this kind of attitude because I don't want to make the situation worst.

Then this time come that I explode, I can't handle, control myself and instead of making her calm, I always fight back so the situation became worst, it happened repeatedly and became the reason why we broke up. Since then, I became tired to fight for our relationship, though she still texting me, I don't want to reply. I am sorry for the promises I've made.

I am now bringing back my old self which is active in socializing with this kind of platform, exploring things, making money at home and planning for my family future. I think it is time for me to prioritize the need of myself. Me first, now.

I hope you don't get bored, this is my first article after 3 or 4 months being messed up. hehe Thank you every one. Leave a comment below if you mind it. I love you guys!