"I Can Decide for Myself!"

|11.07.2021| 6:58 pm.

Have you experienced being an underdog? Have you come to the point that you just want to end it, for good? Or seek ways to get your chances to win?

What's up my fellow read.cashers!☺️👋How's your Sunday doin'? Have you attended the mass today? What have you learned after listening to the Homily? And by the way, please do take good care of yourselves, huh!

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Lately, I felt like I was in a battle where I can't have any chance to win it. I mean, a kind of situation where I can't even have my chance to say or express my side towards the issue that they thrown at me, because aside from they are very close to me, I am really just afraid to do so. I don't want to make things worst, for the sake of peace.

For all you know, MGD and I were already engaged, right? And I thought that everything will just fall into place after the engagement. That, everything will be just in its right track, as what we have expected to be. But, I've just realized, that there really are things or situations which you cannot control to happen or unpredicted things or situations that sprouted unexpectedly.

As what I have written in my short post last November 05, 2021, I shared about the ridiculous mistake I have committed, but it was actually the 26th birthday celebration of my cousin, that is why I said that I can't sleep. The family decided to have a small gathering in their house during the night, (Dinner Time) with some other neighbors and peers of the birthday celebrant.

At first, I was just sitting beside my mama, with my papa of course, while eating our dinner. I noticed that my Aunt was staring, not us, but to be specific, she was staring at me, but I just don't mind her at that time. I just continue eating until I finished my plate. After that, I went to my cousin's room and asked my cousin about their wifi password, so that I can connect to the Internet.

Even though, I used headset while I was busy at my phone, I still heard the noise in the living room and on the outside of the house. Some were drinking "Tuba" with "Pulutan", and others were having videoke. My mama, two Aunts, the mother of the celebrant, and my other Tita had their talking session. (Chismisan XD).

I just chose to stay in my cousin's room with her, and my other two cousins while talking about anything. About love life, about MGD and I, about Exes, so on and so forth.

Fast Forward...

My mama and I decided to home around 1:30 am, while papa was still on their "Tagayan Session" with his "Barkada."

The Next Day...

I woke up around 9:30 am at that time. I ate my breakfast with my mama and then all of a sudden she shared to me about the last night. She said that my Aunt was asking her about MGD and I. That she was saying,

"Ate, when does Inday and MGD will getting married?

"How about MGD's "Pamamanhikan"? "

"Inday (referring to me) should ask MGD about it, so that they can be settled down."

"They should do that, because what if MGD will cheat on her or something like that."

"What if, Inday will get pregnant?"

"They should settle down already."

On the opposite, as what my mama told me, they said something like this;

"Bakit hindi man lang nakapag-antay si MGD te na makapasok muna si Inday sa DepEd."

"You should talk to her about that."

"You should stop her for deciding just right away."

And many more, all negative opinions towards us.

(I've just woke up, pero yun ang bumungad na bati para sa'kin. Sighs!)

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Seriously, they just say this and that, anything that they wanted to say. And all I can say is that, "I Can Decide for Myself!" But honestly, I was bothered and got confused about their opinions regarding the issue. Just imagine, when MGD and I was not in this stage just yet, they kept on saying, "You should get married already." But now, that we decided to do so, they wanted to stop us. (Aigoo! I am in the state of confusion, frustration, and pressure right now... Ugh!)

I don't know how to defend myself, and us, MGD. What I hate was, they kept on saying and sharing such things, even to other people. "Hindi ko talaga gusto yung pinag-uusapan ako nang ibang tao, keysho ganito, ganyan." They should address it to me, promptly. "Hindi yung, i-chi-chismis pa sa iba."

"Yun ang mahirap dun." It feels like I was an underdog. You alam mo'ng those people that talking something like that about you to the other people were very close to you, it really hard to express yourself, to express your side.

Napapaisip na lang ako, "Why is this happening?"

"Bakit nila ako pinapangunahan, eh' malaki na ako, at kaya ko nang magdesisyon para sa sarili ko?"

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How about you my fam? Can you decide for yourself?

"Its a personal problem, I know. But honestly, dito ko lang nalalabas yung feelings ko." :-( T_T My apologizes, kung dinamay ko pa kayo sa problema ko..

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Lead Image sources:

-Background Image was owned by yours truly.

-The other photo was from: http://thequotes.in/i-dont-want-other-people-to-decide-who-i-am-i-want-to-decide-that-for-myself-emma-watson/

-Edited using Canva App

Thank you for reading!📖☺️

GOD BLESS US ALL!😇

_renren16💚_