We are who we are: My Insecurities.

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2 years ago

Two Monday's left of 2021!

Christmas is upon us and next week the year will come to an end.

I take the chance to extend my most sincere words of support to all the victims of Typhoon Odette, I hope to God you may find the strength needed to overcome this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you, please, keep as safe as possible.


Now down to business.

Today I read a prompt article from @Theblackdoll called #Myinsecurities.

The way she openly talked about hers made me feel confident and safe to speak about mine.

Yes! I also have insecurities, but who doesn't?.

We might all seem we have all figured out, but way back in our heads, there are the sounds of issues that sometimes come out to throw us a bad play.

Do you want to read mine? Here they are.

My teeth.

I have crooked teeth and have never fixed them. When I was little we didn't have much money to cover our basic needs let alone to go to an orthodontist to fix things like that. I lost my fangs early on and as a kid, parents always tell you not to play with the space left by the missing tooth, and I never paid attention to that. The result was that the space closed and my left fang is bent and poking out. The right one started to come out before the milky one fell out, and that resulted even worse, that one is poking even more out of the road, so much that I've been bullied by it.

I remember one time I was at a concert, well, waiting to play at a concert and I was talking and laughing with a friend when an old man approached us and said to me:

You are such a beautiful girl until you laugh, your teeth ruin your face so don't laugh and come see me in my office, I'll give you a discount.

Before that episode I smiled...

I was already self-conscious about my smile but that hurt me so deep, that from that moment on I hardly show my open smile to people. Sure, those close to me know how they look like but, in pictures or in front of people I don't know, I hardly open my mouth at all.

I can't afford to fix that, it's too much money and it can mean also that I'd have to stop playing the oboe for a little while, due to the pain and the position of my mouth in the reed.

I've lived with that like, forever, and it's painful.



My weight.

As a kid, I was skinny, very skinny. When puberty hit and my body started to develop I got a double chin and a round belly. At first, I thought it was no biggie, and it wasn't, I'm not talking about 40kg more weight, I'm talking maybe 5 to 10kg more. However, this made my "friends" of the orchestra, locally and nationally, tease me and start to give me nicknames.

My 6th grade graduation ceremony, can you see how skinny I was?

The first one was Yummy Belly (Lipita Rica in Spanish) but then it escalated to the point of no return, they started to call me Revaca, a combination of the first syllable of my name and the word VACA which in English means COW, so Recow.

They even invented a Rap Song which they sang to me every time they saw me eating anything.

I'm scarred for life about that. Thankfully I didn't develop an eating disorder, I love to eat! But I do have image issues, I never look good in my eyes, I always feel too fat, too heavy, too ugly.

At my highest, 75kg.

I have some good days though, and with the crisis, I lost so much weight that I was once again that skinny kid that I once was. But as the thing started to get better, that weight came back, not like before, but some of it did, so I cover it with baggy clothes because I don't like my body, and that has some consequences in my confidence.

I live with all those insecurities, but I got out every day, I work, I do chores, I pay my bills, I have friends, I sing my lungs out in Karaokes, I live my life. But when nobody is watching, I feel little and ugly.

The good thing is that I don't let that bring me down completely, I too have struggled with depression and thoughts of death and more and recovered from that so I know I can do it again.

That's why I keep trying to work on myself in order to have these insecurities gone away for good.

People! This is as good as therapy, believe me. If you want to try it out, follow these rules from our friend TheBlackdoll:

Go write your stories with the hashtag #Myinsecurities and include "Myinsecurities" in the "Topics" section...

And here's her Original Post, it's awesome!



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This is 100% Original Content.

The captioned images are my property, those that aren't are from Unsplash and provided by this site.



See you next time.

✨✨Blessings✨✨

@rebeysa85

December 20th, 2021.

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2 years ago

Comments

Children can be ruthless. And the orthodontist that told you that is a jerk.

I think my worst insecurity had always been my hair. I have very curly hair, and since I was little, my mother and aunts insisted on making it straight; I used too much with a hairdryer and chemical treatments. Now I have learned to accept my hair the way it is. I forgot about trying to straighten it, and I like it.

🎁 You have been blessed by the Club1BCH festive spirit and a $0.50 tip was given to this article. Sharing is caring... please share half of it with someone else! Happy Holidays! 🎁

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2 years ago

I wanted curly hair as a child haha. I guess one person insecurities is anohers longing, right? I do know it is a hard process to overcome those things that made us fell unloved and unwanted, I try my best to not care about my teeth and my weight but bah, there are good days and bad days I guess.

Yey dear friend, thank you! I just saw this, I'll do as you said ASAP. Blessed your heart and thank you #Club1BCH Merry Christmas 🎁

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2 years ago

That's the worst advertising that orthodontist could have done, it's worth a lawsuit. We all have our limitations and our insecurities, but be glad...they can be overcome, just look around at how many disabled people do wonders that we dare not do. You're missing the recipe, I don't see you: https://read.cash/@Frankmart/living-christmas-7a082e75

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2 years ago

You think? Later I thought that he was joking, but whatever that was, it was inappropriate and hurtful. Love the recipe Frank!

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2 years ago

Aww bless your heart my sweetheart... Do you want to hear my honest opinion? your crooked teeth gives a unique look to your face thus not making look normal because normal is boring.. you are so gorgeous and glowing inside and it reflects beautifully on your face... and don't even bother about weight, as long as we are healthy and looking after us and our family, that's the only thing that matters. You are truly so pretty :))

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2 years ago

Nobody has said that to me before, you are so kind! Thank you so much for this, I'm happy to be able to share this kind of stuff, to open up about those "demons" that haunt our minds sometimes, and the ones that if unchecked, can bring us down easily, if we let them. Thank you doll, God bless you!

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2 years ago

Bless your sweet soul sis

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2 years ago

Your's too ❤️ ❤️

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2 years ago

All our shortcomings we can turn into pluses, if we want to.... there are people in my friends who not only have a lot of money, but also from poorer families. And frankly I do not care what they look like: fat, thin, tall low. I don't divide them by those criteria. But I know exactly which of them is a liar (dreamer) kind, highly impulsive or even stupid. Nevertheless, they are my friends!!!! Who says we have to be the same what are the chickens in the hen house- of the same suit? Yes, everyone has complexes, but we have to dwell on them. Open your eyes well and look "deeper" into the person!

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2 years ago

With time I've learned to surround myself with people who see beyond physical appearance, social status or level of inteligence. I have now fewer friends, but they are the ones that are there for me as I am for them. Those who bullied me for my physical flaws I still talk to some of them, but I don't consider them my friends anymore for they still think is funny what they did to me, even more than 20 years later.

As for me, I'm still working in accepting who I am physically, and I know that I'm not perfect but I know my virtues and I know that the people who love me don't care about my teeth or my body, it's a work in progress but one I know I have to keep doing.

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2 years ago

good to know about it all. In my opinion that old man was idiot. have a blessed day ma'am))

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2 years ago

Haha I think so too, I mean who does that? People should know the impact words can have on a person.

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2 years ago

true

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2 years ago

I'm glad that you don't allow your insecurities to bring you down.

We all have insecurities and nobody is perfect.

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2 years ago

No way, I wont allow it. It's hard, and it's painful, but it doesn't define who I am.

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2 years ago

I completely understand.

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2 years ago

I do have lots of insecurities too and I even experienced being criticized by others. Their criticisms were hurtful but as time goes by I learn to ignore it...Oh, the Cow in your language is Vaca, ours is Baka. Its almost the same as yours

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2 years ago

Wow, yours is a better match with my name haha.

I too learned to ignore it, even laugh at it, to minimise it to a place where it can't no longer hurt me when it's used by its creators. But it did leave a scar with which I'm still dealing with.

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2 years ago

Yeah right even if we ignored it this time but the painful experience we have remains deep within ourselves.The scar that it causes still lingers with us

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2 years ago

I have lots of insecurities in myself, sometimes I just pretend that I don't mind it but everytime I see nor feel something, it makes me insecure and started questioning how come that I have this kind of physical appearance and body, i think I've gotten all bad physical features that a guy can have, feel pity for myself.

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2 years ago

Don't give your insecurities that much power over you.

From what I've seen, the few times you've shared pics of yourself, you are just fine honey, and further more, you are kind, you are thoughtful, you are smart, you are fun, you are insightful, you are a great person, those are the things to keep in mind.

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2 years ago