My pain, my burden.

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Avatar for rebeysa85
2 years ago

Harsh words huh?

Truthful words nevertheless. Sometimes, out of love and appreciation for someone we tend to make their problems our own, which to my view is not a good thing to do.

On the surface it may seem like there's nothing wrong with it, we all have to be emphatic towards humanity in general, but( yes, there's is a but)...

What happens when you get too deep and the troubles and pain of someone else becomes your own?

It's different for everyone depending on how it's handled From my experience I can tell you this, you end up carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, only to finally hear this words:

Nobody asked you...

And sadly, most of the times it's true, I mean, as good citizen's and good human beings, it's in our nature the need to help others, to share the burden, to be of use.

The thing is, and here's where it gets tricky, nine out of ten times you do it you won't end up well, you'll be overwhelmed with things that aren't your own. It's like when you're on the side road walking and then a car drives through a pond of dirty water and splash you from top to bottom.

You end up dirty and wet and cold because the driver didn't care that you were walking on that road, it's your fault, you chose to walk over it so take the consequences, a metaphor that applies in many cases.

You can't help it though, at least I can't, I have to help, I have to be of use, I have to be there when I'm needed. For me the change has been that in my case of a life with Chronic Pain, it's my pain, it's my burden.

I try not to be a burden for anyone else, I try to be active and alive, because I don't want anyone to feel like they have to carry me or carry any of my problems. If I need help I ask for it, but I hate that sense of overprotection, and fear, which is worse for me, it gives me more stress which results in more pain.

I need to be able to handle it on my own, I need to be able to push through without the extra burden that someone else is down with me or maybe feels I'm taking advantage of them just because I'm sick. Don't get me wrong, I'm forever grateful to those who have been and still are there for me, but this is mine to bear.

That's why I feel that we must as always, take responsibility for our own baggage. It is about, and it has something to do with who we are and maybe what we will be in the future. We are the masters of our own destiny, every decision takes us there, so take the front seat of you ride and be useful to yourself before being useful to anyone else.



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@rebeysa85

December 17th, 2021.

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2 years ago

Comments

Hay personas que les gusta ser una carga, depender de otros siempre, a veces veo eso y me molesto un poco, que fácil ven la vida, intento siempre no depender de los demás, quizás de vez en cuando necesito una ayuda, pero no soy una carga, devuelvo los favores o eso intento, no quiero molestar a nadie, solo ser feliz, de verdad que no me gusta molestar a los demás

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2 years ago

Your words are very true, but sometimes we have to depend on other people, how unpleasant. I hope you have a good day

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2 years ago

Sometimes yes, not always, it shouldn't have to be like that. We have to be open minded for both scenarios, and sadly, many people aren't like that.

How are you Frank? I hope you have a good day too!

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2 years ago

Gracias por preguntar, todo muy bien celebrando casi todos los dias, Hicimos un parrandon, aunque me pierdo en los acordes pero no importa, la tambora sigue. jeje

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2 years ago

Que fino! Jaja a mi me pasó eso en el concierto del jueves y terminé tocando cualquier cosa menos lo mio, menos mal que el sonido estaba mal puesto y no me escuché :D

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2 years ago

Ahhh! So true! I couldn't agree more!

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2 years ago

Yes sis, it's a common thought but nobody says it offten. Hope you and your boys are ok!

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2 years ago

I know what you mean exactly Rebeca, sending the biggest of big hugs :)

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2 years ago

I had the feeling you would. Thank you Ed ❤️

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2 years ago

the pleasure is all mine Rebeca 💙

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2 years ago

Yes, words like that hurt. But you sort of armor yourself against it over time. Then you end up distancing yourself a lot from people, sometimes even from those who really want to help you. It's hard sometimes...

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2 years ago

True statement all of it, although in my experience, those that really want to help always find a way to do so, even if you have put some distance in between.

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2 years ago

I agree with you; I mostly take on my own responsibility irrespective of that I'm going through because I do not like to be seem as a burden or a disturbance.

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2 years ago

It's just such a nasty feeling, being a burden, I hate it.

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2 years ago

It's like making our way out to our misery. My baggage, my responsibility so I have to take this out without hurting anyone.

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2 years ago

That's right sis, don't take advantage of others and don't let them take advantage of you.

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2 years ago

It's funny how that is a very common occurrence, to hear people tell you they didn't ask you when you've been carrying their burdens all along

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2 years ago

Haha yes, not even a thank you. But those of us who lend a helping hand don't do it to get recognition or anything, we just like to help. However it is hurtful, to be belittled ust because it was our choice to help in the first place.

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2 years ago

I rally truly hope you are doing well emotionally.. something tells me you are down... Please msg me if you want to talk about it

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2 years ago

Thank you sis! I'm ok, really, I just had an episode of enlightenment haha and also sometimes my family makes my feel that they are carrying me, lovingly of course, and I don't like that. And I remembered all of the times until recently where I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and I know how it feels and I don't want that for them.

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2 years ago

well rebesya this article i think try to tell me something because I'm the one who also is there in every people's trouble who are around me whether i could not relate with their suffering but I'm there

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2 years ago

We can help if we want to, what we mustn't do is make other peoples problems our own, it's not healthy, it is counterproductive in every way.

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2 years ago

This is so true. We are the ones responsible for our own lives. Whatever the consequences, it is us who are accountable for it. It is our life, our rules.

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2 years ago

That's right, we have to be grateful for the help received but also responsible enough with ourselves and our choices and the cards destiny has for us.

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2 years ago

It is a constant prayer that I have the strength to take responsibility for any baggage that weighs me down, precisely so that others may not have to take it on, and feel inconvenienced or bad doing so.

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2 years ago

It is a truth never told, because perhaps at first people have no problem giving you a hand and helping you with the weight for a while, but if we leave it like that, if we get used to it, someone else carrying us, is negative for both parties, and annoying, and they will not tell you, they will just walk away, they will change towards you.

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2 years ago