Lost Values: Who's to blame?

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Avatar for rebeysa85
3 years ago

"I'm getting old", I often say to myself when I notice that I'm thinking of stuff like this and my younger self jumps out in my head: What are you talking about!

What I'm I talking about?

Well, the lost values and the impact on the new generations. It's just too clear, that the way my generation was raised has changed over time and the results are there to see.

Youngsters are just living their lives oblivious to the fact that there have been people who have left their lives on the line for them to have what they want. They believe that they should have everything just for existing.

From Pixabay

The reason I'm saying this is because I know plenty of youngsters that are taking a path to self-destruction, and not because of drugs or anything like it, it's because they don't know the value of hard work, and they don't value the sacrifices their parents or their families have done for them, and most of all, the don't respect anything or anyone.

An example of this is just next door, my neighbors.

They have 3 children, 2 boys, and 1 girl; the younger boy and the other two are half brothers and sister and that's fine. The oldest two have grown to be respectful and caring; they don't yell, they always say thank you good morning please, they are educated and kind. The little one is another story although he's starting to learn to behave himself, well, he was until his cousin came to visit.

From tu.org

The kid at first reminded me of Rusty, the neighbor from The Incredibles, with his little bike and all, but for the past two weeks he has had a new gadget on his bike, a small wireless sound system and he has it installed in a way that doesn't fall off even if he's riding up and down the street. Well, he turns the volume up to max and plays all kinds of reggaeton songs, a music genre that doesn't deserve to be called music and has often vulgar language and very distasteful lyrics.

He's 7 years old. His parents are here also with him, but they don't pay attention to him so he does whatever he wants.

Three days ago I was online teaching my student in Peru when the kid arrived and started playing his "music". It was so loud that my student complained and I had a hard time listening to him because it was too darn loud! So my mom and I decided to say something to the parents and ask politely to turn the volume down, at least for the hour my class was supposed to last.

They agreed and asked the kid to do so, but the kid refused and had a temper tantrum like I hadn't seen in a long time, then he took his bike and placed himself in our doorway and put his music loud and clear for us to hear. His parents did nothing and I couldn't finish my class.

From Flickr

I was so mad that I could easily spank that kid but no, I couldn't really because that's abuse, that's against the law, that's wrong.

But, isn't it also wrong that a kid doesn't have any kind of respect for others, not even his parents? And isn't it also wrong that the adults in the picture are doing nothing to rectify his behavior?

Society plays a big part in this, the laws also have a role to play, but the family, which in my view is the core of society, has the biggest part of all. If the parents don't teach their kids the basic values to succeed in life, what can we expect from them when they get older? And those of us who are on the other side of the table, what can we do to correct this?

Right now I don't know, I mean, I've worked with youngsters for a long time and I have tried to teach them the true value of proper manners, of proper behavior. Some have listened, some have some troubles understanding this because they behave exactly as their family does, and I just don't understand when even people of my generation say "It's just different times, just roll with it".

That's not right, but I don't have the solution either. Do you?

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@rebeysa85

Sunday, October 10th, 2021.

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3 years ago

Comments

I hate that term too. "Times are different." No, actually they are not. The past has proven results, and so many of the young people think they have all the answers. They think they have a better way. But time and time again these young people become older people, who when they become older people FINALLY realize they got it wrong.

They offer their experience and they offer their advice. And the new young people shrug their shoulders only to experience the same thing everyone else has experienced.

It is a vicious cycle.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Sadly that's true, but when they do come to their senses some mistakes are to great that it is almost impossible to recover from them. Those things can be prevented, but if there is no will there is no way.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Parents should teach their child the word RESPECT. Here in my neighborhood, children seems to have no respect as they were uttering some profanity words. I dont know where did they get that from. Their parents seem to tolerate their kids buy not implementing disciplinary actions.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

That's just the thing, they see it like if it's normal that they behave like that. In my days, a good scolding to say the least would found its way to me I got caught saying bad words.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

They need to be taught a lesson, first the parents then the child, the child can have a tantrum, perfect, but we should not please him and even less if he does it on purpose. Parents are primarily responsible for the child's behavior.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Ugh, I just wanted to get out and do it myself! I could and still can't believe that his behavior was approved and even applauded.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You are right. There is a great loss of values. Many young and children of new generations have such an irreverent attitude towards life that I don't want to imagine when they are grown up how they will behave.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

One can only hope that one day life will teach them a lesson, and the lesson will be well learned and a change for the better occurs from that experience.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Well, I'm a single mom of two boys. They're living in their era and am working so I couldn't really see them all throughout the day. I have some complaints but in general, the problems I have with them are just about the same with my mom's time raising us. Yes, it is true the core influence of a child's value starts from the family, parents, grandparents, siblings and the likes. I consider it true which is why I really double my effort to reach out to my kids and do basic things together. Before covid, used to give them ride to and from school, making and serving them meal, pray together, eat together, talk & laugh with them and make sure you they know that "I'm still mommy" even if I am giving you the freedom to make some decisions. I do understand the need to provide, I'm a single mom too, double my efforts on both areas and really exhausting. But showing them all this, they can also appreciate because they are doing things for me too, like if i request for massage or so, they would. Having friends are normal, they just really need to know boundaries, especially when growing up. Well, I never raised a hand on them and will never, but I'm glad to know they're scared when I really want them to be scared. At least I know I still have a hold on them.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

We are six brothers and sisters and even though my Dad spent most of his time at work he took time to discipline us without putting a hand on us. My Mom is a stay home mom and she never abused us but she was the hardcore one, also making sure that we understood that the lessons she imparted were for our benefit.

We played outside, we played with other children, but whenever we came back misbehaving or saying bad words she made use of her authority as a disciplinarian.

Thanks to her and Dad, we are all functional adults and we try our best to have the best behavior out there. The problem now is that I see parents who laugh at their kids for saying bad words, or dancing vulgarly, or being disrespectful towards others, and that's just wrong.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I can comment on one academic aspect. Today educational value is decaying fast. I often get messages from college students about whether I can help them in cracking their online exams! I also get requests to prepare the final year project dissertations for students of engineering colleges. There are plenty of teachers who are regularly doing it via online teaching platforms!

The students, parents, and the teaching community are equally responsible for the degradation of academic standards.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

The audacity huh? And the teachers laugh, the parents also laugh, everybody sees this as a joke. I have another neighbor who just finished high school and she wants to go to med school. Weel, she has the worst vocabulary I have ever seen in a girl, she's 18, she doesn't say please, thanks, good morning, nothing. What can we expect from that girl as a doctor?

$ 0.00
3 years ago

This is very true among young generation today. I guess the technology updated played a big part too. That’s why I believe the parents and the family should always checked their kids from time to time so that they can correct the values of their children towards everything.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Over here the parents who still check on their children are cataloged as "overprotective" and the ones who give freedom to their kids are "new age" and "cool". Now you see a 3-year-old with a phone and throwing temper tantrums if he/she doesn't get what he/she wants.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Cultural and spiritual malaise are to blame and we are all guilty of it. As a former teacher in a Christian school, I saw the same behavior. In front of the so called pastor (he wasn't a very good one, sorry to say) they were all smiles and unicorns, but when he wasn't looking they were children gone wild.

The pastor left the discipline up to me as the head teacher. I did what I could but I couldn't control 200 kids.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I know most churches are not like that, but read this: Behind my house is a Christian Church, and they throw vigils till dawn with sound systems at high volume. They say that that's the only way God can hear them, but they don't see all the people they bother with their high volume up to 3, 4, or 5 am on weekends. Also, they sometimes have parties and play "Christian Reggaeton" and although the lyrics are Christian, the dancing is just wrong, I've seen it. So, what are they teaching in the first place?

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Sounds to me like they are living off and being dependent on entertainment. We should never be obnoxious or annoying to those we seek to reach for Christ.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Well, at least I only have 2 to supervise. I allow them to go wild so when I turn my back they'd discipline themselves. I encourage an area of communication where my adolescent boy is able to talk just about everything else, even with sex. Its difficult but I have to play that role, mom, and am glad because it pays, he opens up and even waiting for my opinion without him knowing. That at least is something to live by.

$ 0.02
3 years ago