I'm Changing.

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2 years ago

I'm Changing.

Like the Butterfly, that starts being an egg, then becomes a caterpillar, then becomes a cocoon, and finally, emerges with beautiful wings and ready to fly away.

I'm changing from the person others wanted me to be, to who I really want to be. I started small, dependant, obedient, with my head low because everyone knew best, and I knew nothing.

Then I began to stand up for myself, I started to see that I was two people, one true to my soul, the other true to what others wanted, and even trying hard enough, life showed me that it wasn't my time, that I had to keep my head down a little bit longer.

Time flew away, but I didn't, I became tired and restless, enduring every hit that was thrown at me, thinking that someday things will be brighter and better, but they only became worse. And that's how I've lived almost my entire life, in compliance, obedience, and dependency, not true to who I am.

What I didn't realize is that everything that has happened to me has made me stronger, wiser, open-minded, kinder, but I'm still waiting to fly away. I'm still vulnerable, I'm still remorseful because I know people will be disappointed in me, that I'm no longer the woman they wanted me to be, I'm still struggling inside, fighting a battle with what I am now and who I know I want to be.

Yet, I feel the change is coming, I feel that I'm close to breaking that cocoon, spreading my wings, and flying away to new adventures and experiences. I feel that I'm getting close to keeping my head up high and not bowing to anyone, that it's ok to stand up for myself, for what I believe in, and not mean that I'll stop loving and caring for those closest to me.

I'm changing, and it is scary, the unknown, when will it happen and how will it be, but like the butterfly, I know I'll enjoy every bit of it, as long as it lasts.



Hello, my dearest friends of read.cash!

I hope I'm finding you all very well, happy and healthy and blessed.

Quick update: My mom has a very bad-looking shoulder derivated from a forty-year-old injury, but nothing that caused big problems so far. However, she has been having pain for about 3 weeks which escalated to major pain this weekend. Even, her right-hand swells when she has her arm loose, so I said enough, and against her will, I took her to the doctor this morning. They referred her to Trauma Consult and they found through physical examination and an X-Ray, that the injury that's causing her pain is located in the Rotator Cuff and two bones of the shoulder are grasping each other causing the pain. Now, she has to have a very expensive MRI to see the soft parts of the shoulder to determine if she requires surgery. Tomorrow I'll go out to see what the exact amount is and start to find a way to get it, even with her already saying that she won't go under the knife, ever.

As for today's article, I've had those words revolving around my head for a few days now, but in a very angry form, for I'm fed up with trying to satisfy everyone and bending to other people's expectations, I'm done. But I'm also having trouble handling the reactions of people, who had always seen me malleable a pleasant, always willing to stand down, no not fight back because they know better and I know nothing. I needed to put them out there but in a non-angry form, and that's how that text came out.

It's a process, a very difficult one, but necessary if I want to rise up a live my life to the fullest.



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See you next time.

✨✨Blessings✨✨

@rebeysa85

February 21st, 2022.

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2 years ago

Comments

The changes are for good or for bad, it depends on the point of view of each one, maybe a change is good for you, but maybe someone else does not like your change and has the erroneous thought that you have changed for the worse... The most important thing is that the change makes you happy and makes you feel good, that it is not a change to please others but to please yourself. I hope you are happy with your new change, and like any change it takes time and patience, so start little by little, until you get used to your new "me".

I hope your mother recovers soon, I understand that things here are very expensive, I have been looking for another way to earn money if I get a good place as special as read.cash I will be informing you. I hope everything goes well for you.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thank you Fran, I appreciate your words 💞

Definitely, many people will be upset of the changes I'm making, but as I said, I cannot continue living my life behaving according to what others like or dislike, I have to live for me, and if that pisses some people off so be it, I'm tired of being a people pleaser and sacrificing myself in the process.

My mom is getting better, I got her all the medicine the doctor prescribed. She doesn't want the MRI but it has to be done to check exactly what we're dealing with, so yes, if you find something as good as this please let me know, I truly appreciate it 💞

$ 0.00
2 years ago

La vida es solo una y debes disfrutarla, debes vivir como te sientas más cómoda, hacer lo que te siga alegrando la vida, así todo lo que te gusta vaya en contra de la opinión de los demás, disculpa por escribir en español y volverlo a decir, la vida es sólo una. Si los demás quieren recorrer este extraño camino llamado vida criticando a los demás, ese es su problema, quizás eso a ellos los hace felices a pesar de que dañen a las demás personas, pero siempre piensa en ti, en lo mejor para ti y tu familia, pero piensa en no hacer algo que perjudique a los demás, así como criticar, por ejemplo como lo que dije antes, quizás eso te hace feliz a ti, pero no a otro. Los cambios son buenos, si la oruga no cambia no puede convertirse en una hermosa mariposa...

Con respecto a tu madre, pues… Este año ha empezado bastante fuerte para muchas personas, pero espero que todo vaya mejorando así como va avanzando el año, he leído bastantes cosas tristes aquí en read.cash, espero que todo mejore para todos, para ti, para CoquiCoin, para TengoLotodo, para Gertu, que todo mejore para todas las personas que conocemos y me incluyo, espero que todo también mejore para mí, aún me estoy recuperando de la muerte de mi mascota y del accidente que tuvo mi pareja, a pesar de que no fue “muy grave”, su recuperación nos mantuvo preocupados a todos.

Por supuesto que si encuentro algo tan genial como read.cash lo publicaré aquí y te etiquetaré. Saludos Rebe, cualquier cosa avisa por aquí, sabes que cuentas con el apoyo de muchas personas bondadosas que se encuentran en read.cash, gracias por mantenernos informados sobre tu salud y la salud de tus familiares.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Let's hope that with good therapy, your mother can improve without having to go to the operating room. Weeds must be rooted out, the changes are favorable, I hope you achieve your goals

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thank you! She's taking it easy, she uses arnica and moves the arm like the doctor told her to. The problem with her is that she know want's to do heavy stuff and she can't because the injury can get worse, and she doesn't like that so it's difficult. But she'll be ok, and I will be ok too ❤️

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Oh I hope she can get fixed. Spread your wings, I think mine were born spread, I have no fear of the unknown, infact I relish it😁

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Oh Ed, me too. She's getting better but I'm worried, I'm not gonna lie.

Haha yes, you are quite the adventurous type, and a little of a rascal as well, in a good way though.

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2 years ago

I hope your mom will be okay, sending her a prayer😊

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thank you dear 💞 She is a strong and resilient lady, she's not making a big deal out of it, but I'm worried, if the injury progress it can be dangerous.

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2 years ago

Like what other says, "Change is constant." We should see to it that, its for the betterment for ourselves. We should not allow other people to control or even change our lives for their convenience but for our own good.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

That's absolutely right, it is time for me to take the step and become full, even if some won't accept me for who I am.

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2 years ago

There are things that we cannot control. For me, I choose those things that I can control like my feelings. I am tired of people who are so entitled. All the best, sis!

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thank you Jiji. Yes, entitled people are unbearable, and I don't want to give them more space to do their will.

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2 years ago