Join 100,427 users already on read.cash

MAY: A Very Special Yet The Saddest Month For Me.

18 37
Avatar for nheng1118
Written by   167
8 months ago

Friday. May 7, 2022

May is a very special yet Saddest Month for me. Why? This month is extra special because this month is the birth month of my loved ones. But also saddest because they are all gone now and I will never be able to be with them again nor celebrate their birthdays again. It's also hard sometimes because instead of having fun celebrating their birthdays, the ending is you're sad or you're crying on those days.

May 2. Dad's Birthday

It was my Dad's birthday last Monday (May 2). It's been 23 years now since he left me. It has been 23 years since I lost my father who would have guided me. I was only in grade 5 when he passed away. For 23 years, I only have his picture with me on his birthday. I can't even remember his last birthday that we celebrated together anymore, since he's always been away from home before. It's sad because I haven't experienced the love of my father for a long time. He left me only a few memories. I have only been with him for almost three years since he was released from prison. So honestly, until now that I get older, I still miss and long for his love and guidance. But actually, my sadness is somewhat relieved when I look at her picture and I see my big name on her leg (Yolanda). It only shows that my Dad really loved me when he was still alive. On his birthday on Monday, we just visited his grave and lit a candle. Good thing I'm close to him now and I can visit him anytime I want.

May 11. My Angel's Birthday

May 11, 2006. This is the happiest day of my whole life because this is the day I experienced being a mother for the first time. The happiness is really different when you have already experienced being a mother. She was the best first gift that came into my life. There is nothing more than the joy I felt the first day I saw her. I promised myself that I would do everything for her, which I did. But maybe she wasn't for me, because God took her away from me too early. She was only 4 years old when God took her from me (June 24, 2010) right after a month of her last birthday due to an unexpected accident. This is probably the hardest and most painful thing that happens in my life. It's not that easy to lose a child, a child whom you love so much. She was the only one I had back then, she was my life, and my world revolved around her. I don't know how I moved on but I'm also thankful to my Mom for not leaving me at that time. It's already her 16th birthday on Wednesday (May 11). So here, sadness is attacking me again. It's her birthday again, and only her picture and her memories are the only ones here with me. How I wish can hug and kiss her again. I missed my Angel so much already.

You can also read the whole story about my daughter's accident here in my article Memories of My Angel.

May 20. Mom's Birthday

Well, May 20 is my Mom's 51st Birthday. I know some of you have read my article last year about Mom's Golden Jubilee Year (50th Birthday). I didn't expect that after we happily celebrated her birthday, it would be her last birthday with us. After two months after her birthday, God took her from us already too. Which is we already know and we already accept that she will suddenly be taken from us anytime, because of her serious illness. But of course, somehow the loss of Mom still hurts us a lot, even if we say before that we are ready to leave her to God anytime. It was also more painful for me because I only had Mom back then, she was the only one who was always by my side in everything I went through. Losing Mom was not easy for me either, I also carried the pain and hardship of losing her for several months. Honestly until now it still hurts me to think that I don't have Dad anymore, and now even my Mom is gone from me. Now her birthday is also near, and only her pictures and memories can be with us on her special day.

It's sad, isn't it? That all the people you love and who are important to you will celebrate their birthdays in the same month, but they are all no longer with you. You light a candle on their birthday but not for the cake they will blow, you light a candle as a ritual that they have also passed away.

Recently I often dream of my Mom and Dad. In my dreams, they both hug me. Maybe it's to remind me that they are just here beside me, guiding and supporting every decision I make in my life. I miss the three of them so much but I know they are just here, especially here in my heart and mind. They will always be here no matter what.

13
$ 12.00
$ 11.71 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.07 from @fantagira
$ 0.05 from @Idksamad7869
+ 6
Sponsors of nheng1118
empty
empty
empty
Avatar for nheng1118
Written by   167
8 months ago
Enjoyed this article?  Earn Bitcoin Cash by sharing it! Explain
...and you will also help the author collect more tips.

Comments

It's really sad dear, I can't bear this all trauma which happened to you if i was in your place. May is the saddest month for you but have patience they are all in now a good place

$ 0.01
8 months ago

Thanks sis, yes they're all in a good place now and they're happier now there, no more pain for them 🙂

$ 0.00
8 months ago

Yes so be happy for them

$ 0.00
8 months ago

After read your article I feel really sad. It's so hard to lose our loving people. But don't be worry dear they all are in the heaven now. Be strong, stay happy.

$ 0.01
8 months ago

Yes 🙂 I know they're happy now there in heaven 🙂 thank you for dropping by 🙂♥️

$ 0.00
8 months ago

Oh dear, my heart goes to you sis. I never knew you have lost your first daughter. The pain must have been out of this world 😰 It is very sad month for you indeed. Sending you tons of love sis 💙

$ 0.01
8 months ago

Thank you so much sis 😘♥️ guess the pain will gonna stay forever but I still trying to cope with it until now

$ 0.01
8 months ago

You’re a hero sis 💙

$ 0.00
8 months ago

Nakakatouch yong story mo sis nheng. Mabuti at nashare mo kc healthy yan lalo na sa mind mo, make us realize too how we are blessed that our parents are still alive. One day magkikita ulit tayo doon.

$ 0.01
8 months ago

True sis, one day magkakasama sama na din ulit kami 🙂 thank you for stopping din sis.. 🙂

$ 0.00
8 months ago

Happiness and sadness in the same month. May your beloved ones remained in peace. My birthday is also in this month. It was in yesterday.

$ 0.01
8 months ago

Oh belated happy birthday to you 🙂 and thank you also for dropping by..

Anyway I just noticed that your account is in spam..are you aware with it?

$ 0.00
8 months ago

How can i removed my account from spammed list?

$ 0.00
8 months ago
$ 0.00
8 months ago

Talagang nagkakapareho pa sila ng birthmonth, sad nga naman pag ganon,kasi naalala mo sila sa month na to.

$ 0.00
8 months ago

Kaya nga po 3x pa Yung pain 😔

$ 0.00
8 months ago

Nakakalungkot nga mommy. Puro may pa Naman birthday nila

$ 0.01
User's avatar Yen
8 months ago

Kaya nga sis kalungkot talaga ng May para sa akin

$ 0.00
8 months ago