The sky can still calm your heart.

September 08, 2022

Before anything else I just want to great the great mother of all

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA MARY

The past few days of my absence here is because I went to another series of interviews, examinations and assessments and mostly they would tell me that I'm overqualified or they're looking for a person who are skilled in such process or system.

I admit travelling cost me a lot and I don't want to keep borrowing but my parents insisted on giving me everything as it's the only way they could help me find a job for they knew how restless I am at home.

Honestly, having no job and income is hard and I kept on making myself busy by tending to the kids and helping at home, but I want to work already, and my parents know that.

Getting disappointed is not really what I usually feel but with being stressed of not yet still finding a job, I was kind of on edge and mostly emotional with everything.

My plan the other day was to stay in my sister's boarding house as I have another interview the next day. I already told her beforehand about me going to her b.house and she already seen my message, so I expected that she already knows I'm coming after my interview.

After my interview I messaged her that I didn't get the work as they prefer those with backers, and I was just unlucky to have the job. I also told her that I'm on my way to her house. I didn't get a response, so I assume that she left the key to the landlady but when I came to their apartment, she didn't give the key to the landlady.

I messaged her again but still no response. After an hour she called me and nag at me about not informing a little earlier. I told her that I messaged her the other night and she seen the message so I thought she already knew that I will be coming over.

She told me that she will be going home late as she already made an appointment and it will take long. Downcast as I am, I just told her that I will just go home and will go back tomorrow for another interview.

She misunderstood it and hung up the phone and messaged me again. I didn't respond with the actual message instead I told her that I'm already on the bus going home. I put my phone in " Do not Disturb" mode and slept on the bus while listening to music on my headset.

I messaged Mum that I will just go home without giving her the reason why I change my mind. Instead of asking she just said OKAY and told me to call if I'm already in the city so Papz can pick me up.

I really want to cry but I just hold it in. Having no good results after spending for transportation and also ended up not able to enter my sister's room and also having my sister misunderstands me just pile up that I really want to burst into tears, but I just hold it in as I'm still on the bus.

Papz's already there when I arrived and even gave me an ice cream. We sat in his motor seat while eating our ice cream ( sorbetes ). Papz even told me that finding work as of the moment is really hard and they understand my frustrations, he also told me not to worry about anything as they are willing to let me have my rest while waiting for the opportunity of work. Papz even told me that they are more worried about me having a breakdown, so they kept on checking on me. I don't really deserve such parents.

I came home to this stunning beauty of the sky, and it really did calm me internally.

Ahhhhh the sun always rises and sets, so as my destiny, after having no work I know one day an opportunity will come to me and I just have to be patience in waiting while creating more memories with my son for a while.

I've been meaning to write every day, but circumstances arise, and my mind kept on pondering on when will I get to work already, aigoooo

Thank you for reading!

@mommykim