The odds of my own faith..

June 30, 2022

What are the odds of your faith?

They say your faith decides in what you will gain in some aspects of life. Neither you will believe that it was destined or it was by pure luck.

Your faith sometimes may crumble over certain incidents that would make you question God why? Those challenges that you thought was not meant for you as you were a keen and obedient follower yet you were given a trial that you certainly think you'll fail. Is that so?

Is there such thing as miracles? Many believe that miracle only exist on books like fables and myth. Let me ask you this? Does it ever occur to you that some miracles did happen to your life without you noticing or you're just too dumb to notice because you only believe in mere coincidence? Or simply maybe because you're thinking that having a reason to think that miracle exist is lame and childish.

This came to me upon watching a movie "Heaven is for real" way back 2014.Some of you might have watched it already. It talks about miracles, on how the son of a pastor survive a near death experience and told that he saw heaven and experienced being there with the angels. The father didn't believe at first, but a lot has changed with the son and even he can't decipher that all the fear the boy have before were all gone and he became weird in the eyes of everyone. He even told his mother that he saw her sister that his parents hadn't got the chance to give a name to(the mother experienced miscarriage before)

If you ask me if I believe in miracles it would be vague to believe that I don't at first. I was full of hatred even though I grow up from a loving family. And also the first mere reason that I became silent and meek at people, is because I was tainted. Funny it may seem but it really does happen in reality that someone you trust and go accustomed to might be the one who'll break you. No one knows, only HIM.

I lost trust, I isolated myself, I became weird, my faith vanished. Got in a relationship but having no faith on it and it failed after years for I got no trust left with me.

Year 2014, I joined a community to know if my faith still hiding in the darkness alongside my past or did it develop into whole hatred all those times. I masked my face with an aloof smile and connect with the people in the community. I want to bring back the fire in me, that fire that burns in my soul and want to shout and surrender the pain that I've been keeping all those years. Aloof, but I managed myself to get along well with other members. I worship and say my prayers but there still something in me that I want to let go but I don't know how, it's like it's waiting on something. And I thought maybe I would believe in miracle if I get to let this certain feeling that was entangled with me go.

And when I was about to give up on searching that's when I received it, a miracle that I never thought I would believed and received. I received a miracle in me and made me regain my faith. Not an event, not an accident, but a simple message from a stranger .

I did say that it's a stranger for were nowhere near friends even acquainted with each other. We me during an event and somewhat ended sitting in one table as we both have the same common friend. I only met him that night and I never got to see him after until now. The organizer hands out some notes with pen and gave us a challenge, " tell a stranger a message", then we get to write something and send it to a stranger. I only put one sentence as I was pre occupied with some other things that time but I did participate. I gave the note to a kid, a sixteen year old girl I saw when I was taking my food.

Then this stranger whose in the same table with me hands me a paper, he surely looks like a bystander at first look but the message he gave to me was something different.

" It's a miracle that we get to meet at this place and glad it happened. You're getting by, just hang in there and know that God really do the impossible in our lives. Turning us into a new leaf and creating a room for us to shout and tell everything that we want. Learn to let go and let God "

It's a common phrases a believer would tell a disheartened person. I guess it's clearly shown in my face the lack of sincerity and hope.

Ever since then, I made a promise to be honest. Honest to myself and not letting every thing He had created in me gone. I learn to accept that the past can't be change but the future belongs to you alone and it's up to you on how you deal with it. Disappointments will still come and go and your faith may be shaken again.

"I will ever leave you nor forsake you" is what He promise in Hebrews 13:5 and up until today I still holds that promise.

This takes me back to that day of the event. I was literally crying when I returned home. I kept thanking the heavens for that wonderful soul of a stranger that has touched my heart and made me reach out to Him again.

This is a random thought that happened to me. I was just working with my files while listening to some song then it pops up on my mind and for me to be able to not forget it, I wrote it this instant in the middle of my work, lol! My apologies for slacking off for a couple of minutes.

If you know someone who you think might need encouragement for he/she lost hope on something, try to give them a tap on the back reassure them that it'll be all okay.

And to you reading this, there will be days where you are not motivated, that you are tired , that you lost trust on people and their words. But know that you are doing well my dears. The world offer you convenience but God will always give you peace and love.

Take time to rest but never give up.

Thank you for reading.
@mommykim