Back then..(pregnancy kit)

March 08, 2022

Unplanned or planned, being pregnant for the first time, you will have this abrupt emotions that you can't comprehend as to what will you feel the moment you realize that there's a life now inside your stomach and you just want to cherish every moment that it's still dependent on you.

Wondering why am I talking about pregnancy out of the blue?

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Earlier after work, I decided to go out and have a little grocery since I ran out of shampoo and other hygiene things. So I went to the nearest drugstore since they also have a mini mart . I haven't reached the door of the pharmacy when someone caught my eye. It's a girl(gay) or a lesbian as I see it. She's wearing a sleeveless and a bonnet with a neat jogger jeans. She kept on glancing inside the pharmacy as if waiting for someone. She's in my way so I need to excuse myself just to pass through her.

As I went on picking the things I needed I then saw her looking picking on some napkins but her eyes were set to the teller. She even dropped the diaper pack near the rack she's been standing. I was a little curious but just minded my own business since I want to go home instantly but I need to think of the things I needed first.

After picking everything I needed, I fall in line and coincidentally I was next to the lesbian kid but she's doesn't have something in her hand so I thought she's buying some medicines.She keep on kicking her show and then pacing from left to right like she will be sentenced for death. As she's the one in the counter that's when I found out what she's buying, a pregnancy kit or a test pack. Guess she's having second thoughts or she's delayed. The pharmacist didn't mind though.

Then I remember the time when I was still doubtful if I'm pregnant or not.

I was so afraid to ask the pharmacist for a test pack as I am afraid to be humiliated but as my older sister said to me always that it's just all in my head thinking about the negative possibilities.

I spent a few days practicing what will I say to the pharmacist about wanting to buy a pregnancy kit. And after a month, I still as am always looking out the glass window of the pharmacy wanting to go in and buy the thing that I need. Glad that after many tries I finally mustered my courage to ask for a pregnancy kit.I bought two packs to make sure and used it at the same time only to found it both having two red lines confirming that I am going to be a mother. I still have it in my things at home as a remembrance.

When I saw the young lad earlier, it reminded me of the time that I was so nervous and just not want to have a test to know if I'm preggy but still wants to know lol!!

I guess there's always a room for ignorance especially when it comes to some things you sometimes can't bear to process in an instant just like pregnancy. As for me yes I did planned it but when it came to my mind that "Hala, " and then boom I was nervous and then sudden fear on what will my parents say about me being pregnant and then comes the confidence and the taking of the responsibility as a mature one.

My journey to bearing my child is a completely different ride yet exciting and happy. And carrying a child for nine months is hard but fulfilling.

This is really just random lol!!! .It just really crossed my mind as I was working on some papers..aigooooo

It really is nice going out sometimes but as for me I would always love to stay inside and just lie down or watch some kdramas. I feel more relax than walking outside.

Thank you for reading!

@mommykim