@marblely

@marblely 12 February 2021

Currently a proud mama of a turmeric plant :) https://read.cash/@marblely/my-first-growing-turmeric-plant-64e0ae26 #MyGarden

@marblely 12 February 2021

My first growing turmeric plant Turmeric is one of my favourite spices. It can be used in curries, in soups and cooking of all sorts. Turmeric has an intense yellow orange colour, due to curcumin, a chemical that the plant produces and they make a naturally good food dye for many cultures in the world. Just add a little into our cooking and the colour would transform to a sunshine yellow. But that would also mean that our cooking utensils (such as the chopping board) and our fingers would turn into cheery yellow too. It is always good to be mindful when dealing with turmeric because the colour can stain porous surfaces. My chopping board and kitchen table surfaces are still yellow from cooking with turmeric a few weeks ago. I think it will be there for quite some time. Turmeric spice comes from the root of a turmeric plant, similar to ginger and not suprisingly, it is part of the ginger family. Just like ginger, we can slice up the root of a turmeric plant and add them into an appetizing soup or grind the root to be used as a marinade for any seafood or poultry or meat or the other option would be the prepackaged turmeric powder. Turmeric powder when used as marinade for frying gives a delicious taste and aroma to the food. Turmeric root on the other hand, when sliced and cooked in soup, has a slight bitter, pungent, gingery and grassy taste but it adds a certain sophistication to a dish. For a new consumer, it may take a little of getting used to and it can be an acquired taste. Some years back, I tried planting turmeric. When the root started to sprout, I put it into the soil and see if it grew. At first it grew and then it died. I suspected that I watered it a little too much. Then I had another batch of turmeric which sprouted and I tried again. This time, I was more cautious with watering and I gave it more love and care compared to the one that didn't survive. It took a few days or maybe a week, before the leaf poked through the soil. It was such a lovely sight to see. When the leaf grew taller, my heart leaped with joy. I watered just enough for the soil to be a little damp, not too much. I used rice water usually. I also gave it a bit of goat dung nutrient. After another week, more leaves unrolled but I was a little upset when I saw a hole on the first leaf. Who dared to eat my precious turmeric plant? I didn't manage to investigate. I let nature take its course, who could resist the tasty turmeric leaves. Come to think of it, I have not tried eating turmeric leaves but I have read that the leaves can be used in cooking too. At this point, the plant was about 15cm tall and was looking quite gorgeous. I like the way the leaves roll up as it grows. And just like a butterfly, the new leaf spreads itself wide like a sail. Another happy sight for my eyes. It was gratifying to see the leaves grow. Today, the plant has grown up to about 30cm tall with 3 fairly large leaves plus the little leaf which has been munched by nature and I patiently wait. I hope nothing is gorging the turmeric roots inside. I had posted about a potato plant earlier but alas, when we harvested because the leaves were turning yellow, everything was gone! No potato, zilch, nothing. There were only little creatures happily eating up everything. What a bummer. *Sources:* *https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turmeric* *https://specialtyproduce.com/produce/Turmeric_Leaves_11168.php*

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@marblely 6 February 2021

CraftWorks :: Once upon a time - Crocheted dumpling coin pouch It was some time ago that I crocheted this pouch. I was dreaming of a coin pouch and decided to make one. The materials used were: crochet hook 4mm 4 inches zipper sewing needle and thread polyster yarn It started with chaining a number of chains and single crochet to create a base that was almost like the base of a slipper or shoe. I chose polyester yarn which was sturdier and variegated colour. It made it easy with yarn colour like these as there was no need to think about changing colours. The colour was naturally changed as we crochet. Once I reached the size that I wanted, I folded the piece to form the pouch. Then, I sewed on the zipper by hand and carefully followed the curved edges and sealed the pouch by sewing the sides. The pouch stated to take shape and it was getting there. I chose to add a lining with some leftover fabric. I cut out the shape with a pair of zigzag scissors, it helps in dealing with the frayed edges. I hand sewed the lining on to the insides of the pouch. I had hoped to sew it on neater but it was the best I could do at that time. When it was all done, after some hours, the coin pouch was ready. Its shape looked like a dumpling which was why usually pouches like these are called dumpling. It was meant as a gift but unfortunately the sewing was not neat enough. Therefore, I just kept it for myself but now I am not sure where it is :)

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@marblely 4 February 2021

Will he come again? She looked out from her kitchen's window pane, pondering, wondering. When will he come to visit again? She didn't know his name, nor who he was or where was he from but she liked him from the moment she saw him. It was one morning, just a few months ago, that she saw him there as she was washing her dishes. She wasn't sure what he was doing there but definitely not looking for her because he was facing elsewhere. Her pet rabbit, Scuff was hopping around the garden. He saw Scuff and knelt down to pat her and talked to her. It was really sweet of him to do that, he didn't have to. The next morning, he was there again, standing by the road, looking for her pet rabbit. She wondered why hasn't he looked for her owner. It was okay. She did not mind looking through the window, just looking at him, without him knowing that she was watching. She enjoyed the view. Almost every morning, he would be there. She has not gathered enough courage to talk to him but she also wondered why he hadn't looked for Scuffy's owner. Maybe he spoke rabbit language like how Dr. Dolittle spoke to his animals. She liked how he would feed her rabbit. Sometimes he brought carrots, sometimes lettuce and some days, he would bring Scuffy snacks, pellets which looked store bought. Maybe he had pet rabbits too, that would explain why he got along with Scuffy. One day, she had to go back to her parents' for a few weeks because her father was hospitalized. She brought Scuffy with her and left her home. She spent most of her time taking care of her family when they needed her and was too tired by the end of every night to think of anything else. When everything had settled down and her father, on the road to recovery, she went back to her place. It was all dusty and her plants, mostly dried. She cleaned up her place and fed Scuffy. When she fed Scuffy, she was reminded of the guy. The next morning, she looked out of her window as she washed her dishes and wondered if he would come. But she has been away for so long. She waited and continued to wonder. Image by Stefan Fluck from Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/usoJcs--nEk

@marblely 3 February 2021

This was in my aunty's garden. Do you spot a fly? #MyGarden

@marblely 1 February 2021

Do you believe in the spirits of the forest? https://read.cash/@marblely/spirits-of-the-forest-71d2d5e9

@marblely 1 February 2021

Spirits of the Forest I remembered back when I was a senior in high school, there was a time when some of us were sent for a team building activity at a camp site near the foot of a mountain. We arrived at the camp site almost sunset and we were told that our first activity was called "Owl", scheduled for 8PM. None of us knew what it was and why was there an activity planned that late but we were excited and anxious nonetheless. But first, we gathered in the camp's dining hall to have our dinner. We ate, chatted and laughed. At about 8PM, one of our teachers went to the front of the dining hall and explained that for our "Owl" activity, we had to first memorize a message that would be passed from one student to another and the last student must have the correct message. We didn't understand what was the purpose of this but we were giggling and laughing when after several tries, the last student still had the message wrong. We were so engrossed in our giggles and laughters when suddenly, our teacher shouted "Do you think this is a joke?!", looking rather annoyed. The bustling room suddenly turned silent. Everyone in the room was stunned. We thought it was a joke, guess not. We stopped laughing and made sure we passed the message correctly. We tried another few rounds and we got annoyed ourselves when the last person couldn't get the message correct. After more than ten tries, we finally did it. When our teacher was satisfied with our "achievement", she ushered us out of the dining hall into the camp gates, together with some men who were the camp site's officers. Curious, we just followed along and gathered under the moonlight. The night was cool and the moon was surprisingly bright. We were asked to find a partner, a senior with a junior and queue in line. Then, our teacher led us into the forest. She placed each pair of us at a spot, a few hundred meters away from one another. As we took our spots, wondering what was going on, we were reminded to remember the secret message that was passed earlier. We nodded and sat at our spots as the teacher continued to lead the rest to their spots. As I sat there with my junior, we chatted for a bit, whispered mostly as the night was silent and it didn't feel right to talk. Luckily the moonlight was bright, we didn't feel that afraid. We didn't know how long we were suppose to sit there but we told ourselves to just brave it up. We sat there, almost falling asleep when we heard leaves rustling behind us. We froze. My junior looked at me with a very worried face and started shaking. I, on the other hand, was shaking inside but I had to keep a straight face to console her because it was pointless if we were both scared. We held hands, closed our eyes and prayed the way we knew how. After some very long minutes, the sound stopped. We felt relieved and prayed the teacher would come and get us soon. It felt like forever when we saw a ray of light, our teacher's torch, we prayed. True enough, we saw our teacher and we jumped to follow her behind. The long night finally ended and none of us spoke of what we heard. The next morning, after breakfast, our teacher brought us to a place that overlooked the forest that she brought us to. She explained the purpose of the "Owl" was to test our endurance and courage. Then, she went on to explain that the message passing from the night before was to make sure that we did not follow the spirits of the forest. Suddenly, we felt goosebumps. We thought of the sounds and some of us remembered that we did not cross check the secret message before we followed the teacher, including myself. What if the teacher we followed was not our teacher? A creepy thought as we looked to the mysterious forest. Image by Sebastian Unrau on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/sp-p7uuT0tw

@marblely 31 January 2021

Nike's slogan is my inspiration these days.... https://read.cash/@marblely/just-do-it-61aee55b

@marblely 31 January 2021

Just do it. *Hesitation. Procrastination. Over-thinking. Contemplation.* *Friends of inaction.* *Enemies of action.* There are many things in life that we want to do but we pause. We either hesitate, procrastinate, contemplate, over-think or just plain lazy, or a combination of the above. The end result, we end up not doing anything. Some things, I agree, should be thought over but for some things, we end up missing out. In times like this, I tend to be reminded of Nike's slogan "Just Do It.". The slogan became a part of Nike since 1987/1988 (*source 1**,* *source 2*) and when I first saw it in Nike's advertisements, I thought it was pretty catchy but little did I know, it became part of my inspiration too. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_Do_It https://www.creativereview.co.uk/just-do-it-slogan/ There were many instances when decisions were needed and the voices in my head kept whispering, contradicting each other, usually giving me more headache than a solution. The whispers would go on for hours. Should I mop the floor? Should I change the sheets? Should I sew? Should I cook? Should I bake? Should I change the curtains? Should I continue sleeping? Should I just rest today? Endless questions in my head everyday and whispers are never-ending too. Whichever voice is louder, I would tell off the softer voice or tell myself to *Just Do It*! There were many points in my life when I was presented with opportunities. Opportunities to go climbing, to go diving, to fly, to jump, to play musical instruments, to take roller coaster rides, to start something new, to try something different. Most of which, I just went ahead and do it! There were also times when those around me contemplate, hesitate too and if I get impatient with them after a long while of patience, I would tell them to *Just Do It.* Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but it was worth the try :). Over the years, thanks to the slogan, I managed to gain many experiences. There were some I missed out because of hesitation and over-thinking. But memories of climbing hills and mountains while I was able to, diving into sea of a different worlds, exhilaration of roller coaster rides, letting it all go and screaming at the top of my lungs, are all still very vivid in my mind. No regrets.

@marblely 27 January 2021

Alterations, not the most fun thing to do but is necessary, mostly to save money or to save a favourite garment.

@marblely 19 January 2021

When priorities change People often say life is a journey and I personally have written similarly too. As cliche as it sounds, it is pretty true. As we go through life, we are constantly faced with trials and tribulations, with the unexpected and inevitable. What once mattered may no longer matter and what used to be important, may seem so trivial at every new point of our journey. There is a saying that the most constant of things is change. Some may argue that they do not change but I believe we do change eventually, from the way we view life to the way we live our life based on the situations we encountered and the experiences we gained along the way. As a young child growing up, many things took priority, from who our best friends were, to our favourite singers and groups. Idolization of certain individuals or groups of people, posters and banners, would have been a priority on our bedroom walls, to writing autograph books as we leave our friends when we move into teenage hood and college years. We may have crushes, best friends and enemies. Back then, our priorities were different. We spent our time being with friends whom we thought were our best friends, we hung out almost all the time in school until we said our goodbyes when we went our separate ways after high school. For those who were introverts, friends were not a priority and time was spent alone with books or things alike which brought more happiness, compared to hanging out with so-called friends. Then came the college and university years or for some, a direct flight to adulthood with work or parenthood responsibilities. Each of us have different experiences, some with hardships, some sorry, some with joyfulness and some, with undefined emotions but each is incomparable because each experience is different. When life throws us a curve ball, we either try to catch it or get hit hard by it or try to dodge it, hoping we do not get hit by it. But sometimes, we can't escape fate, like the way it was depicted in the movie "Final Destination", although the movie is pretty gruesome, so, lets not go there! This becomes more apparent when we have gone through a near death experience. When we run a playback on the incidents that led to that experience, one can't help but wonder how some things happened and how the "stars" or the opposite of stars were aligned, depending on how positive or negative the experiences were. The same goes with when we lose those we love and the experiences that led to their deaths. We would start to rethink our priorities in life. We would also need to take a stand on what matters to us and say no to anything that might jeopardize that while concurrently juggle and balance with all other elements that surround us. It also changes the things we value most and things that used to upset us would look so trivial that we wondered why were we so angry before. We would open our eyes bigger and see life differently. As an adult now, health and family matters. Happiness matters and anything that messes with that will need to be re-prioritized.

@marblely 17 January 2021

Making time Very often, I feel that time passes by like a bullet train. Do you feel the same? Week after week, I go through similar routines and by the end of it, another week has passed and here I go again, going through the same routines as the week before. Then, before I realize it, minutes, hours, days, weeks pass and hey, it is another year again! Where did the time go, what did I do, what have I achieve? This is especially a challenge if at work, we are required to document our achievements for the year as part of the job's key performance index (KPI). It was always a dreaded period of time. How often have you used the phrase "I didn't have time"? I know I am guilty of that which then made me realize, the more I say it, the more factual it becomes. There are so many things that we would like to do but very often, brushed aside in order to complete our daily work, chores and routines or we do not prioritize the things that we like to do or enjoy doing as important. When our priorities give way to chores and work, many things that would usually fuel our soul stays in the background and most time forgotten. Sometimes, we let time just pass by, by sleeping a little too much or bumming around, doing nothing, perhaps due to lack of mood or just plain tired, mentally. We can have all the time in the world but if the mood isn't there, nothing gets done. That would be a different story all together and I feel that too sometimes. Mood affects me in ways that I can't really fathom sometimes. But that will be for another day's discussion. I came to realise that the more we tell ourselves, or others that we do not have time, the more it is real that we do not have time. If you have heard of the "Law of Attraction", every word we say or write down, every word we think about, every action we choose to do, every wish we wish for, they each attract the realization of those words. "Be careful what you say, be careful what you write and be careful with what you wish for", can't be more true than this. But in cases when we say that *we do not have time for such nonsense*, then no worries there because whatever that is, it is not worth our time. With all the hustles and bustles of our daily routine, I think we do need to make time for things that are important to us. Even if it means just 5 minutes and it applies to almost anything and everything. It can be as simple as reading a favourite book, indulging in our hobbies, calling up a loved one, writing or even making some "me time". If it means something to us, we should make time. We can wake up a little earlier, sleep a little later, to indulge in what we like to do. When we make time, there is no more excuse that we didn't have time. If we can't seem to make time for it, I guess it is not that important after all. Here I am, making time to write because as much as I have neglected this hobby of mine for the past few months, writing still means a lot to me. It is a form of my expression and I am going to make time to write again, even if it is 5 minutes a day. This goes to creating the mood to do so as well. I have to admit that a writer's block is real and there are days that I would stare on my screen, wondering what to write. But hey, little by little, bit by bit, makes an article right? Now, I am off to making some time to do the other things that I have been thinking about.

@marblely 10 January 2021

Chasing shadows Shadow is a funny thing. Sometimes it looks as though it is chasing us and sometimes it is as if we are chasing them. Sometimes, it makes us look funny and sometimes they look quite unexpected like a piece of art. But, chasing shadows are quite fun and exciting. It was a cloudy day, hardly any sun in sight. I was hanging my laundry at the balcony when I spotted it. It was very soft and very slight, there but almost not. When suddenly the sun shone through, I couldn't help but chase after the shadow. It was a very quick "now I see it, now I don't" moment. Within a few seconds, the shadow disappeared. I took a photo slightly higher up to capture a "bigger picture". My balcony had a railing and I had plants around with its metal holders. The shadow created on the ground looked like a painting almost. When things are overlapped, the look of the shadow totally changes. This one looked like a narrow bird's cage. It is fun chasing after shadows, whether it is shadows from the sun or from the light indoors. Each has its own beauty and form possibilities. All photos are my own, taken using my iPhone 6.

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@marblely 7 January 2021

Let us count our blessings everyday <3

@marblely 12 December 2020

When health matters Growing up, I have been told many things, things that were suppose to be for my own good. Some of them, I take heed but most, I wouldn't listen, brushing them aside and left forgotten....until now. "Don't go out under the sun so much or you will spoil your skin!" Back then, I didn't care. I love going out under the sun. I would walk by the beach, swam in the pool, go jogging, under the scorching hot sun around noon. I took the laundry in when the sun was shining high above and the heat bit the skin, almost tearing it apart. I liked it back then, just to get some tan. Get some tan. Get some tan indeed. Now, I live with the freckles and dark pigmentations all around my face and hands. I can't count the number of times I was told not to eat too much sweets or my teeth will pay the price. But I do love sweets and chocolates. I have had my share of sneaking a bite or two or three of chocolates when nobody was around, when nobody was looking and nobody here being my parents. Or how about those times when I popped in a sweet or two and kept them in my mouth, sucking and savoring the sweetness. I was told too not to bite into sweets and ice cubes but I did anyway. And now, my teeth pays the price of needing fillings and my gums are getting weaker by the day. How about the times when I was told to bend my knees when I carry heavy stuffs? "Don't carry too many heavy stuffs or you will hurt your back!" I thought I was strong and I didn't care either. I carried anything and everything I possibly could, slinging across, hanging all around my arms, thinking nothing would hurt me... until now. My back hurts, my knees hurt and I am living with the consequences everyday. There were the times when I was told not to eat junk food. But I did like junk food as a kid, brainwashed by my taste buds and advertisements on telly plus peer influence in school. "Taste this, its yummy" and then I was hooked. I didn't care about what went inside my digestive system. Sure, my body could take it, I was sure of it... until now. Funny things started to happen, skin allergies, inflammation and then when I reflect, I can't help but wonder, was it all the junk food I ate. I was also told not to sleep late too. But I did and I still do. Back when I was just starting work, I hardly slept, chasing after deadlines. Now, I try to sleep earlier but I still sleep late, distracted with work too and sometimes just telly. I now live with dark eye circles and goodness what else. When it comes to improving our health, I thought that any form of exercise is good for us. I was wrong. I didn't listen to my body and kept pushing my body to do beyond what it can. My knees especially paid the price. Too much squats, too much running. It ain't good. We need to listen to our body and do everything in moderation. In the past ten years or so and very recently too, people who are near and dear to me started getting sick from all sorts of illnesses and some has passed away, either from cancer, from heart attack, from stroke. Some of it may possibly be due to genetics but most of it, I believe, goes back to how we lived our lives as we grew up. Our food and water intake, our daily exposure to pollution, our environment, our unhealthy habits and lifestyles. Imagine all the accumulated stuffs that has ingested and breathed in. Who knows what is going on within us? I didn't understand it back then the value of life, how our past actions would affect our future. Our body is hurting and deteriorating inside, and we wouldn't know until much later. When health deteriorates, nothing else matters much. You will need money for sure because healthcare is expensive in most countries. For those of you who have money, what would be the point of all the money when you can't spend it the way you like. You spend the rest of your life aching, worrying and working trying to cure yourself. Some places may not have the facilities and medication you need to get cured, what can you do then? For those of us who are still young, take heed and listen to advice from our elders. They know best because they've been through it all. Take a step back and reflect. Do what you can to protect yourself, to take care of yourself and nourish yourself, spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally. You may be one who prefers to care for others close to you, more than yourself but remember to keep yourself close to your heart because only when you are well and healthy, that you can care for others. Health matters now. *Photo by Deniz Altindaz on Unsplash* https://unsplash.com/photos/t1XLQvDqt_4

@marblely 2 November 2020

A good day? Maybe. Days passed and we are now in November. My mind wandered and wondered, where did the time go? Soon, it will be the end of 2020, the most "eventful" year so far. A year of many firsts, of many discoveries and for many, trials and tribulations. Every day, we wake up and go through the day. Some days, easier than another. Some days are so hard that we wished they end as fast as possible. Some days, even when the day has not arrived, there are anticipations and sometimes anxiety. Some days, it does not matter. The day may come and go as it pleases. As the day passes by, just as fast as it comes and goes, we decide on what we need to do or not to do. Obligations and responsibilities usually take priority. If we have plants to water, pets to feed, work to be done, chores to be completed, we do them. If we feel up to it, we get loads of things done and the day may feel productive. Some days, we just don't feel like doing much and the mind just decides to put aside the to-do things. Sometimes, even when we do not do much, the days passes by but we feel good. Where else some days, it feels like crap. I guess that is what us, homo sapiens are like. We have so many thoughts and emotions within us, that each may surface as and when it pleases. I wonder if our pets think and feel as much as us. Animals in general, through their need for survival, would have much to think about too, don't they? "Did you have a good day?" or "How was your day?" someone might ask. It takes a moment or two to think about it and at the end of it, the answer is usually ambiguous. I don't know, really. Some parts of the day may be good, some parts may be so-so and maybe one part or two could have been better. What makes a good day, anyway? Or what makes a bad day? Each noun is subjective to an individual. A good day for me, may not be considered as a good day for you and vice versa. But should I care or do you care? During one of my travels, as I was walking around, I was greeted with "How's it going?" or "How are you doing?". Each time, I would answer the greeting until someone told me that I didn't need to, they were just being polite and didn't care how my day was. That got me thinking. If on a fine day, I didn't do much but somehow, I feel I had a good day. When I tell that to someone who asks, "Oh...." the response would come. And if I had a bad day, what would you do about it or what can you do about it? I can't help but wonder, what do you care about my day anyway? I guess, it is possible that you would like to ask my favour and therefore, you would like to gauge how my mood was. Or perhaps, it is just a conversation filler? So really, do you want to know or do you really care how was my day? Whether or not I had a good day or a bad day, it will be my own to appreciate. Prompt: good day

@marblely 26 October 2020

O' Potato... It took a long while for these babies to sprout. I followed @gertu13 's suggestion to place the potato in the fridge. At room temperature, the potatoes go bad due to the humidity but in the fridge, they last quite long and if it works out, they would sprout too. We love potatoes and we have a grand wish to be able to harvest loads of potatoes but with the limited space that we have, a small harvest will do :) I think we bought the Russett potato variety and left them in the fridge for months now. We thought perhaps it is time to plant it, especially since we managed to clear one of the bigger pots from the weed mint plant. The potato is said to be a good source of vitamins C and B6, potassium, fiber and carbohydrate which provides many levels of benefits to health from heart health to digestion to cancer and metabolism (*source 1**,* *source 2**).* https://www.livescience.com/45838-potato-nutrition.html https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/280579#10_possible_health_benefits We placed the potato and its babies into the soil and within a few days or a week, we see greens appearing. And it keeps growing, day by day... I took a shot every other day and it is growing quite fast upwards. I am wondering how is it looking underneath the soil but we will be leaving it for a while before we dig to see. The leaves look really good and I wonder if we can cook them too. Most sources say the leaves are not edible (*source*) due to its possible high *Solanine* content which can lead to Solanine poisoning, although it is possible to eat sweet potato leaves, not the usual potato leaves. https://www.garden.eco/can-you-eat-potato-leaves I guess we will leave the leaves for now and wait to harvest. Few months perhaps? O' potato, potato, we patiently wait for you. All photos were taken using my iPhone 6, close-up and at different angles, by placing half of the phone into the pot.

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@marblely 11 October 2020

Boredom? Why do we allow ourselves to go there? How is it that we can feel bored when there are so many things in the world for us to do? And for us who are always doing something, never a moment to rest, when there is an opportunity to not do anything, it is quite a bliss. When I was younger, I did allow myself to go there, staring at blank spaces, wondering what I was doing, not knowing what to do with all the time that I have and feeling naturally bored. Or the times that I had to keep doing the same thing over and over again, sighing almost daily and wondering how do I keep going, doing the same thing. But first, we need to ask ourselves, is being bored bad? It is not necessarily bad but when one starts to say that they feel bored, the sentiment is usually negative, isn't it? If I had the time and that I enjoy the time of not having to do anything, I wouldn't say that I am bored. I would say that I am enjoying my me-time, not having to do anything, just relax and watch the world go by, or watch something go by, wherever I am. Or maybe fold and play paper plane? After experiencing death of loved ones over the recent years, I have come to appreciate the time I have with what I have, with the ones who matter to me, who are still around. Once time passes, once we lose someone close and dear, nothing can bring them back. The past will be the past and that is it. We will only be left with memories, good or bad. When we realize that life is short and that time zooms pass by way too fast, faster than we are able to comprehend, we wouldn't have the time to feel bored or reach the state of boredom. Every second counts and everything matters. We are lucky in some ways because our world has been flattened. Almost everything is available at our fingertips, well sort of. With internet, a smartphone and some applications, we can learn almost anything we want, travel to anywhere, just by a few taps and clicks and swipe. I have traveled to places I never thought I would if I had the money to, I have been given sneak peaks into factories to see how things were made, places that I would never have been given permission to and I have been able to see hundreds of ways to do something, to be able to compare and choose the best way that suits me, if I choose to learn it. All in the comfort of my home or wherever I am. If I have been doing something for too long, too repetitive, I just pause and take a moment to rest my brain for a bit. I can read a book, browse for something online, maybe do some online window shopping, or find some tutorials, or play a game. The possibilities are endless. If I want to rest my eyes, I can just close my eyes, listen to music or without music, enjoy a cup of tea or just clear water and rest. Or if I feel like a good workout, I can take a walk or do some stretches in front of the telly. If I live in the countryside, I will have a natural view but I can look for one online too. There is really no time to be bored, is there?

@marblely 10 October 2020

Of Expectations and Disappointments During my younger years, I used to get disappointed with myself quite a bit, the kind of disappointment that can sometimes be heart aching and wrenching. It was not easy to control the feeling of disappointment, it comes without warning, and overtake the hopeless mind, which in turn makes it hard to move on. If we are not careful, we could get stuck in the disappointment. Sometimes, it was not an expectation of my own but from others, especially those who has a higher authority or perceived higher authority. The feeling of disappointment from others would be chanelled to me and in the end, it became mine to bear, one that was heavy to the heart and brings tears to the eyes. It can be as simple as being disappointed that I did not do well in an exam when I thought I did or when others thought I did, disappointed that I did not get the job that I thought I nailed or others thought I should get, disappointed that I did not get the response I was hoping for, disappointed that the chocolate I bought did not taste the way I thought it would and many, many more instances. Many times, the disappointed feeling lasted a few days or up to weeks. And once the feeling comes, it was not easy to brush off. Part of it, I blamed it on my naivety, part of it, my mind control was quite poor and a big part of it, I didn't know why I was disappointed. But as I grew older, I realized the level of my disappointment wasn't as great as I was younger. It took a long while before I realized the correlation between expectation and disappointment. In some rare moments of reflection, I became more aware of my feelings and noticed that when I told myself not to expect something, my level of disappointment was lowered or near zero, although in reality, having zero expectations is not something easy to achieve because deep, deep, deep down inside, there would still be some glimmer of hope. When it came to taking exams, or going for job interviews, I reseted my brain to not expect much. I told myself, if I get it, I get it, if I don't, it is alright. I shall try again, if I have the energy to try again. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I realized that it was not worth trying again and refocused my energy to do something else. It is the same when it comes to getting something for free. When it comes to lucky draws, or lucky dips, I do not expect to win. It is easier for the heart and the mind. One may hope to win, but one should not expect because hey, it is free anyways. If it is something contractual, something you signed up for and agreed upon that you will be paid or given something in return for a certain amount of work or deliverable, that would be different topic altogether. In these cases, it is given to expect. The same goes with a paid service or paid product. For something that I have paid with my hard earned money, I will have an expectation and I personally think we should all have an expectation. Not surprisingly, there are many, many quotes related to this topic, and here I leave some that I agree with and for our reading pleasure (*source*): https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/expectations “I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.” ― Bill Watterson “My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus." [*The Science of Second-Guessing* (*New York Times Magazine Interview*, December 12, 2004)]” ― Stephen W. Hawking “There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations” ― Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3375915 “A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect.” ― Jonathan Lockwood Huie “I'd rather be pleasantly surprised than fatally disappointed.” ― Julia Glass, I See You Everywhere https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3109840 “I hope you do not let anyone else's expectations direct the course of your life.” ― Julianne Donaldson, Edenbrooke https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/17969941

@marblely 8 October 2020

Silky, creamy, smooth Avocado drink Is avocado a fruit or a vegetable? Apparently, a popular question or debate topic. I had the same question too. It wasn't really a burning question, but nonetheless, I did my little internet search and voila, most, if not all hits said it is a fruit but it is nutritionally like a vegetable (*source 1**,* *source 2*). https://loveonetoday.com/nutrition/avocado-fruit-or-vegetable/ https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/is-avocado-a-fruit-or-a-vegetable Avocado has a savory taste and a buttery, creamy texture which is not everyone's cup of tea. Personally, I really like it, in salads, in sandwiches and my latest craving, Avocado drink or some say juice or smoothie. I first tried it at a Vietnamese restaurant nearby that served pho, but the restaurant has since closed down. It was rich, silky, creamy and yummy. I did ask the restaurant manager what was the ingredient, he was a little secretive about it and I probed, "Was there milk?" He said yes, there was milk. I couldn't think of anything else. Haha. And so, milk and avocado was in my head for the longest time (more than a year). Last 2 weeks, I decided to buy 2 avocados. Avocados are not cheap, 1 avocado can cost up to 3 to 4 dollars. My craving was quite high, which led me to getting 2 precious avocados. The avocados were not that ripe yet and I waited. And waited and waited until it turned dark. But they did not turn dark the same time. People said to wait until the skin turns dark purple and soft when pressed. I did not see dark purple, I thought it was more like dark, dark brown :D At first I kept them in the fridge and they decided to not ripe. I took them out after a few days and watched them like a hawk everyday. I touched them, turned them and they slowly, very slowly turned darker. Once they were about 80% dark, I placed them into the fridge and waited some more. I think I waited a little too long. By the time I cut it open, some parts have turned grey inside but still delicious. The flesh was soft, smooth and creamy. I scraped the *mesocarp* layer which was the flesh (*source*) into my blender. https://loveonetoday.com/nutrition/avocado-fruit-or-vegetable/ And added a cup of fresh milk (250ml) into the blender. Then, I added 2 to 3 dashes of honey for some sweetness. I closed the lid and blended away. I tried this in 2 different occasions. The first time, I blended like crazy but for not too long, just about 10 to 20 seconds, while the second time, I did a pulse blend. The result, if you like some texture, i.e. you would still like to chew the avocado, you can go with a pulse blend. The first crazy blending, gives a richer, thicker and creamier drink. Once I was happy with the blending and the amount of, I couldn't wait to pour it into a glass and taste. It looked divine and the taste was divine too, but for avocado and fresh milk lovers :)

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@marblely 7 October 2020

Life isn't like a box of chocolate, is it? I can still remember the famous line from the 1994 movie, *Forrest Gump*, when the lead character (played by Tom Hanks) says “*My mom always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.*” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forrest_Gump https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Hanks In a box of chocolates (I am guessing in this case, is the kind that comes with a variety of flavours), I would probably be able to enjoy 7 to 8 out of 10 flavours, whatever they may be. Maybe one, two or three may not be to my liking but overall, the experience of eating them would be a pleasant one, unless the chocolates are low quality ones. And they are usually not a surprise because there will be a sheet of paper with a list of flavours inserted somewhere in the box or on the box itself, with its corresponding shape which we can refer to and choose to our taste. Life isn't like that, is it? As much as I would like to think that life is a box of chocolate, I think in reality, life is more like a road or a path, one that leads to somewhere, sometimes nowhere but it is up to us to make the best of it. Sometimes we know where we are headed to but at most times, we'll never know what lies ahead and what obstacles we may face along the way. At times, we may feel like we are on a highway, a smooth drive but it gets a little mundane and boredom kicks in, and at times, the road gets a little too narrow or too steep and hazardous that it takes a whole lot of effort to go through, even just a short distance. Sometimes we find shelter from the rain and sometimes, we just have to keep moving until we find a place to stop and rest. Sometimes, the road is a scenic one and sometimes, nothing much around. Ever so often, we may reach a stream or a quicksand or a muddy path, and we will need to tread carefully around it or find a way to get past it, so that we do not fall and drown. But sometimes, we may accidentally step into one and risk drowning or dying while we decide if we want to give up or we do all we can to save ourselves. The choices we have? They are like our crossroads, aren't they? We reach a crossroad and we have to decide which path to take. Left, right, front or should we make a u-turn back? Sometimes, we may think we know where the road leads but the fact is, we may be caught off guard or be thrown a curve ball. Then, we would be forced to reach another crossroad or a fork, make a detour, and choose another path to take, hoping for the best. Sometimes, it is too late to make a u-turn and all you can do is to move forward. Life can be tough. Many of us have experienced and may be experiencing hard times, that test our mental and physical strength, sometimes to a point of hopelessness. Throughout our life, we have choices to make and in some cases, circumstances are as such that choices were made for us. Every choice we make, or made for us, is a road that leads to somewhere. At the point when we need to make a choice, we are at a crossroad. Sometimes we do not know where the road leads to and sometimes we do. Sometimes, it feels like the right road to turn to at that time and sometimes, the road ended up to be the wrong one but by the time we realize it, we are far too deep into the road. When that happens, we have to make more choices. Do we turn back? Can we turn back? Or do we keep going and take another road along the way, that hope that it will be a better road? We sometimes need to adapt and be creative, to turn the wrong choices to be a right one for us, or one that we hope will be the right one in a near future. Life is not really a box of chocolate, maybe sometimes it is, when things are pleasant. Essentially, life is like a road, or some may say a journey. We may know our destination, but we may not be able to anticipate the challenges thrown at us along the way. But at every crossroad we are at, we can only hope that we choose the right path and if it is a wrong one at first, I'd say to try to make it a right path for us, because hey, as long as we are still alive, we might as well make the most and the best out of it, in whatever circumstances we may be in or we will live miserably for the rest of our lives.

@marblely 6 October 2020

A walk in the park, some time ago This morning, I decided to take a trip down memory lane by looking through my photos. The initial intent was to clear some storage from the photos that I have been taking since some years back. But as it went, I didn't achieve much of that because I got distracted. How easy it is for us to get distracted sometimes. I had something in mind that I wanted to do and I ended up doing something else instead. The mind wanders and I forgot the initial intent. I came across these photos which I took during a morning walk at a park nearby. as I was supposedly looking for photos to delete. When I looked at the date, it was 2018. How time flew past by. So much has happened, yet when I looked at the photos, it seemed like just yesterday. At the park, there was a pond with koi, big ones, the size of an arm (one orange koi was captured swimming by the rock) but I was attracted to these 2 fellas, basking on the rock (although there was no sun where they were at), one with its head sticking out really long upwards, looking at something, while the other, just a little. They are probably one of the green tortoise species but I am not too sure. At first I thought they are the red eared slider but there was no red near their ears. They are cute nonetheless. Along the path, the sun was shining brightly through a blue sky. The clouds were dispersed that day and not much wind. But the morning breeze was still felt although it started to get hot. I enjoy walking through this part of the park, where the fine roots hang loosely across the veranda. These are the ***Cissus verticillata or Cissus sicyoides***, better known as the Millionaire's vine or some call them Princess vine. This plant is said to have medicinal value (*source 1**,* *source 2*). When the roots are trimmed, they look like pink hair bangs. Walking pass them, I could smell the roots' aroma and just looking at the photos, I could still remember the smell. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12578546/ https://www.topicsonearth.com/millionaires-vine-cissus-sicyoides Nearing the end of the path, there were many of this plant growing, Spider Lily but there was no flower yet. Just thick, green leaves. Another shot of the sun through the leaves of a palm looking plant and railings that surrounds the park. I miss my morning walks as I do stretching at home mostly now and I sleep too late to wake up chirpy for morning walks. Maybe someday. All photos were taken using my iPhone 6 and resized using Canva. https://www.canva.com/

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@marblely 26 September 2020

When alcohol kills not the drunk She was getting better, finally. She could feel it. For the past year, she has been in and out of the hospital. Mostly in. The doctor gave her a new medication. One that was not too strong to cause hair drop but strong enough to kill those bastards. That was the main requirement she gave to the doctor. She didn't want her hair to drop and so far, her hair was still intact. Tonight, she will be going home after 2 weeks in the hospital. She had been given the green light to be discharged and she was to come back next week to go through a CT scan. After which, the doctor was planning to provide a follow-up treatment to continue killing the bad guys in her. She was looking forward to it and her husband had arranged for a short trip with the family to the highlands tomorrow. A breath of fresh air was what she needed although she would still need to carry her bag of urine with her everywhere she went. It wasn't much of a choice considering the disease had squeezed her urethra shut. The trip to the highlands was a wonderful one. She ate and drank all that she could, after not doing much of that for the past year. It was a victory celebration for her, knowing that she was winning the battle. It was a tough one but she battled it out with all her might. That night, she was catching up on her favourite drama when she heard the door. Her son had come home. Drunk. She went to fetch him, as he wobbled into the house, yelling. When she got hold of him, he yelled for his father. Both her husband and son had not been seeing eye to eye for years now. This was not the first time her son came home drunk. His father disagreed with some of his life choices and plans, and because of that, he was always fighting with his father. One of the reasons why she had been so sick. This time, it was different. Her son was shouting at the top of his lungs for his father. There was fury in his eyes. She tried to calm him down, almost crying. He didn't care. His logic and senses were overtaken by his drunkness. He wanted to ask his father, what was it that he wanted him to do. But his father wouldn't go to him. He got angry. He took the table fan and slammed it onto the glass table. The glass table shattered. She couldn't understand it. How did her son become so drunk, while she was still trying to get better from the disease? She tried to hold him but he pushed her away. She fell on the shattered glass. The son, seeing his mother on the ground, he couldn't take it and left the house. They waited for him to come back but he didn't. She became worried sick. She had scratches and decided to treat herself, to avoid people from asking. A week passed and she missed her CT scan. Another week passed, still waiting for her son to come back, when she suddenly felt bloated, to a point that she couldn't sit. Her husband brought her to the emergency ward and she was hospitalized again. The doctor said that the disease made a harsh comeback and caused some liquid inside her to keep producing. She had more bags around her that she lost count. She couldn't move much. She couldn't eat, nor drink. She had given up hope. She told the doctor, no more medication for her. Nothing worked and she was too tired to try anymore. Her son came to visit the other day. But she was too weak to talk, to listen. He cried by her bedside. She closed her eyes while the drug dripped into her, to stop her from feeling more pain than she was already in, while she waited for her time to end.

@marblely 25 September 2020

Finding and keeping the motivation Sometimes, I find myself pausing, and occasionally stopping due to my inability to push myself forward. Although, I know that I have much to do, different things that require my attention, different datelines to meet but I just couldn't find the push to do it. At times, I try to find, or rather, dig for some motivation from within but nothing works. More often than not, I find myself battling within me, to get moving, to find that push factor. Sometimes I find it, but sometimes, nothing comes. As I was thinking about this, I wondered and was curious to read from others, how does one find motivation? I went searching. I browsed around, reading articles related to finding motivation and I noticed that we can't just stop at finding motivation. The very reason to finding motivation has to go hand in hand with keeping it or risk losing it again. That is pretty much the missing piece in my puzzle. I haven't thought much about keeping the motivation or some say, staying motivated. There were 3 articles that I found well worth the read: Tips for getting and staying motivated by ReachOut.com. https://au.reachout.com/articles/tips-for-getting-and-staying-motivated Learn How to Find the Motivation Within to Succeed by Inc. https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/learn-how-to-find-the-motivation-within-to-succeed.html Motivation: How to get started and staying motivated by healthdirect. https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/motivation-how-to-get-started-and-staying-motivated All 3 articles, write about ****setting goals**** as one of the very first steps. ReachOut.com says that by setting a goal, we are making ***a decision*** to achieve it. They went on to explain that a goal ***gives direction*** and should be measurable and has an endpoint. healthdirect added a point that goals should be achievable. Inc. pretty much sums it all with setting **SMART goals** - **S**pecific, **M**easurable, **A**ttainable, **R**elevant and **T**imely. I have read about this SMART acronym, but in project management arena and I was surprised that it was referenced in this context of finding motivation. When I read this, I realized that when I set my mind to do a specific thing, within a specific timeframe and the need to do it, I do get motivated to complete it because there is an ***end in mind***. For example, making gifts for my loved ones for Christmas or for birthdays. There is a specific item to be made, and there is a timeline. And when the dateline gets close, I tend to have that extra push to get them done and that could mean working all night. The same goes with work datelines. There is an amazing ***boost of energy*** when I am put ***under pressure***. Next, the thing that I liked was how Inc. talks about ****minding the mindset****, instead of thinking about how daunting a task may be or how mundane it is, we should think about ***how it will feel when the task is done***. This is also in line with Reach.Out's article that mentions the ***power in finding something within the task that motivates us***, such as thinking the next step once a task is done. I could relate to this point because during the times when I do find motivation in doing something that is mundane such as mopping the floor, I tend to think about the happiness that I would feel once the mopping is completed. It helps in pushing myself to mop. Another important point brought up by these articles is to ****break down**** the goals into manageable bite sizes. Basically to ***start small***, instead of trying to complete a mammoth size goal. I believe that this is one of a motivating factor to continue to be motivated. I could relate this to working a jigsaw puzzle. If we plan our puzzle by first breaking the pieces down into similar colours and start by working the most obvious pieces which is the frame, we can get pumped up to continue working on the puzzle as and when a section is completed. Just as Reach.Out says, it helps to build confidence. Imagine not being able to complete anything at all after spending an hour. We would most likely not continue. Then, there is ****positive self-talk**** that was mentioned in the healthdirect article. I think I do this quite a bit and I do agree that it has a major impact in helping to push myself to do something, especially when motivation is running low. Sometimes it works but sometimes to no avail. But, when I read Inc.'s list to ****crush procrastination****, I think that is one of my weaknesses. Procastination is so easy and finding an excuse or making up an excuse is always the easy way out, isn't it? We need to have the ****discipline**** to "Just Do It", like Nike says. However, the articles also talk about ****finding support**** or mentor or someone to help motivate us and surrounding ourselves with positive people to find that motivation. I would like to agree to this but most times, we do not have the luxury of having someone to take up that role. If we do, then good on us, but if we do not have one, we can take a look around and find in the internet for people in similar boat to read how they do it. ****Summary**** After reading these 3 articles, these are my take home points to find motivation and to stay motivated: Set SMART goal or goals Shape our mindset Break the goal or goals into smaller and manageable tasks Positive self-talk Have the discipline to crush procrastination Find support There are many more pointers listed by the authors but I will start with these first (start small and have attainable goals :D) and revisit the articles. I realized after doing this exercise, is that we tend to believe in what we want to believe in, based on our experiences and write about them as if we are good advisors on the subject. But every now and then, it is good to read other points of view or views with structure, especially when it comes to life experiences or life pointers to improve ourselves.

@marblely 22 September 2020

Popping some corn (kernels)! You know those little white, sometimes yellowish and brown flaky, sweet aroma, crunchy and soft at the same bite puffs? Yup, popcorn! Ooo I really enjoy having them while watching a movie. However, most would say that store bought popcorn is not healthy because of the excess sugar and sodium that comes with it (and whatever else they add into them), to make them tasty for our palette. But if we make them ourselves, it should be healthier? Recently, I started craving for these little puffs, especially since cinemas have been closed for a long while. I browsed around and found homemade popcorn recipes. Some recipes asked to pop the corn kernels at the stove and separately melt sugar to create the caramel sauce, and then coat the popcorn before putting them into the oven to bake. Some shared recipes that looked simple enough but bland looking, while some were simple yet complicated at the same time, to a point that I didn't want to look at the recipes. It seemed like too much work and I wanted to keep it simple. My head started imagining the taste that I like, and the mind started thinking of popping them this way. I bought a packet of corn kernels and decided to pop them! I was not sure how to do it but I just wanted to pop some corn! And this was how I popped them: Ingredients: 2 tablespoons of corn kernels. 1 tablespoon of coconut oil (this adds a soft tinge of aroma to the end result). 1 tablespoon of honey (I was thinking honey should be a healthier option? :) A pot with lid: a size big enough to hold the potentially popped corn (for 2 tablespoons of corn kernels, I used a 16cm saucepan). better to have one that is easy to wash surface because once we add honey or some sort of sweets, it will get messy. a lid is absolutely important to prevent accidental explosion of any kind. Here are the steps... **Step 1 -** Place the corn kernels into a pot. Mix the oil and honey to make sure the corn kernels are nicely coated. **Step 2 -** Cover the pot with its lid and place the pot on low to medium heat. **Step 3 -** Wait and shake the pot a little, every now and then, to move the corn kernels to get the heat evenly spread across and to avoid them getting burn. **Step 4** - After 10 minutes, maybe 12 or 15, depending on the fire, the corn kernels will start to pop! It was quite exhilarating :) I read in some recipes that if we keep the heat low, we should be able to get all the kernels popped without them getting burnt. Mine was a little burnt because I got impatient which I don't mind because I like them slightly crunchy and burnt too. After the explosions have stopped, we can open the lid and add more honey if needed. Aahh.. my "healthy" popcorn (I would like to think so :D) Do you pop your own corn? How do you pop them? :) All photos were taken using my mobile phone, resized and added watermark using Canva. http://www.canva.com

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@marblely 20 September 2020

@Ozzyy's Stories in Series contest which has ended. Thank you @Ozzyy for this opportunity and @Hanzell too for taking the time to judge. Here are the parts for my story, Regrets, as part of the post-requisite for this contest: Regrets (Part 1): https://read.cash/@marblely/regrets-part-1-4a49a136 Regrets (Part 2): https://read.cash/@marblely/regrets-part-2-90c5abcb Regrets (Part 3): https://read.cash/@marblely/regrets-part-3-5ab3a23e Regrets (Part 4 - FInale): https://read.cash/@marblely/regrets-part-4-finale-dfd3fbd0 Check out the Stories in Series(99cf) community for interesting stories in series :)

@marblely 19 September 2020

Regrets (Part 4, Finale) "Grandma! Where are you going?" Ashley shouted as she watched her grandmother boarded the bus. She sat and looked at Ashley through the blurred window. She didn't speak but somehow Ashley could hear her. "I am going somewhere far away my dear and I won't be coming back. Take care love." Ashley, not wanting to believe her, chased after the bus as it rode off. She ran with all her might, hoping to catch up to the bus but not long after, she fell. She closed her eyes and cried until someone shook her. Ashley, puzzled, wiped away the tears and opened her eyes slowly. "It is time, Ash." her father said. The hospital called last night and by the time they rushed to the hospital, her grandmother was no longer with them. Just about two hours ago, Ashley was there by her bedside with her father. She held her grandmother's hand and her father said to let her sleep. That morning, her aunty had said that her grandmother got up and asked for her hair to be combed. She managed to talk a little and ate some porridge. They all thought she was getting better when the hospital moved her to a normal ward the same evening. As they went through the prayers at the wake, Ashley was sent back to the days when she spent time with her grandmother from her childhood days until last night, when she saw her grandmother for the last time while she was still breathing. Ashley couldn't help but wonder if she had spent enough time with her, could she had done more for her in her times of pain. She smiled when she remembered the day her grandmother was watching an action packed movie together. She felt the scenes were so real and she was so distraught by all the scenes where vehicles were getting destroyed and actors killed. Ashley, at that time, kept telling her that they were not real and it was all for entertainment. But her grandmother insisted they were. Her grandmother was no longer with them and all that was left were memories. Did Ashley regret the times that she didn't spend with her? A little. But she would prefer to remember the good times that she had spend with her, all the laughter and smiles. Ashley looked at her mother and wondered too. This is my fourth and final part entry to @Ozzyy 's Stories in Series contest which has ends today. Thank you @Ozzyy for this, I woudn't have thought of writing stories in series and now I have :) https://read.cash/@Ozzyy/concerning-the-stories-in-series-contest-e269c579 Regrets (Part 1) https://read.cash/@marblely/regrets-part-1-4a49a136 Regrets (Part 2) https://read.cash/@marblely/regrets-part-2-90c5abcb Regrets (Part 3) https://read.cash/@marblely/regrets-part-3-5ab3a23e Lead image by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash. https://unsplash.com/photos/QFOnAJVyjtE

@marblely 18 September 2020

Regrets (Part 3) The room grew colder with each passing minute as Ashley held her grandmother's hand while listening to the sounds of her breathing through a ventilator. She massaged every vein and skin that she could see and feel, that has not been bruised by needles. They decided to go for the surgery. There wasn't much of an option. It was either her grandmother suffer and spends the rest of her life hospitalized every other day while the hospital pumps blood into her whenever she loses blood or they take the chance, hope and pray that she could strive through it. She had been in and out of sleep, mostly in. She was out of Intensive Care Unit (ICU) but she was not out of danger yet. "Now, it is up to her will power to live." the doctor said. Looking at her grandmother's frail condition, Ashley couldn't fight the tears that came. Her eyes welled up just seeing a bag of blood and a bag of Natrium Chloride hanging and dripping into her, and to see another 3 bags hanging by the bed, one for her excess bile, another for her urine and one more for what looked like excess blood. She was glad she came. For the past week, while her grandmother was in the ICU, everyone, including relatives from out of country, came to visit. Everyone but her mother. She didn't want to think about the lost case. It was too much to bear. Ashley continued to massage her grandmother's hands, slowly and gently, while humming a song her grandmother used to listen to at home. As she moved on to the legs, her grandmother stirred. This is my third part entry to @Ozzyy 's Stories in Series contest which has ends on September 19, 2020. https://read.cash/@Ozzyy/concerning-the-stories-in-series-contest-e269c579 Regrets (Part 1) https://read.cash/@marblely/regrets-part-1-4a49a136 Regrets (Part 2) https://read.cash/@marblely/regrets-part-2-90c5abcb Lead image by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash. https://unsplash.com/photos/QFOnAJVyjtE

@marblely 15 September 2020

Regrets (Part 2) Ashley hurriedly walked towards Ward 3B. She remembered when her grandmother complained about stomach pain. She had said that she felt hot inside. Everyone thought it was because of her food intake. There were days when her grandmother worriedly told Ashley that she suspected Ashley's mother had wanted to kill her with food. But Ashley and her father had made sure her food had no pepper or anything spicy that may upset the stomach. Some nights when Ashley went home late after work, her grandmother was wide awake. When Ashley asked and probed, her grandmother said she couldn't sleep but did not elaborate. During one of the nights, her grandmother cried out for help, saying there were little people pulling her legs. It brought chills to her bones, and Ashley had thought her grandmother was hallucinating. Ashley spoke to her father and aunties about it. They had wanted to bring her grandmother to the doctor's but she refused each time until that fateful day, when she could no longer stand the pain. Her grandmother still refused to go to the hospital and had wanted to die there and then but her aunties managed to coax her to see a doctor. When they met the doctor, he said that her grandmother had a tumor in her stomach which was the size of a fist, causing internal bleeding and pain. They didn't know she had been passing motion with blood and her grandmother probably didn't realize it. The doctor gave 2 options. One was to leave the tumor and she would bleed ever so often, while the other was to remove the tumor. "The tumor probably started growing more than 4 years ago." the doctor said. "But with her age, she may not be able to handle the surgery. At the same time, she may bleed to death if tumor stayed in her." he added. That was when Ashley realized, it wasn't because of spicy food. It was the tumor. This is my second part entry to @Ozzyy 's Stories in Series contest which has been extended to September 19, 2020. https://read.cash/@Ozzyy/concerning-the-stories-in-series-contest-e269c579 Regrets (Part 1) https://read.cash/@marblely/regrets-part-1-4a49a136 Lead image by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash. https://unsplash.com/photos/QFOnAJVyjtE

@marblely 15 September 2020

Regrets (Part 1) "What do you mean you are going to see her?" Ashley's mother exclaimed. "It is soon to be dinner time!" she added. "What is the point of seeing her?" she asked mockingly. Ashley stared at her mother. She tried hard to remain calm. "What do you intend to do there? Hold her hand?" her mother continued sarcastically. Ashley has never talked back to her mother and has always kept quiet at every sarcasm, mockery that she uttered towards her. But this time, Ashley felt her mother has gone too far. "Yes! I am going to see her now and I am going to hold her hand because she is my grandma!" Ashley stormed out and slammed the door behind her. As she drove to the hospital, tears kept rolling down her cheeks. Ashley thought about her grandmother who has been in the hospital for 2 weeks. Not once did her mother visit her. How could her mother be so cold hearted? Ashley knew her mother had disliked her grandmother for a long time. She has seen how her mother treated her and talked badly about her. Ashley wasn't sure what it was that triggered it all or perhaps it was a build up of emotions from many years ago since her parents got married. But her grandmother was nearing 90 years old. Ever since Ashley was young, her grandmother was the one who cared for them, cooked delicious meals, cleaned and washed after them, while her mother went to work. "Beep! Beep!" Ashley was startled from her thoughts. She looked to the front and the light was green. She quickly moved and turned into the hospital's entrance. This is my first part entry to @Ozzyy 's Stories in Series contest which has been extended to September 19, 2020. https://read.cash/@Ozzyy/concerning-the-stories-in-series-contest-e269c579 Regrets (Part 2) https://read.cash/@marblely/regrets-part-2-e9652a03 Lead image by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash. https://unsplash.com/photos/QFOnAJVyjtE