Marriage Vow "Sacred or A Joke?"

When I was a young innocent girl. I always look up Marriage. For me, it's sacred and divine. I even dreamed of a Grand Wedding with my one great love at the age of 14. A wedding in a church or a beach with all of my friends and classmates are invited. Imagine how many people are they? Those are caused and wishes of this young and innocent heart of mine. Simple wishes can make our hearts happy during our childhood days. But millennial children are hard to please. Things changed as well as the people around you. And so am I. I never thought that I could fall in love again. I've been in seclusion for how many years without going and mingling outside. Typhoon Odette make me go out and my self-love was postponed.

As you can observe in this year 2022. Marriage had become a joke and temporary. Well, no offense to those people who can relate to my article. This is just my own opinion and observation of what is happening in our surroundings. And fireworks to those Married couples out there who stayed strong within these years.

"I love you" is easily spoken that the essence and the true meaning of it were gone! I love you! And people will easily believe and become proud that someone told them that. Then coming next is the marriage proposal. You are very happy that at last you are offered marriage by the person who said I love you to you.

But how sure are you that the meaning and their feelings are the same? What If, they just told you that they love you because that is the right thing to do. They are doing right while their feelings might be wrong. And because this is the right thing to do. They will feel obligated and will marry you that could end up saying both of your "I do's."

Then after just a few days or months the two of you will exchange your wedding vows. Just imagine that you said it heartily while crying in front of the one you love or let's say with the one you thought you love? Sounds confusing hehe. Me too, I don't know what I'am talking about lol.

And suddenly, a bomb was dropped on your gorgeous face! That they will end your relationship because they have been unfaithful and cheated! Then your reaction is this. "Ha?" Hahaha, what happened to your life that turned upside down? It's just an expression, my dear friends. I'am not happy with this topic. In fact I'am angry, but I'am controlling myself not to throw away some hurtful words.

In just one day. Your world collapsed and ended. The person that you love dearly cheated on you. And you might overthink what is lacking for you? What is there that he managed to cheat. What's into her? Is she good in bed? Is she more beautiful than you? She's kind? She's rich? Or what else? Your mind will be clouded by an endless question that you, yourself created. Overthinking leads to anxiety and depression. Some people could end their life. But please, don't do this. There's always a smile after the heartaches.

There's always hope after you fall. There's always a better tomorrow waiting for you. But the question is. Is there? Even though I didn't know if there is but I keep going on even if it hurts.

Marriage Vow became a joke this year. The most couple who gets married this year end up being separated and broken. How much more are those couples who are not famous? I'm sure there are many of them too who get married and ended painfully.

There's no guarantee in Marriage because even if you are in a relationship for so long. Once the other person cheated and fall out of love. It will take just a blink of an eye to destroy your relationship. To destroy your Marriage.

I'm thankful that I didn't get Married. I'm still single but taken lol. But you know the pain is all the same, Married or not. There's no guarantee in this chaotic world. People always get tempted and untrue.

I guess I will remain true for at least 2 decades. But I will be dead by that time. There's no forever for me too haha.

If you are not sure. Don't promise, because it will be very painful once you broke that promise. Just prove instead. Act don't speak.

In this lifetime, one person make me a promise but I didn't compromise. When he heard the song Don't cry, Joni. The song is describing an older guy and a younger girl. And it perfectly described the two of us. The girl Married his best friend John instead. I will never forget his facial expression when he told me. "Not! Never do it!" And I didn't mind him at all. Just maybe he is only joking. He got this sense of humor for being a joker. There are no dull moments when I'am with him but there's full of heartaches lol. He just chuckled when I didn't get what he meant.

I guess that's why he's been unfaithful and had lots of lovers because I'm too young! Too innocent to be exact. I'am 14 years old and he is 21. Our relationship remains secret until I reach the age of 16 or 17.

I always told him in my letters that I will wait for him no matter what. Just like what he wanted me to do. But the pain and hurt are unbearable every time I saw him with other girls. He had lots of girlfriends. And what about me? A secret love affair!

I got wild and accepted many boyfriends as much as I could. That's how confident I'am before. But of course, I'am not proud of this and didn't teach my daughters to be like me. Until I got pregnant with my daughter's father.

That's the time he leave the country and worked far away from me. When he came back, my eldest daughter was born which he beg me before to name after him. But I didn't grant his word because it will be unfair to the father of my daughter.

He just told me that he is getting married and will settle down. There was regret in his voice when he said. "If only you wait..."

How can I wait if I'am not sure about his feelings towards me? But I regret that I didn't wait and suffered for 2 decades of loving him. He just told me that for hundreds of girls he had. There's only one person in his heart. And who could have thought that it is me? It's too late!

We both came from a Broken family. So, we choose our own family. Protecting not to be broken. We separated and walk our different paths. Just wish for his happiness and good health always.

Do you see? From the beginning of our relationship. Cheating is there! We are both hard-headed and prideful. But at the end of the day, we both love each other. But it's our karma for not being together. And I've been suffering from this so-called Complete Family!

While I'm trying my best to give my daughters a complete and happy family. I didn't notice that I'd been Broken! So broken that it's hard to fix no matter what I do.

Then at last I choose to be free and alone. But the game of Fate makes a joke in me. Destiny open my heart again and let me fall in love without giving a warning sign!

I only promise to one person in this lifetime. And this time. I won't back out, But my foundation is already shaking and going to collapse. I'am still holding on because I promise!

Maybe it sounds confusing to you. Even me is still confused. Why do I let myself do this? Why? Because I love him!

No matter how I look at the picture. There will never be us! We are not meant to be. He deserves someone better. I'am not good for him...

But my promise to him is always true. I will always be here no matter what. No matter what happens. I will remain and will never break this promise until I'am alive...

We also had a choice. And I choose this life. Some will say "Bawi nalang next life. But there is no next life! Because you have no memory in your next life. You will start a new life without the memories from the past."

Dito ako babawi in this lifetime. Because of next life... We will meet like a stranger and I can't fulfill what I promise if I can't even remember that I loved you in my past!

Oh, thank you for reading. I was caught up in my emotions and become emotional lol.

There's nothing I can say but Goodluck to all of us... Good luck with the life that we choose... Happiness for you all.

leejhen 🤍

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