Thinking To Quit Or To Stay In The Guild
This is just my random thought after commiting lose streak in Axie Infinity haha. Just to remind you, I never say that I hate our guild. In fact, they are giving me simultaneous opportunities to earn, but the P2E itself is such disappointing.
While writing this in my read.cash account, I can't help but to be sad. From the past few days since I entered AxieBCH, I began to be busy from my daily responsibilities. Not just busy, but literally busy.
When I was still active on the Discord to be the next scholar, I'm often thinking how much could I earn. Looking how much did they accumulate by just playing is quite enticing compared on the other guilds. Even socializing is my main weaknesses, I'm still wishing that I will also be to be a part of their family.
Aside from that, I also remember after I passed after the second try. Good thing that all the questions in the interviews are only about the background of Axie and AxieBCH itself, so I passed. But after I got my account, I get anxious. I get how to play the game eventually naman na, and I admit that it is not easy. At first, I thought that it is just easy like you'll only do simple math, and you can win. But then, I became sick to the point that I wanted to give up.
It's been already five months since I'm playing Axie. In my personal experience, it is quite stressing. Will I still need to sacrifice my mental health just to earn less than $20 bi-weekly? I can earn it in just a day here on read.cash, lol. Instead of playing it to reduce my stress, it became opposite. Sad to know that I get blinded with money, and it wrecked all of my built expectation.
When the price of each SLP is still high, I tend to be more active on the group chat. But when I finally entered on the scholar chat, it became one of my biggest regrets. And since I'm not a kind of guy who is easily to give up, I still aimed my best despite the price of SLP. Surprisingly, I get the chance to be a Pega racer after having a good MMR.
Pegaxy added on my obligations, and playing that game is not that much tiring since the VIS was getting to the moon. But after the breeding event, all of my built dreams are vanished. I'm still pursuing myself to play it even I'm in the huge paper loss. From 13 pesos to 0.22 pesos, real quick.
As I wanted to save money for myself, I'm still hustling. As a scholar of those two P2E games, my daily goal is to consume all of their energies. I will still continue to play it even I'm having a hard time to manage my schedules.
If you are curious if I will quit, not now but soon. But I feel like giving up is one of the biggest betrayers that I'll do just for my personal state. Once I graduated on SHS, I guess that I need to bid goodbye on the camaraderie that I created. Not yet certain because we don't know what will still happen. I think that is for the best. Just tired on my endless loses, and balancing my time.
Just to be clear, I'm not saying that the AxieBCH is the worst guild. In fact, they are the best that I know, but every time I'm losing, I wanted to quit. I wish that I can still hold tight from this risk.
That's the reason why I do not like to play earning games because it's not interactive, you are like a robot playing until you'll get the rank. For me, it will make you more introvert and stressful. Maybe while you're playing that game your mindset somewhat change. I prefer microblogging like noisecash you can talk and share your problems to the people there but playing Axie and other games, if you'll be stress you'll be stress until your sleep. Mental wrecker but it's still your choice if you're going to stay or leave.