In life, I feel like I am a bird who is still waiting for a right time to be free on his cage. Trying to be fluent on figurative language, but it looks like I'm used to be locked on a collar while the people on the house are carrying the chain connected in my things. Every time I desire to commit the things I wanted to do against their will, they are saying that I should be financially stable since they are the rules in my life. Well, I couldn't agree more. I just wished to myself that I'll be free in no time.
Call me crazy but I'm already imagining myself being independent after a decade of endeavor while working in another country. That's my dream that I admire to get, you know. Not to mention my relatives here, since we guess that we should only mind our own.
A few weeks ago, my mother accompanied my grandmother who is a diabetic from the clinic which is just a mile away from our house. Then after she came here, she reported to us that she is diagnosed with UTI or Urinary Track Infection. Of course, my mother reminded us that we should drink water more often as we can. If I were not mistaken, her elder sibling died due to kidney failure, and I was not yet living in this world during those days. Due to that incident, my grandmother became more even weak, and we came up with the topic death.
As we are eating, my brother incidentally states that my grandmother will die in no time. However, I disagree on his compliment, and I stated that she will still live longer in this world since she still have many money. Unfortunately, my mother spoke that she'll be no longer existing since she seems that she would leave here at exact 70. I felt sad, you know. 70 years old was the date where my grandpa in mother's became a cold body.
Since I was curious, I asked her where will the farm would go if she leave this world. As usual, she said that it would be on the hands of my rich and generous auntie from Singapore which is a good decision. If you will ask what is the heritage that my mother would receive if she death, I guess that she already got it since her share were already converted into cash, and she utilized that for our house. Likewise, my rich auntie already gave her a cash instead of a share of land, and I guess that it's a wise decison.
She also dictated that I will not be longer see my relatives in grandmother's side once my grandmother would die. Even let's say that we are still blood related and still respecting each other, we couldn't be assured that the tradition we are celebrating will still be existing. It seems that my aunts and uncle presently will be a grandparent soon, as we know that we are also maturing. Relatively, it sounnd like we are just passing our genes from generation to generation. Sounds unfortunate, right? Well, that's the reality that we should swallow.
Back to the first statement, I don't know when I could live alone as I wanted to find myself where do I belong. Do you think that I can already live alone once I found the environment which is suited for me? Then, what is my destiny?
Personally, I wanted to be independent which is far away from judgements, and I also want to meet other people. As I'm growing, it seems like I'm not included here. In this country where I'm stepping, it sounds like all of us are undervalued, and I'm not seeing any progress even we can say that this is the nation we became as one.
If you have an issue here in the country even you are popular or not, you are not immuned to gossips. Marites are everywhere, and that's the reason I hate interacting physically. Aside from that, most of the Filipino kids here has been more exposed in matured relationship which they are seeing on social media sites. I also don't like the governance of the corrupt officials here because of the slow improvement. To summarize all the things urging me to move on new environment, I just don't like this country's immaturity.
If you would ask, the first country that I like to move is Singapore because I'm impressed to their discipline and dedication to be successful. Since I was high school, I'm already dreaming to leave peacefully on that country due to their fast connection. Not only that, I also want to be like my aunt who is already working and she's spoiling us too much because she only has one son. Sorry, but I just want to leave a peaceful life in the future why I wrote it.
I understand your point and actually the system of our goverment was good, why it became worst is by the people who rule it. Sad but reality.