If I were my Papa

August 29, 2021, at 12:13 AM

The month is almost over and I still haven't finished writing an article to honor my dad. His death anniversary was on August 14. I was too preoccupied with Saoirse's 13th month's celebration (We only had ice cream).

My parents met when my Mama was 16 and my Papa was, I think 24. It was a whirlwind romance. I am pretty sure it wasn't built in the foundation of love, trust, and friendship because most of my childhood memories about them were all about fighting.

Given the chance to be in my father's shoes, here are things that I could have done:

Not marry my mama

It's not that I didn't want him to be happy. He should have asked himself whether he wanted to raise a family, not just marry out of obligation. They could have lived together first and figured out whether they are compatible or not. Then arranged joint custody if they weren't amicable. It could have saved them from hurting themselves. (If he married her because of love, things could have been different.)

I'd go back to Jordan

My papa was a class A welder. He went to Jordan to work and became the breadwinner of his family. When he came home to the Philippines in 1984, he was introduced to gambling and drinking by his friends. He got addicted to the vices. If he thought of our future, he could have returned abroad.

I will spend time with my daughters

My father wanted a boy, that's why he was so excited when my mama was pregnant with me. My name could have been Artagnan if I were a boy. He still named me though and I became his favorite daughter. But he didn't spend a lot of time with us. He spent it with his friends. But we did have some bonding moments:

My papa and I went to the city. I was 6 or 7. He got so pissed off because I kept on asking him to buy all the goodies I see on the street. He said, "I wish I didn't tag you along". In the end, he bought me a pair of sneakers.

I was 10. We went to the parlor, it was actually just a neighbor's house. The stylist asked me what hairstyle I'd love to have. I answered, "One length". I wanted to look good because school's gonna open soon. I was horrified because she kept on cutting my hair until it was too short.

I just made a research about "Coconut bob". It's the kind of cut she gave me. I thought I was just making it up when I said I looked like a coconut! I cried when we arrived home and blamed my papa. He was laughing at me, to my annoyance.

I do believe he tried his hardest to become our father. It may not be what he wanted to do. But despite his imperfections, I had a papa who:

1. Protected us every time someone wanted to bully us

2. Gave me a portion of his salary, especially when I was in college

3. Knew how to play guitar and taught me how to do so

4. Called me "Plangging and nak nak"

5. Planted trees whenever he goes to his lot. We did see the fruit of his labor.

6. Was always proud of me (I'm the favorite, sorry sisters).

7. Was a good cook. I wish he taught me all he knew about cooking.

I didn't see my papa until his last breath. I was here in Manila trying to find a good job so I could support his medications. I do think he spent his life according to his will, whatever the result of those actions may be.

To the "Leader of the Band", thanks for bringing some "rock n' roll" into our lives Papa. This one's for you.

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I am not bitter that my Papa wasn't the father I wanted to be, but I am thankful that I existed because of him.

How about you, do you have the best dad? What were the greatest lessons you learned from your father? Any unforgettable moments? Comment down below and let's have a chat.

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**Coconut bob pic was from Photodetective

**Lead image was from Unsplash.com

**The rest of the content is mine