Today is my Mama's 3rd Death Anniversary
This was originally posted on my Facebook account this morning so I just have to share it here.
This is not the first time I wrote an article about my mom's death anniversary. The first one was written here: Remembering My Mama Estela
Today is my Mama’s 3rd Death Anniversary, it wasn’t the happiest valentine’s week.
Sa mga singles dinha, mga way uyab, DATE YOUR PARENTS. DATE YOUR MOTHER.
If you feel SUFFOCATED from your previous relationship, ENJOY YOUR LIFE BEING SINGLE, ENJOY THE REAL FREEDOM, and don’t jump to a new relationship right away.
If you’ve been single for a long time, you have the right to flirt responsibly.
When I ended a previous relationship in 2013, I enjoyed my life being SINGLE and FREE. NO BOYFRIEND, NO PROBLEM. When my father died in 2015, I told my mother that we should enjoy our lives. I even told her I was ready to be an old maid after years of no boyfriend. Before I forget, I was judged that I would get married early. How early? 23, 24, 25? Oh heck, I enjoyed my life traveling.
Inviting my mom to travel wasn’t easy as she always rejected my idea. But I told her she needed a break. PALAWAN was her getaway in 2015. She always SACRIFICED HER OWN HAPPINESS and she wouldn’t mind to SERVE OTHERS FIRST BEFORE HERSELF.
I rolled my eyes many times saying, “Ma, your children are all adults, no? It’s time to look after yourself.”
Oh well, there’s a TOXIC FAMILY MEMBER na STRESS Lang ambag sa life. Adik2 pa more.
January 2017, nag alsa-balutan ko. June 2017, the big C hit her.
The most painful thing I’ve heard from my mother before she died in my arms?
“NAGMAHAY KO KAY WALA KO MAMINAW NIMO. PERO NAHITABO NAMAN, WALA KOY MAHIMO.”
It’s difficult to move on coz what she said always echoes in my mind.
Let this be a reminder to CUT OFF TOXIC PEOPLE. TO FORGIVE IS NOT TO FORGET. ABUSIVE PEOPLE will take advantage of forgiving is forgetting. And will use the name of God for hypocrisy. Despite the DISTANCE, some people will never change.
When stress caught you, always choose yourself. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself.
To my mother, I always pray to you and for you.
I am currently under stress due to the loss of my father, and tomorrow is the first anniversary of his death. Today I published here a text that I wrote in the first days after his death. Every day is a struggle. I try to think of myself in this stress like you say, but it's hard.