This Time, I Won't Woo You!

ARTICLE NO. 98 OF 2022
TITLE: <This Time, I Won't Woo You!>
DATE OF PUBLISHING: <JULY 04, 2022>

Are you in good terms with your Father? If yes, I envied you.

It's not a secret that our family, specifically I and Mama, were facing financial difficulties for years. More so, the reason why. Though, I ain't blaming our Papa for this kind of life that we have. Why? Simply because it is how our life was even before. It's just that, maybe it will be a bit lighter if the head of the family was supporting us and providing our needs.

He's been unemployed for over 3-years and during that time, Mama started carrying all of his "supposedly" responsibilities.

As the eldest, I can't just shrug my shoulders and say: "Mama can do it all, so I better not care and make a move." Oh, how I hope that it's that simple. But, I can't. I can't afford to see my Mother to suffer and be stressed, all alone.

So, what did I do? I think of how I can possibly help her and immediately begin to make such an actions. How to?

I offers tutorial sessions for PhP 100.00 ($1.82) per hour;

I do blogging & other crypto-related hustles;

Accepts academic commissions.

Upon minding all of these side hustles, I seems working for about 24/7. Yes, non-stop. Why? Our needs aren't being lessen, it became more and more in every passing days. Not to mention the challenges that we are facing.

Wanna know if I have resentment (sama ng loob) to Papa? Yes, I have. I think, it's normal. Am I right? Coz I feel like he's neglecting us and doesn't mind us at all. Because if he is, he should be working to earn and give our needs. Yes, I can already contribute but we all know that I am still a student. Also, my side hustles aren't for forever.

Last year, we have a misunderstanding. How and why? Here:

Storytelling

One afternoon, Mama & Papa are arguing about a certain thing. As my ears feels so irritated I told them, "'di na naman kayo titigil diyan." Then Papa said: "mga nakapag-aral lang kasi kayo." And I was like "what?" Why does out of nowhere we goes to that thing?

Me, being a responsible student, answered: "tandaan mo 'yang sinabi mo, 'Pa." Then, I leave and secluded myself in our room.

I'm offended, yes. So much! After that argument, he don't talk to me which prolongs for 2-days. I cried, yes. I'm offended and hurt but I don't want us to be like that. So on the 3rd day, I begged for his forgiveness even if I didn't do something wrong. As in, I begged.

As months passed by, he became more irresponsible. I don't want to throw that word but I can't hold myself, any longer. On the past months, I didn't attempt to interfere with my parents' arguments. Not because I'm scared of him, certainly for a reason that:

"I don't want to beg again. Don't want to lower down my pride & feminity for him, no. Not anymore."

Apparently, it happened again. Can remember "girly bond" last Saturday?

Before we leave the house, I told Papa that I will send him a message if he should fetch us in the city proper. For a reason that instead of letting him drive just to pick us up, I preferred to commute again via a tricycle.

When we reached our house, Papa was all prepared and just waiting for my text. Yes, I am wrong in this aspect. I know and admit it! I should've text him that there's no need to fetch us, right?

Here's the real deal. After that, he don't talk to me. He doesn't even eat the food that I takeout from Mang Inasal and in there? I already know that there's something wrong.

"And, I just let it be. Like I said, I won't beg for him again. I am not mad nor annoyed but this time, I won't woo him."

Say that I'm "ma-pride" or what, but I won't change my mind. He won't talk to me? Okay, I will too. It's easy for me coz I always preferred to stay inside our room the whole day and just hustle.

Why not woo him instead of going along with his trip? If I say "sorry", it will just make him feel more superior and I don't like it.

It is toxic for me~ I mean, he don't provide my needs anymore, so he shouldn't have been treating my submissively. It is for him too, to correct that kind of attitude. In fact, that should've been made a big deal. He's just so ma-pride, sensitive, and all.

This time, I won't woo him but I'll still make him feel respected. Maybe by this, he will be enlightened of his actions & behavior. Well, hopefully. *crossed fingers*

Disclaimer: This article tackles my "rants" and personal Point-of-View. Bash or hate me for my response towards this matter, but I'll get this through.

For more articles, just visit me here in read.cash:

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