How to respect others? The truth is, I do not have the answer to this question. I Have always been taught that is the person is elderly, senior or someone who has higher standard or status than me, I need to respect them. I have been doing that, I guess but I am having conflict within myself. Let me share with you the feelings that I have been keeping inside my heart for a very long time.
Older than me.
I know that I need to respect the elderly because they are born first, and their experiences and knowledge are valuables. As a younger person, I need to respect them and harvest their knowledge from them for future benefits. Their experiences sometimes save me from repeating the same mistake that they once did. Their best attitude is my guidelines to become a better person. I can understand that the older people be they will be prone to be back into a child state of mind especially if they have the illness but not all of them.
Elderly that I can automatically show respect without even asking are those people who can teach me to have more values in life. What values am I talking about?
Having patient so that I would not have to be angry all the time.
Being able to control my stress level so that I will not become too tired of doing my responsibilities.
Being responsible so that I will not be troubled with all unfinished job or task in my life.
Becoming a hardworking person so that I will have less complaint and avoid giving difficulties to other people.
Above are all the values that I need in my life. I do not think that I have it. I want to be patient, less stressful, responsible, hardworking, and kind with honesty. I know that I do not have to be like this all the time, but it made me feel better though I do not know the reason. Is it meant to be my personality?
Seniority.
Being a senior to me meant that I need to be a good role model for all my junior. If I do not want them to misbehave, I need to behave properly myself first. If I need them to be considerable, I need to be one myself first. If I need them to behave the way that I want them to be, I need to show them the reason. I need them to understand without giving pressure on them. I know some junior, when treated nicely they probably go over our head and step on us but not all of them. This is when boundaries are made, do not be too friendly if I do not intend to be friendly.
If the limit is as a co-worker, as employees-employer, senior-junior or boss-worker, let it be like that. The problem with being too friendly is as a friend I show my real self to you. As a friend, instead of saying, “Good morning, boss” with a bow, I will say,” Hi boss, your blouse is not a good match with your pants today. What happened?” The conclusion is, I talk a lot without watching over my words, without arranging my sentences so that it would not be rude to my senior.
I am uncontrollable if it comes to my honesty therefore, I am taught to lied with a purpose to save each other. I do not mean to be honest with a purpose to get someone in trouble, it is better if I do not know the detail so I can just say, “I don’t know.”
It is hard for me to give an explanation when I know on the other way that it is not like that. This has created ‘a me’ that is afraid, to tell the truth to someone in a certain area. I become afraid to speak of the truth of my feelings. I like writing, I feel more true than living in the real world. Sometimes, I do not even know whether I speak the truth or am I lying?
Higher standard or status.
Those who are rich usually will be treated nicely compared to the middle class, especially the poor. The rich will be seen as a king or queen and most of them do expect to be treated as one. (The real king and queen are an exclusion in this part)
For the middle class, nobody disturbs them much, I guess. It probably the most comfortable level perhaps.
The poor. If there is a thief, robbery, killer, any wrongdoing, who will probably be blamed with that? Sometimes, hardship in life created an attitude that becomes like a trend, the same goes for the rich. The attitude I see is seen as a trend. The rich are arrogant and the poor is rude. I do not mean to offend anyone here, this is just based on my personal thoughts.
The one thing that all this level has in common is…
Not all of them is the same.
Someone just must look in a little bit further to see the real things inside of them. Media is not always right but they are not always wrong either, the same goes for everyone. If someone tell me that a friend stab me in the back, I need to ask that friend myself and get t o know their own reasoning before I jump into conclusion. This will be a series of good and bad until I really get in trouble with either one before I can decide to step away. As a friend said, I am a checker.
If I cannot find anything, I will just leave them be. I always believe that if “God wants me to know the truth, the truth will reveal itself someday.”
To respect someone is to be able to learn some values from that someone. The values that I learn will make me respect that someone. It does not matter if they are older or younger, senior, or junior, rich, or poor. All of them are human, the same as me.
How am I going to respect someone older than me if that someone is a drunk who have no job but always rude to his mother that work to give him money for drinking? Always brag and talk a lot but did not show any of the values he talks about in his life.
How am I going to respect a senior that do not have professional approach and use threatening to force the juniors to work hard while giving reward for their hard work is better than threatening?
How am I to respect a rich person who cannot spare the extra, extra wealth (well, just wealthy is not enough to be a big giver for me because someone might need the extra for emergency) he have without expecting any in returns, while the poor give away everything they have to help someone who is more in need compare to them. If someone does not give or spent it is because they just want to protect themselves from being in difficulties without expenses. Well, I cannot deny that money is important to every living being in this world. If someone give even though they do not have enough for them and expect none in return, that is the person that I call friend.
This does not mean that I am expecting everything for free. When the time come, it will be my turn to return the favor.
respect is earned, this is learned from home, if some people lack this value it is because respect was not present in their home, a person with anti-values does not deserve respect.