I have a dream and I believe you do too. I want to have a life where I no longer have to think so much about where to get money for food, bills, car and savings. Plus, no more debts to the bank.
Since my car is still broken, my father drives me to work and pick me in the evening for these few days. Yesterday I asked him if he and my younger sister could help me to pay a few my loans especially the one for the house they are living now. If they cannot help me with money, at least help me with my groceries especially my little one needs like diapers and milk powder.
This morning, he told me that he is tired of sending me to work and picking me up in the evening so he told me that he can only send me but no longer will pick me. That is alright. I can understand that.
The second questions and statements made me sad. He asked, what are all the loans for? Well, I said, "Your house, my car and my house. Your house is going to be own by my younger sister later so she should help me pay a bit. If she does not have money, then help me with the groceries if you can."
Then he told me all about their difficulties, needs of money and where my younger sister has no job. He asked me to take care of my younger sister when they are gone because she cannot work while she needs to take care of them. Well, I am the black sheep of the family. I did not leave with them anymore after I am married. I do not know how to take care of them while our opinions do not meet. He keeps on throwing responsibilities to me and I think that I have made enough sacrifices.
They went building a house on land that has not been written their name on it yet and we got to chase away and been living in a room at my another uncle house for a few years until I graduate and manage to loan with my first salary. In my thoughts, it is the parents' responsibility to provide for their own before the children. Their plan ruin and I willingly took the responsibility to fix that. Now they have a home and I just build another one for my own. A smaller one but just enough for me.
My father always said that he does not want me to live a hardship in life. If they really want me to be happy they should know that they owe me an explanation. An explanation for all the beginning of the hardship I am facing. I wonder why won't they tell me anything. I have let go of the questions but sometimes when things like this happen. it comes back to me.
As for my conclusion?
I accept everything he asks for as my responsibilities except for the part that I need to take care of my sister until death. I wonder when is he going to treat my sister as an adult. Can't he see that my younger sister is now capable of being independent if only he let her? Maybe he can but I just can't see it.
I did mention sacrifices but I do not mean unwillingness. I did it because I want them to be comfortable. I wonder if it is bad for me to ask help from them regarding the payment. Some will say, you should and some will say you don't have too because that is your family and they are no longer working. My parents have their pension money so I never gave them money because I myself do to have enough. My sister depends on them but she is slowly growing her small business. Her only limitation is my father way of thinking.
I do believe someday things will be better for me and my sister. I hope that my father can see that we will not end up like him. He always thinks that his life is miserable even though I think that he has a lot to be thankful for. He did not have debt all his life because I am the one that did that for him. He has a house and all he had left to think is their health and needs.
I do hope someday I can see my father are satisfied with his life.
I can relate to this, I mean my partner can relate. He was told by his parents to take care of his younger brother when they were gone, and what annoys me is that his younger brother doesn't have any goals in life, just messing around and so immature cant even help the in the house to wash dishes. Then their house needs to be renovated and it was all for his obligations, and so many demands. I am annoyed because we are not even established yet so many responsibilities he has to take care of, it's okay to help but what about us, me and his daughter. If after five years he still prioritizes every demand of his family first before ours then I must decide and find a way out.