Memories are food for the soul.

As a teenager, and for as long as I can remember since my childhood, I always liked children. When I was about 16 years old I learned that I had a newborn niece and her mother brought her home for us, my mother and siblings, to meet her.

It so happened that my older brother had an argument with my father and didn't want to hear from him anymore, so he stopped visiting us for a long time and that's why we didn't meet the baby girl until she came to our house.

As the things of God are perfect, it so happened that all of us had to move out of the house where we had been living for many years. My dad found it necessary to look for a house given from the government benefits and was given an option to buy and pay for a new house in parts.

That is how we moved to the house where I currently live, my mother's house, but of course without any of my parents in this day and age because they have been dead for many years.

When we were living here we found out that our older brother and his wife lived extremely close to us. How wonderful! I would have my niece nearby and then came the other one, then another one and then finally the final one.

But there were two first nieces and nephews up to that point, they were spoiled by everyone in my house. Whenever I went out they were always with me and whenever I left my job for the day I always looked for them at home so they could be here with my mom and my siblings.

Then I finished my first career as a professional and almost at 18 months I bought my car. These kids came and went for rides all the time, by that time my older sisters also had their children and my car was full of nephews and nieces.

I think I always had a total of 5 nephews and nieces with me, the youngest ones stayed with their mothers and those who could stand the hustle and bustle came with me. We would go to the beach, to the river, to the night walks along the paths that were on the shores of the beaches.

Because this is a coastal city, the shores of the beaches had paths for people to come at night to walk with their families. It was totally known by all the tourists and residents who came to ride skateboards and bicycles and it was the most awaited thing for the kids in the evenings.

My nephews could have that pleasure with me, they could come in the evenings for a walk on the beach and in the daytime to enjoy the warm beaches. Those were very pleasant times.

But then other responsibilities came to me. I had to go to continue studying and the routine changed, I only came back on vacations and had to work to save some money, stress took over my life and the responsibilities increased more and more. My character was changing without me realizing it.

I was no longer enjoying myself the way I used to, all this work and the constant thinking about how to provide the money to support my second college career changed the way I was.

The kids grew up, they got older and I had more personal expenses and couldn't spoil them like I used to.

Now I was always upset. Occasionally I enjoyed things and little by little I neglected the family togetherness. It seemed like this was my responsibility but I didn't realize it. As the years went by I just wanted to be alone.

I had a lot of resentment against everything and everyone and so I went from being a sweet girl to a girl who was always worried and annoyed with everyone. As if the world was to blame for my decisions.

I realize now the mistakes I made, but now it is too late. I fostered family disunity for many years of my life. I was blinded by the weariness of my frustrations at not being able to achieve my goals fast enough as my mind wanted them.

Everything I wanted I got with a lot of sacrifice, effort and persistence, but along the way I changed my personality and lost my perspective of what family meant.

I wanted to be with my friends and I despised family. As if they were to blame for my decisions. I didn't know it at the time as I pointed out earlier, so I was blinded by resentment of always fending for myself and not having the support of my family.

But I didn't see clearly. For many, many years I was staring into the dark and seeing nothing, but then what had to happen happened and God shook my life so that I turned my eyes towards Him and He gave me a second chance.

I learned to read His word and know the meaning of it and so little by little, like a newborn child, I took small steps until I understood what I know now.

Life without family is nothing. Roots are everything. Encouraging the union was my next evolutionary process and I am making small steps but with a lot of interest in the task.

The difference is that families got used to not being together and now, due to the difficulties of this country, all the members of these families are separating and going to other places, outside the country and now we can only pray to God that we can see each other through the media in the networks.

My nephews and nieces, men and women all, each one now has their own families. They have all forgotten that their first years of childhood were spent with me… Few remember me and maybe they even forgot me, but now my memories are stronger than before because of my age. Now I remember them very much and I live with much happiness of their experiences with me.

I have my son with me. I was also a mother with a lot of character that I directed towards him, but that is another story. At the moment we are together, we are best friends and we love each other. Until God decides otherwise, we will be spending this time we have together, as family.

Someday he will be starting his own family and I hope it will be close-knit just like mine should have been.

Thank you for your reading and comments. I am really pleased to read your opinions on this matter.